The Broken Box and the Five Pandoras

“...What… What in the name of all that’s decent in this world have you done?”

Have you ever been in a terrible situation where you messed up so badly… you left a teacher almost speechless and considered changing your identity and running away? This happened to me and four other students.

My name is Cassie Gray. I am the only human being in my class. I have only one friend, who is a fairy girl who is short and round. Fairies in my world are usually the size of humans. Her name is Bernice Calm. She doesn’t really fit her namesake. She is terrible in emergencies and is always drinking her “tonic.” It’s caffeinated soda with chocolate syrup, gummy worms, and whip cream. It’s one of the reasons she’s jittery all the time.

Anyways, we were having a bit of a field trip. It was to a history museum and we went into this three-seater bus with air conditioning, so I couldn’t complain. While I waited for Bernice, I listened to electro-swing (greatest music in history, by the way!) and read the history of Pandora’s box on my laptop. The most valuable object in the museum. Legend has it that a girl named Pandora opened the box, and all sorts of discord came out. So did Hope.

 I saw Bernice, thermos in hand, scurrying to my seat. A scrawny satyr boy with goggles happily followed behind her, and sat right next to her. I realized in horror that it was the new weird kid. Virgil Reece.

Virgil Reece sits next to me in english. I swear he never blinks. Or he blinks when I blink. I pulled out an earbud. I gave Bernice the “Why is he here?” look. She gave me a “I’m sorry, I can’t say no to people” look. Virgil pulled out a jar of pickles out of his backpack and started to munch on them.

“Hey bobble-head! Could you tell your boyfriend to stow away the pickles? I hate them!” 

  That was Luna Hekabe. The gorgon with black lipstick. Also someone you do not want to mess with. I mean, I don’t think you’d want to mess with anyone with snakes on their head. Unsurprisingly, she had a whole row to herself. Bernice turned bright red.

“HE’S NOT MY BOYFRIEND! HE JUST NEEDED A SEAT!” She squeaked quite loudly.

  Virgil drank half off the pickle juice, then offered Luna a pickle.

“It’s nature’s way of saying mustard!” he replied happily.

  In a blink of an eye, Luna smacked the jar out of his hand.

“GET THAT CRAP OUT OF MY FACE!” she snapped.

  I was about to say something, when someone did it for me.

“Whoa Whoa! Be cool guys! Be cool!”

It was Warwick Sloan. He’s a tiefling. He also got in trouble several times for not wearing a shirt or shoes to class. Also for letting every class pet out.

Today, he wore a Hawaiian shirt. He sat right next to Luna.

“This whole row is taken, hippie.” Luna snapped.

Warwick didn’t move. He just smiled at her.

“Nothing is really ours,” he replied calmly. “And at the same time, everything is made for us.”

Luna glared at him.

“If I were to snap off your horns, would that make them mine?” she growled.

  I rolled my eyes and leaned to Bernice, who was shaking like a chihuahua.

“This will be a fun ride.” I whispered.

We arrived at the museum. A big white marble building. The tour started off well. We saw some really cool paintings that come to life when you use a certain spell. Then… something happened. Virgil tripped over nothing and bumped into Luna. Luna pushed him so hard that she knocked him into Bernice, in turn, knocking her down.

“Hey! That was an accident!” I snapped.

“Pipe down weirdo.” Luna snapped.

“You know what? No! You are apologizing to Bernice! And Virgil, I guess.” I replied sternly.

Then she pushed me! That snake had pushed me! I usually don’t get involved in fights, but when someone is attacking me and Bernice, all bets are off. Bernice and Virgil were pulling me away from Luna, while Warwick was doing the same thing with Luna.

“Guys! Stop!” Bernice wailed.

“Violence is not the answer!” Warwick advised.

“Every time you fight, someone in heaven cries!” Virgil shouted.

 In the process, we knocked down Pandora’s box. The box’s lid snapped right off. We broke it. Pandora’s box was the most valuable thing in the building, and we broke it. Me and Luna took one look at eachother, and knew: we were in trouble.

The five of us sat in plastic chairs in front of a toad security guard who looked to be a hundred-thousand years old. He eyed us suspiciously. The room was a little small, and it was windowless. Luna pulled out her black lipstick and started putting a new coat on her lips. The security guard, who I'll call: “Mr. Toad,” snapped his fingers.

“Give it here, Miss!” he croaked.

  Luna rolled her eyes and gave it to him. He put it in his drawer. After a while, he drifted off to sleep.

“This is your fault you know…” Luna hissed at me.

  I was so done with her. Virgil got up and walked towards the peaceful sleeping guard.

“My fault? You were the one being a jerk!” I hissed.

   “Uh… guys? The security guard isn’t breathing.” Virgil told everyone.

  Every one of us froze when he said that. Warwick got up slowly. He put his two fingers against the toad’s neck. His eyes widened.

“I can’t feel a pulse.” he announced grimly.

Luna stood up quickly.

“Are you freaking kidding me?!” she asked.

  Warwick shook his head. He croaked. The old toad had croaked. We were fugitives who were in the same room as a dead security guard. Virgil tried the door. It was locked from the outside.

“I have to pee!” he told us.

  Bernice, who had been quiet the whole time we were in here, looked at the toad. He looked at me, then at Virgil, then back at the toad. Processing every bit of the unfortunate situation we were in. Then she unleashed a scream that would make a banshee jealous. We all shushed her, but it was no use. Bernice was hysterical.

“Cassie! We are all dead! We are going to jail! I’ll never graduate high school! I’ll never go to college! I’ll never be a successful lawyer!” she sobbed.

“I really have to pee!” Virgil repeated.

  I rummaged through Bernice’s backpack and grabbed her Thermos. I shoved the thermos into her hands

“I’m bursting!” Virgil cried out.

“There's a bucket in the corner over there!” Warwick told him.

“I’m not going to pee in here! There are girls here!” Virgil wailed.

    “Then hold it!”

  Bernice tried to open her thermos full of her “tonic.” Her hands were shaking so bad, that she dropped it, and it splattered all over the place. Virgil’s eyes widened.

“Everyone, do not look in this corner!” he begged.

  He rushed to the bucket and started relieving himself.

“That is disgusting!” Luna told him.

  Bernice averted her eyes. She was still sobbing. I focused on grabbing the wet wipes and cleaning up the floor and Bernice’s shoes, comforting her while I did so. Warwick was trying to sing a soothing song to calm her down.  Luna started digging in the security guards drawer. He tipped over, and fell on the floor.

“What are you doing?!” I snapped.

“Getting my lipstick, then busting out of here!” she told me.

  That was when Bernice noticed the open air duct.

“I’M GETTING OUT OF HERE!” she screamed.

  Before anyone could stop her, Bernice flew into the air duct, and got herself stuck halfway. She screamed even louder.

“Get her unstuck!” Luna told us.

  Me and Warwick grabbed a leg and pulled. That was when our teacher walked in. We all froze. It was a mess. Virgil at the bucket. Luna with one hand in a security guard’s drawer, one hand gripping her lipstick. Bernice’s “tonic” all over the floor next to Mr. Toad. To top it all off, me and Warwick, were pulling out Bernice, who attempted to escape out of the air duct. For a long time, our teacher was at a total loss for words.

“...What… What in the name of all that’s decent in this world have you done?”

So… yeah. That was our field-trip-gone-horribly-wrong story. We never went to jail, but we almost got expelled. We also had to work at the museum to pay for the damages. Eventually, when we all got older and matured a little bit, we all became friends. Breaking that box brought us some discord, but it also brought an unlikely friendship. I guess Pandora was right to open the box.