Breaking Bread

  'Angel, said James as they sat down to breakfast, I was thinking that as the kids are not coming for Christmas that we could invite a few friends around to celebrate with us here. Much nicer than going out, don't you think?'           

 Well, if the truth is told, Lucy was looking forward to going out instead of spending the whole day cooking, but as Jack seemed so keen on the idea and it would be nice to spend a Christmas dinner with friends their own age and once the dinner was cooked, she could also enjoy the evening. ‘Yes, I dare say we can, providing you help me on the day,’ she said.

               ‘Oh yes sure, I can cook the turkey on the Weber, and I will help tidy up before and after, I know you were set on going out, but it is so much nicer to have a meal at home, don’t you think?’

               Four couples were invited, they had all been friends for years, a perfect number thought Lucy, ten of us in total. Well, that was until Jack phoned and asked if they would mind if they brought two extra people. Apparently, every Christmas they invite two people from the old age home to join them for dinner. Lucy was not enamored with the idea but how could she refuse.

               The turkey had been stuffed and trussed and was almost ready to come off the Weber, the fillet which Lucy had cooked was medium rare – just pink in the middle and was resting. The vegetables, cauliflower cheese – the cheese crust bubbling away. The brussels sprouts glistened with the fat from the bacon. The butternut squash was in the oven, the roast potatoes were crispy, the carrots had been glazed and the peas were waiting in the pot to be cooked once the main meal was served. The bouillabaisse soup which had been made the day before was heating up on the stove, the ciabatta had been sliced and the butter had been cut into small blocks. There were two puddings – a traditional fruit pudding, which was accompanied with brandy butter and cream, and a chocolate Buche de noel.

 The table looked welcoming, the linen table- cloth and linen napkins contrasted against the silver cutlery and the wine glasses. One for white – with the first course, one for red and a smaller one for a dessert wine. She had even set the cheese tray. Fresh grapes and peaches, two different types of preserves, four different types of savoury biscuits, and Lindt chocolate balls scattered haphazardly on the platter. The candles which had twinkling lights around them, sat ready in their silver holders, which sat firmly on the table so that the other person on the other side of the table, did not have their view blocked. The champagne glasses had been set out on a tray the strawberry liqueur and the strawberries had been placed in the glasses, waiting for the pop of the champagne when the guests arrive. Lucy had to admit to herself that a restaurant would not have put on a feast such as they had, well that was without costing a month’s salary. She spread cream cheese over the blinis. She took a piece of smoked salmon and laid it on top of the cream cheese and topped it with a sprinkling of caviar. She put these next to the champagne glasses on the tray and was just admiring the tall Christmas tree which sparkled with fairy lights and hi-lightening the red and green ornaments, she was just about to put on some music when the phone rang.

‘’ Hello Lucy, we are running a bit late so would James mind picking up the people from the home, they will be waiting outside. It is a man named Saul and a woman named Mildred.

As James stopped outside the old age home, he saw two elderly people standing outside on the pavement. He got out of the car and said, ‘Hello, I am James, Jack asked me to pick you up and take you to our house for Christmas dinner.  I presume you are Saul and Mildred.

The stench was overpowering as they got in the car and James thought, poor devils they really aren’t looked after well at the home.

Lucy was shocked when she saw them and quickly hustled them upstairs to the guest bathrooms to shower.’ I seem to remember that there were some clothes that might fit them from the thrift boxes that were delivered last week.

They came downstairs looking like different people. The pants were a little short for Saul but at least the shirt, jumper, and shoes didn’t fit too badly. The dress that Mildred had on was a little big at the shoulders but with the cardigan over it wasn’t that noticeable, and as Mildred took the same size shoe as Lucy, she was able to give her a pair of ones she didn’t really wear. Though the one thing that Mildred would not give up was a big carpetbag that she clung onto. All Lucy managed to do was spray the bag inside and out with some disinfectant. The rest of their clothes were put into a plastic bag and put outside along with the surgical gloves which she had used to handle the clothes with. She made a mental note to give the matron a telling-off about the way that they treat people in the home.

The others arrived all dressed in their finest – well it was Christmas after all!  

The champagne was poured and handed out along with the canapes. Mildred took two and made them into a sandwich and then promptly spat them out. ‘What is them black things, she asked.

‘That is caviar, said Lucy.

               ‘Well, I don’t like em,’ said Mildred. She then proceeded to down her champagne and held out her glass for more. As it was just meant to be an aperitif to have with the canapes before dinner, James was not planning on opening another bottle as he felt that two were more than enough for twelve people, but he couldn’t be rude to his guests, so he did. Both Mildred and Saul held out their glasses for more. Lucy called everyone to the table. Saul and Mildred insisted on sitting together with her carpetbag between them on the floor. The bouillabaisse was served first, but before it could even be served, Saul and Mildred had both taken two slices of bread and equally as much butter and had already stuffed both slices of bread into their mouths and were just about to reach for more when Mildred screamed and flung the unpeeled prawn straight across the table, at Mona who was sitting on the other side of the table. It landed straight onto Mona’s perfectly coiffured hair. The yellow liquid dripped slowly through her hair and onto her face. She was furious but too shocked to say a word.

               ‘Fought it were going to bite me,’ said Mildred.

Then she and Saul promptly discarded any bits that looked suspicious, onto their side plates and picked up their bowls with their hands and with much slurping downed their soup in one go and then held their bowls up for more.  The white wine which had been poured was gulped down too and now they weren’t even waiting to be served but had put the bottle in front of them and were helping themselves.  

James carved the turkey and the fillet perfectly; the vegetables were all set out and Saul and Mildred were the first to help themselves - a big mistake.  They each took a leg, and a wing, and white meat and piled their plates up with the vegetables and gravy.  The red wine was served which they also made short work of and then claimed the bottle as their own. They had almost finished eating by the time everyone else had got their food and in no time, without being asked had got up to have a second helping of an equally big portion of the first helping.

Mildred insisted on helping to clear the table. Lucy said that she could bring the used cutlery and she could take the plates Mildred followed her to the scullery. But just at that moment, she heard a glass crash to the floor, so she put the plates down and went to see what had happened. 

Saul, who had needed to use the bathroom, but being quite inebriated he fell over the chair and landed across Jack's lap, pulls himself up, but still stagering proceeded to get up and walk unsteadily and hit his leg on the corner of the table and as he tried to grab his sore leg with his hand, his arm flung out and sent Samantha’s red wine glass bouncing off the table, and shattering into pieces and cutting her leg.

Mildred, who had now come through to the dining room and being equally as unsteady tried to help Saul, but made matters worse by trying to lift him up which sent both of them doing what looked like a dance but as they were heading toward the floor, Mildred grabbed onto the Christmas tree to try and steady herself, and in the process brought down not only the whole Christmas tree, on top of both of them and entangled them in lights, but they also upset the champagne glasses who broke and covered them in sprinkles of glass. The lights flickered on and off and the tableu would have been really comical with the some of the lights set to go quicker than others, as they accentuated their faces or parts of their bodies, but drips of blood gave a micarb look to the picture. They were both out cold.

'We had better call the paramedics, said Julia, in a panic, but first I think that you had better call the home, as you arranged to have them for Christmas dinner.

When Jack called, the matron was furious with him and said that Saul and Mildred had been looking so forward to the dinner, but now they had gone to bed. Jack explained about the people who James had picked up. The matron said that it was not her problem.

'You've been had, said the one paramedic as he untangeled the couple and attended to their wounds. This is Queenie and Long. They are homeless alcoholics and I would check that bag if I were you. They have been given many chances but they prefer to live on the street. Best Christmas they have ever had, I'm sure.

Mildreds bag, which Lucy looked though with surgical gloves on again, contained all the cutlery from the table, an expensive necklace and perfume of Lucy's. James's razor and a pair of cuflinks.

'We will never trust James to pick up anyone ever again', they all chorused in Unison as the paramedics put them into the ambulance

'Well if ever there was a dinner that has gone horribly wrong, this beats all of them,' said Lucy as she lifted the left-over bottle of wine to her lips and finished it off in one gulp.