Breaking News – Missing figures from Rijksmuseum

Reporter Daan Stamp

Reporting for Amsterdam Gazette

The world and this reporter are shocked to the core, with the breaking news announcement that certain figures are missing from the Rijksmuseum world famous collection. The Director of the Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam’s famous building and collection of precious masterpieces of art, Mevrouw Lembrandt, stood on the front steps of the building after calling upon the world’s press to make this groundbreaking news announcement today, this morning at 10:00, Amsterdam time.

Quoting Mrv. Lembrandt (no relation to our national hero Rembrandt van Rijn.) “We have discovered in the last twenty-four hours, that there are figures, and self-portrait figures missing from the museum’s masterpiece collection, for example, “De Nachtwacht” we have discovered; is missing characters, the central figures of Captain Frans Banninck Cocq (dressed in black with a red sash) and his lieutenant, Willem van Ruytenburch (dressed in yellow with a white sash). These figures are no longer present in the masterpiece – they are missing. We have also discovered that the self-portrait by Jan Havicksz Steen is missing from the piece of art. We have started an exhaustive investigation and are cooperating with the local police, and we are reaching out to the greater international policing and security community for assistance with this investigation.

“I would like to make it clear that the painting and framework are in place, only the figures are missing. The museum is now conducting an intensive audit of all the paintings and artwork of the Rijksmuseum on the premises, to understand if there are more, additional missing characters, yet to be discovered.”

“If anyone of the public has any knowledge or understanding of the whereabouts of these characters, would they kindly come forward to the police to share this information, and it will be handled in the strictest of confidence.”

“We thank you all for your understanding, but I cannot take any questions at this time, as I am urgently required now to continue this urgent investigation. I hope I have your cooperation and understanding.”

Like most people listening in the audience, this is shuddering news for the world. So many unanswered questions, such a sad moment for the world of art. How will this affect our famous and proud Rijksmuseum? If Rembrandt van Rijn and Jan Havicksz Steen were alive today, what would they be thinking? This is disastrous news for the world; could it be a signal from God, the day of reckoning is coming shortly, this reporter doesn’t have any answers, and hopes these missing characters can be found sooner rather than later.

Keep watching this space for further updates.

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“Well, what have you found, Detective Inspector.” Mrv. Lembrandt said in an efficient manner, the moment she entered the room, coming directly from the press announcement.

If you had never met Mrv. Lembrandt, you would believe her efficient manner was provoked by the recent drama about the missing characters, but you would be mistaken – she was always the same, purposeful, energic, listen to me, type of person. She demanded attention. She was the type of person that no one should take her questions lightly, no one should take her avid attention idly. In her worlds, whether business or personal she ruled with authority, her life had purpose, every second of the waking day was dedicated to an activity, one would wonder if this powerhouse of a human being needed sleep, replacement batteries or a plug recharge occasionally were more suitable to the drive and appearance of this authoritarian, officious, purposeful Director of the Rijksmuseum.

Mrv. Lembrandt was tall in stature, with her neat and practical cropped blond hair, which shone brightly as she entered the room, reflecting the overhead ceiling lights, her appearance was sudden, although everybody was expected her appearance, there was a slightly shocked impression on the faces of all the people waiting in the meeting room, any conversion ceased abruptly, as all their eyes were suddenly focused upon the arrival of the Director.

Mrv. Lembrandt was born in Amsterdam, she hardly left the city in her entire life. Tall, stout woman, she always wore trousers, rode those “Mary Poppins” style bikes every day from her house in the canal district of Amsterdam to her employment at the Rijksmuseum. Her legs pumping the heavy machinery of the bike to maximum velocity, with her stout fell walkers’ legs her calves pumping the large pedals of the sky-blue coloured bike, with its voluminous basket, carrying her briefcase, ringing her bicycle bell impatiently at fellow peddlers, and lingering pedestrians unfamiliar with the city pathways, if the bicycle bell could talk, it would be saying “I’m coming through, out of my way!”

She most certainly was a stereotype of the city of Amsterdam, and probably was related to the long-ago 17^th century civil defense militia named The Kloveniers which were a civic guard in Amsterdam during the Dutch Golden Age. Her tall profile and physique were a perfect fit for any type of defensive or security protection career. In her role as Director of the Rijksmuseum, she assumed the role of custodian of these masterpieces of art, she was the ultimate protector of Amsterdam’s treasures, and she took her role very seriously. The objects in the building were precious to her, as the treasures in her small dwelling in the canal district of the city.

Director Lemsbrandt sat down at the head of the long oblong meeting room table. The vacant chair had been waiting for her arrival. The moment she sat down, there was the noiseless sound of the starting gun, GO.

“So, what have you discovered?” It was the obvious question, and anticipated by all in the room, waiting for Mrv. Lemsbrandt’s arrival.

“We want you to look at the CCTV tapes from the camera adjacent to the “De Nachtwacht” the night before last at 02:35am, Madam Director.” Said the Inspector.

There was a vast array of monitors, and the black and white image of the hall that accommodated the masterpiece “De Nachtwacht”, suddenly came into focus, at the bottom of the screen was the date and time, milliseconds, and seconds were ticking over, the vast scene at nighttime as the canvas was shown on the monitors. Nothing stirred, all was still, and then suddenly the characters of Captain Frans Banninck Cocq and Lieutenant Willem van Ruytenburch suddenly moved. They walked and moved to the right of the canvas, and disappeared from the canvas, the still image of the painting remained in full view.

Everybody in the room gasped in surprise, even those that had witnessed the CCTV footage already.

The detective inspector stood up, and went to screen, the video operator based on rehearsals of the presentation to the Director of the Rijksmuseum, rewound and then paused the video footage, as the two characters were exiting the canvas to the right.

“We can rule out Google Pixel Eraser.” The inspector said with dramatic undertone to the statement.

“We can rule out abduction, kidnapping, the gentlemen are leaving the canvas of their own freewill.”

“Plus, we have made a preliminary review of the CCTV footage of the self-portrait of Jan Havicksz Steen, and we can see around about the same time that he suddenly disappeared from the canvas. We are having the audio part of the tape analyzed, but our first impression indicates that he was not abducted, but we can hear men shouting off canvas, and the sound of bicycle bells ringing. We have requested an expert to confirm our analysis.”

“How can this be?” Blasted Mrv Lemsbrandt.

“These characters have remained like statues for 400 years, why do they abscond now? I need answers; Inspector, and I need answers quickly.” she demanded.

“We have some theories Madam Director!” The inspector replied, but he was not so confident to share his theories with the Rijksmuseum Director without her permission.

“Yes…” she invited to proceed, with a wave of hand in impatience and disrespect.

“We think the characters have gone on strike.” He smiled meekly after the words came out of his mouth.

“ON STRIKE!” Mrv Lemsbrandt blasted out.

The entire room cowered in reaction to her outburst of words.

“How can these characters go on strike, when they all engaged and paid the art master himself; Rembrandt van Rijn, a handsome sum of money for the privilege to be painted and become an international treasure forever. It is an impertinence to propose such a theory, Detective.” She scolded the Detective like one would a naughty child.

“The Captain and Lieutenant were upstanding citizens of the great city of Amsterdam, they led by example, and had civic duties for the protection of the city and its citizens, who dare you think that these fine upstanding people would consider an underhand and frivolous activity like striking. Impossible, and it makes you less in my opinion for considering this as an option.”

The scolding was over, but so was the audience and presentation to the Director, the Inspector’s findings, there was nothing more for the Inspector to discuss. The entire room, after the scolding by the Director, could not look him in the face, he was already standing, he gathered his belongings, and without another word and with a sheepish look on his face, left the meeting room.

As the door closed Mrv. Lemsbrandt leaned over to her assistant, and spoke in a low whispering tone, so that no other person in the room could hear.

“Get down to Tweede Kamer Café on Singel, and see if anybody has seen these three, get the word out in the wacky-backy café district, strike indeed, it’s more likely they needed some weed time, with a double espresso. Go now!”

After her assistant followed the inspector out of the meeting room door, she turned her full attention to the remaining people in the room.

“Luuk please call Monsieur Chevalier of the Louvre immediately, and tell him what has happened here, tell him to check on the whereabouts of Mona Lisa, this could be a global pandemic, we can never be too sure.”

Luuk made an appreciative display of writing down Madam Director instructions, and then he departed the meeting room.

Mrv Lemsbrandt sighed, and then shared her thoughts with the remaining attentive audience.

“What is this world coming to IF you can’t rely on the characters, the subjects in a masterpiece painting. Art is a serious business – don’t they understand. Why now? For decades they have been still life, and now they abscond. I will get to the bottom of this, and it will STOP!”

Everybody in the room nodded in solemn agreement.