Once in a life time

I leaned over the balcony. Thunder in the distance on the mountains. The dam seemed so small and the forestry so beautiful. The sunset is really pretty from this angle. But as the darkness settles in I get lost in thought and sigh.

What is love? My teacher once asked me if I thought it's all rainbows and sunshine. I took my time to think. He told me loving someone is hard. He said if I truly loved someone I'd deal with all their nonsense. I'd have to be strong emotionally. And lastly I'd try to always be there for them. Crazy things we do for love.

2 years ago...

I met a someone... Very special. At least that's what I thought at the time. He was weird and goofy. Always managed to put a smile on everyone's face. In fact the first day we met was well... Interesting?...

It was my cousin's daughter birthday. i remember that I was quite sad that they cause everyone else could swim but me... I heard someone say hi in Korean but didn't spot anyone. I must've looked like a fool just looking around in confusion. Then I heard it again and spotted a boy in the blackish brown water of the creek next to my cousin. He was jumping up and down and waving like a mad man. Which made me raise my brow as if to ask what in the world? I walked over with the food in my hand to meet him probably should've put it down first. Not to worry! Nothing happened to the good food there was plenty.

I didn't think much of it at the time but I ended up really liking him. His cute smile when he unconsciously smiles and his laughter. There was something in his eyes besides the sadness. It's like there was a fire in it that burned ever bright. I asked god wether it was the right choice to love him...

But all I got was: "Wait and learn. You will know in time..." 

Not very helpful or satisfying. Or maybe... I didn't listen well? 

But what can I say it was fun. I don't regret my choice to stay by his side. There were times we had fun and laughed until we fell on the floor clutching our bellies. Other times we would ask each other for advice. Other times we fought because of misunderstandings. To the point where we ignored each other. Then as if nothing happened talk like there's no tomorrow. 

He did like me too. However at the time he lived under my cousin's protection so he was told not to like me. I do wish he told me that before and not a year after he rejected me. Could've avoided a lot of conflict and misunderstanding.

It was fun though and did hurt to get rejected but... Now it's pretty much gone just a bunch of good memories. But still now I think I've got God's answer. And I don't know what to choose...

I know his live isn't easy and he's trying his best so... 

Should I stay by his side and keep praying for him with all I have?

Even if it might hurt me in the end. But then again the scriptures are also so miraculous that they can heal any wounds. It's a good way to exercise my faith and be of help to him in some way.

Or should I just take the easy way out? Leave him and doubt him like everyone else? Don't risk getting hurt and just continue on with my life? However there's no drive to be faithful down this path. It seems easy but I don't think it satisfies me. 

Plus do I really wanna skip a chance where God finally approves my choice? It might be a once in a life time opportunity. Maybe it's a foolish decision but... I can't leave his side. At least not yet. Not when I know many people will leave and his greatest fear is to be alone in life. Not when I know the closest people to him doubt him and don't have lost faith. Yeah I think that's my final decision. I'll have no regrets. I hope.

The door behind me opened. I looked back to see my favorite little girl, Jasmine and Joseline. "Mimi, what're you doing out here all alone?", Joseline asked. " Oh it's nothing Joshy just thinking about something. Why are you two here, hmm?" I crouched in front of the two and ruffled their heads. "Your mom is calling you. She said you need to come eat", joseline said. I jumped up. "Okay, I'm starving! Let's go. What do you two want to eat?"

"Cake. I want cake. Can we have cake? Please, please?" Jasmine looked at me with puppy eyes. I laughed. "Okay, okay. We'll see if there's any cake okay?"

"Yesss! cake!" The two screamed in joy and ran back inside to the kitchen to get food. I laughed those two are my joy day by day. Like little sisters or daughters. Chaotic but cute. Plus they're willing to help me wash the dishes. As well as eager to cook anything like cookies, cakes and any other desserts or savory things.

~~ after we ate ~~

I felt Joseline push me. "Remove the jacket." She said removing my blouse. "Hey josy what're you doing. That's not a jacket." She took it and threw it with the other dirty clothes. "Now go take a bath. Your mom said you need to wear your dress cause your cousins will be here soon." The girl pushed my to the bathroom. "Hey wait! Jos! What about the dishes and Jasmine?" I protest against the younger girl. 

"It's fine! Just go, go. Me and Jasmine will take care of it. C'mon I wanna see your dress!" She still pushed me. "Okay, okay. I'll go. Lemme get my clothes and towel first."  I rose my hands up and went to take my stuff. I hummed a song in my head. 

~~ 2 hours later ~~

The red dress hugged my waist but flowed down the rest of the way. There were gold patterns on it. It wasn't bad. "Happy birthday!" My cousins said. Just dancing the night away. It seemed like they were nervous though? But why?

"Mimi! Look behind you!" I rose my brow as Crystal pointed behind me. I went out to the balcony then closed the door. I turned around and almost dropped my imaginary plate. He's here. Oh my gosh. Am I dreaming? Cause if I am don't wake me up! "No, you're not dreaming" he said. I squaled and ran over to him. He lifted me up when I hugged him. "Oh my gosh. You're here! You're actually here!" I said excitedly "You look prettier. Had a glow up?" He put me down. "Thanks. You look handsome too." I still didnt let go of the hug.

Since the door was glass they were spying. Crystal closed it putting her hands on her waist. "That's enough no more spying give them space" Everyone groaned and went back to their business.

"So you actually took my advice?" He asked me. I nodded. "I have to take your opinion in to consideration, right? Now How've you been? Still dancing and producing music?"

"Eh when I have time. But let's not talk about work right now. I need to pay attention to my princess." He said and pulled me in. "Princess? Where? I don't see one." I looked around playfully. "Right in front of me." He said and kissed me. 

Wait... It's night. Why do I feel sunshine on my face? I opened my eyes... And gape...

Wait... Was it... I look around my room. "A dream. It was all a dream. Noooooo. Whyyyyyyy? You gotta be kidding me." I punched my pillow and threw it. I sighed and stood up to take a bath.

I walked in to the dining room. Some were at the table eating while others were watching Tv. I took a plate and put some food. As I walked in the balcony I spotted Scot. "Oh... So it wasn't a dream?"