Act of Freedom

If you have the talent and the mind to join us, this will be your chance to achieve your dream…

The words of the group of performers echoed in her head as fifteen-year-old Julia gazed at the show poster that they had sent. The group of travelling performers, who came once every season to their village, putting on shows of fantastical stories for the children, has, for the first time in twenty years, invited people to join them! Ever since she was little, Julia always loved their shows. The sight of the actors performing—their passion, their joy, and their stories, make her feel so alive! If she could take this opportunity, she might really get to be one of them, she thought as she wistfully ran her fingers over the pictures of the performers, and, closing her eyes, pictured herself on that stage among them, living the story, while kids below clap happily for their performance…

“Julia!” just then her mother called, startling her out of her daydream, “Come to dinner! It’s rude to be late!”

With a reluctant sigh, Julia put away the poster and did as commanded, knowing that a shower of scolding would greet her if she dared to disobey. She trudged down to the dining room and sat down at her seat. None of her family noticed her demeanor and continued talking carelessly.

“Those silly performers,” remarked her mother, “Did they really think they can fool any kids into joining them?”

“Yeah,” agreed her father, “Those idling fools claim to be ‘inspiring people.’ Ha! tricking kids is more like it!”

Julia cringed as her parents criticized the travelling performers. They do not understand how much she admires the group. To her, the travelling performers inspire hope in children and encourages them to dream, something that parents do a terrible job in. They had never liked the group of performers, Julia knew, and thus she never told them about her dream—to become a travelling performer herself, so that they cannot dash it, which they certainly would.

“And the show they put on are childishly dorky,” added her elder brother, Warren, who never hesitates to say mean things as long as he thinks it makes him look cool. Julia glanced at him in dismay. Disappointed in her parents, she had once tried to confide in him about her dream to perform, but he just laughed at her and said it was babyish and ridiculous. Since then, she had never told another person about it since. She couldn’t help feeling anxious. This may be a once-in-a-life-time opportunity, so is it finally time to reveal her secret dream?

“…Anyway,” she heard her father say, “Our kids won’t be joining that, I guarantee it.”

That was the last straw. Julia, finally making up her mind, set down her spoon and stared at the group. “I want to join the travelling performers,” she announced decisively. Getting her feelings out in the open made her feel good, but she sure didn’t enjoy what came afterwards.

A moment of silence commenced, and then her brother burst out laughing.

“You?...Want to…Be a performer? HAHAHA!” said Warren, laughing as loudly as if she just told the funniest joke ever. However, her parents did not join in his laughter, and when Julia replied, “I’m serious. It’s my dream,” they frowned.

“Get that stupid idea out of your head, Julia,” said her father sternly with a condescending manner, “You are not joining such a ridiculous thing.”

“But…” protested Julia, but her mother interrupted her.

“Your father’s right,” she said, “Performing serves no purpose. It doesn’t give you anything to sell, nor does it grow you any food, and therefore it can’t help you make a living; besides, your will never act well enough, no matter how you work. Those people are happy fools, too rich to care about other, more practical things.”

“That’s not true! You know I can act! Besides…” said Julia, standing up, intending to explain that some members of the travelling performers were poor AND happy, but again, her parents’ voice drowned hers out.

“It’s for your own good,” added her mother.

Julia felt her heart burn with rage. Her parents have always dictated her life for her, claiming it’s all “for her own good,” and her brother had unfortunately picked up the idea that she can’t think for herself. The fire of resistance within her had burnt out long ago, but this was the one dream she had ever had. Desperately, she realized that she must get her parents to see her sense. She had backed down enough.

“For my own good?” she countered, raising her voice in a way she hadn’t done in a long time, “SINCE WHEN WAS CRUSHING MY DREAMS FOR MY OWN GOOD?!”

“Now, Julia,” said her father, raising his voice as well, “Don’t speak like that. You have no clue about the cruelties of this world. You cannot…” but Julia cut him short this time.

“CAN’T THINK FOR MYSELF? CAN’T SURVIVE BY MYSELF? THEY PERFORM ALL THE TIME AND THEY’RE SURVIVING JUST FINE!”

“Or maybe that’s what they WANT you to think!” countered her mother, “They go out of their way to fool kids into believing that life is all dreams, and fun, but it isn’t.”

Julia was about to argue further, but her father spoke up.

“Let me be clear, young lady,” her father said sternly, “No daughter of ours would participate in a profession that lives off of illusions and lies. You will continue your life as is and never speak of this again. End of discussion!”

Julia sank into her chair and fell silent for the rest of the meal, annoyed but knowing it was completely useless to argue. Once her father says “end of discussion,” that was that. Nothing she says could ever change her parents’ mind.

Alone in her room that night, Julia thought back to performers’ offer. Since she was young, her parents have always run her life. She had let them, as they never threatened anything she really cared about, but now, they were about to ruin her great opportunity. The travelling group of performers have always come to her village, staying one week every season and then moving on, but they have never invited anyone to join. Taking out the poster from her drawer, she gazed at it. She cannot stand by and do nothing while this great opportunity slips by her. She’s done with letting her parents control her. She lay down on as a plan began forming in her head…she cannot be herself at home…so why not leave it?

The next evening, she hurried home from school with an unusual rush—she was on a mission! She had things to do to ensure the success of the plan she worked out. She ran into her room and dumped everything out of her backpack: her books, pencil case, worksheets—she’d probably not need any of those, since, by running away from home, she would be leaving school. Then she proceeded to pack everything written on a secret list she prepared. Her hands shook a little as she placed the poster in her backpack along with everything else. Tonight, she would be leaving this house forever. The travelling performers would be packing their equipment and would leave by 3:00 in the morning. She had calculated the time carefully, knowing that she would have less danger of being caught if she left with them at the last minute. Thus, after dinner, she set down her backpack it its usual place beside her bed and lay down to wait.

The waiting unfortunately gave her time to second-guess herself, which she had not done so far. Part of her was proud of herself for actually taking such a bold step to defy her parents. Part of her wondered if her parents were right, and that she cannot make a living through performing. She knew she could act, but is she good enough? She could still turn back now, she thought, glancing around her room, give up this wild notion and let things go back the way they are. Let things continue the way they have been, her parents dictating her life, her brother laughing at her, suppressing her dreams…

No, she reprimanded herself. She cannot turn back now. She’s made up her mind.

Peering at her clock and seeing that it was time, Julia quietly got out of bed and slipped on her coat, and, slinging her backpack over one shoulder, tiptoed carefully downstairs and out of the building. It felt exciting to rebel, even though she had some doubts. This was the first time she had ever tried to just, be herself, without bothering about what anyone else thinks. The night was quiet, except for a few occasional owl hoots. Julia walked in high spirits below the canopy of stars above her head.

As she came near the area where the travelling performers camped, she, relieved to see that they haven’t decided to leave early, although that is unlikely, ran forward to greet them. They stared at her in surprise. Not a single other person from their village had joined, she noticed. Taking the poster from her backpack, she took a deep breath and said, “Hi, I’m Julia, and I want to join.” They seemed taken aback at first, but then one of the older girls said “Welcome to the group! We’re on our way to the next village, and we just needed to pack up a few more things before we go. Come on!”

Julia nodded eagerly and went to help, and before dawn, they were far from her home.

“Hello!” said a voice to Julia the next morning. Julia opened her eyes to see a girl about her age staring at her.

“Oh, Hi,” Julia responded, sitting up.

“I was unloading the truck and saw you sleeping up there.” The girl giggled, and then turned serious as she introduced herself, “I’m Amelia by the way. What’s your name?”

“My name is Julia,” Julia replied. Then, noticing where she had been sleeping—on top of a pile of stage sets, she grinned too.

“Come on, Julia,” said Amelia as she took a heavy object from the truck and headed out, “We’re doing practice in a few minutes.”

Julia hopped down from where she sat and followed Amelia into the bright sun outside, where the other performers are already setting up. Julia joined them in unloading the truck, and setting up tents where they would sleep the next few weeks. After everything was set up, the actors formed a circle around the stage, which was a platform set up in the center of the camping area; and a bald, middle-aged man came up to the platform. “Okay everyone,” he said, “Listen up! We’re going to rehearse The Enchanted Forest, as that’ll be the first show we perform in the next village, and then tomorrow we will try something new.

Wow! How amazing! Thought Julia. The Enchanted Forest is about a girl born in a poor and uncaring family, who one day, followed a few pixies into an enchanted forest, where she would go every day, and every night would discover that she brought back a new power with her. It’s one of Julia’s favorite shows, and she has pretty much memorized the entire script by now, since it is performed at her village at least twice a year. How lucky that this would be the first show they rehearse!

The man looked at each of the actors in the circle before his gaze settled on Julia. “Why don’t we begin with the newcomer?” he said, handing her the script. “Come up to the stage, Julia, and start at page ten.”

Though eager to try performing, Julia hesitated. A feeling of fear welled up within her. What if she couldn’t act well enough to stay with them? What if she embarrassed herself?

“You could never make a living out of it,” she remembered her parents say, “No matter how you work.” Their denial held her back like shackles, choking her passion. How can she be herself? How can she perform such a hopeful show, when all she feels is her parents’ doubt weighing heavily on her heart?

“Where…where…are you taking me…little pixies?” she read the script, stuttering it, “To your home, …um…world?” Why is she doing that? That had never, ever happened to her before! But she had never been so nervous before. Perhaps it was the fact that these people perform so well, and she wanted to live up to their expectations—that, on top of the fact that her parents’ cynicism made her doubt her ability to do so. She looked at the performers who were staring at her intently, expecting them to judge her, to stop her, but they didn’t.

Eventually, her turn was over, and Julia breathed a sigh of relief as she finally stepped off the platform. She knew she did poorly, and that she might have blown her only chance to stay with these awesome people.

Please don’t kick me out, prayed Julia as the others rehearsed, give me a second chance.

At last, when all the others have finished, the man came to the center again and said, “Good job, everyone, as always.”

Then, the man, turning to look at Julia, said, “As for you, you barely did good enough for the first time, but I suppose you will get good fast with practice.”

Julia nodded with relief before she turned into the tent, still feeling down in the dumps. Within the tent, Julia thought back to her lackluster trial performance that she gave. Now that she had a taste of the more practical and risky side of performing, she couldn’t help but wonder whether her parents were right, and that she cannot be good enough to make a living out of it. As she did so, she could almost hear her brother’s ruthless laughing and her parents’ apathetic scolding “I told you so!” A tear of frustration tumbled out of her eyes.

Just then, the curtain to the tent was lifted, and a stream of sunlight shone into the tent. Amelia came in.

“Hi, I’ve been looking for you,” said Amelia. Then, noticing her expression, she added, “Are you okay?”

“Not really,” replied Julia.

Amelia looked at her understandingly as she turned to pour some water. She handed one glass to Julia, then took the other one herself as she sat down beside Julia.

“You’re not in the mood for this, are you?” asked Amelia, nodding to her costume.

Julia shook her head.

“What’s bothering you?”

“I’m worried,” replied Julia. She went on to explain how she got a poster and wanted to join, how her parents considered performing useless as a profession, how her brother laughed at her and her parents reprimanded her for her dream, how she had finally decided to stand up against them. “I knew I was done letting them control my life,” she said, and then finished with how she ran away from home and came to them. Amelia was a great listener, never interrupting as she told her story.

“Now, after what had happened, I’m worried,” concluded Julia, “What if my parents were right? And that I can’t make a living out of performing after all?”

Amelia thought silently for a moment. At length, she said, “Hmm, you told me you have had enough of having your parents control your life, right?” As Julia nodded, Amelia continued, “But it seems like that is still what you are doing.”

“What?” asked Julia, confused, “But I’ve run away from home?”

“But you’re still letting their opinions affect you, aren’t you? They kept you from performing well today.”

“I…I guess so!” With a start, Julia realized that despite running away from home, she never got away from her parents’ control—they’re still keeping her from achieving her dreams! “So what should I do?” she asked Amelia.

Amelia smiled encouragingly and said, “You’ve made up your mind, so don’t let them change it. Work hard to prove them wrong. And practice—that always gives you confidence.”

During the next two weeks, Julia practiced all she could. Remembering Amelia’s advice, she tried to forget her parents’ influence and enjoy her new life and the stories she practiced performing. “The trick is to try to feel what your character feels,” Amelia had told her.

Finally, by the end of the two weeks, the man, the leader of the group, gathered everyone around the platform again and spoke, “Good work, everyone. Tomorrow, we’ll move on to the next village, where we will perform The Enchanted Forest, as usual, and then the new show. You’ve all grown a lot. Especially you, Julia. You’ve grown quite a lot from your first day with us. You’re ready.”

“Excited to perform?” Amelia asked Julia after noticing her smile.

Julia nodded, still smiling blissfully. Then she added, “Thank you, for helping me come to my senses about my parents’ opinions, and giving me all those acting tips.”

“No problem,” replied Amelia, smiling back. As they continued to load the truck, Julia was hardly able to contain her excitement. It seemed like with a little help from Amelia and a lot of practice, she was finally going to achieve her dream!

The next day, Julia peeked out from behind the curtains. A group of kids have gathered in front of the platform, waiting with growing eagerness to see the show. She recognized the anticipating look on the faces as the one she had whenever she watched the shows performed. Now, she was going to take part in producing it. When it’s time for her to step up and perform, she would perform from her heart, set herself free, like Amelia told her, and not worry anything. Now she smiled as she glanced at the group of children, and then at the sets onstage. She has finally proved her parents wrong.