Alexander Summers Doesn’t Exist

Alice worries her lips as she twirls in front of her wardrobe mirror, beads of perspiration forming upon her forehead. The skirt doesn’t sit well on her hips. And her hair is all over the place. And her lipstick shade is really unflattering. And nothing is going as planned!

She’s anxious. She’s angry. She’s hungry. OMG! I’ll go crazy before the night ends!

And frankly, she’s nervous.

Alice looks at herself in the mirror again and can no longer see the confident thirty year old woman she’d been when the morning began. She’s back to being the shy seventeen year old high schooler she once was. 

Scared but excited to meet her high school crush.

And all because Alex Summers had texted her that he’d love to meet her at their high school reunion that night.

Alexander Summers. The dream boy from 2008 with curly hair and brown eyes and lips to die for. Her high school sweetheart and the only boy she’s ever truly loved. 

Her only true heartbreak.

She bites her lips as she watches her nervous reflection in the mirror, so scared of judgement. So scared of another rejection. And for a second wonders if she should just skip the reunion after all.

But one look at the tiny heart locket sitting at her dresser and she’s determined again. 

Because it’s been more than thirteen years since she and Alex broke up, and she’s still not over him.

It’s been more than a decade since he moved on but she’s still hung up on him.

Because when they broke up it was all swear words and heartbreak and somewhere in the back of her mind, Alice knew that it wasn’t easy for Alex either.

Because she hasn’t seen him since they broke up but she can still feel his lips pressed upon hers on lonely nights and it’s almost like she’s seventeen again.

So, she clenches her teeth and decides to give her outfit another try.

Decides to give her old high school lover another try.

By the time she arrives at the party, the hall is almost full. She greets some of her old classmates that had still kept in touch with her. And waves off those that chose to keep their distance. And all the while, her eyes continue scanning the room for that one person.

But Alexander Summers is nowhere to be found.

She watches the guest board filling up again with returned invitations as more and more of her classmates enter the party and anxiously awaits Alex’s entry.

But he doesn’t come.

She thinks back to what he had said on the phone, “I’ll meet you in the main hall, Alice. Gosh! It’s been forever since we’ve spoken.” His voice had been a little different from what she’d remembered, but she figures it must’ve surely changed over the years. 

Alice remembers all the times he’d sung for her and all the sweet nothings he’d whisper into her ears after a kiss. And she remembers how on their final goodbye Alex hadn’t said a word. 

How he had just kissed her and walked away.

She sighs watching the entrance get filled with all her classmates and their family members and wonders why Alex suddenly remembered her. He’d avoided her well all these years already, but now he suddenly wants to meet?

She’s excited but the sudden change in heart doesn’t sit well with her. It’s so… unlike the Alex she remembers.

And soon the guest board is full.

Alex Summers’s name sitting somewhere in the bottom of the “Arrived” guests section.

Anxiously, she scours the place, searching for the brown eyes. Or curly hair. That gentle smile. Or anything at all even remotely resembling the boy she had fallen in love with.

But Alexander Summers is nowhere to be found.

Alice sends him text messages and tries to even call the man. Heck! She even tries to ask around for the guy, but he’s nowhere to be found. It’s like he’s vanished from the face of the earth and even the thought of that leaves a bad taste in her mouth.

She decides that he either didn’t make it. Or he’s probably avoiding me…

Dejectedly, Alice slumps down into the bar seat and orders a shot of vodka when a woman makes herself comfortable in the seat beside her.

“Hi, Alice,” she says but Alice is in no mood to entertain the young lady. Alex Summers bailed on her again. She’s heartbroken again and only vodka can cure the aching in her chest. “Alice?” 

She turns to give the woman beside her a stink eye but finds herself at a loss for words.

Because… there’s something… weird about the woman. She’s pretty, of course, but also… weird?

It’s not like she’s never seen a pretty woman before but something about the lady is just… striking. Like she knows the woman. And even as she thinks that, Alice cringes at the cliché scenario in front of her.

“Do I…” she bites her lips again, frowning as she tries to put a name to the face. “Do I know… you?”

The woman smiles, almost forlornly, and looks away at the question. As if nervous or embarrassed by the inquiry. And Alice immediately regrets asking such an insensitive question.

Argh! I’m being so rude! Shit! Fuck you, Alex Summers! You’re making me be mean to people now!

“I’m… I’m sorry, I didn’t…” she tries saying, “I didn’t mean to sound rude. I just… I’ve had a long day. And… I barely attend reunions anymore. So—”

“It’s Alex, Alice,” the woman says, cutting her off mid speech. 

And now she’s really, very confused. 

She frowns at the woman fidgeting in front of her. At the woman who’s exuding nervous energy like a radioactive ball of uranium. And nothing makes sense anymore.

“You’re…” she tries forming a coherent question but finds herself unable to. “Huh?”

“I’m… I’m… I’m Alex Summers, Alice,” the woman says. Her eyes dodging the question in Alice’s eyes. “I’m… I’m your ex-boy…” she groans, a single tear trailing down her cheeks. Biting the inside of her cheeks as she forces herself to explain. “I’m… your ex-lover. I’m Alexander… Summers.”

“What are you talking about? Alex is—“

“I did the surgery, Alice!” The woman groans at her words, yet again cutting her off. She runs a shaky hand through her ruffled curls and something pinches in Alice’s heart when her brown eyes meet her own.

Because she’s seen those eyes on someone before. Someone she’s been in love with since highschool. She’s seen those eyes on someone completely different though.

Alice continues staring at the woman in front of her. Speechless wouldn’t even begin to describe her feelings. She’s conflicted. Confused. Angry. Annoyed. Betrayed.

But mostly, she’s sad.

Because Alexander Summers, her highschool sweetheart. Her ex-lover. The boy she'd fallen madly in love with during high school; the boy she is still very much in love with. Hasn’t come. They haven’t met.

And looking at the woman in front of her she knows…

She’ll never meet him again.

Because Alexander Summers doesn’t exist anymore.