Time to smile again

Funny how weather changes so quickly and suddenly. One time, the sky is painted with the vibrant colors of azure and yellow, the sun rising through the horizon-a picturesque, picture-perfect moment. Then without warning, the sky darkens and thunder rumbles. Torrential rain comes crashing down in a deafening roar-almost like it’s laughing at how weak and helpless you are-and very soon, a flood forms, a wave of destruction, washing down everything in it’s path, leaving nothing but sorrow and quietus. The flood were my tears and the weather is my life.

It’s really hard and burdensome when your mom and twin sister dies and you’re on the run when you’re five years old.

“Daddy,” I mumble and bury my head in his leather coat.

He always used to smell like fragrant spices, but now he smells malodorous, like something that came out of the graveyard. But to be fair, I wouldn’t know what a graveyard smells like. I’d never been to one, not even to bury Mommy and my twin sister, Syrah. I’m sure their bodies are there somewhere, long-forgotten from the world.

Daddy shoves me away. I stumble back, blinking hard. He peers at me with his big, brown eyes. They once held kindness and love for me, but now they were empty and lacking light.

Daddy tousled his beige hair which had been uncombed for a month. Since the day we were on the run. Since the day Mommy and Syrah were murdered.

“Get in the car Lily,” he says roughly.

His tone made me shrink away. I remembered him as the loving dad who gave me too much chocolate, who tucked me in bed with Mommy, who always smiled at me as if everything I did overjoyed him. Even when I cried or yelled, or threw tantrums- I can’t even contemplate about doing that anymore.

I know I need to stay strong for Daddy. But would he stay strong for me?

People always said I talked and acted so much older than a five year old, but now I felt like a septuagenarian. Gray streaks in my auburn hair would’ve fit nicely.

Daddy escorted me to our car. We’d been living in our car for a month now. Bathroom was a major problem. Taking a bath was unquestionable. Man, I missed taking a bubbly bath-what a luxury!

Anyway, our car wasn’t diverting to glance at. It’s beat-up for one thing, tail lights fragmented, rust rested comfortably on the body side moulding and trunk, windshield wipers were inoperative, the fenders had monumental crack in it from when an old grandma (probably blind) had scraped her car against our car (country side friendliness, I suppose) and the radiators were close to breaking down, which would definitely get us turned into a delicious, burning barbecue (seriously, is there a prize for the world’s ugliest car?). Gosh, the car looked downright evil.

I hope the car doesn’t come alive and eat us for a yummy snack, I thought fretfully. My obituary popped up in my mind: Lily Alonso, 5, died a tragic death when her car huffed and puffed and gobbled her up.

We got in our car and settled down. Daddy didn’t come to fasten my seatbelt and tell me we were going on a magical adventure with a colossal grin like he used to. He didn’t do a lot of things like he used to. Did he even love me like he used to?

So, I’d to struggle to fasten my seatbelt by myself. 

I chocked back a sob when I saw the yellow smudge near my seat.

A year ago, Mommy had made a special Mac n’ Cheese dinner-in-car for me. Instead of being grateful for it, I’d purposely spilled it and yelled that I hate Mac n’ Cheese. Now it filled my body with shame. I wished I could go back in time to eat all the Mac n’ Cheese and hug her, and tell her how much I loved her. I wanted Mommy to be back with me.

My gaze traveled to the empty spot where Syrah’s car seat had rested. I wanted to play ‘PIRATES’ with her in our backyard and I wanted her to tease me about how huge my feet are. If she came back, I would let her have the pink doll with blonde curls we always used to fight over.

I could see Syrah and Mommy again-but only in my nightmares.

Daddy floored the accelerator and we sped up. As we distanced ourselves from the bustling city, I glimpsed fragmented blurs of families bustling around, laughing and talking-I hoped they knew how lucky they were. To live a normal, happy life. I knew it wasn’t perfect, but it was better than nothing. I scrutinized at their facial expressions when they laughed. Their mouth curved up and a happy sound erupted. I tried to copy them, but my facial expressions probably looked like a ugly sneer and the sound that I expelled sound like a pig honking, which only succeeded in Daddy giving me a ‘are-you-crazy’ look. I flushed crimson. Of course, I knew how to laugh. I’d accomplished it innumerable times, but now I think my willpower to execute it had crumbled. One month of grief and despair can really turn someone’s life upside down.

I returned to scan the city. Most of the people looked happy-what I wouldn’t sacrifice to feel that way gain. If a golden retriever can look happy, why can’t I? I felt like my dark mood would morph into a vile lightning bolt and strike them all the people into heartless zombies.

Soon, lush slope hills with spontaneous trees occupied the verdant land and I could smell a hint of country air. I scrutinized at Daddy, even with blazing sunlight, his face looked shadowed and haunted, like he was replaying a horrifying memory. I knew what he’s reliving. My mind wandered there numerous times too, but I tried really hard not to.

Please don’t go there. Do not go there, I commanded my mind. But my evil mind is horrible at taking orders from it’s boss (me, obviously) so the flashback started anyways.

Daddy, Mommy, Syrah and me were sitting around our wickedly expensive mahogany dining table. I was being my usual jerky self and grumbling that homemade pizza tasted horrible. Then, my complains were drowned by the uproar of glass shattering. Syrah screamed and Mommy and Daddy sprang to their feet.

Four people dressed in Stygian fitness suits which concealed their bodies, evil-looking cloaks that draped over their shoulders and black masks that obscured their faces (need to blend in much?) barged in our dining room. Before I could examine them more, Daddy shoved me behind him like he was my own personal bodyguard and I heroically hid behind his legs. Mommy did the same with Syrah.

“Who are you?” Daddy demanded. “You can’t be here. This is private property!”

Evil Guy Number One, Evil Guy Number Two, Evil Guy Number Three and Evil Guy Number Four laughed on cue-it would have been a perfect bad-guy-entrance movie scene, but this is real. What was even more petrifying was that their laughs had malice laced in it.

Evil Guy Number Two said,“We can be anywhere we want.” His voice almost sounded friendly, but if you concentrated really hard, you could tell it was concealing something dark and sinister behind it.

“No you can’t! Get out before we call the cops,” Mommy yelled. Me and Syrah share a stunned look. Mommy’s usual friendly tone had been replaced with the fierceness and protectiveness of a mama bear who’s cubs are threatened-it was quite intimidating actually, but the Evil Guys were unfazed.

“Now, now,”Evil Guy Number One cooed, as if we were naughty children who needed to be taught a lesson-it was infuriating! “There is no need to cause any trouble. Give us the children and no one will get hurt.” Evil Guy Number One extended his arms as if he were asking for cookies, not children.

Syrah gave me a petrified look, but the way Mommy’s and Daddy’s eyes blazed with hate and rage, it was clear they weren’t going to cooperate. They appeared like they coved they knew some lethal karate moves to hit the Evil Guys where it really hurts.

Daddy’s tone was low and minacious when he questioned, “Are you serious right now? Do you really expect us to do that? Who are you? And why do you want our children?”

“We’re deadly serious,” replied Evil Guy Four. “We expect you to do that or the consequences will be immense. Who we are isn’t crucial and we require the kids because-”

“HEY,STOP!” Evil Guy Number Three yelled at Mommy and when I gazed at her, she was typing something hastily in her phone. Understanding came crashing down at me like an icy shower-Mommy is calling the police and the Evil Guys had caught her.

“STOP!” Someone yawped, but it was to late.

A resounding female voice came from the phone. “Hello, this is Officer-“

Evil Guy Number Two lunged at Mommy, snatched the phone from her and ended the call. Ended our only hope of getting out of this alive. A sob slipped before I could restrain it.

“RUN!” Daddy screamed as the Evil Guys started advancing towards us. As if we needed encouragement. Daddy entwined his fingers with mine and we attempted to race out of our suburb house.

Who are they?

What do they want?

Why us?

“STOP THEM,”one of the Evil Guys roared.

When I thought things couldn’t get worse, they did. Shots rang. Agonized screams shattered the air. Two bodies hit the ground. I sucked in a shaky breath and spun around. Mommy and Syrah were on the floor, inanimate and still, blood seeping from deadly puncture wounds. Dead.

No, no, no. This is NOT happening.

“You shouldn’t have hit the girl, you fool!”

Noises blurred together, my knees buckled and I weeping too hard to notice my circumambients. I sucked in a raspy breath. Mommy and Syrah wouldn’t want me to break down. No, they would want me to stay strong.

I looked at Daddy. He was frozen, eyes glazed over and mouth hung open.He seemed to be in shock. “Daddy,” I say. No response. All we needed was a cricket chirping. So I attempt a divergent approach. “Daddy, Mommy and Syrah would want us to escape. So we do that, okay?”

He glanced at me and when he met my pale blue eyes, he set his jaw and nodded at me. We intertwined our fingers once again and sprinted towards our ajar back door, but they Evil Guys were still gaining on us. The world felt cold and meaningless. Then, the Evil Guys terminated pursuing us, but I can’t say I relaxed. I would definitely not be inviting the Evil Guys over for a play date.

One of the evil guy yelled something that vaguely sounded like an address. Daddy sucked in a breath. I caught Evil Guy Number One’s next words. “I’ll give you one month and half before I come hunting for you. Bring the girl to the address I apprised you and you’ll live the life of an emperor. Fail me and you’ll abominate the consequences. And don’t you dare call the cops. I can hurt you more.”

“LILY!” The stentorian voice startled me out of the atrocious flashback. “Did you hear what I said?”

“Sorry, no. What did you say?”

Daddy sighed wearily, like he’s sick and tired of me and that made it a little hard to breathe. It’s not just hurtful, but…What if he actually considered handing me over? What if he’s considering it right now? After all, he could possibly live a life of an emperor. But Daddy wouldn’t betray me…right? A month ago, I would have been dead sure, but from the way he’s been acting, I’m dutiable.

Daddy informs gruffly,“ I said we arrived to our destination. Get out of the car.”

I departed the car and gandered at the circumambients. We were parked near a run down building covered in graffiti and part of it was crumbling ,making it appear like an aqueduct, but it still loomed over like a depressing, haunting shadow. The atmosphere was motionless and hushed. There were no people around that I could perceive. The place screamed, ‘You will die here and enjoy haunting the building for the rest of you life. Mwahahaha!’ That was a ridiculous conception but-YIKES! I really wanted to eat pizza once more before I died.

A gale filled with torrid sand and dust swirled around me. The sunlight dimmed, the sky rumbled and cast a stormy, eerie look. The thought was silly, but it felt like the weather was encouraging me to scram. And the fact that my conscience was informing me that something was wrong. Very wrong.

“Daddy? Why are we here?” I ask.

Daddy was inspecting me, his face solemn and his eyes shattered with guilt-wait, what?

Someone behind me started clapping, making me jump“Well done. I really didn’t think you had it in you, Mr.Alonso,” the voice congratulated. The voice of Evil Guy Number One, the voice that haunted my nightmares. No. No. It couldn’t be. Daddy would never….would he? 

I spun around. The Evil Guys towered over me, looking as wickedly evil as ever. “Hello, poor little girl. Are you happy to see your doom?” 

I’m shaking all over now. From terror, but mostly from hurt and an immeasurable sensation of betrayal. Somehow, Daddy had set this up.

I commence to back away, only to slam into Daddy’s chest. I look at him, waiting for him to tell me this is all an astronomical misunderstanding. Daddy touches my cheek, whispering, “I am so sorry. But I have to do this. I have to let you go.” His voice cracks.

Before I can react, I feel Evil Guy One’s arms wrap around me. I scream and kick and sob, but there’s no use.

Evil Guy Number Three approaches Daddy and hands him a sable suitcase. “Five million as promised.”

“DADDY!” I scream but he never looks at me and hurriedly departs to our-no, HIS car. Like he doesn’t care about me at all.

Something inside me explodes. Not physically, but mentally. If Daddy cares about me this little, then he isn’t my Daddy anymore. He’s a man who I share my DNA with and he’s a man I hate. After all, blood doesn’t make you a family. Loyalty does. Love does.

Suddenly, a sweet smelling cloth, probably a drug, presses down in my nose and I loose my consciousness.

After a while…

I’d two nightmares. The first one was about wicked witches flying around my head, attempting to shave me bald. The second one was about Daddy betraying me.

I rub my throbbing head and groggily sit up. It’s darker that usual and the odor of must and metal lingered in the atmosphere. I rub the sleepiness out of my eyes and stare at my circumambients. I’m lying on a freezing, hard masonry flooring and in dark, unventilated cell. Reality comes crashing down at me and a tear trickles down my cheek. My nightmare is real. Not the wicked witches flying around my head, attempting to shave me bald, but the part about Daddy betraying me. I curl up in a ball. I thought I would weep, but rage and betrayal were the only crucial feelings that churned in my stomach.

“Hello?”says a girl’s tinkling voice.

I scream and scramble back. Two girls about my age come into view. The first one had abbreviated askew rufescent hair, green eyes and a face that makes her look like a chipmunk. The second one has a sweet smile and black plaits.

“Zosia,” the red-head girl introduces.

“I’m Davina.”

I stare at them with wary eyes. They look friendly.“Lily.” 

As soon as the word left my mouth, I started sobbing. And the floodgates opened, there was no restricting it. Zosia and Davina embrace me. Usually, I don’t allow strangers hugging me, but hey, they were locked up concomitantly, so we were in this together.

Zosia divulges that she got abducted when she was in foster care and Davina imparts that her stepmom handed her in too.

I don’t know how long our arms were around each other. It felt like a hour.

Suddenly, sirens began to wail nearby. Davina smiles, “We called the cops. It was harder than we thought, but we finally did it. Don’t worry. They’ll be here soon to rescue us.” My eyes brighten.

Zosia whispers, “We made a promise to ourselves that we would be anyone’s family who arrived in this cell.”

“Me and Zosia are sisters. Not from DNA, but from friendship. Will you be our sister?” They offer me their hand.

That’s not a question a five year old asks somebody. But we aren’t ordinary five year olds. We’ve been through a lot. We’ve felt like we’re carrying the world on our shoulders. We understood each other’s grief and sorrows. I didn’t want to admit it, but I’m afraid to trust. I couldn’t just say yes-what if they disappointed and hurt me just like Daddy did? But there was something about these two sweet girls. We were together here for a reason. It felt like we were meant to be together. But I still couldn’t say yes.

The girls must’ve recognized what I was thinking, because Davina says, “I know everything is going way too fast and I understand your wariness. But me and Zosia have been betrayed and disappointed. We know what it feels like to be hurt.”

Zosia adds, “We promise we won’t let that happen to you.”

That crumbled my resolve. I took their offered hands. I say, “Okay. I’ll be your sister”

It’s time to smile again.