The Guardian Angel Project

Being designated to a human is no easy task. To excel it, you have to be properly trained by the Angels Unity and Rearing Agency, popularly known as A.U.R.A. 

Most myths tell that angels were born this way, beautiful and mighty. No, most of us start training as younglings, being injected a serum early on. I wasn’t new to this world when they injected the cold liquid inside me. I can remember vividly what happened.

Simply telling the side effects don’t cover up to half the brutality that is this process. The feeling of being split in half and wishing you would just disappear. Hearing your bones breaking and reconstructed over and over again. Waking up burning in sweat and shaking violently.

I remember how many angels couldn’t take it anymore. I was one of them, but I tricked myself. ‘Just do it one more time’ ‘This will be over soon.’ Eventually, this would be the truth. 

The others with me asked the Board what was happening to us. They never answered. Time passed, and most of them forgot how painful it was. All of them did. Except for me, I never forget. 

Still, I wasn’t bitter. The serum meant that we could transform when we needed it. I could be whatever I wanted. 

That’s where the idea of ethereal angels comes in, how we mold ourselves to be perfect. It’s unfair how humans dismiss the sacrifices we made to be this way. 

However, transforming is much more than appearances. After the serum, we can’t feel pain nor bleed like humans, so it wasn’t bad at all. 

Although we weren’t done yet. We had a lot more to do.

We still had to contribute to the research process and tag humans so we can observe, listen, and locate them. They knew nothing of this, and they didn’t have to know. We weren’t doing anything wrong. 

Besides, if I didn’t contribute I would be discharged. 

I heard of humanless angels once. How they were exiled and solitary. I didn’t want this to myself. 

And angels can die too, when we do we turn into stardust. It’s a celebration here because it means our reserves of serum are being restored.

I thought all of this was worth it back then, but when it was all finished, I asked myself what was this for. It felt empty, knowing that no one would outlive me, while I was stuck here for eternity. I was more dead and alone than both of them combined. And there was nothing to commemorate, just this blank feeling. I wondered if the other angels felt this way. 

Then, everything changed when I was assigned to my first human. When we met they were still a blob, you could barely call them ‘something’. How could their parents love this? I certainly couldn’t.

Still, Marissa and Carlos Diaz loved them even before they were born. They loved their child so fiercely it made me want to understand this feeling. 

I won’t lie, I also grew attached to them. I started to look forward to all the checkups and all their discoveries about them. When the first kick happened and when they found it was a girl. I was there when they made a list of names. 

Suddenly, the list became a war. Marissa wanted Connie and Carlos preferred Lizzie. They kept arguing until they realized that the baby was supposed to keep them together, not lead them to these stupid fights. After this moment of clarity, they decided to watch Marissa’s favorite movie, a musical called Plastic Memories. She watched it so many times I think she knew the lines by heart. 

Her favorite character was the protagonist, a lively and smart woman called Hanna. She has to live with adversity and proves that life can be beautiful wherever you are. 

Carlos remembered this and in an attempt to put an end to their conflict, he suggested ‘Hanna… How about Hanna?’ Marissa was wide-eyed and answered a soft ‘I love it’. Then, Hanna it was. 

The first lesson I received about humans is that they have two names, the ones we give them and the ones they give themselves. In their language, Hanna means ‘grace’. In ours, it means nothing. 

Names are a luxury we can’t stress, they always repeat themselves. So we gave her this code number so she could always be identified. Her code is KBI-809. 

Working as a guardian angel didn’t mean I had to constantly surveil them. Even so, I was completely invested in their lives, because I was curious. I wanted to see them thriving. 

That’s why I was watching when they had another checkup. 

I saw Marissa lying on the stretcher and I saw the face the doctor made. I started to shiver. It seemed as if Hanna’s parents didn’t notice the entire change in the doctor’s demeanor. They didn’t know what was coming. 

‘Mr. and Mrs. Diaz, I am concerned about Hanna.’ Marissa sat stiffly and Carlos held her hand. ‘What is it, doctor?’ They answered in unison. 

‘I saw something unpleasant on the ultrasound and I’m…’ he paused, trying to figure out how to break the news ’I’m afraid she might have a heart failure.’ The baby’s parents looked at each other. They could start crying anytime now. 

‘Of course, we won’t be completely sure until she’s born-’ This was it for Marissa, she started to sob. Carlos hugged her and told her that weeping would do no good for the child. 

Now they had bigger problems than choosing their child’s name. 

After they both calmed down, the doctor resumed ‘After she is born we will need to run a radiography, and perhaps we might have to – in one of the worst cases – perform a surgery.’

‘How much does it cost?’ The doctor turned white. ‘If it is what I think so, approximately 28,223 dollars.’ 

Marissa started to cry again ‘How are we going to pay for this? We don’t have this money!’ the doctor tried to answer but he kept stuttering. 

Then, Carlos realized there was no answer. They couldn’t pay for this. The only thing they could do was to wait and expect a miracle, so he hugged Marissa until they were left alone in the room. 

It was an already lost battle. Now they only had borrowed time with Hanna. 

It was a sort of unspoken agreement that they would continue to live on with this until they couldn’t. Still, they were scared the baby wouldn’t make it. 

I was scared too. 

Scared that we would never get to see Hanna’s face, that we would never know whether she resembled her parents. That we would never see her first smile or hear her first words. It was unfair.

But what was I expecting? Life is unfair. 

How many people lost their loved ones? How many people are sick? How many people die? How many people don’t even get to live?

I never thought I would end up mourning for a girl I know nothing of. 

Thankfully, I never had to mourn. Quickly, I realized that Hanna is a fighter. It was the first thing I found out about her. 

While they knew it was risky, Marissa and Carlos kept going, and they continued until February 28. 

When a human is born it is a costume for us that everyone comes to see it together. Of course, countless children are born every day, so we only have to watch our quarter’s births. 

Last week it was Range, and as I remember, Mabel’s human is giving birth in March and we promised we would watch it with him. 

‘The girl is sick, right?’ Boots asked and I nodded. ‘Do you think she’ll stay alive for long?’ ‘I certainly hope so.’ After this, we stood there, watching the event unravel. 

Going to the birthing center was interesting, to say at least. 

Marissa tried to go to the bathroom and suddenly it happened. Her body started to push and as she made her way to Carlos, Hanna’s head was already beginning to come out. At the car, she repeated to herself ‘DO NOT HAVE A BABY ON THIS CAR!’ ‘Think of happy things!’ Carlos advised. ‘Like what?!’ ‘I don’t know!’ ‘Sing to me!’ 

Carlos started to sing Hanna’s theme song from Plastic Memories, and what was supposed to be a cute moment was terrible, because he was tone-deaf. So, Marissa started to bawl her eyes out. 

When they arrived at their destination, Carlos stole a wheelchair and wheeled her into the closest room. 

Thankfully, she had a few minutes to lie down and wait for the doctor. 

The other angels were laughing nonstop, but I couldn’t give afford to giggle with them, I was worried sick. I went to a dark corner to catch a breather and suddenly it was as if the world was muted. 

On February 28, Hanna was born dead. She was ripped out of her mother’s womb and no sound came out. I was strangled by the silence, it made me sick. 

Some part of me believed that Hanna would be able to fill the hole in my chest, that she would make me change my mind. 

I was foolish because my second lesson was do not – in any circumstance whatsoever – catch any type of feelings for your human. 

The 2 minutes and 27 seconds that she didn’t cry made me feel more misery than a lifetime. 

So when she cried when the air entered her lungs for the first time, I cried too.

She was frail and tiny. Still, she was mine. No other angel could have her, no other angel could ever have what I have. 

No one dared to talk to me after this. They just stared me with eyes full of pity. After checking that Marissa and Carlos were fine, I left to my room. 

Completely alone, I looked at the night sky. It was painted with endless stars, and even though they seemed far away I knew that reaching them would be easier than reaching Hanna. 

I knew it was illegal, my job was to make sure that she wouldn’t escape her destiny and not whatever this is.

But what was her fate? Maybe I should ask the Board about it, perhaps Nova would give me an answer. 

This thought didn’t cross my mind again, because the next morning she would do radiography to find out what she has. 

The doctors have a clue. They said that the blue tints in her skin and nail clubbing were symptoms of Tetralogy of Fallot, a rare condition caused by a combination of four heart defects that are present at birth. It has no known cause and has a slightly preoccupying mortality rate. 

Her parents had no money, they couldn’t afford anything as expensive as this. I had to do something, hence I created an excuse to leave Imber and descend to Earth. 

I didn’t have much time to plan and everyone trusted me. Why wouldn’t they? I’m an angel. 

I met no one as I walked to the Board, only stopping when I saw a blond hair ahead of me. 

‘Shall I ask what you are doing here Dynamo?’ ‘Hello, Nova’ I answered confidently 

‘I need to go to the Earth to solve an issue.’ I was nervous, still, I believe she didn’t notice it. 

‘What issue, may I ask?’ being in her presence was cold, she always gave me this detached feeling. ‘I believe there had been some interferences with the signal, I need to check on my human.’ ‘Very well, you have my permission.’

As I started to walk away I suddenly stopped. ‘Can I ask what is my human’s destiny, Nova?’ When she didn’t answer I knew our conversation was over. 

I didn’t go where I was supposed to. I went straight ahead to Nova’s office. I knew a thing or two about her. She tends to go to the main saloon whenever she makes a tough decision – and what just happened could easily classify as such. The others told me it’s about showing that she is unbothered. I say it makes her predictable. 

I got a drop of her blackhole capacity potion, this should be enough for me. I didn’t bother enough to replace it with something useful, so I used water. 

I arrived at Earth as a bird, a raven, specifically. I drank the potion and immediately no one could track me. I didn’t exist for all they could tell. 

I fled to a charity that helped sick children and ‘accidentally’ dropped an article with Hanna’s name – her parents were trying to contact everyone capable of helping. It wasn’t a big gesture, but I knew enough of human’s affairs to know it would work. 

I came back before anyone could miss me. Not like anyone in fact would, and the only person I cared about couldn’t know about my existence. 

I was glad that I did this, because her surgery was a success, and she finally had the chance to grow up. She was kind, easy to love. She sticked for the underdogs and talked back to bullies. She also always wore a smile that lit up the world. 

No one suspected me, perhaps the charity help was bound to happen because everything seemed normal. If not, they would find out soon. 

I was thankful, this meant I could be there for all the good moments, always watching. 

I heard when she said ‘momma’ for the first time, and when she walked her first steps. I saw her fall in love with the violin. 

But I was there for the ugly ones too. I felt pain when she fought with her parents. And when someone shamed her for the color of her skin. 

Hanna was awfully beautiful, it was insane how she could believe them. Her blue tints complemented her dark skin and made her look stunning. It was clear to me that this other child knew nothing. 

Still, she was taken aback. Hanna even stopped going outside for a while. I and her parents worried about her. We knew that her condition was no reason for shame. 

And I was furious too. She was what I was proudest of. Being assigned to her gave me a force I didn’t know I had inside of me, how could she think about herself this way?

I went to Earth again, this time, without telling anyone.

I changed my form again, it wasn’t what I was used to but I didn’t bother. Angels don’t have a real skin, we are genderless creatures that appear as they wish to. 

And I appeared as a cat, her favorite animal. 

The drop of the potion was still enough and I wouldn’t do anything that might alter her fate terribly. 

I never talked to her, she just petted me. And eventually, with my help, she got over her fear. But as the sun started to shine we received the news she was getting worse again. 

At the age of fifteen, Hanna had to have a second surgery, simply because the world wasn’t ready for her heart yet. 

Right after hearing the news, Nova called for me. 

‘Your human is going to die. Just wanted to give you a heads up.’ I made no expression and nodded. 

It was a common occurrence, they aren’t eternal. It’s simply the circle of life. 

And there were no funerals here. After the death of our humans, we get assigned a new one, with no ceremony. But Hanna deserved one. No, better than this. Hanna deserved to live a long, happy life. 

I couldn’t fathom what I was feeling. Still, I knew I wouldn’t let her die, so I made my last visit to Earth. 

I waited for the day of the surgery when she would finally be gone. 

This time, I didn’t care for hiding. I plan to get Hanna and go somewhere safe. Somewhere she’ll get to grow old. 

I know I was being selfish, that what I was doing to not only my kin but also her parents was unacceptable. And even so, what would be her reaction? She didn’t even know me, how could I convince her to come with me?

Now was the time I would reveal my true form as an angel. That I would gather all my power – the one that Hanna granted me – and save her. 

I flew over her deathbed and called her. 

Hanna, my Hanna. She looked beautiful asleep. 

They gave her a second name so she could always be identified. It made no sense to me, for she was the only one. 

I gently stroked her face. No would could see what was happening. 

She opened her eyes slowly. I wondered if she would feel scared, or worse, repulsed. 

But she smiled. ‘I know you, I knew you existed’ my eyes widened ‘My guardian angel, you were always with me.’ I cried as she did when she was born. 

‘How do you know?’ I asked. ‘Because I never forget’ was her answer. She gave me a shark-like grin. And, with my eyes still wet, I realized I’ve been outsmarted. 

No, I couldn’t believe this was happening. But then I looked at the other side of the room and saw Hanna’s actual corpse, they knew.

‘This was a test Dynamo’ Now I recognized Nova’s voice ‘And you failed’.

I had no answer. 

‘You tried to deceive us by escaping the algorithm. At first, you got me, I was surprised. Still, deep in our hearts we always knew you were different from us.’

‘I swear I won’t do it again! I’m sorry for everything! Nova please.’ I begged her. 

‘You’re weak. You are a shame to our species and to everything we believe in. You will never escape us, you are simply too predictable’. 

The last thing I saw was Hanna’s face.