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Adventure Suspense Thriller

This story contains themes or mentions of mental health issues.

      The barely legal tinted Challenger made everyone in the vicinity anxious. Not-so-subtle glances and obvious peeks were shot in the car’s direction from miscellaneous windows and partially open doors.

            Despite all this, Asura walked confidentially to the car. His smile glistened through his hairy and unkempt face as he entered the car.

            Not a single smile was present on the faces of the officers, all of whom were strongly against Asura’s release. He had been locked up for 2 years on some petty theft charges.

            With each confined day, Asura taunted the other inmates and even cops about the day that he would be free. He chanted. He sang. He yelled. Anyway he could remind people he was only here temporarily, he did.

Word about his release became a nation-wide controversy and many people thought it was dangerous and stupid to give Asura a second chance to living among normal civilians.

“Deranged” is what they called him.

“Monster”

“Inhumane.”

He had thought patterns not even seen in psych wards. He seemed to only act on intrusive thoughts. He was respected out of fear. Fear of the lengths of his very-real delusion.

            The driver revved the engine disturbingly loud and sped off joining the road at an illegal speed.

Releasing someone like Asura may as well been the same as releasing Joker into the city.

But they had no Bat-Man.

            “Where we goin?” Asura asked ignoring the car’s seatbelt beep, beep, beep, beep.

“Where would you like to go?” Amon asked as he looked back on the road.

            “Let’s get sumna eat?”

            “Food?” Amon asked humorously.

            “You think they were chefin’ it up for me and my felon friends every night?”

             Amon didn’t appreciate Asura’s sarcasm.

            “You didn’t have friends in there.” He replied to scratch the petty-itch. “But I know you well, so I know exactly where to take you.”

“Better not be McDonalds or some crap?” Asura grunted with an attitude.

Asura straightened in his chair. He liked to carry himself like he was better than everyone else. He liked to dress meticulously. To pick up Asura, he wore tan joggers that matched perfectly with his Balenciaga’s. A crisp, white shirt with Japanese-style art. The fresh length of his braids hung out of the edges of his white durag.

“Is it at a bar? I could really use a drink.” Asura suggested.

“Not tonight. Every bar in the city is going to be waiting for you to walk in. News of your release has reached every TV.” Amon explained. “Tonight, we’ll be going somewhere no one is going to touch me, spill a drink on me, or poke at my temper. However, if someone does force me to the extent, I will shoot them in the left eye.”

A smile creeped on Asura’s furry face.

            Asura was out of the car quickly. He leaned hard, stretching his abdomen before approaching the diner.

            One by one, heads began to turn. Amon swaggered in. He picked a booth he liked in the middle of the restaurant and slid into his seat.

All eyes shifted to the waitress who walked out from the back to approach the lovely new guests.

Her legs quaked and lips quivered as she slowly attempted to make her way to the table.

Amon read her nametag as she got closer.

“Evening, Dorothy.” He greeted her. “It’s my friend’s first time here.”

“What’s y’all’s best options?” Asura interrupted.

Dorothy was frozen.

“Well, our breakfast is most popular.” She said still with a dry throat. “That includes our four-stack waffles or pancakes, three strips of bacon, two sausage links, and scrambled eggs.”

Her voice was shaking and cracking.

“I’ll take that.” Amon said eagerly.

Dorothy struggled but found her voice again.

“Wh—which one?” She asked.

“Oh, those were all separate?” Asura asked with a laugh. “I’ll take all of them, baby. If it’s the most popular, I gotta see for myself, don’t I?”

Dorothy turned quickly.

“Such a sweetheart.”

“And gorgeous too.”

Dorothy pushed the doors open and almost stumbled into the kitchen.

She stayed back there until the food was ready. Then after getting herself as mentally prepared as her worries would let her, she brought all three plates out to the drooling man.

“Anything else I can get you?”

“Did I say a strawberry shake too?” Asura asked her. “I don’t remember. You?”

Dorothy’s gut screamed.

 “I—I’ll get it for you right away.”

She turned and darted.

“You’re so kind, thank.” He called after her.

She came out quickly with a large strawberry shake and sat it and the top of the table.

Asura was starting his second plate.

“Your service has been more than great; you have a good night.” Amon told her.

Lightheaded, she turned around and headed to the back.

“So, I was thinking.” Amon whispered to Amon. “Did we make the best decisions when we did what we did?’

Asura stuffed a bacon strip in his mouth and picked up his last waffle, folding it in half. He dipped it in his shake and took a big chomp. His eyes rolled back in satisfaction.

“Huh?” He said and chugged what was left of his waffle-crumb filled shake.

Asura wiped the corners of his mouth, stood up, and headed for the door.

One of the chefs pushed past Dorothy peeking through the kitchen door.

“Excuse me, you can’t leave un—” He had only taken one step out before he stopped talking. The ringing in everyone’s ears stopped, their eyes turned to the front doors. Amon had done a one-eighty and stood there, arm up with his gun in hand.

The chef laid in a puddle of his own blood with his left eye missing.

Dorothy was in shock. She stared at the empty middle table and slowly made her way over to it. Not only were the plates stacked neatly, but under it were two small stacks of money.

She picked up first stack and realized it was the exact charge for the food. Then she picked up the second stack and it was the exact change for a twenty percent tip. 

            “Any plans for tomorrow?” Amon asked Asura.

            “Why the hell would I have plans? I don’t even know what day tomorrow—”

            “Our birthday.” Amon interrupted.

            “Oh.”

            There was a brief pause.

            “Oh!” Asura continued. “In that case, we should visit our friend, James.”

“James?” Amon repeated with disgust.

“I’m sure he knows I just got out. We should surprise him. Ya know, in memory of our being, or whatever.”

Amon could smell the violence Asura was suggesting. And he was up for it.

“OK, we’ll visit him in the morning.” He replied. “Let’s get a motel for some sleep though.”

Captain had personally driven to the diner to witness the atrocity that happened directly because of a decision that was made just three hours prior.

His phone and radio had been going off nonstop and he had been in contact with almost everyone in his call log within minutes.

He breathed deeply over and over and over again.

He was able to create a small calm space in his mind to think clearly.

He dialed a number from memory.

It rang twice.

“Captain Barry? It’s too early for—“

“Mary, you still in the hospital?” Captain interrupted.

“I’m grabbing my stuff to go home now. Why?”

“I need a favor. Can you get me some information before you leave?”

“There’s an open investigation, you have clearance to come in and get most of that information yourself.”

“I’m too far and have no time to make it there tonight. I just need you to check some records for me. Can you help me? Please?”

There was a pause followed by a deep sigh.

“Thank you.” He said.

What do you need?” She said seconds later.

“I need information on the man that released just hours ago, you know which one.”

OK.”

Minutes passed and Captain spent anxious seconds pacing and biting on the nail on his thumb. He held the phone pinched in between his ear and shoulder, listening to the typing of keys, and ruffling of papers.

That’s weird.” Mary said under her breath.

“What is it?”

A couple seconds of typing and clicking.

Tomorrow, July twenty-third, is his birthday.

Captain was stunned.

“That’s strange. Why would they let him out a day before his birthday?” Mary complained. “That just doesn’t feelright.”

            “OK, Mary listen. I need an immediate update on his last psych examination. I need to know when the last time his brain was examined.”

            The typing speed doubled and fought audibly back and forth with the violent clicking.

            Then it all stopped. Mary was reading. She was making Captain jittery.

            “Oh, this is bad. It has been stated that Asura, for sure, has developed a fully functioning personality he now acknowledges in his own reality. He physically sees and interacts with this new personality.”

Captain grabbed his phone and held it against his ear with his hand.

“He was found referencing an Amon when speaking to himself and tried hard to hide it from others.”

Captain was already running back to his car.

“Does it quote anything he said? Any examples of the things he used to say to Amon?”

His phone was pinched in between his ear and shoulder again and the car’s engine roared to life.

“Unfortunately, he did a good enough job keeping his conversation quiet. A name was the only thing a few of the guards were able to get.”

“He wasn’t talking. He was planning! He knows exactly what he’s doing next. And whatever it is, I don’t think we’ll find out in time to stop him. We just have to be ready to chase whatever trail he leaves.”

“So, I wasn’t supposed to do this.” Mary started. “But I read some of the older records not pertaining to the case, and I found out something creepy.”

“What?” Captain asked, speeding left and right through the other vehicles on the road.

“Asura was supposed to be a twin, but his brother died in the womb. Only one was born successfully.” She stuttered. “He killed the other one just weeks before birth. Only Asura was ever born. I need to throw up.”

Captain immediately hung up and dialed another number from memory.

The phone rang and rang and rang and rang.

No one picked up.

“Requesting immediate backup.” He said into his radio.

            The motel room was as spotless as when Amon had checked into the night before. He exited the room and entered the driver’s seat of the car.

            “Ready to visit James?” He asked.

            The first rays of the sun had just began to touch the sky.

“Finally, some action.” Asura replied.

When Amon pulled into the neighborhood an hour and a half later, he stopped at the house with the Benz and Tahoe in front.

Asura picked the lock on the front door while Amon made sure to keep an eye out.

Passed the kitchen on the right and living room on the left. At the end of a short hall, Asura slammed his palm on the door, pushing the frame off the hinges and dropping to a loud wham!

“James!” He shouted too excitedly.

James jolted, and as soon as his eyes adjusted, he sprung reached for his nightstand.

A fist reached his face first, breaking of bones in his nose and knocking out a couple teeth.

“Did you tell someone, James?” Asura asked with blood on the knuckles of his hands.

The woman in his bed screamed and fell off the bed with a loud thud! Then she proceeded to run out of the room.

James denied all accusations and pleaded for his life.

“People are talking, James. Amon knows. And Amon is always right.”

“Asura! Please! I was your therapist! I’m legally not allowed to—”

Asura stopped listening sent a hard backhand.

/There was a distant crashing sound followed by rushed, loud footsteps.

A few cops flew into the opened room.

The fist cop was immediately snatched and, in that same second, placed on the floor with a broken neck. A bullet entered the next cop’s right ear and perfectly out the left. There was another single gunshot, but the last man heard two bodies hitting the floor behind him.

The last man was Captain. And everything happened so fast, by the time he looked back at James, the man was kicking violently in the bed with a sheet tied around his neck with the ends of the sheet around the bed posts.

He took one step forward and the cold barrel of a gun kissed his temple. 

“Drop the gun.” Asura ordered him.

He stared as the body in front of him flipped and flopped. James hands had been zip-tied behind his back, making an escape impossible.

“Drop the gun.” Asura repeated.

Captain took notice that he held the gun up with his right hand and placed his left hand was behind his back. But he knew Asura couldn’t be hiding another weapon.

He knew he was being held at gunpoint by Amon.

Captain lowered his gun to the floor slowly, dropping it beside one of his dead officers and standing back up even slower.

“Listen, Amon, we can help you.” He suggested.

Amon froze.

“Captain, do you need backup?” His walkie shouted.

His eyes met Amon’s. Slowly Captain moved his hand up to his walkie.

“Cap, we’re coming in—”

“Stand down.” He commanded. “Wait for my order.”

Amon lowered his gun and stood right in front of Captain. He studied his face for a second. Thick mustache with a terrible attempt at a beard. He looked weak. Weak, but desperate to show his importance. His value, if he even had any. Amon looked at the ceiling and let out a dramatic and judgmental chuckle. He lowered his sight back to Captain and stopped smiling.

“How are you here?” Asura barked. “My friend James told you, huh?”

“Asura. Introduce me to Amon.”

Captain was sweating. Yet cold. The blood in his nose had begun to pool but he knew better. He desperately attempted reasoning with Asura in hopes to at least stall long enough for backup to arrive.

He could already hear the beautiful ring of sirens in the far, far distance.

“I wanna meet Amon.” He repeated. “I’ve heard so much about him.”

“I don’t care what you’ve heard about me.” Amon replied. “Your opinion has no importance.”

Before Captain could offer a reply, Asura began to speak.

“You here to arrest me again?” He questioned.

His eyes pierced through to Captain’s. From Captain’s perspective, Asura’s eyes were dark. So dark, they seemed hollow and deep with emptiness. Like something else had fully taken over. Asura was not gone, but he wasn’t there either. Like a body stripped of its soul.

He could no longer tell who he was talking to. Staring at.

But whichever one it was lifted the gun and swung it, slamming it against his temple.

He felt like his eyeballs shattered. And for that split second before his vision faded to black, through the slits of his almost-closed eyelids, he could’ve sworn he could see two separate people standing in front of him.

Captain’s eyes opened and he gasped and grasped along the bedsheets wrapped around his body. Multiple hands grabbed him forcing him back down. He struggled and struggled and let out a bone chilling scream.

“No, no Captain. Relax, you’re fine. Open your eyes.”

Captain recognized the voice. He stopped struggling and his eyes opened slowly. He squinted and blinked as his eyes got used to the light. When his pupils adjusted, he realized that he was in a hospital. On a hospital bed.

Beside him were two officers and his wife.

He was confused and felt distant. He felt like he was the only one lost in the room.

“Baby.” He whispered weakly to his wife. “Why are we here in the hospital? Are you OK?”

She stared at him and cried. She bawled her eyes out until she could finally speak.

“You were in a coma.” She replied between disrupted beaths.

“Coma?” He repeated, shocked. “What? For how long?”

She didn’t answer. She just cried and cried more.

Captain looked at the officers.

“A couple months.” One said.

Four months.” The other one added.

“Four! Months?” Captain asked. “Asura? Did we catch him? Tell me we had the whole house and neighborhood surrounded. There’s no way they got away. Not from so close.”

Neither cop was eager to respond.

“What happened?” He asked finally.

Another hesitant second.

“Since his release, he hasn’t slowed down. People are beginning to despise local police. They want him caught on some real charges this time.”

Captain closed his eyes hard.

“Besides the witnessed and surveillance footage of the diner murder, a couple other things have happened since then too. The problem is just finding him.”

Captain felt a chill fly up his spine. Something strangely felt familiar. The air seemed heavy and almost-tense. He recognized the feeling. And it was growing. Getting closer and closer.

He struggled to breathe properly and felt the heaviest layer of fear he had ever felt in his life. It was a strong feeling of evil as he had once felt months before.

“Baby?” His wife stated. “Baby, what’s wrong? Someone get the nurse now.”

One officer rushed out of the room and returned seconds later with a nurse following behind.

The nurse closed the door behind him and turned around, facing Captain.

“Hello Captain Barry.”

Captain had heard that voice before. It belonged to the same person that put him into a four-month coma.

He looked at the nurse and immediately was completely submerged under the heaviness he felt. Still, he was unable to tell which one of was standing in front of him, but he was certain he was staring at the face of Death.

July 20, 2023 16:48

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4 comments

Kylie Payne
01:28 Jul 29, 2023

I loved the imagery of this story. It was really easy to picture the scenes in my mind. I think there are some grammatical things that would be easily corrected with a simple reread/edit. The end of the story leaves more questions than anything. Are Amon and Asura not actual humans? Are they two separate beings? How is the nurse involved with them? And, as it relates to the prompt, it's hard to tell exactly which facade has been dropped. Overall it's a really mysterious story that does leave me wanting to learn more!

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David King
16:51 Aug 03, 2023

I LOVE that you could follow a visual mentally as you read along! That makes me feel so proud of my writing lol. (I'll make sure to correct those errors haha). For clarification, Asura is a normal human, just like you and me...only he is severely mentally unstable causing his mind to create another being that he feels can relate to him (like an imaginary friend...but impulsive and criminal lol). A good example I can think of is when they went out to eat right after Asura's release. Even though Asura recollects Amon firing that gun, it was ac...

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07:14 Jul 27, 2023

This story is really intriguing and keeps you guessing, but the ending was a little unclear to me. I end not knowing if the captain has gone mad, the nurse is in disguise, or if Amon/Asura like possesses people. Maybe you want it unclear, it’s just what I noticed.

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David King
16:38 Aug 03, 2023

So Asura and Amon are the same person; while Asura is more of the "face" everyone knows, Amon can only be seen by Asura. He's sort of a figment of Asura's fragmented mind state. The captain, however, is dedicated to capturing and putting Asura away PERMANENTLY so "both" Asura and Amon make sure to get rid of him. When Asura find out the captain's in a coma, he keeps tabs to make sure when he wakes back up, he's there. Hopefully this clears up the things I was a little hazy about. I'm glad you like the story and I'm REALLY glad to hear that ...

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