Are We There Yet?

Submitted into Contest #209 in response to: Set your entire story in a car.... view prompt

34 comments

Happy Creative Nonfiction Holiday


Are We There Yet?


Caution: Not intended as a horror story though circumstances may be horrible.

Circa: 1963

Conveyance: Puke-green V-8 Oldsmobile sized more like yacht rather that roller coaster; built before seat belts were ever discovered or children's safety devices were devised. Still questionable whether it would hold all the proposed cargo.

Occupants: 6 children ages 5-15 including two 'big girls',Thelma 'n Bette; Bruce, aka 'Bruiser', 'the little ones' Robert, aka 'Chopper' (something cute he said when he was two) and Debbie; plus one extremely intelligent and charming middle daughter, Mary, currently sporting snot-green glasses frames and swollen purple and yellow nose (refer to 'Public Speaking in Fuzzy Bedroom Slippers' Reedsy entry #205); one over-wrought Dad, aka 'Hon', more concerned with listening to his favorite baseball team, Cardinals, once again after living a year in Cubs Country; one much over-worked Mom, aka 'Dear', who spent three days packing every conceivable need for six kids and one sometimes grumpy husband for a six-hour trip and three day stay at Grandma's two-bedroom house. (No Micky-D's in every town, either.)

Projectory: Southbound three hundred miles slicing through center of Illinois on US Route 51 before interstate system fully developed. Only one of former truck-driving Dad's many exploratory routes he chose to treat his family to during these horrendous trips over the years.


“Mo-O-o-m, Bruce is kicking me again.”

“Bruce, please don't pester your sister. We have a long way to go still and your dad can't concentrate on the road with you two fighting the whole way.”

“But she isn't giving me any space.”

“You've got the whole back window to stretch out and lie down in. I am squeezed between the big girls over the hump and all this stuff in the wells. I got no place else to move. Stop poking me!”

“I want to sit up front between Mom and Dad.”

“Well, you can't. Chopper is there and Debbie is on Mom's lap. Stop belly-aching.”

”Behave, Kids. Maybe we can make some readjustments next time we stop for gas. When do you think that will be, Hon?”

“Considering we have only been on the road for fifty miles it will be a long time. Try not to kill each other back there, okay. Don't make me pull this car over. You'll be sorry.”

“Can't we listen to the radio so we can sing along?”

“No, Thelma, I am waiting for my Cardinal game to start.”

“Why don't you play that traveling game you like so much, Mary. You know where everyone has to name what they are taking on the trip and add it to whatever everyone ahead of them said keeping it all alphabetically correct.”

“Oh, we've done that so much and it can get boring. Anyway Chopper and Debbie are too young to keep up with it.”

“Hey, that's right, Bette. And that sounds like Mom is trying to make it educational. We are supposed to be on vacation. I don't want to have anything to do with school. Yuck!”

“Okay, Bruce, just for that remark you can make it an extra challenge by adding an adjective to the object that starts with the same letter.”

“Yeah, Bruce, I dare you. Bet you can't remember everything.”

“Well, I don't want to get stuck with the X. Who is gonna start?”

“Bette, where do you think we should be traveling to?”

“How about Grandma's house?”

“And Thelma, what mode of transportation are we taking?”

“How about a roller coaster.”

“Now that sounds like fun and very similar to what we are doing. I'll start and we can only take animals, okay?”

“Okay, Dad! Bette and I will help the little ones go as far as they can or want to go.”

“I am going on a roller coaster ride to Grandma's house and am taking an ambitious armadillo. Dear, you're next.”

“I am going on a roller coaster ride to Grandma's house and am taking a bashful buffalo and an ambitious armadillo. Thelma help Debbie. Here, she's crawling over to sit on your lap.”

“Say 'I am going on a roller coaster ride to Grandma's house'”

“Going ta Grandma's on roller ride.”

“And am taking a colorful camel...”

“Colorful camel.”

“Bashful buffalo...”

“Bash buflo.”

“And an ambitious armadillo.”

“Ambi armado.”

“Oh, this is gonna take a while.”

“That's kind of the idea, Thelma. Bette, just have Chopper add a 'd' name and it can be your turn.”

“Chopper, what do you think of a dotted Dalmatian? Say: Dotted Dalmatian, colorful camel, bashful buffalo and ambitious armadillo.”

”You say fer me.”

“Okay. I am going to Grandma's on a roller coaster and am taking an epileptic elephant, a dotted Dalmatian, a colorful camel, a bashful buffalo and an ambitious armadillo. Mary.”

“I am going to Grandma's on a roller coaster and I am taking a ferocious ferret, an epileptic elephant, a dotted Dalmatian, a colorful camel, a bashful buffalo and an ambitious armadillo. Bruce.”

"I am going to Grandma's on a roller coaster and am taking a gigantic gerbil, a ferocious ferret, an epileptic elephant, a dotted Dalmatian, a colorful camel, a bashful buffalo and an ambitious armadillo. Mom.”

“Oh, boy, this is harder than I thought. I am going to Grandma's house on a roller coaster and I am taking a hump-backed horsefly, a gigantic gerbil, a ferocious ferret, an epileptic elephant, a dotted Dalmatian, a colorful camel, a bashful buffalo and an ambitious armadillo. Hon, back to you.”

“You expect me to remember all that and drive, too? I think it is all going to tumble off this old roller coaster ride. Who wants to add an ignorant iguana to the list for me?”

“I will, I will.”

“Thanks, Bruiser. Go for it.”

"I am going to Grandma's on a roller coaster and I am taking an ignorant iguana, a hump-backed horsefly, a gigantic gerbil, a ferocious ferret, an epileptic elephant, a dotted Dalmatian, a colorful camel, a bashful buffalo, and an ambitious armadillo."

“Looks like Debbie is sleeping, Thelma, your turn.”

“I am going to Grandma's on a roller coaster and I am taking a juggling jaguar, an ignorant iguana, a hump-backed horsefly, a gigantic gerbil, a ferocious ferret, an epileptic elephant, a dotted Dalmatian, a colorful camel, a bashful buffalo, and an ambitious armadillo. Bette and Chopper.”

“We are going to Grandma's riding a roller coaster and taking a knitting koala, a juggling jaguar, an ignorant iguana, a humped-back whale, no wait, horsefly, a gigantic...a gigantic gerbil, a ferocious ferret, an epileptic elephant, a dotted Dalmatian, a colorful camel, a bashful buffalo and an ambitious armadillo. Mary.”

“You almost messed up, there.”

“Come on, I've got Chopper helping. What happens if someone messes up?”

“Oh, I don't know. Maybe they have to finish the rest all by themselves?”

“I hungy.”

“How close are we to our usual road-side picnic table rest stop for peanut butter sandwiches, Hon?”

“Oh, probably a couple more additions to the zoo we've been loading.”

“Hurry, Mary.”

“Give me a second, Bruce. Where were we?”

“Knitting koala.”

“Fine. I am headed to Grandma's on this wild roller coaster and am taking a loose-lipped llama, a knitting koala, a juggling jaguar, an ignorant iguana, a humped-back horsefly, a gigantic gerbil, a ferocious ferret, an epileptic elephant, a dotted Dalmatian, a colorful camel, a bashful buffalo and that ambitious armadillo that started it all.”

“Good. I am going to Grandma's on the family roller coaster and I am taking a masquerading monkey, a loose-lipped llama, a knitting koala, a juggling jaguar, an ignorant iguana, a humped-back horsefly, a gigantic gerbil, a ferocious ferret, an epileptic elephant, a dotted Dalmatian, a colorful camel, a bashful buffalo, and an ambitious armadillo. There! Mom.”

“Well, I only have one question.”

“What is it, Dear.”

“Are we there yet?”







August 03, 2023 16:10

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34 comments

Chris Campbell
03:18 Aug 04, 2023

Yeah, the horror of bored kids. 🤣 I found myself trying to complete the song. Got up to "Yellow Yak" and quit. Great memory game.

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Mary Bendickson
04:22 Aug 04, 2023

I should research an x solution but z could be zany zebra. What was your q? Anyone else want to play?

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Chris Campbell
04:26 Aug 04, 2023

A Quirky Quokka. Very cute Aussie animal. https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=Australian+Quokka&mmreqh=Tpx5PkCWKXeCyAYqlbwivb%2bIPrCHQwqKlh1r9mA3iSE%3d&form=IDINTS&first=1

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Mary Bendickson
04:39 Aug 04, 2023

Very cute.

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Rebecca Lewis
18:20 Jun 12, 2024

Your story brings out the chaos and humor of a family road trip in such a detailed way! The way the siblings interact, the challenges the parents face, and the whole game of naming items for the trip — it all feels so real and nostalgic. It captures that mix of mundane moments and unexpected joy that often comes with family travel back in those days. It paints a vivid picture of what it was like to embark on a road trip with a big family, complete with its unique dynamics and challenges.

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Mary Bendickson
22:47 Jun 12, 2024

Glad you enjoyed the trip.😁

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Kevin Keegan
19:20 Oct 26, 2023

A brilliant piece of writing Mary. So colourful, descriptive and funny. Great writing. And by the way I like to congratulate you on your success in the Killer Nashville Claymore Award, that's absolutely brilliant Mary and well deserved, all your writing is excellent. Cheers, Kevin.

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Mary Bendickson
22:00 Oct 26, 2023

You make me blush. Thank you.

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Amanda Lieser
23:06 Aug 22, 2023

Hi Mary, I admit I was a big nervous reading your content warning, but was left pleasantly surprised. It was always just my sister and I so our car remained mostly quiet-especially with the advent of portable dvd players. Nice work on this one!!

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Mary Bendickson
23:21 Aug 22, 2023

Glad you liked the trip.

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04:43 Aug 15, 2023

I remember going on Holiday with kids in the car. One in between Mum and Dad, three in the middle and one lying down with all the luggage in the back of the station wagon. (we took turns at that) You'd never get away with it now-a-days. We yelled out car names, counted their colors that we had chosen, played 'I Spy', Another game included inventing tongue twisters and saying them correctly for as long as we could. Another game we challenged each other to come up with a particular number of whatever. For examples, names of six animals, names ...

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Mary Bendickson
06:06 Aug 15, 2023

A lot of suffering but no loss of life. Thanks for liking and sharing your fun

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Arthur McNamee
21:33 Aug 10, 2023

This is classic Americana at its best. I love the setting and the banter between family members. Great story and it reminded me of my youth. Thanks.

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Mary Bendickson
23:18 Aug 10, 2023

So far has struck a cord with many. Thanks 🙏 for liking it.

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Susan Catucci
15:53 Aug 10, 2023

Hey, you were eavesdropping on my family station wagon vacations when I was a kid! Only thing you missed was when I lost my pet shop turtle and forced us to stop until we could locate Samson. Oh yeah, course now I'm the mom so horrors, indeed. (Did I mentioned how often I was car sick?) In a word, Mary: Wonderful, I loved it!

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Mary Bendickson
15:59 Aug 10, 2023

Glad it brought back pleasant memories. With me, the one who loved to read, I can't to this day read while riding in a car without feeling sick.🤢

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Susan Catucci
16:34 Aug 10, 2023

Sister! Pass the barf bag.

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Gavin Matthew
00:59 Aug 10, 2023

An enjoyable short that definitely played to my nostalgia with the game. It was a fun read!

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John Werner
16:12 Aug 06, 2023

Brought me back to our old Country Squire station wagon. Very nostalgic.

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Mary Bendickson
16:49 Aug 06, 2023

Yep, we eventually got a station wagon but couldn't forget those back window and down in the wells choice spots.😱 Thanks for liking the ride.

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Aeris Walker
11:48 Aug 06, 2023

My family would travel in our old van with a cooler shoved between the two front seats and an old blocky VHS tv balanced on top of it. Whenever we took off too fast, it would slide back and hit whoever was sitting in the middle…very safe haha… I enjoyed your story (as well as the reference to the public speaking story!) This was a fun read and relatable for anyone who’s had to endure long car rides, no matter what generation they’re from. The cars might get more comfortable, but being stuck in one with your whole family forever will try anyo...

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Mary Bendickson
13:33 Aug 06, 2023

Thanks glad you enjoyed the ride.

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Ela Mikh
05:18 Aug 06, 2023

Love the unusual structure of the story, reads like a play, and you can practically see them all and their characters! Really enjoyed it, remind me of the road trips with my kids when they were little and I was ready to pull my hair out

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Mary Bendickson
10:34 Aug 06, 2023

That's the logical atmosphere I was going for and I think I made my parents more patient than they actually were. Thanks for liking it.

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Myranda Marie
18:33 Aug 04, 2023

Growing up the oldest of four and the only girl, road trips were brutal. I wish our parents were as patient with us as your characters. Totally relatable !

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Kevin Logue
09:17 Aug 04, 2023

Oh, this brought back some memories! Five kids, parents and a 1980s ford escort, me being the youngest had to sit on a cushion on the handbrake, there really wasn't much safety concerns back then. Our game used to be my mother would call out a colour of a car and whoever spotted five first got 50p ha. Fun, cramped, hot, times! Nice entry Mary. You are missing the inverted commas on two sentences: I am going to Grandma's on a roller coaster and am taking a gigantic gerbil... And I am going to Grandma's on a roller coaster and I am takin...

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Mary Bendickson
10:55 Aug 04, 2023

Thanks for the like and the catches. How many times did I look and not see? Glad it brought back memories. An Escort sounds worse than what we had.

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Kevin Logue
11:07 Aug 04, 2023

It was quite a squash! One time we got lost down the south of Ireland when on holiday, no gps, no maps, country roads and the heavens had opened to wash the countryside making it almost impossible to see the road ahead. So Da had little choice but to find a safe spot to park and we settled in for the night. It was horrible, yet my most vivid holiday memory ha.

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Mary Bendickson
13:43 Aug 04, 2023

How could you not remember that!

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Chris Miller
23:37 Aug 03, 2023

A super sweet story, but hiding the hell of the actual experience. There were only two of us in the back of the car, and that was enough! Thanks for sharing, Mary.

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Mary Bendickson
23:53 Aug 03, 2023

So the horror did show through? Thanks for liking and commenting.

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Chris Miller
00:12 Aug 04, 2023

Oh yeah. Hundreds of hot, car-sick miles next to a barely tolerable sibling. The horror...

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22:01 Aug 03, 2023

Used to play this game with my daughter while cycling to school with her in the seat attached to the bike of the bike. Fond memories indeed Thanks Mary.

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Mary Bendickson
22:44 Aug 03, 2023

Those were the days...Glad it brought back great memories. Thanks for liking.

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