A Secret Space

I never liked being too social with people. They were all just a bunch of butt cheeks but every so often I’d keep up with Finnn. His name is spelled with three n’s because his father was so shaky when he was born that he put double the amount of n’s than he was supposed to. He died about twenty years ago in a fire trying to save his dog Petey who would also accompany us. With the advancements of technology I was able to visit him whenever I wanted to. It was always nice to see him. We always met up on the fifth of every third month at our secret tea spot and I never had so much fun with a dead person. Sometimes we would talk about how much time we’d mostly spent doing nothing but as the top commander it was always the time and place for us to spend time together. I knew as a child that I had the biggest crush on Finnn but I never got the chance to tell him. As a leading woman in the space community it was always up to me to be the top dog. I spent most of my time bossing everyone around which I didn’t mind but occasionally I wanted to be nice. It was almost as if I didn’t have a choice sometimes though. I suited the everlasting stereotype of a feisty woman but I had to. My only sweet spot was for Finnn. 

If I wasn’t with Finnn I was usually bossing someone around so I liked to keep it classy. I knew people knew why I was such a crump to them but I knew they liked me. I liked to read people’s minds. Most of the time I spent my day relaxing and reading everyone’s mind. Dex, my assistant humanoid, would come up to me and he would tell me stories about his experiences or sometimes just make super stories to entertain me. Most of my commander duties felt like clean up work. I was always able to play back the memories of Finnn and I and show them on the projector in my office. Sometimes late in the day I would stay in my office and have tea and think about Finnn. The fifth was coming up and I cleared my entire schedule for my day with Finnn. I made sure to wear something extra cute. Most of my clothes were black, grey, and leathery materials or jeans. I always had to act like a badass but I took the opportunity to wear florals and bright colors whenever I met Finnn for tea. 

The tea for our meeting this time was a mango mint tea that Finnn bought for me especially. I loved mint because it was so refreshing and any exotic fruit was always good in tea. We made our teas from scratch so I would pick a combination of fruits from my garden and make them into tea. I grew tea leaves as well. I mean how can you make tea without tea leaves. Everything was organic, nowadays I spent most of my time making and preparing my own food because you could trust the corporations with anything they made. All the toxins and bacteria that existed were more than life threatening at this point and they were all money hungry and greedy. I was able to hyper feed and grow all my plants so instead of waiting months and years for fruits and vegetables to grow. 

When I walked in he sat there waiting for me. I smiled at him and he gave me his usual full cheeked smile. I always tried to hide my emotions whenever I was around. It hurt me because I couldn’t touch him and feel the warmth of his body. Everything about him was there except for his actual body. That’s what made loving him even harder. We talked about his new dog he named Kipling, a boston terrier. You’d think that people just live their regular lives but Kipling was a dog who was abused in the overworld and pasted on into the afterlife and Finnn had found him. The afterlife worked similar to the overworld and there weren’t that many differences aside from the fact that it was much more peaceful. No wrongdoing, no violence, no hate. Just peace, love, and happiness. I looked forward to my time but I know there were many years until that was to come, at least that’s what I knew to be true. I spent at least 3 hours sitting and talking to Finnn and then he said, “How would you feel if I come back to life?” I had to do a double take and I just looked at him. “I know it sounds crazy and I love it here but I just want to be able to touch you. It’s so crappy being alone here and I miss you.” he said. I felt tears well up in my eyes but I didn’t want to assume he was telling me what I thought he was telling me. I didn’t like to assume. I stood by the phrase that was known with assuming things. 

“I know what you’re thinking, I can see it in your face Estrella.” He was Italian and Hispanic. He always called me star in spanish and I didn’t think anything of it. I spent hours thinking about what he had said. I never gave him a response. I mostly went into shock. What could this mean for the both of us. Or was I just overthinking the whole thing. I was off guard the rest of the week and everyone could tell. Nobody complained about it. Dex came in and still assisted me as regular. I went on about my regular work day and at night I stayed in the office late. I felt like I’d been blindsided by his question like it was a meteorite. I didn’t know why I was so influenced by it but my whole life had spun.