A Matter of Wife and Debt

Tuesdays were supposed to be our chill days. Ren running around the tiny, studio apartment, vacuuming like her life depended on it was not chill. I peeled open one eye to see the vacuum abandoned, Ren now opening the blinds. 

I groaned, ending my nap. 

“The hell?” I yawned. “It’s your day off, why are you cleaning? Is your mom coming over?” 

“If my mother was in town; I would have woken you up three hours ago. And you would’ve had some pants on.” She eyed my checkered boxers and I shrugged. 

Ren shooed me off the bed, hitting me with her long, dark brown hair. This summer she’d decided to grow it past her waist length and then chop it off to donate to kids with cancer. Good for them, but bad for me because I had to live with her shedding hair. I grumbled but plopped onto the couch. “I’m going to work later so we can watch some TV. Golden girls marathon?” 

Ren tsked under her breath, her short figure darting in front of me. “No, Netflix trial expired last week...must clean.” 

“So now you’re a robot.” I chuckled, grabbing her mid flight. She squealed, worming around in my hoodie that she was wearing. I’d been looking for that. 

“Let go of me! I have to clean.” She tried to wiggle out of my arms, but I pinned her down onto the couch. Her thick eyebrows arched, complementing dark brown eyes that were wide saucers now. 

“Tell me what’s up. Then I’ll let you go.”

She groaned. “I’m so stressed.”

“Is it your residency? My dad knows some really great dentists in the Orlando area. I know Jacksonville wasn’t your ideal place. I’d hate to feel like I pressured you into moving here.”

Ren pursed her full lips. “No, we shouldn’t leech off your dad anymore. He was nice enough to give you the job at his firm—”

“I’m almost twenty six years old and I’m an intern. He could’ve done a lot more.”

“The point is, your job pays the bills and it was worth the move. It’s just a little warmer here than I’m used to.”

I snorted. “Well, Canada isn’t exactly known for its sunny weather.”

“Will, I’m fine.” Ren kissed me. “It’s just that both of our student loan payments are coming soon and if we could just think about consolidating—”

“Nope, nope. We’re not talking about this. We’re just going to pay it and be poor for the rest of the month.”

“That's the thing: we’re poor every month because of these payments. And it’s only been two years and we haven’t even paid off a quarter of the loans. At this rate, we’ll still be paying them off in retirement.”

“Oh please,” I said, “They’d forgive the loans by then. Or global warming would’ve caught up to us by then. Hopefully.”

“Shut it.” Ren smacked my bare chest, maneuvering out from underneath me. “I think we should consider it.”

“Yeah, sure thing, but I can’t make a life altering decision until after two episodes of Golden Girls.”

“Will…” Ren drawled out my name, burying her face in my neck. 

“Ren…” I mocked. 

Across from us, on the coffee table, Ren’s phone vibrated and she propelled off the couch. 

She glanced at the caller ID, picking up the call. “Hey Meg, what’s up?”

I groaned, rolling my eyes. “Meg” or Meghan was Ren’s best friend, but I knew her as the devil on Ren’s shoulder. She called Ren more than her mother, which is saying something. Meghan was still in university and after we had graduated, I’d hoped that would be the last we’d see of her. 

Unfortunately, I was wrong.

I caught bits of their conversation. 

“I know that getting married worked for you two but —” Ren lowered her voice.

Meghan must’ve been on another one of her know-it-all tirades because Ren was quiet for a while. She glanced over at me occasionally. Sweat trickled down my forehead as Ren started speaking in hushed tones.

“We’ve talked about it…but I’m not going to pressure him into it. Just because I want to—” I watched in the TV’s reflection as Ren scurried out to the balcony to finish up her conversation.

I took a deep breath, starting to piece together what she was talking about.

She wanted to get married. And judging by the conversation, very soon. 

I found myself nodding over and over again. Marriage was a thing. Logically, it made sense. We’d been dating for almost five years.

I looked back at the balcony. Ren had probably managed to wedge herself in a corner because I could only see her shadow now. 

Instead of wallowing around in anxiety, I decided to distract myself. 

I threw on a shirt and shorts, and tried to keep my thoughts at bay. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to marry Ren—I mean, we had discussed it before. But it was always this far off thing that would happen eventually. Like once we got our careers together and were ready.

I went down to the mailroom and opened our mail box to see one envelope—my monthly student loan bill. 

Because my day couldn’t get any worse, I opened it. The large number didn’t give me a heart attack like it used to but I’d be lying if I said Ren’s consolidation suggestion didn’t cross my mind again. 

“Not today, Satan.” I shoved the envelope inside my back pocket. 

If I was going to spend thousands of dollars on anything, I was going to make the most of it. I wanted to be with Ren and even if she wasn’t thinking about marriage, we didn’t have to get married right this second. 

Engagement could last a year or two, enough to pay off a significant amount of our debt. 

I mean, what was the harm in looking at one or two rings?

With my mind made up, I went back to our apartment and found the door open. I looked over the sparse, mismatched furniture (Say what you want, garage sale furniture was better than none at all) and peeked out the balcony window but saw no sign of Ren.

“Ren?” I called, checking the bathroom. Not there either. 

I picked up my phone from kitchen counter and saw a text from her.

Had to run a quick errand. See after work. Love you! 

I shot her a quick ‘ok’ text but there was still this unsettled feeling inside me. I had to do something, like look up some rings or wedding cakes. 

I searched up some reasonable priced jewelry stores and picked the nearest one. I was just going to take a peek, see how much I needed to save, and come back for it when I was ready. 

Armed with a plan, I grabbed my keys and wallet then headed out.

*

Hart’s Jewelry store was on the other side of Jacksonville’s downtown area. 

The store looked smaller on the outside but it might’ve been the large banner that had the shop’s name which covered up the top half of the building. 

I walked into the store and felt like I was in a maze. The glass cases held dozens of rings, all reflecting back at me. There are so many turns to make and I felt the need to ask many questions for someone who was ‘just looking’. How big should it be? How much should I spend?

I snapped out of my trance when greeted by an employee.

“Welcome, happy hearts always lead to Hart’s Jewelry!” A middle aged woman came up to me, smiling. Her smile caused the skin around her green eyes to crinkle and for a second I had hope that she wasn’t going to scam me out of my money. I’d always had a hard time saying no and that’s how I ended up buying my car within five minutes of stepping onto the car dealership.

I returned the smile. “Hi, I’m looking for a engagement ring.”

The employee’s face lit up like I had just proposed to her and she gestured to the glass cases surrounding us. “You’ve come to the right place. My name is Katy.” She said and beckoned me towards her left. 

Her black and white polka dot sundress swayed as she pointed out a row of rings. Her blond hair had this poof to it like a pin up doll. Ren wanted to dress up as a pin up girl at a college Halloween party but decided it was conforming to harmful Western beauty ideals and went as batman instead. I didn’t understand her logic but she made me Robin which fulfilled ten year old me’s dreams.

“I’m just looking around,” I said, “Just to see what’s out here and all.”

Katy gave me a knowing wink. “Oh sweet pea, that’s what they all say. I’m kidding, of course. Is this your first time ring shopping, Mister——?” She waited for me to finish her sentence and I jumped in, extending my hand.

“Will Spencer.” I shook her hand. “Yeah, it is. I’m not sure what I’m looking for. My girlfriend doesn’t wear a lot of jewelry.”

“Ok, that’s fine. Tell me more about her and I’m sure we can figure something out!” 

“Uh ok,” I said, suddenly blanking on how to describe the woman I’d loved for almost five years. “Her name is Ren,” I began.

“Like the flower?” 

“Uh no, her name’s Kareena; she’s from India.” I shook my head, trying to get back on track. “Um, we met in college. She was a TA for a science class I was failing. She spent a lot of time tutoring me that semester and I grew on her even after the class ended. I love her, really. And that’s why I’m here. I need to find a ring that is as amazing as her.”

“Aw, what a beautiful story.” Katy tapped a manicured hand on the rim of a glass case. “Well, since this is your first time ring shopping, let me walk you through it. When it comes to engagement rings, always remember the 4 c’s:  Cut, color, carat and——”

“Cost?”

“No, clarity.” Katy said. “Are you worried about costs, Mr. Spencer?”

I paled, looking at those hefty price tags by the rings. “I mean, the other day I had to fight myself to not buy the newest flavor of ramen because it was fifty cents more.”

Katy laughed but it faded when she realized I was serious. “Oh. Well, money shouldn’t be the end all. Just give me a general estimate of what you can afford right now.”

I thought about it and whispered the number to her.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be getting married if that’s your budget,” she whispered underneath her breath so quickly that I wasn’t sure if I heard her correctly. 

“Anyway, let’s head over to a section that will work for your budget.” Katy went behind the counter to open up two glass cases. 

“See anything you like?” she asked. 

I grimaced. The wedding rings weren’t as shiny as the ones I’d just seen. Most had this circular shape and I could only see the diamond if I squinted hard enough. I’d might as well give her one of those plastic toy ones from a toy machine because at least they were shiny. 

“She’ll still love me despite the size of the engagement ring, right?” 

“Of course. But if you want an option that’s out of your budget, put the ring on layaway.”

“Layaway?” I echoed, shaking my head. “No, that’s the real world version of student loans and I’ve got enough of those.”

“You can’t put a price on love.” Katy said as a ring in the corner caught my eye. 

It was a square shaped diamond with tiny beads around it. The band was gold which would compliment Ren’s deep brown skin tone nicely.

“Could I see that one?” I pointed to it.

“This is a princess cut. It’s two grand but buy it today, it’ll be eighteen hundred.” She handed me the ring and I gingerly took it.

“I’m just looking, Katy.”

“Mhmm.” She said and cocked her head. She excused herself for a moment and went over to the cash register.

I turned the ring over in my palm several times, feeling its weight. Perfect for Ren.

Without thinking, I put it on my ring finger. It was snug but with sizing, it would fit Ren.

Everything stood still. The doubts and anxiety I had all day melted away. The answer was Ren and she meant everything to me. This was the way to show her that. This felt right.

Maybe I could find a cheaper ring that was similar to this one. I twisted the cold band, sliding it off. It was after I hit the metacarpal joint that it wouldn’t come off.

Shit.

I tried again, more effort this time.

Still nothing. 

*

Katy came over to me, the ring wouldn’t budge, and all I wanted to do was find the nearest hole and bury myself in it.

“Oh sweetheart…” Katy gasped and I squeezed my eyes shut.

“Help. Please.”

She tugged on the ring. “You’re not the first one, believe it or not.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better.” I winced as she pulled harder but to not avail.

She tried again then I tried again until I started to feel lightheaded. To add to my embarrassment, two other employees tried to pry the ring from my finger. They shook their heads, unable to help.

“Ok, what if I were to break my finger?” I rubbed the swollen joint. 

“Don’t make this worse than it already is.” Katy warned.

“I think you know what you have to do.”

I groaned. “Yeah. She’ll be worth it, though.”

Katy smiled, ushering me toward the register. “So layaway?”

I pulled out my wallet. “Layaway.”

*

I got home and found Ren sitting on the bed, in the dark.

I flicked on the lights, raising a brow. She was sweating like she’d just spent the last hour trying to get a ring off her finger. I stuck my left hand in my pocket, hiding the ring. 

“What’s with the lights?” I laughed, sitting on the bed. “Are we trying to save on electricity now?”

“Don’t make me laugh.” Ren said, using her hair to cover her face. 

“Are you mad at me?”

“No…” She drawled out, pushing her hair out of her face. “But you’re about to be mad at me. I have something to tell you.”

I could’ve cried from relief. “I have something to tell you too. You first.”

“No, you go,” 

“How about we go at the same time?” I offered.

“Okay...1, 2, 3—”

“I got a second mortgage to pay off our student loans!”

“I got your engagement ring stuck on my finger!”

“Wait you did what?” I blurted out.

“You were going to propose to me?” Ren covered her mouth, eyes wide with shock. 

“Yes, but can we go back to the second mortgage bit?” I asked while showing her the ring.

“Oh my god, it’s so beautiful.” Ren started crying and I had no idea what to think.

On one hand, the student loan problem was fixed. On the other hand, we’d have to live in this two bit studio apartment for another few years. 

“I overheard you and Meghan on the phone today and I figured there’s no better time than now.”

“What?” A puzzled look crossed Ren’s features before being replaced with understanding. “Oh babe, no. She mentioned her marriage but not referring to us. She was talking about another one of our friends. I was talking to her about consolidating the loans. Wait, is that why you were going to propose? Because you thought I wanted to get married soon?”

“No, no, of course not.” I said quickly, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks. God, I was an idiot. “I’d marry you anytime, I don’t need Meghan of all people to tell me that.”

“Get up,” Ren said abruptly, helping me to my feet. She wiped away her tears, smiling. 

“William Spencer, I know you said we’d wait until our student loans are mostly paid off but we’re going to be paying those off for the rest of our lives. And now, we won’t have any student debt with this second mortgage.” Ren got down on one knee and if it weren’t for my heart racing, I could’ve laughed. “So will you marry me?”

“Yes.” I laughed, helping her up. She kissed me and I threw everything I’d ever felt for her into that kiss. 

I broke away smiling, holding out my left hand. “Wait till the guys at the office get a load of this.”

“One day, this is going to make a funny story but right now, we need to get that off of you and onto me. I’ll get the butter.”

“Good plan.” I nodded, kissing the top of Ren’s forehead. “I love you, future Mrs. Patel-Spencer.”

“I love you more. And you remembered I liked the hyphen.” She winked, going over to the fridge. “I’m glad I proposed to you after all.”

“You’re going to milk this for the rest of our lives, aren’t you?”

“Sure am. Come over here.” She beckoned me over so I did.

The stick of butter was cold but inviting after all the trauma my finger had gone through. 

“You’re seriously not mad about the mortgage?” She asked, meeting my gaze.

“No, I’m always going to have some sort of debt. I’m just glad I have you to get through it.”

A pretty rose color edged into Ren’s cheeks. “For richer or for poorer, huh? It’s probably going to be poorer for a few more years.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”