Void Of Stars (Part 1) - [Collab with Annie Persson]

I waited until the footsteps receded down the hall, reaching beneath my bed to grab the bag of things I had collected earlier in the day. I smirked to myself. No one ever notices what I do, and I love it. Once I opened my door slowly and checked no one had their lights on, I sneaked down the hall to the window.

Checking behind me once more, I opened the window and sat on the sill. I took a deep breath and jumped. I resisted the urge to scream in delight, knowing it would only get me found. I dropped another two storeys until I opened a wormhole and disappeared.

I stumbled to the ground, looking back at the castle and leaning against a wall for support. A giggle bubbled up inside of me, but I fought it back, remembering where I (hopefully) was. I walked around the side of the building and spotted the purple dot on the door frame. Another successful wormwalk.

I knocked three times, waited, and then knocked twice. The door flew open and I saw Dena standing in the light that shone from her candles. She looked me up and down once, nodded and said:

“He’s out by the field. Be careful now, you wouldn’t want someone seeing you.” Her voice had a slight lilt, making her words sound almost like a poem. I thanked her and walked behind the other houses near the field, careful not to make any noise. Once I was out in the open, I let the glowing rock my tutor had been showing me this morning come into existence once more, holding out my palm as the rock gradually reformed. I held it above my head once it was fully formed, letting its light guide me through the field without breaking my legs on some hidden hole.

The field had a gentle incline, so once I reached the top, I paused for a second, drinking in the moonlit view of the palace that was my prison and home. Lower down the field, I saw a dark shape moving, and crouched, squinting into the darkness.

“Nixon?” I called gently, my voice carrying through the quiet air. I see a flash of purple below me and then a hand touches my shoulder. I almost scream, but cover my mouth before I can make too much noise. I hear a smooth chuckle behind me and the hand retreats.

“Star’s sake, Nix! You gave me a heart attack! You know I hate it when you do that.” I turn to face Nixon, my golden eyes glaring at him in the light of the glowing rock. His dark blue eyes, black in this light, gleamed with mischief, and the one-sided smile he gave me only made me want to punch him more.

“Chill out, Hope. You’re late anyway, so it wasn’t for no reason. Did you make it ok?” He said in a deep voice, his words containing the same lilt as his mother’s. I nodded and sat down where I was, looking out over the valley between this little hill and the gentle mountain where the castle sat.

“So,” I said, once Nix had sat down beside me, “What’s the lesson going to be about tonight? Ethical uses for Existential Sorcery? Or practical uses for the wormhole?”

He looked at me for a moment longer than was necessary then looked at the moon. “Ways Existential powers have shaped our society and why they shouldn’t be outlawed.” I leaned back and waited for him to continue.

“Many years ago, there were loads of Sorcerers and everybody prospered. Although some used their powers for bad, most people were helpful and kind. That is until the royal family tried to kill all magic. The general population doesn't know the reasons, but maybe you do. Most people speculate about why the king tried to kill all sorcerers and the common theory is he was upset because his family didn’t have any powers at all, so if they didn’t have magic, why should the rest of us?

Anyway, he successfully killed magic in his time, but the tricky thing about magic is it isn’t an ancestral thing. It happens to appear in some people at different stages in their lives. I know of an old man who woke up with wormhole powers. And there was a baby in a village a couple of miles down the road who made her toys disappear. Then there was you. Randomly appeared right in front of me, scaring the starlight out of me and the sheep.” I laughed remembering the first time I accidentally used one of my two powers.

“Yeah, but I wasn’t much more calm than you. I completely freaked when I realised where I was.” He turned his head and smiled at me.

“You were really loud though, and I had to lie to that guy and tell him you had hurt yourself.”

“Oh, when we were young,” I said teasingly. “Why do we say all that stuff about the stars and moon? I’ve only just realised that we say stuff about them all the time.”

Nix nodded like he knew this would come up.

"People were trying to find out the limits to magic before it was outlawed, and one of them was that we can't change the sun, stars, or the moon. Although we usually use words connected to starlight, sometimes other villages use the sun or moon more often. It all depends on where you come from.” He stood up and dusted his trousers off. “Right, let’s empty that bag you brought and see how much you’ve improved with your wormholes.”

*****

My parents had told me repeatedly that reading was the appropriate entertainment for a proper princess. My older sister Hope could run around the palace singing at the top of her voice and playing with the piglets in their sties – in their eyes, she was a lost cause. But as long as they had no more children, I had to be princessy enough for both of us.

I looked at the cover of the book I'd picked and sighed. Why can't I even be childish in my own room? I knew without checking that a woman was watching me from outside her door. There always was.

It was times like these that I almost didn't like Hope. I loved her – as much as anyone can love a close relative that they barely see – but sometimes I resented her carefree, immature behaviour. I should be the immature one.

Suddenly I felt an urge to do something – something mischievous, something definitely immature.

“Dena, would you please find my father? I would like to discuss this fascinating book with him,” I lied.

“Of course,” Dena replied in that musical way of hers (I envied her voice. It was so - perfect). She saw the book, lying open on the first page, and said nothing.

When she was gone, I smiled—good old Dena.

“Faith! You're not busy?”

I whirled around, clutching my hands to my heart. “Star's sake, Hope! You gave me a heart attack!” I said. “And... why are you covered in flour?”

She looked down at her blue dress, turned starch white from flour. She brushed it off, and I winced. I knew what our father would say about the mess. "That? I..." She blushed and looked down at her feet. "I wormwalked into the pantry by accident trying to get up here. Cook wasn't in a good mood."

I laughed. Not the refined, regal laugh my parents had taught me - it felt good to laugh again. Hope smiled, self-consciously dusting off more flour on my bedroom floor.

“How's the magic coming on?” she asked.

“Magic? You mean, I can wormwalk like you?”

“You could. Although you'll never be as good as I am.” My sister grinned as I gave her arm a weak punch.

“Well, there is something,” I mused. She sat on the arm of my chair and waited for more.

“I'm beginning to see these... faint lengths of string.” Her mouth opened. “That's the only way I can explain it, with string. There are loads of them, and they sit in people's heads – everyone's, although I can't see my own. They kind of overlap, like they're sitting on top of each other, but I can see them like they're spread out. And they're all different lengths.” It was hard to explain, but I was relying on her already knowing what I meant.

Her face warned me that this wasn't a good thing, but I carried on, anxious for her to understand.

“I haven't tried anything with them yet, but I'm sure I could. I feel like I could just... tug a bit. I want to see what would happen, Hope.” I burned with curiosity – if my parents had this, they would've told me, right? I gave myself a mental hug at the thought that I might be special.

“Can you do something with my -” she hesitated. “- my string? Now, I mean.” I nodded and focused. I separated her string, picked the shortest piece, and gave it an experimental tug. It snapped in half, the frayed edges moulding into the invisible length of my own string.

The room's colours seemed to dim a little, and I thought, Why am I trying this? I'm going to fail. I glanced at Hope. She seemed completely carefree – even more than usual. Then she frowned.

“Give it back, Faith,” she said gently. It was my turn to frown.

“Give what back?”

“The string.” My frown deepened as I dug into my mind, trying to find the string to return.

“Try mine,” my sister suggested. I looked into her mind and found the severed string. Raising a finger for Hope to be silent, I coaxed the rest of her string away from mine, watching as it separated and joined back to her. I straightened up, feeling lighter.

“You know more about this than I do, don't you?” I said. Hope nodded, still recovering from whatever I had just done.

“You know that magic is centred on voids, yes?” she said. I shook my head. “It's why we mention stars, moons and the sun so often. Because they're in space, which is a giant void.” I knew this was what her secret teacher had told her a few lessons ago (I'm not completely ignorant), but I listened anyway, silently praying. This better be good.

“So some people can make wormholes, some people make things disappear, and some people -” She hesitated. I waved my hand encouragingly.

“Go on.”

“It's called emotional void, or EV for short. It's – rare. Those people can drain you of emotion – temporarily, I mean. Some people specialise in one emotion, in their case it lasts for a day, some people are all-rounders, which lasts an hour each.” She fidgeted on the edge of her seat.

“So that's what I have,” I prompted, then paused to think. “There's something you're not telling me, isn't there?”

“It can be good.” Was she – is she pleading? “People who specialise in sadness make our kingdom so much happier, and people who specialise in anger can stop wars.”

Now I got it. “There's something you're leaving out. Some people specialise in joy, love, and positive emotions, don't they? And...”

“And so our parents are scared of anyone with that kind of power, so prisons are for other sorcerers, and EVs get... executed. And what you just showed me is exactly what they're scared of...” Her voice trailed away.

*****

When I returned to my room, I sat on the bed, thinking. What Faith just showed me scared me and I didn't know what I was going to do about it. The fear or the power she had showed me. I was facing the window, watching the clouds go by, my thoughts swirling like a storm. I twisted my copper-coloured hair around my fingers a couple of times, unconsciously biting my lip. I stopped when I tasted the metallic tang of blood, sighed and paced to the window.

No one could find out about Faith now, not even Nix. I hated the thought of keeping something this important from him, but I had to for the sake of my sister. I smiled to myself, noticing that I was actually acting like an older sister should.

A sudden knock on the door made me jump and spin around.

“Who- who is it?” I called out, trying to slow my beating heart.

“It’s Hatti, m’lady, and I come baring an invitation from your parents, the king and queen. They would like you to join them for lunch.” I could hear the squeaky floorboard outside my door, which meant Hatti was about to walk away.

“Hatti! Wait!” I said as I opened the door. She turned slowly on her heel, giving me a wary look like I might try to bite her or something.

“I, um, I don’t know what to wear, would you mind, uh, helping me to pick something out?”

When I was ready, I walked carefully down the main staircase, trying not to trip in the weirdly puffy and long dress. I usually wore boy’s trousers with a tunic over them. Occasionally I would wear a very practical dress or two, but they were never like this.

Finally, I made it to the bottom without falling on my face, and I hurried to the dining room, still not sure why they would bother making me have lunch with them. I never eat in the palace, I’m always out before everyone is awake, strolling the town or playing in the fields below the castle. Sometimes, I forget lunch entirely, only remembering to eat something when I get back home, late at night, when all the delicious smells from dinner still lingering in the halls.

The heavy doors swung open when I knocked, startling me for a moment. No one ever does that for me normally.

“Ah!” My dad’s voice boomed from the head of the table, “There’s the little rascal! Come on Hope, sit down already!” I scurried to my place at the table, nervously fiddling with the outermost fork. When my mother spoke, I jumped, and my fork clattered to the floor. I winced as a servant picked it up and I tried to grab it from her, but she gave me a strange look and got me a new one from a tray in the corner of the room.

“So.” Mother said, giving me a hard look, “Your Father and I have been discussing your place here. We don’t think you’re as ready as we would like you to be, seeing as you’re the heir, and we’ve decided to give your sister the title of Crown Princess, instead of you.” Faith, who I hadn't noticed up until then, gasped and dropped her glass.

“M-me?” She sputtered, leaning back for the maid to clean up the mess her spilt drink had caused.

“Yes, you. Now, while we will still allow you to live in the palace, Hope, we want you to start helping out since you cause a lot of messes. We would also like you to stay out of the way when we have visiting officials and royals over, maybe staying in your room or… out.” She said the last word carefully as if she was thinking of saying something else.

“So, you want to get rid of me?” I asked, my voice breaking on the word ‘rid’. This was my worst fear coming to life. I’d always thought that if I could lower the standard for Faith, then she wouldn’t feel so pressured as I had when that awful woman Leana was my tutor. She had always yelled at me for the slightest mistake, never letting me do anything I wanted. So once she was gone, I wouldn’t let myself get controlled like that again, swearing never to be like Leana had tried to make me. Of course, I still cared what my parents thought of me, but I figured if I couldn’t be perfect like Leana had wanted me to be, then I would try my best to be a perfect version of myself. But now, they all thought I was a failure, and I knew Faith never thought very highly of me, but now? The way she was looking at me now was a look of sympathy, but not one that said ‘I’m so sorry, Hope, I’ll try to help you get your title back,’ it said ‘Oh dear, you weren’t expecting that, were you?’.

“No, dear, we just want you out of the way. If you can’t be a presentable princess, then you’ll have to stay quiet and unseen.” My mother said, condescendingly. I pursed my lips and stood up, pushing my chair back with my legs. I could feel the tears welling in my eyes, but I blinked them back, turning and running away from the horrible people in the dining room.

Unconsciously, I opened a wormhole and ran through it, my unshed tears warping my vision. When I finally stopped, I was on a mountainside somewhere far away from the palace. The castle was just a smudge of grey on a distant mountain. I sighed in relief, sitting on the ground and finally letting my tears fall onto the soft grass.

Suddenly, the sun disappeared, and everything got dark. I blinked the remaining tears away, standing on the now-dark hillock. The stars were shining and the moon was round, but it was still the middle of the day. Then, one by one, the stars started disappearing.

[Co-written with Annie Persson. I only wrote the parts between the '*'s]