Goldilocks and the three pigs

Submitted into Contest #88 in response to: Write a fairy tale about an outsider trying to fit in.... view prompt

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Funny Kids Fiction

Chapter One

The three little pigs lived on an island in the middle of a huge lake.

They had moved there because they were afraid of being eaten by big bad wolves. They had each built a bungalow made of bricks. None of the bungalows had chimneys.

The three pigs were very happy on their island until....... one day.

A little girl with golden hair came to play on the banks of the lake.

She peered through her binoculars and saw the three pigs on the island.

“Hey you three pigs!”, yelled Goldilocks, “Come over and play with me!”

“No” said the three pigs. “We’ve heard about you. You’re the little girl who goes into people’s houses without asking, and steals food and breaks furniture.”

“Not any more,” said Goldilocks.

“We’ll think about it,” said the three pigs. “Come back tomorrow and we’ll let you know what we’ve decided.”

That night the three pigs sat together talking about Goldilocks and whether she deserved to have three pigs as friends.

In the end, they thought it was only fair to give her a chance.

The next morning, Goldilocks came to play on the banks of the lake again.

“Have you pigs decided yet!” she shouted across.

“We’ve decided to give you one chance, “ said the first little pig.

“Great,” yelled Goldilocks, “Come on over.”

“No,” shouted the second little pig, “You come over here.”

“Why,” Goldilocks asked, “Still afraid of the big bad wolf?”

“No,” said the third little pig, “We can’t swim.”

At this, Goldilocks fell about laughing. When she eventually stopped, the three pigs had gone into their bungalows and closed the doors.

                                       Chapter Two

The next morning, the pigs were woken by a loud knocking at their doors. 

When the first little pig went to the window, his trotters were knocking.

He was terrified that a big bad wolf had discovered where they were living and had come to get them.

He peeped carefully through the curtains, and there, to his surprise, was Goldilocks. She was dressed in her swimming costume and had a towel draped around her shoulders.

“I hope you don’t mind” she said, “I swam over.”

The first little pig made her some porridge, (which he knew she liked) and then went to wake the second and third little pigs.

The four friends had a wonderful time together. They played hide and seek, bouncing on beds, and cricket.                                                                                    

At first they were worried they wouldn’t be able to play cricket, because they didn’t have a bat or stumps, but Goldilocks sat on a chair in the third pig’s kitchen and broke it, so they used three legs as stumps, and one as a bat.

Goldilocks came for several days and began to get fed up with bouncing on the beds, hide and seek and cricket.

“Why don’t I teach you how to swim?” she asked the three pigs one

morning.

The three little pigs were delighted.

The very next day their lessons began.

They weren’t very good at first, they did a lot of splashing and a lot of sinking.

Fortunately, Goldilocks had broken two more chairs, so they used the wooden seats as floats and before too long, the three pigs were doing a hundred metres dog paddle.

They decided that they would work on the butterfly stroke the very next day.

                                          Chapter Three

When the pigs woke they thought it seemed a very windy day. They were worried a storm was brewing, and although their bungalows were very sturdily built, they had never had to go through a storm.

When they came outside to investigate, they realised that it

was not the wind huffing and puffing, but the BIG BAD WOLF.

They were just about to run when they noticed how ill the wolf looked.

The first little pig, who was very kind hearted, went over to the wolf.

“What pink eyes you’ve got” he said to the wolf, “and you are huffing and puffing much worse than usual.”

“Yes,” said the wolf, “I dropped all my medicines in the lake as I rowed over to eat...I mean see you.”

“Oh dear,” said the first little pig. “Can we help you find them?”

“I don’t think so, “ said the big bad wolf, “ I don’t suppose you can swim, never mind dive.”

Just then the second little pig arrived. “What’s he come for?” he asked.

“He came to see us and he’s dropped his tablets and inhaler into the water on his way over,” explained the first pig.

“I don’t believe him” said the second little pig, “And anyway why is he wearing that party dress?”                                                                               

“It’s a long story,” said the wolf, “But I was on my way back from a ball at the palace when the wheel fell off my carriage.”

“Yes, and I can fly,” squeaked the third little pig.

The wolf’s huffing and puffing was getting worse. “I need my inhaler,” he said.

Just then Goldilocks arrived. “Who are you?” she asked the wolf.

 “The seven dwarves, who do you think?” replied the wolf.

“Why are you wearing that dress and huffing and puffing fit to blow a house down? “ asked Goldilocks.

“He’s got asthma and he’s dropped his inhaler in the lake,”  the first little pig explained.

“That doesn’t explain the dress!” Goldilocks said.

“He says he was coming home from a ball at the palace,” the second little

pig told her.

“And I suppose you three can fly!” exclaimed Goldilocks, “Now I’ve heard everything.”

The big bad wolf suddenly fell on the floor and turned a strange blue colour.

“Quick,” said the first pig, “We must find his inhaler.”

The three little pigs took it in turns to swim underwater and see if they could find it. They couldn’t stay down for long because the water got in their snouts.

At last, the second little pig came up waving his trotters and shouting,

“I think I’ve got it, I think I’ve got it!”

“Well done” said Goldilocks, “Bring it here quickly.”

“I can’t lift it on my own,” said the second pig.

“Don’t be silly, “ snapped Goldilocks, “This is no time to mess about.”

“I’m serious, it’s twice as big as me and it weighs a ton, “ said the pig.

“Are you sure you know what you’re looking for?” asked the first little pig.

“Yes, something to help the big bad wolf breathe,” said the pig, “and that’s what I’ve found. “

The other two little pigs went with their brother to find out why he couldn’t lift the inhaler. It turned out that he’d found a huge oxygen tank and breathing mask which must have been left by a diver years before.

As it was the best they could do, they dragged it over to the big bad wolf.

They rubbed the old rusty tap with some butter, and turned it on.

Then they put the mask over the wolf ‘s nose and mouth. Before long he was breathing normally again. 

“Thank you, “ he said, “I thought I was going to die.”

“You’ve still got very pink eyes,” said Goldilocks.

“You’ve still got a very pink dress, “ said the third little pig.

“Do you think I could come into your bungalow for a cup of tea,” asked the wolf.

“Not by the hair of our chinny chin chin we will not let you in, “ said the three pigs together.

“Don’t be so selfish” said Goldilocks, “Can’t you see he’s ill.”

“Well he’ll have to sit on the floor,” said the first little pig.

“Somebody sat on our chairs and broke them.”

They helped the wolf into the second pig’s bungalow and put the pot on to boil.

The wolf began to get breathless again.

After a while they all sat down to a cup of tea and a bowl of porridge.

“Tell us about the dress, “ said Goldilocks.

“You wouldn’t believe me, “ said the big bad wolf.

“Try us,“ said the third little pig, who had always enjoyed stories.

Chapter Four.

“Well, my mother died and my father married a cruel wolf with two ugly cubs. They made me do all the work. I was very unhappy.

One day an invitation came from the palace. It invited all wolf cubs to go to the palace and see the Emperor in his new clothes. Naturally I couldn’t go in the old rags I was forced to wear, so I went into the kitchen and began to    cry.

My tears fell on an old rusty lamp, and when I rubbed them off, a genius was standing there.”

“Don’t you mean a genie?” asked Goldilocks.

“No, a genius,” said the wolf. “It was my reflection.”

“Go on,” said the third little pig.

“Well I decided that I would go to the ball wearing just my fur and no clothes so that’s what I did.

When I got there, to my surprise, the Emperor was wearing exactly the same outfit.

Everything went O.K until a little boy shouted out that neither of us had any    clothes on. The Emperor was even more embarrassed than me.

We ran out of the ballroom and upstairs.   

I went to the first wardrobe I could find and pulled on this dress.

Then I hitched a ride in a passing carriage.

It was about midnight by this time, and the carriage began to shake and  rattle. I thought the wheel had fallen off so I jumped clear.

When I looked round, the carriage had disappeared and all I could see was a pumpkin and some mice in the middle of the road.”

“Well that’s the biggest load of rubbish I’ve ever heard, “ said the first little pig, and he slammed out of the bungalow.

“I said you wouldn’t believe me,” moaned the wolf.

“I believe you,” whispered Goldilocks kindly.

“I don’t,” said the third little pig, “but it was a jolly good story.”

The wolf had another bowl of porridge and then said he would be on his way.

“Can I have a lift in your boat?” asked Goldilocks, “It’s a bit cold and dark to swim back tonight.”

“Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin, I will not let you in,” answered the  wolf. 

“Well you nasty spiteful old wolf, “ shouted the second little pig, “and after

all we’ve done for you. Throw some more coal on that fire brother, I think

this old wolf needs to learn a lesson.”

At that, the big bad wolf ran out of the bungalow shouting,

“Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin, you will not put me in.”

“Let him go,” said Goldilocks, “I’ll sleep here tonight and swim home in the morning.”

“Where will you sleep?” asked the second little pig.

Goldilocks looked at him, “Wouldn’t you lend me your bed for the night?”

“Sorry,” said the third little pig, “but nobody’s sleeping in MY bed.”

“And nobody’s sleeping in MY bed,” said the second little pig.

So Goldilocks made her way to the first little pig’s bungalow.

The first little pig was still walking round the island in a huff,

so Goldilocks went upstairs and laid down on his bed.

                                           Chapter Five

When the first little pig came in from his walk, he noticed there was no porridge on the table. Then he noticed that his chair had been turned into a cricket set and a swimming float.

 He stormed upstairs, and there to his horror, he found that someone was sleeping in his bed.

He ran downstairs and into his brother’s bungalow.

“Somebody’s sleeping in MY bed,” he wailed.

“I expect it’s Goldilocks,” said the second little pig. “She wanted to sleep in our beds, but we told her, not by the hair of our chinny chin chin she was not getting in.”

“Well thank you VERY much,” said the first little pig, “so you sent her to  me!”

“We didn’t send her, she just went, “ said the third pig. “You know what she’s like. It’s not the first time she’s slept in somebody’s bed without asking.”

“Well it might be the last,” said the first little pig.

“Where’s that wolf when we need him?”

 “He’s gone,” said the second pig. “He didn’t like it when we heated the pot up.  Look you can sleep on my sofa for tonight but don’t expect to do it regularly.”

So the first little pig slept on the sofa and the other two slept in their beds.

Next morning when the first pig went back to his bungalow, Goldilocks had gone.

On the pillow was a note.......

This bed is much too hard, next time I come I will try the second little pig’s bed.” Underneath in brackets it said, “(only joking!)”

So Goldilocks and the three pigs lived happily ever after and the big bad wolf never came back.

                                            THE END.                          

April 10, 2021 01:26

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