Familiar

I gotta get out, I gotta get out

Those were the words that rattled in my brain as the wave of people danced and chattered around me. A ball of noise that was exploding in my mind. Wierdly, I felt eyes bore into my back. Or maybe it was just my imagination.

Where is Za?

Wasn't she supposed to stay with me?

Is that her?

Flashing colors of yellow, purple, blue, and red swarmed around me. Unfamiliar faces flashed past me in a frenzy. Calm down. Calm down. Flowers littered the floor in various patterns. The smell of food wafted through the air. A child was crying somewhere. Where do I go? Desperate to get away or find a familiar face, I swivered around. Nothing. Anxiety showered me. My feet carried me until I could feel the air rush back in my lungs.

You'll enjoy it they said.

Go have fun they said.

What do you do at a Spring Festival anyway?

I had emerged at the top of a hill. Sun-dipped grass swayed with the wind. You could see the sun slide into the bottom of the horizon, leaving a sky of canvas filled with spilled paint. Tops of cities shone like a beacon. It was truly... enthralling. The hum of cicadas filled the evening. It gave me a sense of peace.

"Beautiful isn't it?", a voice said. I whipped my head around, unaware I was accompanied. It was a boy with long hair that kissed his shoulders and eyes serenely closed.

"Yeah, it is." I finally whispered after some time. It felt weird to even think of talking at a normal level, it was like being at the library; don't disrupt the silence.

My palms were sweaty and I could feel sweat dripping underneath my arms. What was I supposed to do? Would it be rude to walk away? Does he want me to sit next to him? Unsure of what to do, I quietly sat. The poke of grass tips bit through my jeans.

"You're in my mind, you're in my dreams, I'm freaking out, I don't want to leave. So selfishly, I want you and nobody else."

"Excuse me, what?" This was weird. This felt weird. Or at least I think it was supposed to be. Those words, I've heard them before.

A smile quirked on his face, but his eyes remained shut. Was he blind or something? Really into the moment? Oh wait, did I ruin his meditation? Frantically, I ran through what I could say to fill in the silence. Nothing seemed right. "Would you mind telling me your name?" There's nothing harmful attached to that right? A look of apprehension crossed his face, then quickly died. Something about him seemed unnatural, but I couldn't quite place a finger on it.

Instead of answering my question, he asked, "Have you ever wondered what it means to love?"

"Ummmm... well, it means an intense feeling of deep affection according to the dictionary."

A sigh escaped his lips. "That's not what I mean. But do tell me what you think it means."

I thought about it for a while and then simply stated, "I believe that love is boundless and has no true definition to categorize it by. It can be classified in many ways."

"Ah, I see. Love can be a dangerous thing indeed. I believe that falling truly in love has nothing to do with the "weak in the knees feelings". It can, but what about looking at their soul and just staring in awe? A personality that just balances you out and makes you want more of them. The face that lies at the front of your mind before you sleep. The voice that whispers in your head and their dreams that live in you. You want all of them and accept their imperfections because you know that is what it means to be alive. The reason you wake up in the morning because you know they're there. The other half of you continues to grow. You feel calm when you're with them. You know that they can make it better and hold you tighter. Someone that reads your music. Someone that can pick out the details of your canvas and not just label it, but also discover it. You're also at-"

That apprehensive look crossed his face once more and a sharp feeling of irritation sparked in me. Why won't he continue? Why does he seem scared? Suspicious, I cleared my throat and knocked him out of his scared shock. "What did you say your name was? Who are you? I'm not sure I remember seeing you when I got up here."

Cooly, he replied, "What's it to you and what will it matter if you know my name?"

I wasn't sure how to reply to that. Normally, No one ever questions something simple like that. It's normal to receive someones name and basic information. "Well, I don't know if you know, but when meeting someone new, it's normal to introduce yourself."

"Normal?" Mockery filled his voice. "Tell me what normal is or is your normal simply your societies standards?"

Carefully considering his words, I said, "Well yeah, that's kind of how it works. Different places have different standards, but I never said you absolutely have to abide by them."

"True, you seem discontented and stirred up. Get well soon."

Shocked by his choice of words, I was ready to fire back, but a bubbly, recognizable voice suddenly called my name.

"Ian! Is that you? We've been looking for you."

It was Za. Relief poured in me. A familiar face peaked over the edge of the hill. "You coming?", she asked with a crooked smile.

"Yeah, wait a sec."

I turned back to my hillside companion. "You never finished your-" But I was cut short. He wasn't there. I didn't even hear him leave. In bewilderment, I slowly treaded down the hill to an amused Za tapping her foot impatiently.

"Took you long enough. Why do you look like that? Were you by yourself? Let's go. Hurry up." My mind on something else, I disregarded her bombardment of questions and looked back at the top of the hill.

A delicate face smiled back at me. It was him. No longer in his serene state, his face was filled with...micheviousness. And those eyes, a shockingly bright violet. Unatural. Wait is his hair blue? I must be crazy. I shook my head and he was gone. "So," Za was telling me, completely unaware that I hadn't been listening. "You missed out on a lot. Everyone from school was there. There was fireworks too. It's kinda weird to host a Spring Festival during the beginning of Summer, but whatever I guess."

She linked arms with me and lead me to the stream of people having the time of their lives. Her arms felt warm against me. In her brown eyes, a gleam winked at me. Her face was filled with excitement. I smiled for the first time today.

A gigantic ferriswheel carried friends and couples pointing out the fireworks. Long lines led to food stalls. The night sky was star-spangled with flecks of white. It didn't feel like something I had to escape from anymore. Za's familiar voice was here. Was home.

Get better soon. Am I sick?

Suddenly, they popped in my head. "Starlight, starlight, with you shining in my mind." , I murmured.

"What?"

"Don't worry about it."

One last time, I glanced back at the hill. What? Where did it go?

We sat down on a bench and she leaned her head into my shoulder. I gazed at her noticing how she felt alive with energy. Curly hair drifted down her back. Paint was splattered on her cheek. A paintbrush was tucked behind her ear. Wow. Red creaped up my neck.

"Look!", she exclaimed. Fireworks popped across the sky in a variety of colors. Her face was a mask of awe. It was...one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.

Close to me, you are all of me