Jump

Three times. That is the number of times Kira had a dream about the same place.

It was a frozen lake, with the ice in chunks, where cold black water seeped through the cracks. A strange, almost purple fog would always hang over the dream’s setting.

The first time Kira was there, wilderness surrounded the lake, with seemingly no one around. She was quite young back then and had been running away in the dream. Chased by heaven knows what, she never knew, but there was always an animal-like instinct that kept her running.

A dead-end came.

Full of fear, she halted at the lake, afraid to fall through the cracked ice. With no other direction to go, she jumped up and spread her wings, into flight.

Each time she leaped into the air however, there always seemed to be the sensation of iron shackles, much like a prisoner’s, weighing her down. Nevertheless, she pushed on the air with her feathered palms as if it was a surface, and pulled herself up.

It was all for nothing.

The moment she soared above the lake, an arrow flew out from the thick forest, piercing her heart.

Falling. Falling again.

It was all for nothing.

She had hesitated and paid the price. As she fell through the air, the ice, and the endless black water, she let herself become numb.

That night, at only ten years old, she woke up in cold sweat and refused to sleep until the morning rolled in.

The second time she dreamed of the lake it was wintertime once more. The season may have stayed the same, but the setting had changed around the lake completely. Thick forests and mountains still surrounded the lake, but in addition there was a village, along with people bundled up in shawls running around. Men and children looking for firewood, and old ladies bargaining at an outdoor market. Kira listened in on what language they spoke, and found it to be Russian.

By that time, Kira was fifteen, and it had been ten years since she was back home. It surprised her that she would even be able to still have a dream in a language she was slowly forgetting. The dream only lasted what felt like a minute.

Upon waking up, Kira made a promise to herself to try not to forget her native tongue.

The last time, the dream started like the first time she was there. Running away.

This time however, there was an entire city beyond the lake, with next to no remnants of the village that once was. A road bridge was now over the area where the ice was the thinnest. The fog had grown thicker, distorting her vision. Like the first time, she jumped into the air, hoping for flight.

Which way was up?

Which way was down?

Kira lost all sense of direction, helplessly flailing in the air, before falling into a snowy meadow right at the edge of the lake. A piercing pain shot through her head.

‘An arrow?’ She thought of the worst possible outcome.

But death did not come, nor was there an arrow. She had simply fallen head first on a hard chunk of ice.

Kira touched her forehead, and upon bringing her hand down, noticed the vibrant red on her fingertips.

Crimson met white as fresh droplets fell on the ground. Even with her vision swimming, she tried to stand up. Gravity pulled her back down.

Blinking through hot tears, Kira tried to see what was in front of her. There was someone just ahead, waiting. Three animal-like figures, like giant bats with the ears of a rabbit, and a man by a campfire.

The beasts started to move closer, inching towards her like wolves towards a helpless wounded animal. Kira prayed that she would wake up already, away from the nightmare, into her warm blankets and pillows.

The man by the campfire rose his hand.

“No need. This person is just passing by.” He spoke in a hoarse voice.

This time Kira understood perfectly, because she kept her promise.

The beasts sat down, like obedient watchdogs.

The mysterious man remained seated where he is, warming his hands by the fire. A strong gust of wind blew, moving the snow and fog, and suddenly the four figures were gone. The world grew darker, and colder. Kira curled up, starting to feel number and number from pain and cold.

Surely she would wake up soon.

Instead, someone scooped her up into their arms. She could barely feel at this point, and it all seemed like a dream within a dream. The crunching in the snow of the individual’s steps was barely audible. She could hear crying, but could not identify who’s it was. With a last ounce of energy, she shifted her head to look up at her savior. The familiarity of the person’s face made her feel at ease, though she had no idea who they were.

This time she woke in the hospital, as white as the snowy landscape in her dream.

The same person sat by the hospital bed, holding tightly onto her bandaged and tube-covered hand. They slept soundly with their head on the hospital bed and their body in the chair. A strong sense of familiarity and care washed over Kira, but her mind could not grasp who this person was. Family? A friend? She could not pinpoint it.

“Why’d you do it Kira?”

The person had woken up. She noticed the dried tears on their cheeks, and found her heart aching as she answered with a question.

“Do what?”

“Jump.”

“When did I jump?”

“By the bridge at the lake,” The person squeezed her hand. “I didn’t even get the chance to meet you yet. And you almost ended it all.”

Kira looked to her side to see the person. Dark furrowed eyebrows and brown eyes. So similar to herself, yet so different.

Their other hand extended and wiped away tears that she did not even realize where falling.

“Lets meet back by the lake again. Here, in this city.” They paused, as if to think of their words carefully.

“Stay strong for me, okay?”

Kira did not know what they meant. She answered anyway.

“Okay.”

Kira woke up for the second time, this time in cold sheets of her bedroom. The person was gone.

Memories of the dreams dispersed from her mind as she desperately tried to hold onto the memory of the person who made her feel at peace.

She took two important things from the dream. The promise to stay okay, the cold frozen lake.

On the airplane with her last travel money, she was off to attend a university in her homeland. Time flies.

She stands at the lake once more, this time outside of her dreams. She managed to find it, in the Ural Mountains. The city was more vibrant now. She just stood there, captivated by it.

At the edge of the lake she no longer jumped in fear, but walked on forward.

She would be okay.