The Coming of Isaac

This was supposed to be the happiest day of their lives. Many people mistake that day as their wedding day, but plenty of people can have several of those. No, the happiest day is to know that the person you love is alright, and safe. To feel their warmth in the bed beside you. Though, no one ever thinks of how sweet these things are until they’ve left you. 

When the German bombs started raining down and the guns began to ring into the night, like most of the other men in the neighborhood Lizzy’s husband enlisted in the war. Gone off overseas to fight in someone else’s battle. It had been two years since Lizzy had last seen her husband. 

Their old house looked the same as she had left it, but it was different somehow. Bigger, if not emptier. Colder, if not stuffier. It was the first time she had been back since her trip to the station to see Isaac off. The image of him in his uniform, smiling brightly as she watched the train pull away lived vividly in her thoughts. He hugged her so tightly and kissed her cheek deeply at the boarding station to ease her unrest. Seeing herself now was like gazing at another person entirely. Her deep brown hair once in tight curls had come loose and frizzy, and her lips painted bright red to contrast her fair complexion had faded into her chapped skin. 

When Isaac went away, Lizzy couldn’t stand the blank new walls that she wished to fill with their pictures. She couldn’t sit at the new kitchen table for dinner, or sleep in their new hardly broken in bed. It wasn’t their new home if she was the only one living in it. So, she did the only thing she could think of, took up nursing. The mail had stopped coming as the war thickened, and she could feel her mind fester. But if she was a nurse, she wouldn’t need to dwell in such thoughts, she would know for sure. But as she got ready to be shipped off, the war had abruptly ended. 

The central train station came alive almost as it did on Christmas. Lizzy could almost go back and make herself forget her fears and wifely woes. Woman and children rushed inside to greet the boys back home. Each girl decked out in the prettiest dress that they could afford, their hair in perfect rolls, and makeup styled with precision. The kids were scrubbed clean, wearing nicely fitting clothes, smiles bright to greet daddy back home. 

The grand sphinx statues stared blankly ahead, details chipped away and smoothed by past rains. The air grew cold as winter rushed in, the nights grew long, and Lizzy’s yearning even longer. 

The hundreds of little stores in the station were brightly lit. Fresh wreaths that smelled of strong pine decorated the store fronts. Little nutcracker soldiers stood tall in the windows and teddy bears laid in the faux fabric snow. 

Every bit of the station was the same way as when Isaac had left it. The carolers’ bright voices carrying throughout the building, roasted chestnuts wafting through the air from carts, and laughter of young children as they stared joyously into windows. It felt like the many times they walked the station together as they window shopped. Basking in the bright glow of the hopeful December light. 

When Isaac came back, she wondered if it all would be the same. If he would be the same. 

Isaac hadn’t arrived on the third train from California, as expected of his clumsiness. Knowing her husband well, Lizzy was forced to assume he had missed his stop. When he didn’t get off his next train, Lizzy became slightly anxious. She checked the message board beside the information booth by the front of the station, where people pinned notes just in case Isaac had come early or there was a change in schedule. She had no way of knowing where he was and if something had happened. No way to check on him, or help if he’d lost his way, there was nothing to do but wait. She ate a pretzel that smudged her red lipstick onto her pale painted cheek. The tart taste of salt crystals dissolving sourly on her tongue. She read the newspaper headlines a second, then a third time. She read the articles repeatedly, trying to eat away at time and free herself of her anxious thoughts. Her brain never processing the words written on the page.  

Trains came and emptied, spilling out onto the platform many uniforms and reunions. Woman and men’s laugh mixed together in song. By the last train of the night, she was frantic with worry. Isaac never would have left her without word. It wasn’t until a gray-haired lieutenant came toward her with an expression of regret and then she’d known. Her knees became weak when she seen her nations flag draped over her husbands casket. The great red striped banner accenting the mahogany wood. The land of the free they called it, but what's so free about pressuring young men to fight and die in wars. Their bodies being dragged home to families that've grown cold and empty.

She’d never get her reunion like so many other young couples. She was twenty-four and already widowed by a man she thought she had an eternity with. Every memory became distant, until so did she. Mourning a future they could never have, and a child that would never be born. A home that was never there's, and dinners never shared. 

Sometimes Lizzy wondered if it was for the best. The reunion joys had fallen short and the boy's faces had grown pale and sullen. Their eyes were devoid of joy, and the bags under their eyes denied them of sleep. They found comfort in bars, and loud noises sent their minds into a hazed frenzy. She could never imagine her Isaac that way, he was much too kind, too soft at times. Boys go to wars and come back men they said, but instead they came back scared, and scarred by the horrors of war. She couldn’t stomach to see Isaac that way, and silently kicked herself for the thought. What length would she go to hold him again, but would he want to be held? 

Each memory was so bittersweet and fleeting. A future they thought that they were promised had been cut short, quick and violent. Her home will never be warmed by the joy of children, and her bed never warmed by his touch. Her heart never warmed by his words, and she feared the halls of her home would remain cold forever. The memories she had were all she’d ever get, and however plentiful she craved more. There was still so much to do, but by then it was too late.