Speeding Ticket Jones

Tia’s Grill had been on this street since before Damien was born, and seeing as how it was always full of people, would probably be there long after he was gone. There was a different mural painted on each wall, with colorful paper decorations hung neatly from the ceiling. The bar was in the center of the place, lit mostly by the three mini tv’s put up in the back by the all the bottles of liquor. The regular bartender was there, mixing drinks to make his own sort of magic. 

‘Alcohol magic would probably be pretty useful’ he thought as a waiter passed the table with a tray full of smoking fajitas.

Everyone but Beckett was on their second margarita, and they were probably on their third basket of chips. They’d talked mostly about work, sharing both their horror stories and the funny ones. The comfort brought by the top-notch heater combined with the energetic chatter from the other diners around them did a great job at keeping the rainstorm — and the nervousness surrounding incoming news about the Blood Break— at bay. The Blood Break had launched another attack two days before, making people in both Annapolis and Sacramento go berserk. The death toll was still rising, and everyone was on edge. For now, though, Damien was preoccupied with getting to know his new friends. Ellie’s brother had pulled out a notepad with what Damien assumed to be questions scribbled all over it. He was relieved. Even other witches weren’t keen on interacting with people born with death magic, let alone the magic-less. 

“Okay so do you only see people, or is there other stuff too, like a face-stealer or something wicked?” Cyrus asked. 

The table shifted as Ellie kicked him under it, hard. 

“Shit El, what was that for?” He groaned. 

“Because he isn’t the freakin Avatar, dumbass! Be respectful,” she signed quickly, unamused by his question. 

Damien laughed, he’d been compared to a lot worse. Nobody really asked him what Other World was like before, and he certainly didn’t try to spend much time thinking about it. He tried to remember some of the weirder stuff he had seen there that wouldn’t ruin everyone’s appetites while Cyrus translated for Beckett. She’d been picking up ASL at the speed of light, but as with any non-primary language, it gets harder to understand the less sober you become. 

“It’s mostly people, but there are some weird things sometimes. That side has these things that look like deer, but they have wings. They’re definitely not deer though. Also I saw a lot of birds with antlers, I think those are the spirit world version of pigeons,” He explained. 

“Antlers, really?” Ellie asked after taking a sip of her drink. “The spirit world has cooler pigeons then NYC.” 

He nodded. The spirit world was honestly full of freaky shit, but the pigeons were okay. 

“So if there are pigeons in the spirit world, that means they’re dead, right?” Beckett asked, still talking just the smallest bit slower for him to read her lips, despite him telling her multiple times that she could talk normally and he’d be just fine. 

“No, that’s how it works for people. Animals I can still see when they’re alive. They just look different. Like cows, they’re smaller. And they glow.” 

Cyrus eyes widened. “That’s so cool!” 

“Sometimes. But sometimes it’s just creepy.” 

He popped a chip in his mouth. 

“Which animals are the creepiest? I bet spiders look scary as shit.” 

Damien looked at Beckett nervously. “Actually, no. They look pretty much the same, It’s the rabbits that are the scariest goddamn things I’ve ever seen.” 

Cyrus looked back between him and Beckett, who was waiting on Cyrus’ translation. “Does she have one?” 

“Do I have a what?” She asked suspiciously. 

“A rabbit,” Cyrus answered. 

She squinted at Damien. “I do. Why? Are they bad luck or something?” 

Damien briefly wondered if she still had her gun with her. 

He signed while trying to keep his face as neutral as possible. “They have way too many eyes, like a spider. And their mouths go back really far, like the cheshire cat, but with human teeth. And they’re big. Really big. I hate them.” 

Ellie’s shoulders shook beside him, and when he turned to look at her she had her hand covering her mouth in a poor attempt at hiding a laugh. 

“You mean she has a monster in her house, eating carrots and leaving little pellets everywhere,” she signed. 

“That’s just what their souls look like! I’m sure he’s very cute, or at least less eldritch."

Cyrus turned to Beckett, laying both hands on her shoulders. “My lady, your rabbit has a fugly soul. My condolences.” 

Her face turned pale. “What do you mean his soul is fugly, is Ticket sick?” 

“Nah, he’s cool. Right Damien?” 

Damien nodded. “He’s just horrifying to look at in the spirit world.” 

“Yep, he says he’s just fine.” 

Ellie tapped Cyrus on the arm to get his attention. “Is her rabbit actually named Ticket?” 

Even through the slight intoxication, Beck appeared to understand the question just fine. 

“If you asked about my rabbit’s name… technically his full name is Speeding Ticket,” she answered, pursing her lips as laughter erupted at the table. “Hey! Look, there’s a reason for it, okay? I hadn’t planned on adopting the puffy bastard, but I stopped in to drop off some tennis balls for the dogs at the shelter and started walking around the place. I got to the small pets part— you know, for hamsters and stuff— and there he was. Just sittin’ in this itty bitty cage, looking sad as hell. He looked soft, and I was tired, so I thought maybe I could make us both feel a little better by just pettin’ him for a second.” 

She paused to take a sip of her drink.

“So,” she continued, "I asked if I could hold him, and they said he was gonna be euthanized in an hour so make it quick. So there I am, holding this freakin’ depressed rabbit who’s like the size of a bag of chips, and I just… I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t let them kill the lil guy. When I said I was takin’ him with me, they didn’t even charge me for him. Just put him in a cardboard box and handed him over.” 

Damien had never seen Beckett get teary eyed before, but now her eyes were shining and she had a sincere grin on her face, her gaze trained down at her hands. 

“Anyway, since I didn’t plan on adopting him, I didn’t have anything for him back at my place. So I had to stop by the pet store and get him some food and whatever the hell else a rabbit needed. Except on the way there I got pulled over for doing fifty in a forty, and the dude gave me a speeding ticket. And I couldn’t come up with a name so I just started callin’ him Ticket, and it stuck.” 

So now, technically, he was friends with one tide witch, her magic-less brother, and a formerly witch-hating cop with a rabbit named Speeding Ticket Jones. 

“Becky,” Cyrus said, deadpan, “I will protect that bunny with my life.“

They talked more about Speeding Ticket for the rest of the night, Beckett telling Cyrus about how he’s a free range rabbit, and how he’s refused to leave her alone since day one so he sleeps on a pillow by her head, and how she didn’t care if his soul was ugly because outside he was ‘cuter than most babies’. 

It was drizzling outside by the time they left, the sidewalks and streets reflecting the moonlight like mirrors. He walked home with Ellie on his arm. She was more tired than he was, leaning her head against his arm as they meandered home.

“If she brings that ugly little thing anywhere near me, I’’m still going to kick it into the Hudson.”  He signed. 

“Do that and I’ll kick you in next.” 

“Don’t worry, I’d dive in after him and she’d beat me up after.”