Milo and Nate

“Why did you have to go and piss off Kate’s dad?” I asked.

“I was hungry!” Nate replied.

“So, you ate his cheesecake and called him a fat cheapskate?”

“Hey, it's not my fault he buys from Walmart.”

“Yeah, but you didn't have to insult him!”

“It was worth it.”

“You're such a jerk! I don’t know why I hang out with you.”

“Cuz you love me.”

I sighed.  

 “Come back here, you bastards!” Mr. Cunningham exclaimed.

“Kiss our asses, fatty!”

“Did your parents drop you on your head when you were a baby?”

“No.” Nate paused. “I mean I don’t think they did.”

I rolled my eyes as I heard Mr. Cunningham huffed and puffed behind.

“They took pretty good care of me except when mom forgot me at the mall… and when Dad accidentally hit—"

“OK, Nate, I get it… And by the way, he’s not fat.”

“I know that. I just like to call my enemies fat.”

“Well, it's your fault he doesn’t like us.”

“’Yeah, I know. we’ve been over this.”

“I’m gonna kill you two!” our new enemy yelled behind.

“You see what you do?” I whined.

“Hey, I don’t always mess things up!” Nate protested.

“What about when you rollerbladed into my birthday cake?... or when you spilled chocolate milk on Kate’s white dress? Or—"

“OK, OK, you're right! I mess things up.”

I looked back as the stacked dude ran after us. His face was as red as a cherry. I could have sworn his handlebar mustache bobbed up and down. “I can do this all day!” he sneered.

I looked at Nate. “You're not worth it, you know.”

“I know,” he smirked

“Now, he won’t let me see Kate.”

“You can at school.”

“Here, I’ll probably have bodyguards around her,”

“I could get teargas and throw it at them.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Nothing. Why do you ask?”

“Just curious,” I replied as my legs felt like they could detach from my hips and run off at any minute.

“Oh, OK.”

“If we survive this, you don’t do anything stupid for a month.”

“Deal.”

“When I catch you, you're dead meat!”

“Can you be more cliché than that?” Nate commented.

I slapped him upside the head. “Quit pissing him off!”

“You know, you don’t have to hit.”

“Just shut up."

“How rude!” Nate exclaimed as we crossed the bridge.

“It's also your sister's fault. If she hadn’t made us go to his house to ask him to unground his daughter, we wouldn't be in this mess!” I said, panting.

“Hey! Don’t criticize my sister, and I thought it was my fault.”

“Yes, your fault too. You know I'm right.”

“Yeah, you are.”

“How would you like some killer bees?” Mr. Cunningham’s voice came out low and hoarse.

“What'?” I blurted out.

“I have some with me in a jar.”

“He’s bluffing!” Nate said.

“No, I’m not!”

“Yes, you are!”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are!”

“No, I’m n—"

“SHUT UP!” I hollered as Nate and I crossed the stream.

“I’m not bluffing as I released them!”   

Loud buzzing echoed in my eardrums.

“Shit!”

Nate screamed and flailed his arms as the bees swarmed around him. One flew past him and aimed its stinger toward him. I reached my hand out and swatted the little bastard. “Watch out, Milo!”

I looked ahead in time for branches to slap my face.

Mr. Cunningham laughed. “Yes, my buzzing buddies, get them and you can have all the mechanics honey in the world!”

“Huh?” Nate blurted out.

I looked at the bees and noticed they were made of metal.

“Huh? They're robot bees?” I said.

“How clever you are!” Mr. Cunningham mused.

One flew in Nate’s nose. His face twitched. “HAUH… HAUH… HAUH-CHOO!” The bees flew out of his nose.

“How do you like my robobees? Serves you right! after what you did to me!”

“We're sorry, OK? We won't do it again!”

“Apologies are like stinky little weasels. They stink!” Mr. Cunningham exclaimed.

“What kind of analogy is that? You used stink twice,” Nate replied.

“Man, will you stop criticizing him?”

“What?”

“You're making it worse!”

“But his analogy was repetitive.”

“I don’t care. Shut up!”

“OK,” Nate said and gasped. Look, Milo, a beaver!”

“I don’t care about beavers, Nate!”

“But, I never saw one in real life before!” Nate whined.

“Alright, I'll make a deal with you, if we survive this, I’ll take you to see beavers.”

“Wow! Really?”

“Yes, but we have to get through this alive first,” I said as we ran through the meadow.

“Sounds good to me!”

“Yeah, so focus so we can escape this maniac!”

“That’s it! I’ve had it! Prepare to meet your doom!” Mr. Cummingham said and cackled. “Harold Cunningham the fifth, reconstruct!”

We watched in shock as his hands and feet became black and round. He fell to the ground. His butt stretched out and formed into a trunk.

We suddenly were gawking at a Jeep with a sniper rifle on the top.

“What the Hell?” I blurted out.

“We must be dreaming or something,” Nate said.

The Jeep laughed. “No, I’m afraid you're not dreaming. Welcome to my nightmare!” He revved his engine.      

“How is that possible?” Nate asked.

“I have no idea!” I whined 

as we passed a family] of rabbits. 

“It's no use running!" Mr. Cunningham honked.

“What the Hell are you?!” I shouted.

“Your worst nightmare.” Mr. Cunningham cackled and a gun rose up from the top.

“Ah, shit!” I exclaimed and it began firing.

I dodged.

“I have you now!”

We ran on the dirt road. My legs were getting tired. my heart pounded in my chest.

“Give up and accept your fate!"

“HE’S GONNA SHOOT! SWERVE!” I shouted, pushing Nate. .We turned and we heard the gunshot, My heart leapt in my chest. POW!

I saw him beside me. “Say goodbye, you bastard!” he said and I closed my eyes, waiting for it to end... then a beep went off. “What no, no, no! I forgot to refuel!” He stopped. The engine died.

“Now what?” I asked.