Lost in another image

I shouldn't have done that.

 That’s all I can think of in my dark cell. It was stupid, really, to think that I, of all people, could get away with something that huge. But the urge was so strong, I couldn't resist.

I decided to kill the Prince.

Me, his soon to be wife, decided to end his miserable life, and in plain sight.

I still don't know what made me do it.

Was it for power?

No. That I am sure.

Was it for revenge?

No. Truthfully, there was nothing big enough I would be angry enough to resort to killing him.

So why on earth would I do it?

Maybe… I was feeling trapped. Trapped under this image. All I was to everyone else, including my fiancé, was a soon to be queen. Part of my husband’s image. Some of the other royals didn’t even know my name.

It infuriated me.

So here’s what happened.

 The plan had already formed in my head the night before as I slept. It was almost like a seed planted in my head.

I was going to kill Isaac Ravendell.

The next morning, I was determined to follow through with my outrageous plan. After being fitted by my personal maid in an outrageously large gown, I went off to breakfast. I entered into the large dining area of the castle. Most of the royal family was already seated, minus the king and queen. Firstly was my betrothed, Isaac, next in line for the crown, set to rule the Kingdom of Brenn. Next was his sister, Alice. Alice hated me almost enough to make me consider killing her instead. She hated me mostly because I had nearly ruined the tradition of the Ravendell family. I was born to a peasant family, and was hired as a maid in the castle. Isaac fell in love with me, and before I could even utter a word, I was set up to be his bride. Since I already lived in the castle, I was merely given new, and more glamorous, sleeping quarters. Alice hated that I, a peasant, managed to sneak my way into their family, and was going to marry the future king in three days. 

Next was Isaac's other sister, Josephine. She was nicer to me than Alice, but not by a lot. She always smiled and was polite to me, but I could tell that secretly she despised me.

Lastly was Josephine’s husband, Arthur. Arthur thought the same about me as his wife and sister in law thought. He smiled at me as I came in, but it was more of a grimace.

Isaac's smile was nicer, but still polite. To him I was merely there for his image, and I was supposed to keep my mouth shut and look pretty. I bowed as I entered and sat down beside Isaac.

“Hello darling,” he said. “How was your night?”

“Quite restful, your Majesty,” I said, dipping my head in a respectful bow. That was my role. Quiet, respectful, yielding. I hated it.

Isaac smiled at me, nodded, and returned to his breakfast. He and his sisters and Arthur spoke a little bit, making no move to bring me into the conversation. Despite being the future queen, I was not allowed to speak unless spoken to. That was the rule.

The King and Queen finally made their entrance.

King Henry held his wife by the arm. His stone cold gaze flicked over me as I stood with the rest of the family. It’s true, it was normally rare for the king to appear at breakfast, but he always made a point to come on the eleventh day of each moon. 

Queen Gabriella looked as majestic as always, with flowing golden hair and heart shaped lips. I sank into a low curtsy and then returned to my seat. I barely looked at my plate of food. I was starting to get nervous.

Time for stage one.

I carefully slipped the small bottle of sleeping medicine out of my pocket and into my sleeve. I carefully opened the cap, hoping nobody would notice my movements.

But of course no one did. They were all too focused on the guard that had entered the room to give the daily report of the kingdom. I scooted my chair the tiniest move towards Isaac. 

In one swift movement, I flicked my hand out carefully over Isaac’s plate and let the smallest specks of medicine flutter down onto his food. Just enough of it would make him drowsy enough that I could complete the next part of my plan. Isaac didn’t even notice as I slipped the bottle back into my pocket. I began to muse over how easy it would have been to use a poison and just kill him on the next bite he would take. But, alas, everyone would have known it was me if he died there at the table. After all, I would be sitting right next to him. 

 Soon the guard leaves, and not long after, breakfast ends.

Isaac, as always, took my arm and led me back to my room, where I would stay for the rest of the day unless I was summoned.

Time for stage two.

As we neared the last staircase we needed to ascend before getting to my room, I could feel Isaac’s grip begin to slack. Excitement rushed in my stomach, but I forced it down. Isaac stopped at the bottom of the stairs.

I turned to him.

“Your Majesty, are you feeling alright?” I asked innocently.

“Ah,” he said, putting his free hand on his temple. “Yes, my dear, I am alright. Just feeling a little dizzy.”

“Are you unwell?” I asked, putting as much concern in my voice as I could muster.

“I’m sure there will be no problem,” he assured me.

I hesitated, and then I nodded. Isaac began to lead me up the stairs again. I followed, and once we were almost to the top, I spun around.

Isaac looked at me, confused, and then his eyes widened as I gave a large shove, and he tumbled down the stairs. His head slammed into the marble ground as he reached the floor. Blood pooled around him. I hurried down the steps to make sure he was dead.

He wasn’t.

He looked up at me groggily, with a mixed look of betrayal and anger on his face. He looked confused, too.

I bent down beside him, and put my hand over his mouth and nose.

It was terrible, even I could hardly stand it. He struggled, and even though he was wounded and drugged, he put up a fight, and almost threw me off. But I held strong, and pressed even harder. 

He soon stopped moving completely. 

Once I was sure he’s dead, I got to my feet.

I heard a clatter behind me.

A frail old maid watched me kill the heir.

I started walking towards the lady. She started screaming, yelling for help. I could hear people coming. So I abandoned my plan to kill the maid, and turned and ran.

It wasn’t long before I was caught and thrown in the dungeons.

And now I am about to be hanged for my crimes. Treason. Murder. 

And I know I shouldn’t have done it. 

If I hadn’t, I would have lived a happy life with a husband and I would be queen. It would be wonderful.

But I wouldn’t be free.

I would have been lost. I

I would have been trapped.

But now I’m not. 

Now, even in this cell, I no longer need to bow to anyone.

I no longer need to cower behind other people.

I am no longer lost in another image.

And even if I am a terrible person…

It was still my choice.