Toby’s Mood Journal

Submitted into Contest #53 in response to: Write a story that begins with someone's popsicle melting.... view prompt

21 comments

General

16/07/20


Good: really hot day. Happier when the sun is shining.

Good: found a popsicle I’d forgotten at the back of freezer when putting food delivery away.

Bad: popsicle melted after I got it out and left it on the side while I hung laundry out to dry. It was my last one.



17/07/20


Bad: reading over yesterday’s entry and realizing something as innocuous as a melted popsicle can really negatively impact my mood.

Good: at least Dr Simpson will be pleased I’ve finally started this journal.

Bad: had the nightmares again.

Good: I just wanted to end an entry on a good note. Um...it’s Friday I guess?



18/07/20


Good: slept well. Went for a jog.

Bad: trod in dog dirt.

Good: now have excuse to buy the new trainers I’ve been wanting.

Good: felt better my landlord has a ‘no pets’ rule as there’s no way I’d be wanting to pick up after a dog all the time. I can’t even look after myself. So why inflict my incompetence on a living creature? Shoot…this was meant to be a ‘good’ entry.



20/07/20


Okay, so I didn’t write yesterday. But it was Sunday, and if I’m trying to give my life more structure I should do what other people normally do on Sundays – as little as possible.


Good: nice long sleep. No dreams this time, good ones or bad.

Bad: a friend text asking if I wanted to meet up. Still don’t feel ready to socialize – the virus is still out there. Felt bad that I’m so crap at being spontaneous these days. Am someone who once went to Prague by themselves on a whim. Now I feel I need at least three days of planning before visiting corner shop.

Good: realization other people are scared too. It’s all about how to accept these feelings and manage how I react to them.



21/07/20


Weekly video check in with Dr Simpson. He congratulated me for starting the journal and said it was an important step in measuring my emotions and will help me control them. I said my emotions begin juddering every time I start to write in it and an inner voice tells me off for ‘wasting time overthinking things’ when I could be working on That Book instead. But I also conceded it was nice to receive praise. He said maybe he’ll be praising That Book one day if I progress well enough to take on the demons standing in its doorway. I mean, he didn’t go on about demons and doorways, but that’s how I’ve come to see them.


Felt sad after session. Know I’m going to need many more and they really zap my energy. Wondered if I have chronic fatigue syndrome. Lost a couple of hours to looking it up online.


Felt better after pondering how counseling puts feelings under a microscope while I cooked a batch of chili. I’m chipping away at this wall of worries I’ve come up against and am looking forward to the path beyond. Also, I made a mean chili that I put in neat portions to freeze – should keep me going for days. Plus I saved money on the takeout I originally wanted.


Dr Simpson said these entries could take whatever form I liked and I should just go with the flow. So I guess this is the ‘wordy’ one.



22/07/20


Bad: woke up sweating, not from the nightmares but from the DANG HEAT.

Bad: showered, caught sight of self in mirror. Could use a haircut. Looks like a couple of possums are fighting for who gets to take what’s left of my mind. And I should lose the beer belly. Then I might actually stand a chance with women.


(This spiral continued until I convinced myself I’d die alone and unloved with hair reaching my ankles like a trellis propping up a weed of a man and never being able to see my dick again because of being pregnant with a baby Bud).


Good: got dressed. Felt better. I scrub up okay.



23/07/20


Good: I read back over the entries so far. I guess what I’ve found out is that I feel better after putting some effort in – like with the cooking, the getting dressed. So, short-term solutions (ordering takeout, going back to bed) are attractive, but things that take longer have better long-term benefits.

Bad: this entry makes me sound like an accountant.



24/07/20


Today a friend liked a post I made where I'd shared a meme about living with anxiety. Agonized over the meaning of the ‘like’ for hours. Emailed Dr Simpson whether I should go on medication as it’s NOT NORMAL to react to things like this.


He emailed back saying normal is relative and I ought to concentrate on one method at a time.


Spent rest of the evening on the sofa wondering if Dr Simpson thinks I’m incapable of multitasking.


Bad. Bad. Bad.



25/07/20


Good: feel better now it’s morning. The things I worry about seem so insurmountable at the time. Then I wake up and see how small they are.



27/07/20


Good: another hot day. Went for a walk. Saw ice cream van. Remembered untimely death of last popsicle. Decided to get one from van.

Bad: children not social distancing. Ice cream man not in full PPE.

Good: bought an ice cream cone with chocolate syrup and chopped nuts instead of boring-ass popsicle.

Bad: overheard child say to mom ‘I want ice cream!’. Mom said she’d put a banana in his rucksack and he should eat that instead.

Good: the mom got distracted and I gave the kid my cone. It feels nice to do things for others.


Lots of moods today. Overall, it was good to get out. I’m learning from the patterns in following my moodswings. Staying away from places children congregate in future will reduce my anxiety levels. Also good advice for a single dude to follow generally.



28/07/20


Video session with Dr Simpson. More praise for keeping diary. I said some days it reminds me of doing homework and I get anxious waiting for it to be marked, even though nobody is going to mark it and there’s no exam at the end.


I said about not liking how I looked and he said barbershops have reopened. That shows how little I pay attention to the news now. Really don’t have the inclination to deal with the world’s worries alongside my own atm.


Although…maybe it would help give me some perspective.



29/07/20


Good: reinstalled Twitter. Read lovely messages from acquaintances. RT’d a few hilarious videos.

Bad: also saw news. Lots and lots of news.



30/07/20


Good: managed a trip to the corner shop for essentials top-up. Resisted bottle of whiskey. Been too clean for too long. Don’t want to go down that route again.

Bad: saw local paper. SON OF MAYORESS HOSPITALISED BY ICE CREAM. Recognized banana-boy from the other day. Apparently he was allergic to nuts and went into anaphylactic shock.

Good: didn’t buy paper. Therefore stopping myself re-reading the story, contacting mayoress to confess, and ending up serving life in prison. Or worse, not allowing myself to buy ice cream ever again.



31/07/20


Bad: raining.

Good: productive day. Applied for three jobs. Dug out manuscript of That Book. Sorted groceries delivery. Remembered to re-order popsicles.

August 05, 2020 18:14

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21 comments

Thom With An H
13:23 Sep 03, 2020

This was really good. I am constantly amazed at how many different ways people can respond to a prompt. This was so unique and sneaky funny. I have to admit it was so good it made me wonder if there was some of you in it. You also varied the entries which helped it flow like a story and less like an antiseptic journal. You've got the good. You should write more, I have a feeling you have a lot more stories cooking in your head. :-) I have two recent stories I've submitted. One is called "My Best Friend Wants to Die" and the other ...

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Jonathan Blaauw
10:50 Sep 19, 2020

Thom, when you find good stories on here, you're meant to tell me so I can read them too! You kept this to yourself for over 2 weeks? Shame on you. I'll forgive this one slip, but no more, okay?

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Thom With An H
11:18 Sep 19, 2020

https://youtu.be/QZqfxoCYfxw

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Karen McDermott
07:16 Sep 14, 2020

Thank you for the kind feedback Thom, really appreciated! :) I will check out your stories when I have the chance. Thanks again!

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Jonathan Blaauw
10:47 Sep 19, 2020

I know that this is an old(ish) story, but don’t worry, now that I’m following you I’ll probably harass you weekly to write new ones like I do all my favorite authors. On here I mean. Not in real life (damn restraining orders, so annoying). I think journal entries can be an excellent way to tell a story, and you’ve shown that. It gives the reader a unique look into the main character’s head, and even though any FPS story can achieve a similar effect, there’s something a little more personal about doing it in diary form. This was a prompt ...

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Karen McDermott
09:12 Sep 20, 2020

Haha, I needed this nudge to write again :) On a break atm due to some family bizniz, but intend to get back on that horse from October onwards. AKA spooky season. Maybe it'll be a ghost horse. I was wondering whether to bring it back to the popsicle or not, so I'm glad you approved. I struggle with endings. And titles. And beginnings. Quite often middles as well. Been rather enjoying having a read of your work too, brilliant stuff! Sadly my letter from Hogwarts must've been lost in the post. 👏👏👏 - a round of applause for my new ...

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Blane Britt
12:22 Aug 20, 2020

I'm a date person too and also time.

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Ipshita Majumdar
12:06 Aug 19, 2020

Loved the story. Diary entries can become a bit monotonous, but the incident with the ice-cream keeps up the pace of the story and is a nice surprise element. I have the same dread of facing news, not for the same reasons thought;) I loved the way the protagonist manages their anxiety by noticing patterns and becoming more aware of their own thought processes. Amazing read!

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Ipshita Majumdar
12:06 Aug 19, 2020

Loved the story. Diary entries can become a bit monotonous, but the incident with the ice-cream keeps up the pace of the story and is a nice surprise element. I have the same dread of facing news, not for the same reasons thought;) I loved the way the protagonist manages their anxiety by noticing patterns and becoming more aware of their own thought processes. Amazing read!

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Karen McDermott
18:27 Aug 19, 2020

Thanks so much for the feedback! 😊

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Ryan Lieb
18:01 Aug 09, 2020

This is so relatable! The constant battle of the mind is so well represented here, and the writing is very naturalistic, could be genuine diary entries. well done!

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Karen McDermott
18:30 Aug 09, 2020

Thanks! Gotta admit the protagonist is ripped off me a little! Hah. I guess it's hard for writers not to have facets of their personalities seep into their characters. Cheers for reading :)

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Ryan Lieb
18:45 Aug 09, 2020

Nothing wrong with injecting yourself into your characters! That's what makes them so authentic!

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Aditya Pillai
08:40 Aug 09, 2020

Such a fun and engaging read! I loved the format you used, so unique and wonderfully pulled off. The narrators voice is great - the dry humor tickled me so! Awesome work. Would love to hear your thoughts on my latest! :) (You actually put 'aware of the meme.' in the bio XD the tone seemed almost tragic in acceptance haha)

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Karen McDermott
09:45 Aug 09, 2020

Many thanks! Ha, yes, I have friends who remind me daily I'm a Karen 🤣 Will check out your story v soon =]

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D. Jaymz
04:34 Aug 06, 2020

I liked the daily journal style you used. Nice touch with the banana boy 🍌😁 ~~~~~~ The story consistently used lower case after Good: and Bad:, except for 18/07/20 — 'Good: Felt better my landlord has a ‘no pets’ rule...'. (Felt — Uppercase) On 27/07/20, the main character seems upset that children weren't social distancing, but he seems to break distancing rules to give the kid the ice cream (A personality quirk?). I see that as something I would do 🙄; very human. Or, is this a glitch in the (logic of the ) story? ~~~~~~ You h...

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Karen McDermott
07:57 Aug 06, 2020

Thanks for the feedback! Have corrected the stray uppercase entry, good spot. And, err, forgot to mention Toby has 2m long arms and was wearing gloves...yes...🍦😏 Was unsure whether to leave it on the penultimate entry or bring it back round to popsicles. So I'm glad you liked the ending. Thanks again.

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DHANANJAY SHARMA
11:28 Sep 20, 2020

amazing https://blog.reedsy.com/creative-writing-prompts/contests/59/submissions/34852/ give a read to mine

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Karen McDermott
11:35 Sep 20, 2020

Wow gee thanks Dhananjay :) what did you find 'amazing' about my story?

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DHANANJAY SHARMA
11:49 Sep 20, 2020

at first the way you wrote it like a journal and most importantly how you picked your characters, its out of the box thinking. keep it up hope you will provide your esteemed views on my 7 stories too. xoxo

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Karen McDermott
14:15 Sep 20, 2020

Well, thank you 🙂 I'll take a look if I get time! X

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