The Trading Catastrophe

Submitted into Contest #55 in response to: Write a story about a meeting of a secret society.... view prompt

72 comments

Mystery

Author's note: "Market" - a special market where secret organizations trade or barter with each other

Market Councillors - organize and manage the marketΒ 


β€œHi, this is Tony Smith. I am part of a secret organization called I.N.T.E.N.S.E. The full form of I.N.T.E.N.S.E is β€˜Villains International Trading of Evil things for Evil’. I do not like the name, but I did not make the name. I ha-” 


β€œWait, Mr. Smith. I need to show the council something better than what you are going to show. Hello, this is doctor Trey Matthew from V.I.T.R.I.F.Y. It is well known. So ... I have a very spe-”


β€œSorry to interrupt you both, but I need to leave.”


β€œBut you’re one of the councilors! You can’t leave! This is a very important meeting! We need to show you the things we have to trade! And we are not allowed to trade without all of the councilors!”


β€œI have gotten a very urgent call, so I need to leave! Will you please understand?!”


β€œNo, I will not! You have to stay!” 


β€œI am leaving! Hellen, substitute for me.”


β€œOk, I will sir.”


β€œSo, as I was saying, I have a very special artifact that everyone has been looking for. It is the Kohinoor Diamond. It will be exchanged for whatever I will like the most from the other traders.”


β€œOkay, so this is Tony Smith again, and I have something as good as that. Maybe better. Many people would like it … I am sure of that. I have the map to … The Lost City of Atlantis! I will see what the other traders have; then I will see what I want for this. The next person can show us what they have.”


β€œHello, this is Lucas Titiny. I’m from I.N.S.T.I.N.C.T. I’m also an instructor of the most famous villain trading school, V.T.S. I have made 2 new things I would like to share with only you. It is The Minimizer 2000! Look, It even works.”


ZZAAPPP!!


β€œSee, it works. You can use it to make a bank small, and other stuff. It’s good. The other thing is The Gravity Hook. You can see what it does with your own eyes.”


ZZZZZZZZZZAAAAPP!


β€œSee. You can take all the jewelry and money and stuff from the bank. All I want for this is that. The map to Atlantis. That’s all I want.”


β€œHello, my name is Lexi Rodriguez, and I have something that Mr. Titiny will really like. I have a coat. But not just any coat! Look at it! It has so many pockets and straps to put gadgets. And, it comes with a LOT of gadgets. Like this gun, and the lipstick laser. Ok, c’mon, please! Just gimme that. Yeah, that. The Minimizer 2000.”


β€œHa, got it! Oh no, I gotta run! See ya!”


β€œCatch her! I want my Minimizer back!”


β€œYes, I got her! HAHA! You’re going to I.N.S.T.I.N.C.T’s jail now, little girl. And you won’t like it there. Take her away!”


β€œOk, NEXT! Ah, yes Ronald Werter from V.E.R.D.I.CT! Your turn.”


β€œSo umm, you already know my uhh, name, and where I’m from. Well, uh, I have something to show to you, er, right now. I umm, have a, um, Gunenator. It makes, uh, well, anything you shoot with this will, uh, um, make it a gun. So basically, um, yeah. That’s what it, um, does. Yeah. Ok, anyone can, er, take this. For whatever you have to, um, give me. I, uh, also have another, er, thing. It is called the, uh, the Ammonator 2000. When you, um, shoot, it makes any, uh, random thing, er, turn into, uh, ammo for guns. Wait, er, was I the, um, last one?”


β€œYes, you were. Ok, it’s now break time! You can do whatever you β€˜til 11:30, which gives you a lot of time to eat. And also give us the things that you’re going to trade. See ya!”


〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄〄


β€œWelcome back everyone. We have to go to some other place for the trading part, so please follow the other councilors, Oliver and Antonia. They both are at the exits of the room. Councillors, please accompany the traders. Thank you.”


β€œNice ride, right Lucas? Looks high tech!”


β€œUh-huh. Yeah, Tony. But I dunno if it’s a limo or a van.”


β€œYep. I think it’s a van though. Look at the tires.”


β€œOh, yeah! I guess it is.”


β€œEveryone get in the car! QUICK! They’re coming! THE POLICE!!”


β€œWHAA’! Get out your GUNS! Wait. Does everyone have guns?”


β€œNot me.”


β€œNot me.”


β€œOk, get in the van, everyone who doesn’t have guns; and the people who do, start shooting! Oh yeah, Mr. Werter, give me your Gunenator. QUICK! I’ll shoot now.”


ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWPPPP!


β€œTake this Councillor Antonia. I’ll shoot again.”


ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWPPPP!


ZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWP!


β€œTake these Councillors. Now please SHOOT! Everyone has a gun now?”


β€œNo.”


β€œNo.”


β€œNo.”


β€œNo.”


β€œNo.”


β€œNo.”


β€œOh, man! Uh, everyone who doesn’t have a gun, follow me into the van. Quick! Everyone who does have a gun with ammo, SHOOT THE POLICE! You, give me that trash can! I’m gonna shoot the stuff inside it to make guns.”


ZZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWPP!


ZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWPPPPPP!


ZZZZEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWPPPPP!Β 


ZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWPPPPPP!


ZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWP!


ZZZZZZZZEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWPP!


ZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWPPP!


ZZZZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWPPPP!


β€œDone. Take these and shoot the police! We will definitely win against them! We have a lot of people from different evil companies! And we have good shooters! C’mon and be a man … or a woman. Whatever you are! Never give up! Keep going β€˜til you die! What’s our motto?!”


β€œREH MIGHQU' QA'!”


β€œEVIL WILL ALWAYS WIN!”


β€œYeah! Now SHOOT!”


β€œUh oh. I don’t have ammo!”


β€œMe neither!”


β€œMe neither!”


β€œMe neither!”


β€œHere! Take some!”


β€œGood. I won’t have to, uh, give my, um, Ammonator 2000 now. Oh, wait, uh, I, er, forgot to take the Gunenator back. I’ll just, er, stealthily take it.”


β€œGot it! Yes!”


β€œHey! You! Mr. Werter! Why aren’t you fighting?”


β€œI, uh, don’t know how to. I’m only an, um, an inventor. I do not know how to, er, hold a gun.”


β€œOh. Ok. Go on with whatever you’re doing.”


Β β€œYes, um.”


β€œI got, er, I got it, uh, it back! Yes! Good me, good me. I need to, er, go home. Oh, no! I, um, cannot! I have to, uh trade. I have to, er, um, stay! Fine.”


β€œYes! We’re winning! See! REH MIGHQU' QA'! NO! Man down! I repeat, man down! No! NO! We’re losing!”


β€œHa! We are winning! Without losing or injuring most of the officers! What’s our motto?!”


β€œWO' QEYLIS HOCH!”


β€œEVIL WILL ALWAYS LOSE!”


β€œYeah! And look at that! People with bad spirits will always lose! Keep shooting!”


β€œWe WIN! We win! The evil guys lost!”


β€œYeah!”


β€œYes! Let’s get back home and tell the chief.”


August 20, 2020 10:21

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72 comments

Hi. Just a few things from Me- 1. Yes, yes, I know. It's been AGES since I last posted a story. It's just, I didn't like the prompts and whatever stories I came up with turned out to be a bit bad. πŸ˜… 2. "REH MIGHQU' QA'" <-- That's Klingon for "EVIL WILL ALWAYS WIN!" 3. β€œWO' QEYLIS HOCH!” <-- That's Klingon for "EVIL WILL ALWAYS LOSE!" ( I'm not very imaginativeπŸ˜πŸ˜…) 4. I took a new format of writing. I kept ONLY and ONLY dialogues. Not even any dialogue tags. I hope you won't get confused about who's speaking! πŸ˜… 5. I really hope ...

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Hriday Saboo
04:55 Sep 10, 2020

Riddle answer is 2nd door as a lion 🦁 can’t stay alive without eating for loads of years

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CORRECT-A-MUNDO! Do you watch Bright Side on YT?

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Hriday Saboo
17:13 Sep 10, 2020

Ohh yeah i do watch sometimes If u like watching it watch 4 mysterious doors that never opened

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Hriday Saboo
18:08 Sep 10, 2020

Hey upvote some of me comments pls

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Hiiii! Wow, this story was good! I think how you only used dialogue was cool (a bit confusing, but for the most part, cool!). This had excellent writing and I loooved the plotβ€”it was so creative! One question: how does I.N.T.E.N.S.E. stand for β€˜Villains International Trading of Evil things for Evil’? I don’t know if that’s intentional, as some sort of a joke, or not, but I’m a biiiiit confused. Anyways, awesome job! Keep writing! ~Aerin

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Thanks! From International comes I.N.T.E. From Trading comes N. From Things comes S. From Evil comes E. I don't really expect you to get that. Otherwise, I just used Acronimify for most of the acronyms. Thanks again!

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Hriday Saboo
08:14 Sep 20, 2020

Would you mind chking out me new story the zombies Do share ur feedback

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Hriday Saboo
05:12 Sep 21, 2020

Good thanks

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Answer to riddle: lions, duh! If they haven’t even in years they’re dead. Lion caresses may stink, but they won’t kill you!

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Hriday Saboo
04:54 Sep 10, 2020

Hey cmon we need a new story

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All the stories I write always turn out bad or the prompts aren't good for me :(

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Hriday Saboo
17:14 Sep 10, 2020

And no ur stories are brilliant

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Hriday Saboo
18:09 Sep 10, 2020

When re we getti' a new story

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05:03 Aug 25, 2020

The sound effects were amazing. Wonderful story. Creative plot. Can't wait for you next... Would you mind reading my story "Secrets don't remain buried?"

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Thanks! I'll read your story!

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Pragya Rathore
16:46 Aug 24, 2020

Tony Smith kinda reminded me of Tony Stark :) The story was written well and your style is awesome! Only thing is, you can integrate 'Market' into the story instead of putting it in an author's note. Beautiful! I loved this one. Please check out my new story, if you get the time :)

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Thanks! I actually watched an Avengers movie before making this story😁. My dad checked my story before I submitted it, and he told me to keep the "Market" thing on the top instead of putting it inside the story. I'll check your story out(as you said if I get the time because I haven't read the other stories people have asked me to)! Thanks again!

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Ari Berri
21:14 Nov 03, 2020

This is awesome! Great job!

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Ari Berri
16:07 Nov 05, 2020

No problem! Also, you got it!

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17:26 Sep 14, 2020

Is the answer to today’s riddle...a river?

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17:04 Sep 19, 2020

Hi again! I just wanted to tell you that I’m starting a little writing contest of my own. Free to enter, for-fun, and 15+ prompts! I’d love it if you could give it a try!

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Oh, cool! Sorry, I can't. I don't have a lot of time on my hands (Look at the date of my last submission). But I'll definitely do it during the holidays or whenever I have some spare time! Sorry. :/ P.S what's the name of the contest?

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12:47 Sep 21, 2020

That’s totally fine! Um.....Paige’s Random Prompts?

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Avery G.
00:30 Sep 12, 2020

Wow, this was good! I liked it! Great job! P.S. Are you related to Akshat Atal? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

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Thank you! PS. Yup, I'm his brother!

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Avery G.
18:50 Sep 12, 2020

You're welcome! Cool!

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Deborah Angevin
22:16 Aug 28, 2020

I loved this story! I enjoyed the dialogues (which propel the plotline throughout the story). P.S: would you mind checking my recent story out, "The Purple Sash"? Thank you :D

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Thanks! I'll check your story out πŸ˜€!

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Hriday Saboo
14:10 Aug 24, 2020

Brilliant. Marvellous. Amazing. I have submitted my new story Pls read it

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Okay! Did you even read my story? 'Cause you just came and commented on it without even liking it.

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Hriday Saboo
14:57 Aug 24, 2020

Cmon I liked it. And like mine too

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I think this story had a great plot line, and I mean that genuinely. I think my only problem with this story was the fact that there was no dialogue tags, or any action of the person speaking after the dialogue. This confused me on who was speaking, so maybe next time make sure it is still clear. Other than that, fantastic! -Brooke D.

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Thanks! I know. I just wanted to try this type. Lol, sometimes even I was confused!

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You're welcome! Haha, I get that.

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. .
23:52 Aug 31, 2020

I really loved the dialogue aspect and the layout made it super easy to read!

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B. W.
20:52 Aug 29, 2020

This story is good and you did a great job with it ^^ my only advice is that you should keep making more stories and they'd be great just like this one. i'm going to give this a 10/10 :) i was wondering as well if you could check out "The camp" and "Not his fault" i'd love to see what you have to say

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Thanks! I'll check your stories out πŸ˜€! :)

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B. W.
13:53 Aug 30, 2020

Yay thanks, i can't wait to see what ya have to say :)

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Phil Flockton
08:42 Aug 27, 2020

Hi Vivian, I like that you want to experiment in your writing but, for me, this experiment didn't work. But that's okay - some experiments work others don't. The lack of dialogue tags bothered me so much that I lost the plot. Also the beginning of losing me was the author's intro - show don't tell. Looking forward to your next experiment. Phil

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Thanks! I agree, it was kind of an experiment. Thanks for the comment! PS. My name is Vivaan, not Vivian.

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Charles Stucker
06:47 Aug 27, 2020

So, it's a dialogue story with a few sound effects. A bit edgy and experimental, but has potential. Instead of the Author's note, I would have a carney caller, "Come one, come all, as long as you're an evil counselor. Come trade at the Market. The market of evil, mwah ha ha!" This gets the point across without breaking from your motif of dialogue. When you don't use dialogue tags, you need distinctive speech tags for the diverse speakers. Fortunately, villains, especially larger than life villains have several archetypes with easily iden...

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03:42 Aug 26, 2020

Nice story, Vivaan:)

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Amogh Kasat
12:21 Aug 24, 2020

It's a wonderful story! Please read my latest story The Secret Organisation { Part 2 }

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Okay! But I have to ask if you read my story because you just came and commented on it without even liking it.

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Amogh Kasat
16:59 Aug 24, 2020

I read it

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Amogh Kasat
16:59 Aug 24, 2020

I just forgot to like

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Amogh Kasat
16:59 Aug 24, 2020

I will do it after 5 minutes

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