Happy birthday and a fossa

“Happy birthday to youuuuuu!” Everyone sang to me. 

“Are you one? Are you two? Are you three. . .”  They chanted for a while “. . . Are you ten? Are you eleven? Are you twelve? Are you thirteen?”

“Stop!” I yelled, grinning from ear to ear.

This was my thirteenth birthday! I couldn't believe I was finally a teenager!

“Time for presents!” Mom and Dad yelled at the same time. They weren’t usually enthusiastic about getting more stuff. Or as they called it, junk. They must have gotten me something good, something they knew I would be excited about this year because they looked really excited.

Like a tablet, or a laptop. Or an iPod. My parents aren’t big on tech. Maybe they got me a dog. I've been asking for one since my best friend Molly got a labradoodle. The first present I opened was from Molly. I closed my eyes.  I knew I would get something good. I slowly pulled the bright red ribbon sitting at the top of the neatly wrapped box. I carefully ripped open the wrapping paper.

“No way!” I screamed. “A snow cone machine?”

When I was eight I begged my mom for one. But she wouldn’t give in so I complained about it at school. I couldn’t believe Molly remembered that after five years. 

Every year for my birthday I get some new clothing or a math workbook. My parents would give me something boring and they would put in the party invitation to not bring any presents. Most of my friends' parents made sure they listened to the instructions. Except of course my closest friends who got me books.

But this year was different. I told my parents not to put that “no presents” line in the invite and they actually listened! I think it’s because now that I'm a teen they’re going to listen to me more. 

I got a phone from my parents! This is what they’re so excited about! I thought. 

I was wrong.

Every time I ask my parents for a phone they’d say “When your thirteen”

Everything I had ever wanted, came that day. A phone, a snow cone machine. I nearly pounced on my next gift, eager to get a glimpse of what was inside.

A laptop! I was going to be writing a lot of thank you cards the next day.

The last gift to be opened was a gigantic box. It had lots of small holes poked into it. Yes! I thought. Air holes! Mom and Dad must have gotten me a dog! What else could it be?

Again, I was wrong.

I tore apart the wrapping paper to find a cage. What kind of dog needs a cage? All dogs, duh!

What’d you think? Do they just wrap the dog?

I opened the cage wearily. Two eyes stared at me through the darkness. The creature crept out of the shadows and showed its face. 

I leaped back in surprise. 

When I regained my balance I asked “Is that a cat? Or is it a mongoose? What the heck is that thing? Where’s the dog? You know I wanted a pug right? A poodle would work  too?” I know I sound spoiled but I couldn’t help myself. I was too disappointed and surprised. 

“Honey, your father and I decided you should have an animal friend. But you know we can’t get a dog. Your father’s too allergic.”

“So instead of a dog, you got me a badger?” I yelled startling Molly a bit.

“A fossa.” My mom corrected sweetly. 

“Whatever!” I said

I rolled my eyes and closed the cage door 

The rest of the party went as planned. We ate cake and we played games. Then the party came to an end and everyone went home.

At first, I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of having a fossa for a pet. The first night, I let Muffin - that’s what I named him - out of his cage and he jumped into my bed. There was no arguing that he didn’t belong in it. He acted like he owned my room. On the second day, I took Muffin on a walk in the park. It didn’t go so well. He growled at all the dogs and chased the kids! It’s safe to say Muffin won’t be welcome in that park for a long time.

After living with Muffin for a week, I got used to him waking me up in the middle of the night and visiting every park in town - leaving a large trail of angry people behind us. 

Mom said it was going to be hard to find a place that would allow me to walk Muffin.

I know Mom said it as a joke, but she was right. It was going to be hard to find a park that would let me walk my “dog”. I worried about that, Muffin needed his exercise.

I still didn’t understand why Mom and Dad hadn’t just gotten me a cat. Did living with Muffin give me any benefits? Like making you smarter or helping me understand the world?

I decided I needed to do some research.

The first thing I did was what any good scientist would do, I put on a spy outfit so I could question my parents. I rummaged through my closet to find appropriate clothes. A fedora, a trench coat, all black. Just like the spies I saw in movies.

Step two, capture the targets and integrate them. 

Looking for the Fossa finders (my parents) wasn’t easy. I had to search the whole house. Agent Old man (my dad), was in the garage. 

When I found him I shouted “Ah, ha!” I have to admit, it was not my finest moment. 

Nor was it sneaky. Looked like the jig was up. I had one job, and it wasn’t over until I got the information I needed.

Dad jumped up in surprise “Emma! You startled me!”

“You’re not the only thing I’m gonna startle!” I said trying to sound like cab drivers in the black and white movies.

Dad gave me a confused look, “What?”

Clearly, I needed to work on my spy dialogue. 

“Come with me quietly and nobody gets hurt!” I said. I heard that in a movie. But  I can’t remember if it was a good guy saying it or a bad guy.

Now, Dad looked really confused. “Are you trying to quote movies again?”

“Just come with me.” I hissed. 

To my satisfaction, Dad followed me into the interrogation room (The closet of the family room. That place is huge.)

 When Dad came in I shut the door and locked it from the inside.

“What’s going on?” He asked

“I’ll ask the questions here!” I said slamming my hand on the table.

Dad leaned back in his chair “Whatever.”

“Where did you find the elusive Muffin the fossa?”

“Umm. . .” 

“Don’t try to dodge the question!”

“I’m not trying to dodge the question!” Dad defended himself

“Then you won't have any problem answering my question, where did you find Muffin the fossa?”

“At the pet store.”

“What was a fossa doing at a pet store?”

“ I don't know, probably cause he’s a pet?”

“Don’t play games with me!”

“I’m not!”

“Fossa’s aren’t pets!

“How do you know that?”

Dad had a point. I didn’t know that. I couldn’t just keep on investigating until I got the facts straight! It was time to do some research.

Again, I opened my closet door searching for a perfect outfit for a scientist. I was conducting research after all.

I raced downstairs yelling “Mom! I need to go to the costume store! Can we please go to the costume store?”

“I’m sorry sweetie,” Mom said when I finally bumped into her “I can’t take you to the costume store now. I’ll  take you tomorrow.”

Rats. It looked like my plans were foiled for the rest of the day. I couldn’t conduct any research without a scientist outfit.

“Okay.” I sighed “Tomorrow.”

The next day I got up as early as possible. The early bird gets the worm Mom used to say. 

“But what happens to the early worm?” I had asked “What if I’m a worm? Will I be eaten by the early bird if I’m an early worm?”

When we got to the costume store the first thing I did was beg mom for a scientist outfit.

“All right,” she said, “but you have to stop bugging me about it!”

I picked out the perfect outfit, a long white lab coat, and black pants. The shop keeper even threw two test tubes into our bag. 

As soon as we got home I put on my lab coat and started to do some research on fossas on my new computer.

Fact 1: Fossas are found in Madagascar

Fact 2: Fossas are not normally pets (I already knew that!)

Fact 3: Fossas eat Lemurs, a type of animal that kinda looks like a skunk

Fact 4: Fossas are active during the day and the night which makes them cathermeral

Whee-o-wheet I whistled through my fingers.

“Muffin” I shouted but there was no answer. 

I ran to my room where there were pillows and fluff all over the floor, notebooks, and pieces of paper were flying everywhere. 

“What did you do now?” I muttered under my breath

I combed through my room looking for Muffin. I found him in my closet munching on my favorite shirt. 

“ Bad Muffin! What has gotten into you?'' I scolded as Muffin whined “It’s okay, I’m not mad.” I added hastily. Muffin seemed to understand me and I didn’t want to make him feel bad.

Muffin whined for a while. I tried to cheer him up but he looked sad as he gave me puppy dog eyes. After three hours of listening to him whining and me making funny faces and telling jokes we realized that something was wrong. My parents rushed him to the pet hospital. I stroked his dirty blond fur trying to calm him.

“I don't know what’s wrong!” said the doctor “Try taking him to the forest for fresh air.”

We took the doctor's advice and drove into the forest. Muffin immediately stopped whining.

Mom shrugged “Maybe he just missed the outdoors?” she said in an unconvincing voice. 

We went back home and Muffin started whining as soon as I carried him inside.

Mom and Dad both hugged me. 

“I think it’s time to let Muffin go.” Dad said

I paused for a moment and stared at my feet “Okay.” I sighed

I cried for a little while. My tears dropped onto Muffin’s fur.

I think I always knew Muffin wasn’t meant to be my pet. I mean, a fossa as a pet?

We took a plane to Madagascar. When we got to the edge of the forest and let Muffin out of his carrier. Muffin led us deeper into the jungle until we saw another fossa. Muffin and the other fossa  snuggled. At last Muffin was reunited with his mother.

“I think I’ll name you Cupcake.” I said under my breath to Muffin’s mom

Cupcake turned her head towards me and nodded like she was thanking me for bringing her son home.

I wanted to call out to Muffin to come back to our home but as I watched him stroll into the jungle I realized this was his home. Not our house. This was where Muffin was meant to live and he’d be happy here.

“Bye Muffin.” I whispered sadly.

Muffin walked toward me and peed on my shoe. 

“Ewww!” I screamed, disrupting the whole rainforest.

I bent down and gave Muffin one last hug.

Muffin hurtled into the jungle with Cupcake. And that was all I ever saw of him again.