My fingers brushed the soft material of the dress, its silvery color glittering with tiny sparkles like a million diamonds in the moonlight. It was my ceremony dress, every girl in our village had to go through a ceremony on their eighteenth birthday. They, the village elders, never told anyone what happened at this ceremony but it was supposed to decide your place here. I wasn’t sure I believed some ceremony was going to determine my place in the village.
I looked up at the mirror, its glass not as clear from times endless touch, and stared into my light icy blue eyes that have always set me apart from everyone else. My fiery red hair was in a beautiful mass of curls that fell around my waist, making my pale skin seem even more white than usual. The soft dusting of freckles on my cheeks made my eyes and nose appear sharper, I never thought myself very pretty, but looking at myself now in this fancy dress felt like looking at a stranger in my skin.
After tonight I wasn’t sure who I would be. A knock came on the door and I quickly slipped the silver sandals on before opening the door. My mother was waiting on the other side with a nervous smile on her face. We looked nothing alike. She was more round than me, I’m a skinny five foot three stick as to where she was healthy with curves and dark brown hair with matching chocolate brown eyes. She was wearing a simple black dress and had her hair pulled up into a bun on her head.
“Are you ready?” She asked. I gave a quick nod and glanced back at my bedroom, it wasn’t much but it was comfortable. I followed my mother from our house and down the stone path leading all the way up to the town center where a bunch of other townsfolk were chatting and heading inside. My hands felt sweaty as my nerves wracked up a notch. Inside was a stage and five chairs, for the five girls. In front of the stage was a ton of chairs for everyone to sit in.
I made my way up to the stage where the other four girls were waiting, each one just as pretty as the next. I took the last seat and waited. It felt like forever as more people piled in, as the moons glow shone down right on top of us and the warm light emanating from the fire lamps started dimming. Finally everyone was seated and a strange silence descended upon the town center, an elder lady coming onto the stage with a soft smile to us girls.
She wore a long flowing blood red dress, standing tall and proud as her long black hair fell down her back. “Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I’m sure most of you are worried and nervous about the future of your daughters, but fear not, for each of them has a great place in our village. When these girls were born, their futures were told. As most of you know, our village is being threatened by a mysterious darkness, one that has destroyed thousands of villages before us.”
The elder glanced back at us with a huge grin on her face, as if what she was saying was perfectly natural and not sounding completely insane. “All five of these girls are vital to our survival, for they are the elements in flesh. Earth, water, air, fire, and spirit. Combined they can vanquish the darkness and save us from a fate worse than death.” She turned to us and folded her hands in front of her. “It has been seen at their birth that they are the ones meant to protect us, meant to wield the elements like a weapon.”
She walked over to the girl in a dark forest green dress, the style identical to my own, and touched her head softly. “Earth is what supports us, without the earth we would be nothing. She will be the foundation we need to thrive.” Next she went to the girl in the pale yellow dress, touching her head softly as well. “Air is what we breath, it gives us life. She is what pushes us to keep moving, to keep living.” She did the same to the girl in bright orange dress. “Fire is what warms us, holds us, and keeps us safe from the dark. She is our light in the darkness, our warmth in the cold.” The girl in the dark blue dress was next. “Water is what we cleanse our souls with, it heals us and washes away the dark things. She is our savior, our drink of faith.”
Then she stood before me, her eyes glowing a deep violet as she stared into my eyes. “Spirit is what holds it all together, the soul, the faith, the hope. Without her, we are nothing.” She smiled again at us all when her eyes returned to normal and went back to stand before us, facing the crowd. “Together we can win against the darkness that plagues us, I present to you, our future.”
After that everything was a blur. I still thought she was insane and speaking nonsense but I wouldn’t speak out against the elders like that. They really believed in this stuff, even if us saviors didn’t think so. It was obvious the four other girls also thought she was missing a few bolts.
When I walked outside I took a deep breath of air and grinned, I wasn’t assigned to any special role like nurse or farmer. Instead we were all free to do whatever because we were special. I kicked my shoes off, lifted up my dress, and took off towards the woods at the edge of the village. The moon gave my dress an ethereal glow as I ran as fast as I could, relishing in my freedom. That was when I noticed the shadows moving around me, their forms all twisted and wrong. I skidded to a stop right in front of one, coming face to face with the living shadow as it studied me with large beady red eyes.
It stunk, like rotten and dead animal. Staring this thing in the face, I knew the elder wasn’t crazy. This was the darkness she was speaking about, but how could five girls defeat something that doesn’t have a physical form? How could we do something we were expected to do from the time we were born? It seemed impossible, unreal, but I knew without a doubt we would be able to do it. It was our destiny, our future, after all.
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12 comments
I loved this story. I could see the mother and daughter based on your description, which is not easy. Your similes and metaphors worked well. Also, I loved the way you created suspense at the beginning of the story, then again when she runs in the forest and sees the darkness. You have beautiful voice in this story which draws the reader into the story The only things I’d change is get rid of the cliche “When these girls were born, their future was told”. Word this differently. Also, this seems like part of a longer story, but I wanted...
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I loved this story. I could see the mother and daughter based on your description, which is not easy. Your similes and metaphors worked well. Also, I loved the way you created suspense at the beginning of the story, then again when she runs in the forest and sees the darkness. You have beautiful voice in this story which draws the reader into the story The only things I’d change is get rid of the cliche “When these girls were born, their future was told”. Word this differently. Also, this seems like part of a longer story, but I wanted...
Reply
I loved this story. I could see the mother and daughter based on your description, which is not easy. Your similes and metaphors worked well. Also, I loved the way you created suspense at the beginning of the story, then again when she runs in the forest and sees the darkness. You have beautiful voice in this story which draws the reader into the story The only things I’d change is get rid of the cliche “When these girls were born, their future was told”. Word this differently. Also, this seems like part of a longer story, but I wanted...
Reply
I loved this story. I could see the mother and daughter based on your description, which is not easy. Your similes and metaphors worked well. Also, I loved the way you created suspense at the beginning of the story, then again when she runs in the forest and sees the darkness. You have beautiful voice in this story which draws the reader into the story The only things I’d change is get rid of the cliche “When these girls were born, their future was told”. Word this differently. Also, this seems like part of a longer story, but I wanted...
Reply
I loved this story. I could see the mother and daughter based on your description, which is not easy. Your similes and metaphors worked well. Also, I loved the way you created suspense at the beginning of the story, then again when she runs in the forest and sees the darkness. You have beautiful voice in this story which draws the reader into the story The only things I’d change is get rid of the cliche “When these girls were born, their future was told”. Word this differently. Also, this seems like part of a longer story, but I wanted...
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Great story! I liked the detail that you put in! The desctription of the dress, etc. Keep it up!
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This Story was so smooth and well-written. it also had suspense and your descriptions were amazing. loved it.
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Thank you!
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I loved this story. I could see the mother and daughter based on your description, which is not easy. Your similes and metaphors worked well. Also, I loved the way you created suspense at the beginning of the story, then again when she runs in the forest and sees the darkness. You have beautiful voice in this story which draws the reader into the story The only things I’d change is get rid of the cliche “When these girls were born, their future was told”. Word this differently. Also, this seems like part of a longer story, but I wanted...
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Was something quick I put together was even thinking on making it into a full novel. Thank you! I didnt think anyone would like it at all tbh lol.
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I loved this story. I could see the mother and daughter based on your description, which is not easy. Your similes and metaphors worked well. Also, I loved the way you created suspense at the beginning of the story, then again when she runs in the forest and sees the darkness. You have beautiful voice in this story which draws the reader into the story The only things I’d change is get rid of the cliche “When these girls were born, their future was told”. Word this differently. Also, this seems like part of a longer story, but I wanted...
Reply
I loved this story. I could see the mother and daughter based on your description, which is not easy. Your similes and metaphors worked well. Also, I loved the way you created suspense at the beginning of the story, then again when she runs in the forest and sees the darkness. You have beautiful voice in this story which draws the reader into the story The only things I’d change is get rid of the cliche “When these girls were born, their future was told”. Word this differently. Also, this seems like part of a longer story, but I wanted...
Reply