2 comments

Drama Mystery Thriller

The doctor with a secret smile

By Rabi Chatterjee


Why are you in so hurry? Sima asked Rico from the kitchen. Where are you going?

I have an important job, Sima, he said. I will tell you later.

Won’t you go to the office today? She asked.

He replied, no, I have taken one day leave today.

She came to their room. Seeing him she said, slowly, slowly. What are you doing? Eat slowly.


Rico was in a very hurry. He was checking his watch intermittently as if he had been very late. As he was binding his shoelaces he was taking his breakfast also. He looked too busy.


kissing on her forehead he bade, bye Sima. Take care. I’ll come early.

As he was already gone outside Sima checked that his bag was on the bed.

Wait wait wait, she shouted. Take your bag.

He entered his room again.

Oh ho, I forgot, he said. He held the bag and went outside.


Within a few minutes, he was on the road. From his house, he took a taxi. He had a duffel bag in his hand. He was wearing a blue shirt and black pants. It was 11 in the morning. He was looking a little worried also. The blazing sun took away everyone’s comfort. It seemed that people were feeling unpleasant. He reached his destination which was near the railway station. Everywhere, the people were in fast motion like they were very busy with their jobs; some were vendors and some office goers. The area was full of crowd. Running buses, horns, vendor’s shouts made the place vibrant.


A man suddenly collapsed with Rico but they handled themselves fairly. Being angry Rico rebuffed him rudely, Excuse me, can’t you walk properly?

The man said, sorry, I am extremely sorry. Please don’t mind. I am in a hurry. If I can’t take the right train I will be late. Sorry. Please don’t mind.

Ok Ok, after saying this Rico took his way and reached a not so much empty place. His behaviour could express that something very significant was going to happen. He saw his watch again. It was 3 pm.


Hello, hello, when are you coming? I have been waiting here for 4 hours. How long more will you take?

Answer came from the opposite.

Okay, Rico replied though his voice was soft to the caller.


Rambling here and there for some time, he entered a small inn. It was near where he was standing. People were taking their lunch, talking with others. He ordered an egg-toast and started to eat but couldn’t finish the whole. Only the half was eaten and the other half was thrown into the dustbin because he was not in a mood of eating. He had been waiting since morning. Something which was known only to him made him fuzzy. There was a yearning in his behaviour. He looked restless as if his worries will end within a few hours.


After paying money to the owner he came out of the inn and went to the same spot again. The weather was not comfortable. It was the second week of June and the summer had been on its peak. He had been perspiring for hours. The sun was on his head.

After looking at his surroundings, he went to a small shop to buy cigarettes. So many people were crossing him, checking him. He could realize everything. He had already finished 10 cigarettes after coming here. Another packet was bought.

Meanwhile, he had been called many times. But it was not clear why he was waiting, who he was waiting for. He felt very tired and sat on a rock.


The evening came. Lights on the road kindled all the area. Vendors were packing up their products; people were returning to their home. It was almost 8 pm. The place began to be empty. He could see only a few people on the road. The shops on the pavements also were closing.


Hello, it’s 8, Rico asked over the phone. When are you coming?

Answer came from the opposite.

But how long more hours I have to wait? He asked.

Answer came.

Rico replied, okay.


It seemed that the person who he was talking to over the phone was domineering. It seemed that Rico had been grasped by that person. He had been his puppet though his restless mind didn’t stop.


One of the vendors asked him, excuse me, who are you waiting for? I have been watching you since morning.

A friend of mine, he replied. He is going to come within a few moments.

But when? Vendor asked. It’s going to be 8:30. Can I know where the person is now? Are you aware of that?

Rico didn’t reply anything except "he will be in a few minutes".

Okay, the vendor said, whatever you think. We have to catch our train. Otherwise, we will be late also.

Rico nodded and went to a different area. It was emptier than the previous place. Some busses were standing there. It seemed the area was a bus stand. A few people were here and there. He was feeling dizzy. He sat somewhere in a lonely place. The hotter day made him gasping more. Within a few seconds, he became unconscious and fell on the ground.


The next day he woke up on the bed but it was not his regular bed. Some doctors were in front of him.

He asked, where am I? What happened to me?

The previous day’s memory had gone lost for some time.

One of the doctors said, you have been taken here by some police officers. What were you doing there for so long?

He replied, where?

Doctor said, near the station. Don’t you remember?

I can’t remember properly, doctor, he said.

Have you forgotten everything? Doctor asked.

He had already become more conscious. He could understand that he was going to be pressurized about the previous day's happening.

He replied, oh, I remember, it was one of my friends. He said he was going to come yesterday in the morning but missed the right train. So I had to wait for him for so long.

As he was uttering these words he checked everyone’s face if any one of them had caught his lies or not except one who had smiled at his lies.

Rico got shocked and became unconscious again.



July 09, 2020 15:23

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

2 comments

Brittany Gillen
14:18 Jul 13, 2020

Rabi - Thank you for sharing your story. I was very interested to see who Rico was waiting for and why. Like the street vendor, I hated to leave without finding out. Your description of the setting was good - just enough that I could picture him waiting and his surroundings. I liked the details of how he passed the time: buying a sandwich, rambling around. I would have loved to know more about Rico's inner world. What motivated him to wait other than being a "puppet?" Did he consider himself a puppet or was this only the narrator's ob...

Reply

RABI CHATTERJEE
06:25 Jul 15, 2020

Hi Brittany, thanks for your nice feedback. I really appreciate your valuable opinion. But let me answer you about your last point why I didn't make Rico's inner world so elaborated. Well, it was an intentional approach from my side because I just wanted to be stuck with the theme of this prompt. I wanted to create an environment where it shows that Rico is waiting for something/someone, not to show how he deals with his life. The restless of the mind, yearning for something are all there in this story. The thing what he is waiting for is no...

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in Reedsy Studio. 100% free.