The Train of Time

I have always thought that time was the longest train running in the vast field that has no borders. I am standing there in front of the massive train and watch it pass. Each carriage of it probably equals to less than a second in our world meaning it has an infinite number of carriages. Each carriage is a memory of some moment.

It goes so fast.

The time.

The train.

It goes and never even thinks about stopping or coming back.

It goes and takes all the sweet moments with it.

The sweet moments I want to embrace once again.

If only I could stop the time for a while to make some dear moments longer I would be honestly so happy. I can’t stand the feeling that I have no control over time.

Please… Come back! I want to feel that warmth once again. The warmth that left me and disappeared through the mist of time.

 ‘Come back! ‘ I yelled at it.

The train keeps running. It is so loud. It cannot hear me at all.

‘Please come back!’ I cried. The tears ran on my cheeks and covered my face.

I felt so lonely and sad.

Something I held so precious and dear had completely disappeared from my life and there I was laying in the complete darkness.

How did this happen? How did I become such a weakling? I don’t know anymore.

I was staring at the train. While I was thinking of getting my dear memories back I wasn’t even using the present to create more dear memories.

The wind blew into my face.

‘You can do it!’

The wind brought some mysterious voice to my ears.

 ‘You can get it back!’

I heard it again! What was that?!

‘Your dear memory. You can live it again!’

I can live my dear memory again? How? How is that possible? Tell me how!

The wind calmed down. The train kept running on the railway.

I looked at my hands.

If I can experience that again… if I can live there again… Maybe I can understand why I am like this…

I closed my eyes.

Where is it exactly? 2 years? 3 years?

I want to go there! I want to go there! I want to go there! I closed my eyes even tighter.

Then I saw it! I saw it! The carriages that had my memories! There they are!

I opened my eyes.

There it was. The memory I wanted to live again.

I saw my family who I left behind. My friends who were always there for me but I was never able to see that. Or I just never wanted to see that. I always lived as if I was alone while I wasn't. I do not even know why I was doing that. I had a problem myself but I never wanted to admit it. How pitiful I am.

'Happy Birthday!' My friends and family told me with smiles on their faces. I wish I knew that time how they loved me. I guess I cannot do anything now. I can cherish this moment I get to live for the second time.

'Thank you so much!' I told them and smiled back. My eyes got full of tears.

'Hey, when did you get so sensitive?' My friend Joe laughed at me.

'Here! I've got you a present!' said my younger sister and gave me this really adorable little box, wrapped neatly and nicely. I remember it was a pair of socks. She really thought a lot about my present that time.

'Thank you!' I told her.

A lot happened that evening. We ate a huge strawberry cake, swam in a pool, told jokes and funny stores, played games.

I felt happy.

Really happy.

After a pleasantly tiring day I went to bed and had a sudden thought:

'I can re-live old memories!'

Why did I get such a great gift? What should I do with that? Or maybe this was for just once? I will never know if I don't try!

I closed my eyes.

I don't know if time passed that moment, stopped or I was the time itself. But it felt peaceful and calm.

And I smiled.

I woke up in front of my old time train.I closed my eyes. 

I focused and concentrated on another memory. I inhaled some air slowly.

'Here it is' I thought as I opened my eyes.

'Hey, you think you'll win this time?' I told my nice old friend Mark. We used to play basketball one-on-one. He did always win but I still kept playing hoping I would win the next round. I was always angry at that time at him. I almost hated him. But this time I wanted to be positive and feel the moment I never did all this time. 

'You seem cheerful today' said Mark.

'How strange' He added.

'I feel like winning today!' I said with a big bright smile.

'Hm. Let's see!'

One professional movement and he quickly stole the ball from me, took a few steps, jumped and scored!

'Are you sure you can win today?' He told me as if he was an arrogant but really he was not. He was happy.

I closed my eyes and got back.

'Hi there! We meet again!' I told the train. It still kept running. But this time it felt as if it smiled. I do not know why I felt this way but its sound didn't feel annoying. Nor did the time felt fast. I knew I had a control over it this time!

Hm, where would I want to go next?

I closed my eyes.

I visited lots of old memories that day and made sure to make people happy. People who always loved me and cared for me. But I never even noticed that.

I got tired.

Catching old carriages takes lots of energy anyway, I guess.

I knew what I had to do now. I had to do it long time ago but I never felt like it. I thought I was right and everyone else was wrong. Now I see how wrong I was! 

I closed my eyes. 

I inhaled.

I opened my eyes.

And after that...

I finally went home.