Ulgoth Alert 

By Jacob Dendulk 

The names Afie. 

Yes. Afie. 

Everyone always say my name’s meant to be Alfie with an L. I don’t tell them that they’re right. I don’t tell them that a Ulgoth attacked the hospital the day I was born and bumped Mum’s hand when she was writing my name on my birth certificate. But I’m ok with Afie. No one else is named Afie. It’s special. 

So yeah.

My name’s Afie

And I’m writing an exam today. An entrance exam to get into a Ulgoth fighting school. A really fancy one in the inner city, where all the teachers and students wear suits and ties. 

I don’t know how to tie a tie and no one else in my family knows how to either. That’s why I’m standing in my room (the one I share with my 4 brothers), trying out different knots in the mirror (just a shattered piece of glass) behind my door. You know, twisting the silk here and there. Trying to find the right look. I know what a tie is meant to look like (I’ve seen men wearing them on those crime shows mum watches), so I figure if I keep trying, I’ll get it eventually. Right? 

The tie’s a little stained. Mum got it from an op shop down the street. All my clothes come from op shops (yes, even my underwear), and they’re all a little stained and grubby. I hate it. 

As I tie my tie, I daydream. I imagine myself fighting a giant Ulgoth. Just me. Afie. No one else. People are watching me as I run towards the giant animal, ready to strike. They cheer my name over and over. Afie. Afie. Aaaaafieeee. 

Ulgoth fighters are heroes. Celebrities.

Everyone thinks they’re cool.

Everyone thinks they’re heroic

They all live in big houses.

They wear clothes that aren’t from op shops 

                                          *

So I figure out my tie. Then the last thing I want to happen today happens. 

Until now, my little sister has been watching the morning cartoons in the next room- our lounge, kitchen and my little sister’s bedroom all combined into one. But the cartoon has just stopped and a loud alarm rings.

An Ulgoth Alert!

I run and crowd around the tv with the rest of my family. The screen is all red but it flicks to show a list of suburbs in lock down. 

I read the list and…yeah.

Sector 8 is on there. 

Where I live.

My heart drops.

“Looks like there’s no exam for you today, Afie.” my Mum says. “I’m so sorry.”

She says it like she means it, but I know she doesn’t.

Mum doesn’t want me to go to Ulgoth flighting school. She thinks it’s too dangerous because Dad got eaten by one. 

My siblings get up and go outside to set up the Ulgoth defences. We do this every time there’s an Ulgoth Alert. They keep the Ulgoth from coming near the house. 

“I am sorry Afie.” Mum says, “but it’s just how it’s has to be. You know how dangerous Ulgoths are. These lockdown keep us safe.”

I nod but I don’t really mean it. 

Mum can tell.

“Say it!” she says.

“Say what?” I say.

“You know what.”

“Fine!” I say.

And then I recite the poem my mother had taught me from youth.

“I am a steak

Juicy and yummy

Ulgoths love little children like me

And they will gobble me up happily”

Mum’s not much of a poet. 

Mum cups my face in her hands. “Good boy,’ She smiles, “now I’m going to help your siblings set up the Ulgoth defences. Why don’t you join us?”

I shake my head. “I think I might just sit in my room for a while.”

She smiles sadly. “Ok then. Come join us when you’re ready.” 

                                          *

I go lie in bed. I have to walk over my brothers’ to get to mine. We don’t have duvets so I wrap myself up in old blankets (another of my mum’s op shop pick ups). I look at the clock ticking on my wall. 

8 am. 

The Exam would begin at 9. 

I bury my head under my blankets, frustrated. 

Another year. In this tiny house. 

Because an Ulgoth chose today of all days to storm the city suburbs. 

My mind wants to dream about being an Ulgoth Fighter. The big house I could buy for the family. The nice clothes I could have. I push them all away because they’re painful now. 

I was so close. 

I lie silently and cry a bit. Normally I don’t let myself cry. My brothers tease me about that sort of thing. But I’m alone and my face is under blankets so no one can see me. 

I lie a long time thinking about the next year I’m going to spend sleeping in this room.

I hate it. I don’t just hate it. I… can’t comprehend it. It horrifies me. 

And then I realise.

I realise I have to do the exam.

Not in one year. Today.

I don’t care if there’s an Ulgoth attacking the suburbs.

I have to go.

I look up at the clock.

It’s half past.

I’ve been sulking for half an hour!

I stand up, throw the blankets off me and grab the bag with my pencils in it. I move to the door and peek out. No one’s there. My family are still setting up the defences outside. I move out of my room and go to the window. I look out into the front yard. 

It’s empty. 

No one’s there to stop me from leaving. 

I go to open the door. I don’t want to think too much about what I’m doing. 

It would scare me too much. 

I reach for the door handle.

“Where you goin’ Afie?”

I turn and find my little sister looking at me cross-armed. 

“Mummy said you ain’t goin’ out today. Said its too dangerous. You tryin’ to sneak?”

“I’m not trying to sneak.” I say, trying to come up with some kind of excuse. “I was just… going to help set up the defences.”

My sister raises an eyebrow.

“They already done settin’ up the defence in the front garden. They’re in the back now.”

She studies me for a moment. “And why you gotta your bag and stuff.” She said. “You don’t gotta have a bag to set up defences Afie.”

I glance back at the clock on the wall. 8:40. 

I don’t have time for this.

“Sis, what if I told you that if you don’t tell mum I’m going, you’ll have you own room by next year.”

“I already gotta by own room.”

“I mean one that’s just your bedroom. Not a kitchen and a lounge. Just yours.”

She widened her eyes. “I don’t get it. How can I have my own room Afie?”

“I can’t explain now. But I promise you will, ok. You just have to let me go.”

“But it’s dangerous Afie. Mummy said so.”

“Yeah I know. But I reckon this is worth the risk. So you promise?”

She nodded. I give her a hug then open the door.

And walk outside, the sound of an Ulgoth storming in the distance.