"Fine, but I want real cash. Not hundreds, thousands," Ben had a bad feeling in his gut, one he couldn't seem to shake.
"Ben, buddy, you know we don't have that kind of money," Maximus said on behalf of the group.
"Listen to me, you idiots. This thing that you want me to do? It's expensive. It's worth a lot. If you think I'm going to do this for five hundred, then you really are that. Idiots, I mean-"
"But-"
"It's going to take me 24 hours to get the job done. At most. You have until then. Real cash, Max. Real cash."
***
The smell of county jail was of sweaty biker guys and rusty metal. Ben was chipping away at the paint on the wall.
"What are you in for?" A purple-haired girl asked him. Ben turned toward her and grinned.
"Have you heard of the Whitmore Mansion? The one that belongs to that old, racist, homophobic, white guy?"
A nod.
"My friends dared me to break in and steal the most expensive thing in there. So I told them I'd do it. If they pay me. Now here is where my friends end up looking really bad. They said they'd find a few thousand to pay me, even though I was going to keep what I steal anyway. I'm pretty smart.
"Doesn't look that way," the girl said.
"What?"
"Show me what you stole," the girl brushed off the comment she made before. Ben rolled his eyes and reached into his jacket pocket and took out a bejeweled egg.
"It's a miracle they didn't take it when they put me in here," Ben's eyes lit up when he was looking at the egg. It was worth 10K, maybe more.
"A mirror to how our world is dead," the girl laughed at her joke and reached for the egg.
"What do you think you're doing?" Ben's tone changed drastically from boastful to serious.
"I wanna see it," She continued to grasp for the egg while Ben tried to carefully hold it out of her reach.
"I don't even know anything about you," Ben grinned.
"My name's Mimi, I'm eighteen, and I want to see the bejeweled egg that this weird guy has in his hand!"
Ben looked into Mimi's eyes before handing her the egg. "But be careful! If you drop it, you're dead!"
"Oh please, you won't kill a girl," Mimi giggled. "a cute girl."
"You are not that cute," Ben was trying to stop the urge to take the egg out of Mimi's hands and cradle it in his.
"Just for that, I keep the egg for longer. Now tell me the story. How did you get into the Whitmore Mansion?"
"I borrowed a lead pipe from my friend, in case someone got in my way-"
"What? You'd bludgeon a ninety-year-old man to death?"
"I wouldn't bludgeon," Ben explained. "I'd knock him out long enough to steal his belongings."
"And how'd that turn out for you?" Mimi placed the egg on the ground and inched closer to Ben.
"Just listen, will you?"
Another nod.
"So I ran to the house, walked through a bush to get into the garden, that's why half my body has scratches and rashes, and then I just pretended to be a gardener until I saw the doors to the house open. I slipped in, like a spy, and grabbed the first thing I saw."
"Do you think you'd rob that place again? God forbid, you get out of here?" Mimi smiled.
"God forbid? Who's side are you on?"
"Mine."
"Good. You always have to look out for number one. Okay, lemme answer your question now. In peace."
"Okay."
"You can't tell anyone, but I toured the house and found this fake wall in the kitchen. It takes you up some stairs and to the roof. So that's my plan for next time."
"How'd you get caught?" Mimi was filled with curiosity.
"I was walking down the street in dirty clothes and a bejeweled egg in my hand. It would be amazing if someone didn't think that was suspicious."
"But if you had just hidden the egg in a paper bag or something, you wouldn't be here."
"I'm kinda glad I am here," Ben winked at Mimi, who only rolled her eyes.
"Cute now, am I?"
"The cutest," Ben leaned in to kiss her, but Mimi backed away and got up. She took the egg and held it tightly.
A figure approached the cell.
"Maximus."
"Hey what's up buddy?" Maximus yelled happily.
"Did you come here to get me out?" Ben asked, hopeful.
"Not as much get you out as get my girlfriend out," Maximus kissed Mimi on the cheek.
"I don't understand."
Mimi spoke up. "It's simple, really. Max dared you to rob the mansion, you did it, and wound up here. I loitered and also wound up here, to jail and a guy spilling his guts on how to break into the house with the most expensive valuables. Now I have a way of entering and exiting."
"Sorry dude. I need money to buy this girl an engagement ring. Do what you gotta do, right?"
Ben was sitting there, shocked.
"What was it you said?" Mimi was laughing along with Maximus. "Oh right. 'You always have to look out for number one.' I gotta hand it to you, Ben. Wise words. Nice last words, you know."
"Last words?"
"Well remember that thing I said about the world being dead?" Mimi twirled with her hair. "Well, it's way dead-er than we thought. All we have to do to get you executed, even though that ain't a thing no more, is give that guy right there some money. Turns out, he works for the mafia and is working this job as a cover. Delightful!" Mimi sarcastically exclaimed.
"He'll just take you behind the building, shoot your stupid brains out, and we ride off into the sunset with... what? A million dollars safely in our Benjamin Delgado fund."
"Benjamin Delgado?"
"In Memorium, buddy," Maximus slyly said. "Have a nice rest of your life. See you in hell."
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