The Perfect Anna

Stacey slammed the door of her flat and headed down the road to the bus stop. The reverberation did nothing to dissipate her anger. Greg hadn't given her the main part in their next play! She had received so much praise for her current role in a modern re-enactment of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. They’d called it Roman and Julia. Stacey knew her lines back to front and inside out. How could Greg pass her over for the lead in the next play? He offered her something else, but what? Probably demoted to the cast! Well, he could stick that idea somewhere that didn’t see light. She was perhaps the best actress they had.

She waited at the bus stop, her forehead furrowed, as she mulled over what she would say to Greg, totally oblivious to the sideways glances of those around her.

She wondered what he meant when he said, “When I explain why, I think you’ll be happy.”

“Like hell I will!” she hissed. She looked at the startled reaction of the man standing beside her.

“I’m sorry. Bad day,” she said.

“We all have those,” he replied but moved away.

At the Court Theatre, Greg called her into his office. She proudly painted on her disapproving scowl.

“Why so glum? I know you’ll like my idea. Are you prepared to listen?”

“I guess I have no choice. Why didn’t you give me the lead part I auditioned for?”

“For several reasons. The story has a third essential character called Anna.”

“But she’s a damn redhead. Long curly hair. You cast me as ‘Julia’ because of my outstanding acting and resemblance to Olivia Hussey, who played Juliet in Frank Zeffirelli’s Romeo and Juliet. I saw it in High School. I knew all the lines and acted superbly in the latest tragic lead part I auditioned for. I also look the part with my long dark hair.”

“You can wear an auburn wig.”

“A wig?! A red corkscrew mop like Disney’s Merida? You’re kidding me.”

“Hear me out, please. Your character and the things I know about you made me decide.”

“Like?”

“Your musical background, playing the guitar, singing. You do a damsel in distress so well.”

“Julia is brave enough to kill herself! I do drama very well, or hadn’t you noticed?”

“Please listen. This next play is a big deal. I know that filmmaker Andrea Arnold will be in the audience. I want her to enjoy the play and see my favorite female talent at her best. She likes strong female leads, survivors. Playing Anna will be your definitive role. Right beside the lead actress, who plays a snooty bitch much of the time and mainly softens due to Anna’s kindness. You will be the true endearing maiden. Trust me, you are Anna.”

“Ok, tell me about her.”

“The trope she plays is Riches and unloved, to Rags and loved.”

“That’s a bit different.”

“She is kind, trusting, and liked by all. Despite being a sidekick to the male and female leads, she drives the plot. She plays a lute and sings. Her growth, choices, and reactions make the story take the route it does, to a tragic end. The leads die, as you know. Murdered. Anna’s story arc is an unlikely fairytale romance, her subplot, a beautiful love story with a few hiccoughs.”

“Mm, doesn’t sound so bad. A prominent role, I hope. I’ll take a look.”

“I have here some scenes she is in and notes for others. Anna’s script, if you get my drift. Have a look and then decide if you can see her as you.”

Stacey grabbed the pile of pages and sat down to read.

Introducing Anna

ANNA has red curly hair and fair skin. She lives in a castle called Wadeley Keep during Medieval times. Her brother is ROLAND. Her father, TYTUS, suffers from bad depression, as their mother died soon after they were born. She is nineteen, plays a lute, and her life is boring and unfulfilled.

ACT 1

Scene 5

ANNA’s Boudoir

(Background scene - painting of a leadlight window, a wall sconce burning, and a four-poster bed. Another prop is a folding screen with a floral scene on it.) 

NURSE IDA (elderly spinster) and ANNA sit in the foreground on two old chairs draped in plain fabric with a small table between them.

ANNA

(ANNA holds her lute, puts it down, and picks up her embroidery from the table. Looking down, she stabs at the fabric with her needle and sighs.) 

Ida, I’d rather play my lute than do this infernal stitching.

IDA

(IDA looks at ANNA throughout the conversation) 

Yes, my dear, but a little needlework each day and your sampler will be completed. You’re doing well.

ANNA

And then? What about my future? Cross-stitch and satin stitch won’t find me a husband. What you teach me doesn’t help either. What do young ladies usually do with their lives? 

(Sigh)

IDA

I’ve always cared for you, along with your grandfather. He loved you so much. Other young maidens are educated at a cloister with nuns and then married off. You stayed for your grandfather’s sake. He feared that ill may befall you. After he died, you still had me.

ANNA

I do love you, Ida, but I need young people—not just young servants, and not just on market days. I long to see my brother ROLAND.

IDA

As if he is good company for a fine young lady. I advise you to stay far away from him.

ANNA

(Sighs)

What will become of me? Will I always live here? Together, we’ve made my trousseau, but what for? Do you think a handsome prince may find me one day?

IDA

My dear, the final decision will be your father’s.

ANNA

(Putting down embroidery and looking at IDA)

Well, I hope, if my prince comes, he doesn’t hate my hair. 

(toss your ginger curls)

NURSE IDA

Love overlooks all of that. Your hair is lovely! Anyway, it’s about ware – not hair. You have the ware. The rule is that your father will accept the marriage if he presents as a young man with goods-enough.

ANNA

As Father hates me, I’m sure I’ll despise his choice. Though, once married, I’ll amuse myself just fine.

IDA

(Shakes her head slowly)

As long as you provide an heir. And let’s hope he loves music and singing.

CURTAIN

ACT II

Scene 1 (precis)

(In a castle hallway – WILLIAMS (Righthand man – seneschal - of LORD TYTUS, Roland and Anna’s father) knocks on ROLAND’s door. WILLIAMS warns ROLAND about odd happenings and things going missing. He is told to catch and punish the scoundrels.)

Scene 2 (precis)

(In an upstairs parlor, ANNA serves refreshments to ROSHEEN, her invitee. ROSHEEN is agitated and wants to speak to ROLAND briefly before leaving. ANNA fetches him.)

(ROLAND enters the room, and he and ROSHEEN converse. Eleven scruffy young men with blond hair, resembling ROLAND, equipped with baselards (daggers), clubs, rapiers, and sturdy bucklers (small shields), burst in. They demand to see ROLAND and his sister. They assume ROSHEEN is the sister, but ROLAND says she is his betrothed. ROSHEEN denies this and to save ANNA, says she is his sister. ROLAND tells them about ANNA rather than entertain the deception that Rosheen is his sister. They are hustled out of the room to find her.)

Scene 3

ANNA’s Boudoir

(She leaps up with a shriek when they arrive, holding her lute.)

ONE OF THE ELEVEN

Are you, his sister?

ANNA

(She clutches her lute, eyes wide, and stares.)

Y-y-yes

(Nodding - copper curls bob.

The assailants stare at Anna openmouthed.)

ANOTHER OF THE ELEVEN

(The men turn, mutter together, scratch their heads, or dither.) 

You’re not what we expected.

ANOTHER OF THE ELEVEN

We came for the two in the prophecy, but she has red hair.

ROLAND

(ROLAND gesticulates, shoves one of them.)

She’s my twin sister. My only sister.

(ROSHEEN starts to inch away.)

ANOTHER OF THE ELEVEN

(Grabs ROSHEEN)

Hold on. You said you’re his sister, too?

ROLAND

(Acting as the hero, he punches the man and throws him aside.) 

No, she’s my betrothed. She’s visiting.

(The men shake their heads, glance at each other, and shrug their shoulders.)

ANOTHER OF THE ELEVEN

Look! You three must come with us. Our leader, Tatenai, will explain.

ANNA

Where’s my father, Lord Tytus?

(The men look at each other knowingly.) 

ANOTHER OF THE ELEVEN

(Rubbing his chin thoughtfully)

The traitor is dead.

(Some of the men look surprised/shocked as if they didn’t know.

ANNA sobs hysterically. ROLAND holds his hand over his mouth

Man looks jubilant. Slaps Roland on the back.)

Ah ha! Looks like the red-headed one is your sister, with all her wailing.” 

(The others look from Anna to Rosheen in confusion.)

ROLAND

(ROLAND’s face has a serious expression)

What traitor? You’ve killed the only survivor of a shipwreck. He was never a traitor! Who’ll you ask to pay the ransom now?

ANOTHER OF THE ELEVEN

Ransom? Our orders are to just take you.

ROSHEEN

You can leave me. I’m no part of this.

ANOTHER OF THE ELEVEN

Oh no, we can’t. We’re to bring a sister with hair black as night. You initially claimed to be his sister. 

(The three huddle together, and sharp implements point towards them.)

ROLAND

(Whispering to ROSHEEN)

If you didn’t want to come along, what’s this about being my sister?

ROSHEEN

(ROSHEEN is furious)

I wish I’d never come here today! I wanted to save ANNA. You have all but ruined Anna’s life, my life, and the happiness of our families with your stupidity. 

ROLAND

This is not my fault! I tried to keep you out of it. Why did you call yourself my sister?

(shrug)

ROSHEEN

Don’t you understand? Lubberwort! I never wish to speak to you again. Betrothed indeed!

(They all leave the stage. ANNA still holds her lute.

Some terrified castle servants remain at a distance and carefully follow them.)

CURTAIN

Scene 5

(Backdrop of outdoors and the castle wall is on the right side. A drawbridge has been lowered. The group comes out of the castle, crosses the bridge, and remains in front, on stage. A motley crew of servants and Lord TYTUS’ seneschal, WILLIAMS, equipped with weapons, charge over the drawbridge in pursuit. A fight ensues. 

WILLIAMS instructs the three to run and hide. ROLAND, ROSHEEN, and ANNA, with her lute, grab hands and leave.)

(A huge splash occurs in the moat behind them. They turn in fright. None of them have seen what fell. The fight continues. The three leave the stage.)

CURTAIN

Scene 6

(Same outdoor backdrop, no castle wall or drawbridge. Foreground - A dirty brick wall painted on fabric runs the length of the stage up to the height of Roland’s shoulder. Fake long grass can be seen along the top edge. The three run along a narrow platform constructed at the level of the grass. Audience POV - appears as running along the outer edge of the moat. At the midpoint, ROLAND looks down. He sees a platform erected above the waterline. He lowers ROSHEEN, jumps himself down, and drags ANNA after him. She still holds her lute. They don’t notice a dead body lying in the waters of the moat – left front of stage. Background; fight sounds.)

ROLAND

Damn, lute! Stay down and quiet. 

(ROLAND peers over the top, spying on the fight’s outcome. The audience cannot see this, only hear it.)

(ANNA shrivels down, eyes wide in fear. She faces the audience. Her hand is over her mouth.)

ROSHEEN

(ROSHEEN screws up her nose and puts her hand over her mouth in disgust. The three are crouching, facing the audience.)

Could you have thought of somewhere less putrid? And, about the lute, they allowed ANNA to bring it. Proves they’ve no intention of releasing us.

ROLAND

 Well, we’ve escaped, haven’t we? No thanks to some idiot who let the men into the castle.

ROSHEEN

I’m sorry. I asked for the portcullis to be left up and the drawbridge down. I planned to see you briefly and leave. But we can’t stay here. Neither should we return to Wadeley Keep. Best to go elsewhere.

ROLAND

So where, then?

ROSHEEN

I’ll take you to Malcolm, my maid’s brother. You can both stay there. It’s in the next fief, so no one will find you. 

ROLAND

What about you?

ROSHEEN

I’ll return home to Saelmere Castle.

ROLAND

Don’t you think we should stay together? I can protect you.

ROSHEEN

Angry

You didn’t protect Anna. I tried to keep her out of it. You couldn’t stop a fly from being swatted.

ROLAND

You said you were my sister! I tried to keep you out of it . . . They only want to take us to their leader, so I guess we won’t die.

ROSHEEN

They also said they killed your father. We can’t trust them.

(The sound of clanging weapons ceases. Roland turns and raises himself to view the scene of battle.)

ROLAND

Oh, God’s nails and bones! WILLIAMS is down, and the others are fleeing to Wadeley. There are wounded. Our captors are looking around, and one is pointing this way. Hush. Move into the bank.

(They hunker down.)

ROSHEEN

(Quietly)

They may give up for the day soon. My servants will fetch my father to help us. Our enemies won’t want another battle.

(ANNA recoils for a new reason. Her eyes stare to her right into the murky waters of the moat. A body floats. The unblinking eyes of Lord TYTUS (The audience and others are unaware of who) look up at them from a grisly, bloodied head. ROLAND looked slowly upwards (towards the audience – castle tower) and then down at his father. Horror on his face.)

(ANNA snaps out of her paralysis and screams. ROLAND, too late to intervene, slaps her face, then huffs in exasperation. 

ROSHEEN rolls her eyes and sighs. 

THE ELEVEN MEN – some lacerated and wounded - peer over the edge of the moat, checking out the scream.)

ONE OF THE ELEVEN

We order you to come up! 

(The three lean back and stare up at eleven pairs of eyes.)

ANNA

(Sobbing, holding the cheek, ROLAND struck)

I’m s-so sorry. This is all my fault. 

ROSHEEN

No, it’s not. But for ROLAND, you’d have been safe in the castle and our escape possible.

`(ROSHEEN glares at ROLAND.) 

CURTAINS

Scene 7

(Backdrop is of outdoors. Wadely Keep is in the background but not in the distance. 

They (the fourteen of them) have walked away from the castle. The three are having their hands tied up. ANNA clutches her lute by its neck, weeping. They have tried to take it.)

ROLAND

(ROLAND pummels the most prominent one.) 

You killed my father! He’d never hurt a soul.

ONE OF THE ELEVEN

(Others drag ROLAND back.)

No, we didn’t. He escaped, and we locked him in a stairway to the tower. That’s all.

ROLAND

You said you killed him.

ANNA

(Sobbing hysterically)

He’s down there, in the moat!

(One of the young men walks away to check.)

ANOTHER OF THE MEN

How did it happen? We had no idea he’d end up dead. He must’ve jumped from a turret when he saw you being taken. He couldn’t save you.

YET ANOTHER OF THE MEN

Fitting end for a traitor.

AND ANOTHER

Must have felt guilty.

(ROLAND and ANNA are speechless.)

ROSHEEN

You’re evil! You terrified him beyond all reason. You took his children. People do desperate things when you harm their loved ones.

MAIN SPOKESMAN FOR THE ELEVEN

We’re sorry. Our instructions were to bring back two of you. It’s become three. Our orders were to kill the traitor TYTUS, though we mercifully locked him in the room where he escaped. He must have believed you’d be killed and jumped. Then, this cursed battle! We need to leave before anything else goes wrong.

ROLAND

You still dare call my father a traitor. You never knew him.

ROSHEEN

(Looks toward right wing.)

My maid has arrived on a horse. She is helping WILLIAMS go back to the castle. She’ll send for help.

ROLAND

Gramercy, he isn’t dead too.

ROSHEEN

(ROSHEEN raises her hand and waves at her maid before it is grabbed and tied with the other.)

Is this absolutely necessary?

(The men’s mood is dark after the fight and the attempted escape. They commence walking away.)

ONE OF THE ELEVEN

Come along. We have a long way to go.

ROLAND

(Exasperated) 

Where are we going? Where is your leader? 

SPOKESMAN OF THE ELEVEN

We were sent here to capture you and plan your abduction. As for questions, our leader will answer them. Just obey us.

(A young man (the youngest of the men) looks kindly at ANNA. They are in the rear as the group walks off the stage to their right. She holds her lute with difficulty.)

TATAVIAN

Please, let me carry it. My name is TATAVIAN. You can trust me. I’m a musician myself. What’s your name?

ANNA

My name is ANNA Faye, daughter of Lord TYTUS.

TATAVIAN

Pleased to meet you, ANNA Faye.

ANNA

I’ll let you but only because it’s difficult for me. I need my lute. It’s all I’ve got. You look like my brother, Roland. Very familiar. Have we met before?

(She allows him to take the lute, and he holds her tied hands to assist her.

They follow the others off the stage.) 

(They later find out the leader is offshore, which means they go on a voyage and may never return.)

This is ANNA and TATAVIAN’s first meeting, and their relationship progresses. ANNA sings and plays a fake lute a few times. She is ill when they arrive at their destination. There is a triangle thing going on with TATAVIAN’s betrothed. Her father wants to assign ANNA to be a servant for his friend to solve the situation. Huge argument about it. Love wins out. They marry. 

PLEEEASE BE ANNA. 

P.S. TATAVIAN is played by Brad Pitt’s clone!