"Hey pal, how have you been these days? It's been a while since we really caught up on life," John Wood said to Mirtillo Togusa in a friendly tone.
"I've been doing really good! After all, I did get into the college I was looking into!" Mirtillo exclaimed.
"You got into Crystal River College??" Inquired John.
"Yup!! I sure did!" Mirtillo replied in an excited tone of voice.
"Dude that's amazing! Congratulations!" John congratulated Mirtillo while patting him on the shoulder. Mirtillo couldn't help but smile.
"Thank you, how have y-" Mirtillo got interrupted before he could properly finish his sentence.
"Hello there fine young lads." The waiter greeted them cheerfully. "What would you two like to order?"
"Hmm, I would like a blueberry pie with a root beer float! And my friend here would like some chicken fingers with a vanilla milkshake!" Mirtillo requested.
"Okay, and is that all?" The waiter asked.
"Nope, that's it for us! Thank you!" Mirtillo thanked him. The waiter then took his leave.
Mirtillo continued to ask John, "As I was saying, how have you been?"
"I have been well, I've just been looking into getting a job here at 'Turquoise Fire Cuisine'," John mentioned.
"Nice! Did you talk to the manager of the place, Mr. Galvin, about that yet?" Mirtillo rested his head on his hand.
"Not yet I haven't, but I was thinking of talking to him about it next week," John replied with a hopeful smile.
"I don't see why he wouldn't let you work here! I mean, you are a nice guy to work with and talk to," Mirtillo assured his friend.
"Thank you, but I am still very nervous about it. What if he doesn't like me and turns me down?" John put his hands on the table in front of him and lowered his head.
"I doubt he will. You got this man! I believe in you!" Mirtillo reached over and placed his hand on John's hands and smiled at him. John smiled back a small kind smile at Mirtillo when hearing those words of motivation. "Oh hey! The food is ready!" Mirtillo observed the waiter nearing their table.
"Dig in and enjoy the food!" The waiter placed the food and drinks on their table and then headed over to other customers. As John and Mirtillo finished up the food they ordered, Mr. Galvin came up to them and presented them with a receipt of how much they have to pay for the food.
"We have to pay $100 in total for the food!? We don't even have this much money combined!" John cried out in astonishment.
"No need to fear, my friend!" Mirtillo assured him. "Now Mr. Galvin, please please please let us off the hook for tonight? Just this once! I'm begging you! Please!" he begged and pleaded until Mr. Galvin agreed.
Mr. Galvin looked at the two of them and decided, "Y'know what? Fine. But just this once! Next time I won't let you guys off the hook so consider yourselves lucky!"
Mirtillo jumped up happily and thanked Mr. Galvin, "Oh my god thank you so much Mr. Galvin! Much appreciated!" Mirtillo and John gave Mr. Galvin a warm hug before they departed. John called a taxi and offered Mirtillo to sleep over for the night and he agreed to this plan. When the two of them arrived at John's house they took off their shoes and turned on 'The Office' on the television and settled down on the couches that appeared to be in front of the television. "Oh my god yes!! I love this show!" Mirtillo shouted as he was getting comfortable.
"Goodnight Mirtillo," John said as he was dozing off.
"Goodnight John," Mirtillo fell asleep while watching the show that is on the television. After the night passed, Mirtillo awakened to the scrumptious smell of eggs and bacon.
"Ah yes, eggs and bacon for breakfast is the perfect start to the morning," Mirtillo said as he sat up and stretched and rubbed his tired eyes. He stood up and walked on over to the kitchen where John is cooking breakfast. "Hey John! You up early making us some breakfast?" He observed.
"Yes of course I am. Breakfast is essential! If you don't start off the day with a healthy breakfast, you won't be successful!" John passionately explained as he put the fully cooked eggs onto the plates next to the bacon. "Here you go, eat up!"
"Thank you for the splendid breakfast!" Mirtillo exclaimed as he devoured the meal. Mirtillo grabbed his phone and proceeded to play a mix of 90's music. The first song was "Truly Madly Deeply", by the Australian pop band, Savage Garden.
"Oh yeah now this is my jam!" John proclaimed as he sang along to the music that was playing. "Hey Tillo, remember that guy you were into back in freshman year of high school?"
"Alpha Tuttle? Oh yes I remember him." Mirtillo blushed slightly as he recalled back to freshman year where he first met him.
"Haha so it seems that you are still into him! That's cute!" John teased him. Mirtillo's face continued to get even more red from blushing. He arose to put the finished plates of food into the sink to spare himself the awkwardness.
"Well, I am going to go get changed. I suggest you do the same because I am going to take you to the ice cream place today, my treat! 'You won't be successful if you don't get changed in the morning', right?" Mirtillo gleamed with excitement.
John smiled and said, "Different context, but same effect. Nice, Tillo. You learn." When they finished changing, they went out to walk downtown to the ice cream place. When they arrived at their destination, Mirtillo spotted and recognized a young man's brown haired ponytail. Mirtillo's heart skipped a beat.
"Oh my god John.. I think I see Alpha! What do I do??" He whispered.
"Mirtillo Togusa, I advise that you ask this man out! He could be your boyfriend! I mean c'mon man, you have been in love with him for years," John suggested.
"Okay. Okay. I'll go shoot my shot," declared Mirtillo. He then ran up to Alpha and spoke, "Hello Alpha! Um.. I have something to confess.."
"Hm? What is it?", a curious Alpha asked.
"Well um.. I-I have been in love with you ever since freshman year so I would l-like to ask you if you.. w-would like to go out with me?" Mirtillo stuttered while blushing more than ever. Alpha remained silent for a few moments, pondering what he should say in reply to that.
"I'm sorry but I've never met you before and I am taken," Alpha pointed out. Mirtillo gave Alpha a look of heartbreak and embarrassment. "But hey! We could be-" Mirtillo was too upset to listen to Alpha's words, so he ran as fast as he could back to John's house.
"Mirtillo wait up!" John yelled as he ran after his friend. As soon as Mirtillo made it back home at John's house, he threw himself onto the couch and sobbed. John goes over to where his friend is crying and puts his hand on his shoulder. "Hey man.. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have suggested that you ask him out like that. But don't worry! You'll find someone, I know it! " Mirtillo kept on sobbing, and John’s attempts to comfort Mirtillo were futile. John grabbed his phone and proceeded to play Mirtillo's favorite song, 'I'm Only Happy When It Rains' by Garbage. John then placed his phone on the table in front of the couch and sat down right next to Mirtillo. John hugged Mirtillo and joined him in the blue.
You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.
8 comments
Hi Arya! I really liked this first submission, I think it was really creative and really well-thought-out. However, I would like to point out a few mistakes and errors you could have fixed if you want me to tell you?
Reply
Thank you! And yes please! Constructive criticism is always good :D
Reply
Sure, no problem! I would look at your dialogue tags and figure out how to make them less wordy. When you use unnecessary words to TELL rather than SHOW you lose readers. So like 'Mirtillo got interrupted before he could properly finish his sentence.' (This is super wordy and you're doing a great job of telling the reader what's happening, but you've already shown them that he's being interrupted with the '-'. i would say instead something like: Mirtillo was interrupted with the arrival of the waiter. That shows connection into the next s...
Reply
Ahh yes that makes sense! I shall make those changes later today! Thank you for the feedback! Much appreciated :)
Reply
Yep! glad you took my feedback (some people don't lol) but you're already talented so with these changes...you'll be like *super* talented XD
Reply
Haha again, thank you very much! You are also a very talented writer! Also, it appears that I cannot make the changes to the story since it has already been approved :(
Reply