sepositus

"So, are you gonna come or not Jay?"

I snapped out of my daze and looked up at Molly. "Sorry, what were you saying?" I asked quietly. She rolled her eyes as though repeating what she said took so much effort. 

"Look, I'm throwing a party Friday and your mom asked me to invite you since you're an anti-social disaster." She repeated every word slick with both pity and spite.

I looked around suddenly aware of where I was. I was sitting at my desk, in Ms.Cook's class. Everyone was either on their computers or their phones while I was with a book. My favorite book, Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac. It's a great book that I read as many times as I could every week, I just wish I was Naomi or someone like her sometimes. If I got amnesia I could restart and be a more outgoing person and less of a... well shut-in. Who knows? Maybe I will.

"HELLO?" Molly hissed in my ear. I flinched and glared at her before nodding. "Sure, whatever, I'll go to the party," I said quickly with the least amount of interest possible, and absolutely no way was I going to actually go. "Just don't make me drink or whatever," I said sarcastically opening up my book and diverting the gaze (rather a glare) from Molly.

Molly walked away, going back to her 'friends' or whatever she called them. All they were were vulnerable girls who needed validation from others. Molly used to be a nice and smart girl before 8th grade. She would draw little cats and share her lunch (A PB&J and a bag of apples and baby carrots) but once she began to realize the world wasn't a fairy tale, she lost her innocent aura and now she was an irritating preppy chihuahua.

I rolled my eyes and watched the clock tick each second. The rhythmic tick, tick, tick was comforting to me. Though as quickly as the comfort came, it left as I remembered that each tick meant getting closer to having to go home and deal with the party situation that my mother has invoked on me.

I banged my head slightly against my desk and began to pack my things knowing my timely escape, also known as the Yearbook committee, was over.

I packed my book and notebook, which was filled with doodles of characters I made up. The cover was black with flowers drawn in white graphite, the flowers were more so cartoonish than they were realistic. Because who am I to perceive reality?

"Okay, guys, gals, and pals you may leave." Ms.Cook said as she looked at the clock which was now at four-thirty.

"Goodbye Ms.Cook, see you tomorrow!" Molly said, falsely cheerful.

I waved Ms.Cook bye before leaving and walking home. I loved walking home. I would be able to clear my mind and think whatever I wanted to think and nobody would bother me. Who bothers a kid walking down the street? Especially one who looks like they haven't taken a shower in a week, but only because they refuse to blow-dry their hair.

I began to think about this party and the foolish but loving individual who forced Molly to invite me and will most certainly force me to go.

                     ~~~

"Hey sweetie, how was yearbook?"

My mother was a sweet white lady. Her hair was brown unlike my very fiery red hair, her eyes were blue unlike my very green ones, and her skin was pale while mine was naturally tan. If you're not getting the picture, I'm adopted. Though, I always knew this since I was five (the age I was adopted by Julie Walker) it still stung knowing that the person who has raised you isn't even close to having been related to you.

"Good," I said, "we're not doing much of anything though."

I sat my bag on the floor on an ottoman that was sat against the hallway wall from the front door that was there for no functional reason.

"Well, that means more time to plan what you're gonna wear to the party right?" She said, her white teeth practically blinding me with their pristine perfection.

I groaned, "Mom, why?" to which I received a sharp response. "Because Jay, you need to get out there! Meet some girls! Meet some boys! Meet someone!"

Mothers and their ways of always knowing what to say. I would usually argue but there's no way I'm getting out of this. It was my senior year and I could argue that I went to this one if she forced me to other ones.

"Fine," I said holding up my hands in defeat, "I'll go." 

My mom must not have expected this answer because she jumped up and down and squealed excitedly. I couldn't help but smile at her excitement, I liked seeing her happy even if it was because of my despair.

"Okay! Okay!" She repeated, gasping for breath. "You'll need something to wear! Blazer outfit?"

"Blazer sounds good," I said.

                       ~~~

The day was today, it was Friday. The day the anxious idiot named Jay would go to their first party in maybe 6 years. 

I don't think anyone has ever been this nervous to be around people, except during a virus or plague. 

Mom was driving me to Molly's house, in her little mini-van. I was wearing a white shirt with a black blazer over it with black dress pants and highly controversial sneakers because I'm not ever wearing those uncomfortable dress shoes. 

The car pulled up into a driveway and I saw the house was already filled up with reckless teenagers (all of who were probably depressed seniors or wannabe freshmen) and I was beginning to regret ever thinking about coming but then I looked at my mom.

She was smiling, wide.

I sighed and I got out after kissing her cheek and going up to the door and just walking in. 

Easier than I thought, honestly.

Everyone was chill, you were either doing beer pong, dancing, playing video games, or watching someone do one of the three. I didn't talk much until a guy came up to me, dressed in a baseball tee and ripped jeans.

"Want a drink?" He asked, quietly, holding up a can of coke.

I was at first confused, wondering if this dude was talking to me. I nodded and took the can and the dude sat beside me on the empty couch that I'm 40% sure someone puked on.

"I'm Ryan." The dude said, not looking at me.

"I'm Jay," I replied, also not looking at him but rather at my can of coke, "are all parties like this?"

He laughed, "Not really, Molly invited her boyfriend, so the football team came as well and whenever they come to a party they drown themselves in cheap beer and make everyone seem inferior."

I looked at him, this dude is cool.

We continued to talk and I found out that Ryan is a senior like me and is hoping to get into Brown University as an English major. He told me stupid puns that I probably shouldn't have laughed at but did so anyway and about his best friend, who I knew was in yearbook with me, Roxanne Butcher. She was a chill chick, but we never really spoke.

"Wanna come meet my friends, I think you'd all get along"

I laughed a little too hard then nodded my head, "Sure."

                         ~~~

His friends were VERY VERY nice and we did get along. They weren't preppy but weren't total nerds either ya know? We talked and joked the whole party. I ended up getting their Snapchats and learned where they sat at lunch.

I was leaving the party and my mom was there, waiting with a wide smile. 

                       ~~~

"Did you have fun?" My mom asked as she drove home.

"Yeah.. it wasn't so bad," I laughed slightly.

"Did.. did you drink?" She whispered, as though anyone would be listening to us. I snorted an ugly but joyful snort.

"N-No mom, oh my gosh." I laughed and smiled the whole way home.

My mom was happy, so I was even happier. I had made a few friends, which was a lot for me and my mom so the party wasn't that bad. Even though Molly ended up getting grounded because someone broke their TV which I hate to say I feel sorry for her but eh.

                         ~~~

Ryan invited me to a party at his house that would only have the group of people I saw at the party including Roxanne who has begun talking to me in yearbook. 

She's really cool and we hang out a lot, drinking energy drinks while dancing to songs that you're not supposed to dance to. We ended up going out together and I'm (lowkey but also highkey) really happy when I'm with her.

I was kind of nervous to attend a party but it ended up being a success, so... I'm happy.