A Shadow Crawled

When I first told my mom about the monster in my room, she laughed and told me a young man should never be scared of something that’s only in their head. Being eight years old, I took those words to heart. So when it came back the second time, I didn’t say anything. Instead that pent up anxiety came out in different ways. There were a lot of breakdowns. I guess you can call them anxiety attacks, but we didn’t know that when I was a kid. My mom just told me I watched too much T.V, but I knew different.

The first time it came to me was on one of those humid nights, so hot that your sheets stuck to your skin. I was completely awake when I heard a sound like a squeaky wooden floor being walked over. At first I thought my mom had entered my room, but when I looked over my shoulder I was met with something else entirely. A tall, lean shadow of a person was pressed up against the wall directly across my bed. I couldn’t quite tell which way the person was facing, or if they were a man or woman. The shadow didn’t move, and neither did I. When I finally yelled out for my mom, the shadow slipped under my bed without a sound. A few minutes later my mom came in and checked under the bed for me. It didn’t leave a trace.

A week later the weather was hot again. Hoping it wouldn't return, I began sleeping with a flashlight next to my bed just in case. Sure enough it was another sleepless night, and sure enough the shadow returned. It appeared in a different spot this time, this time in the corner behind my closet. I still thought it was a person until it moved in a way completely impossible for any human. A leg lifted up and grabbed the wall behind it, then the other. Its arms and legs moved like this all the way up to the top corner. It reminded me of something I had seen in a nature documentary. One of those bugs that looks like a twig to blend in with its environment. This one used the dark, and was equally as silent.

I slowly reached over and grabbed the flashlight sitting on my nightstand. My thumb slid the power button on and a weak, orange light flickered to life. I’d hoped the light would get rid of the shadow, but instead it revealed whatever creature was lurking in my room. I failed to make out most of its features, except for the unmistakable reflection of two eyes centered in the dark mass. What was more hypnostising than the eyes themselves was the feeling that behind them something intelligent was watching me diligently.

After that night my episodes worsened, eventually affecting my relationship with school. When I got detention my mom refused to talk to me for two days. The silent treatment was my least favorite punishment; it really messes a kid up when they’re ignored by a parent. This time I didn’t worry about any of that. All I could think about was that creature. I started to sleep on the couch with the T.V. on. My room no longer felt safe. Once my mom found out she took the T.V. away told me if I didn’t sleep in my room voluntarily she would lock me in there. With no choice I returned that following night. 

The moon was so bright I didn’t even need my flashlight to see. There was no point in trying to sleep. I knew it would be back. At around midnight I saw an arm slowly stretch out from beneath the bed. Then another, and another. The creature walked into the patch of clear moonlight in the middle of my room, remaining curled on all fours. Expecting to feel that familiar terror, I was surprised when instead I felt an odd sense of wonderment. The creature’s skin was iridescent, changing between blue and orange in the light. It reminded me of those beetles you see in tropical rainforests across the world. When it looked at me, I was completely disarmed. The best way to describe what I felt in that moment was if it were like this creature and I had known each other for a long time. I rolled the covers off and crouched next to it on the floor. The visitor emitted a sound reminiscent of a tree trunk being bent and stretched by the wind. It rumbled deep, but I didn’t sense any threat behind it. For a while we sat like that, just enjoying each other’s company.

The moonlight had moved from the carpet up to my door. It must’ve been hours. I then watched as the creature unfolded itself, moving back under my bed. Truth be told, I wasn’t ready for it to go, so I followed it. After squeezing under my bed-frame it sank underneath the floor. I finally discovered where this creature had been coming and going; underneath my bed was a hole that dropped deep into the earth. Looking down in the dark I could see those two reflective eyes staring back. It seemed to be waiting for me. Describing it now, it seems like a horrifying ordeal. At that moment, though, I was more excited than anything. It felt like going over to a new friend’s house. Taking my flashlight, I turned myself around and dropped down feet first.

It was cold inside the burrow. Freezing, actually. The tunnel was small, but I was small enough to crouch inside of it. Nothing but darkness lay before me. My flashlight, hazy as ever, revealed no more than a few feet ahead. No sign of the creature anywhere. A wave of rational thought came to me, and in my panic I decided to go back. Only the entrance I had come from was no longer there. It was as if it never existed in the first place. That might have been the first time I felt real, pure adrenaline. I started hyperventilating. The walls felt like they were closing in. Desperately I hit and pushed against them. They felt like soft, cold rubber. In my state of panic I was completely unaware that the creature had returned. That wave of calmness returned. When I felt better it turned and went back into the dark. This time I followed. 

Every so often I would hear that creaking sound ahead of me, almost like a reassurance. I can’t remember how long I crawled for. At that point I was basically on autopilot. Even the frigid breeze failed to bother me, despite that I was wearing nothing but pajamas. It’s strange to look back and realize that in this moment, deep in some unknown cavern with a strange creature, I felt safer than I did in my own home. I hadn’t thought about my mother, or if she knew I was gone. I didn’t even really care if I went back. In hindsight, this thing could have easily lured me into a trap and turned me into an unwilling snack. Trusting my instincts was a gamble my eight year old brain couldn’t quite comprehend yet.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn’t realize the tunnel opened up to a large, spherical chamber. A dozen tunnels branched all around the surface from top to bottom. It all looked so similar. Down became up, left became right. In my state of vertigo I fell back onto the cold, rubbery floor. Unlike the tunnels, the surface was now covered in small indents, each no bigger than a baseball. My hand had fallen into one, and when I brought it out it was covered in some strange, gooey substance. I made a face of disgust and shook the slime off my hand. As I wiped it on the ground a low grumble shifted my attention to the creature perched directly above me. The way it was hanging there, limbs gathered tightly to conceal its body, it gave off a similar feeling I once had after I broke my mother's necklace. She sent me to my room as punishment, but with the extra step of making me sit in my closet while she went and bought a new one. I sat with my legs tucked tightly against my chest, feeling completely hopeless.

I got to my feet and approached the creature. There was a loud crunch when I stepped on one of the pockets. Inside there was this thin, glass-like material broken into shards. The creature sounded an aggressive hiss, expanding its long, skinny arms. I gasped, not only at the sheer size and sudden aggression, but upon seeing that from its torso there were several more arms protruding towards me. I understood the message and continued my way towards it, slower and more delicately.

I almost fell again when the creature dropped down in front of me. The thud was uncharacteristically loud for how sly it had been in my room. I kept staring at those tiny arms. They moved like someone tapping their fingers on a desk, perfectly in sync. Close to its chest, underneath the two biggest arms, it held onto something. A small sphere, perfectly round and smooth with the same iridescent pattern of blue and orange on its surface. I shined my flashlight to get a better look, but when the light hit it those arms tightly concealed it. A moment went by before I realized what I was looking at. As if it acknowledged my understanding the arms unfolded to reveal the egg once more. I knew now that this creature would not hurt me. It was desperate. I didn't know the real weight at the time, but this creature had put its very future into my hands.

Before I could reach out and touch it I found myself enveloped tightly in those abdominal arms. I was certainly startled, but its grip was surprisingly gentle. Comforting might be a stretch, but I was not afraid. The creature darted out from the chamber back to the tunnel. We reached the entrance in no time, and before I could get another look it dropped me and retreated back into the darkness. It was an unceremonious goodbye, to say the least. Then again I didn't know this would be the last time we’d see one another. Above me I saw a light, and when I looked up I saw my bed frame once again.  I was about to climb out on my own before I saw the egg sitting next to me. It must’ve dropped it, I thought. I tried to call out, but there was no response. When I realized it was too far gone, I took the egg and made my way back into my room.

I figured that it would come back for the egg eventually. Until then I needed to make sure it was taken care of. I recalled something I had done in school the year before when our class hatched chicken eggs by using an incubator. My teacher consistently reminded us to keep the temperature at 102 degrees, or the eggs wouldn't hatch. Of the few times I paid attention in school, this was the only time I truly invested myself in a class project. I tried my best to recall everything I needed; a heat lamp, a container, and some way to insulate it. I had none of these things. Instead of rousing suspicion in my mother by asking for these, I decided to make one on my own to the best of my abilities.

I remembered my mom used to pack my lunches in tinfoil. Most of the time I'd arrive at school and whatever was inside became a jumble of ham, cheese and bread. I held on to the tinfoil the next day, figuring I could use it for insulation. When I got home I searched for a container I could place the egg in. I ended up using an old chest in our basement that contained dusty, unused Christmas decorations. Then I used the small lamp on my dresser and placed it in the middle of the chest. I lined the inside of the lamp with tinfoil, and the chest with a soft blanket. Once the egg was secured inside I moved the components to my closet and turned on the lamp. Since my mom rarely went into my room, I wasn’t too worried about being discovered. Keeping the egg alive was the only thing I was concerned about.

A week went by, and still the creature did not return for it. I checked on it when I woke up, after school and right before I went to bed. Over the course of that week I had noticed the egg was changing. The surface was becoming translucent like glass, and those blue and orange brightened into a beautiful pattern almost like an Easter egg. Eventually I could see a dark shape suspended inside. It looked like a caterpillar curled around itself in a perfect spiral. That feeling of comfort returned. While I hoped the creature would return, I knew that even if it didn’t I would take good care of this egg. 

I returned from school one day to find my mom waiting for me on the couch. Something was wrong. She didn’t hesitate to ask why I was keeping secrets from her. I tried to play dumb, but it was too late.  Without a word she got up and walked over to my room. When she opened the door I noticed my lamp had been put back on my shelf. I ran past her towards my closet. Everything was gone. The egg, the incubator, all of it. Until that point, I had never lashed out at my mother. I never realized how afraid of her I was, either. At that moment, however, all I could think about was the egg. I started to cry, and before she could tell me how childish I was acting I shoved her out of the way, running down to the kitchen. I opened the garbage bin and saw only a fresh bag. Ignoring her commands to stop I sprinted out the door to the curb.

The trucks had not come to collect the bins yet, There was still time. I took the first bag out and tore into it, spilling the garbage all over the sidewalk. No sign of the egg. Before I could tear open the next one my mother was behind me. She only watched in shock, occasionally telling me to stop. When I finally found the egg, it's brilliant colors had faded, and a crack ran across its surface. I held it in my hands and cried, and my mom went inside.

I wasn’t ready to part with the egg. I brought it back to my room and put it on my nightstand. There was no way it was still alive, I thought, so what was the point of setting up that incubator again? I couldn’t stop thinking about the creature. If it was still out there, waiting to come back, I would have to show it my failure. Even if the creature never returned, I felt a deep sense of guilt. My mother never bothered to check on me. She had cleaned the garbage on the curb and then went about her daily business. I stayed in my bed until exhaustion took over and I passed out. The moon looked like it did when I had first followed the visitor. Rubbing my eyes I turned over and noticed moonlight reflecting off of my dresser. It was that same liquid from the cave. The egg had been smashed open. I began to cry again. Had my mother done this? Maybe this was further punishment for acting out. I got up to confront her, but before I could make it to my door, I heard a sound like creaking wood.

That night has never left the back of my mind. I never did see the creature; only a trail of the strange liquid leading to a small hole underneath my bed. Sure enough the next morning the hole was gone, but so was the egg shell. My mother refused to talk about it the next day. I was more or less convinced that everything had been in my head after all. Nonetheless, the memory of the creature stayed with me my entire life. The memory never faded. Whatever bond I made with that creature, real or imaginary, was too strong. Last night made me realize why it never left. It was another sleepless night. A familiar sound creaked in the air. Across from my bed a shadow crawled. Those same brilliant colors shimmered when the visitor passed through the moonlight. A distinct crack ran down its side, up towards its reflective eyes. I was not afraid or surprised. All I could do was smile.