The Regular Bus

Children. Lord. 

Sidestep, because there goes one of them on his tricycle. Who knew that taking the scenic route would cause me so much trouble. 

Haha. It’s surely a scene. I mean...

Look at her! Look...is that Mrs. Beavis? I always told her she should lay off the saturated fats. By the end of spring she won’t be able to fit through her doorway and she’ll probably enlist a poor guy like me to shove her through. That woman’s gotta see someone, I mean. Lord. 

Them damn children--all of them! Just get out of my way! The sidewalk’s for everyone, you know. 

Next kid I see I’ll push him off his bike, I sure will. 

There goes Paul with his trophy wife. I guess she actually goes outside. Marma told me that her skin is as pale as snow but she gets a spray tan once a week so...so that she looks that orangey color. I mean, I don’t know. Can’t judge. 

Let me sit down a minute. 

Oh! Long day, Lord. Wonder what a guy like me will do for dinner. 

Lord, I wish Paul and that chick of his would get themselves a room. And they’d better not take the early bus home. I’d never catch a break today. Marma’s the one to blame for that. Damn coffee--and all over my shirt, too. Damn Marma. She’s nice enough but that vertigo is...annoying. Well, I shouldn’t say that. I think that’s just a little too harsh to say. 

Damn grass! And this is why I hate spring so much. Ruins my shoes and makes my nose itch. And all them children! You get a one day of sunshine and they’re everywhere, hopping around like rabbits and making so much noise. Winter’s dismal but at least it’s quiet and a man can think. 

Closing my eyes makes the noise go away a little. I would just fall asleep here but I might miss the early bus. But then again Paul and his woman might be on...and....gah…

Behind my eyelids it’s pink. My skin’s getting hot. Better start moving again. 

Just a sec…

I could walk home. Why did I come here, even, when there’s a bus stop right by work? 

Ah, right. Marma told me I’m whiter than a ghost and I need some sun. She said today might be the perfect day to get myself out and “be golden.” Also she talked about yoga for some time. Lord, don’t you ever make me do yoga. Why do I even listen to Marma? 

Man, it’s already six. Early bus is coming soon and I don’t even have plans for dinner. 

What to do for dinner? 

Lord, no. Don’t let that be Paul--and heading in my direction! I still owe that man a beer. Though Marma’s told me he’s got an addiction. Lord. Paul never forgets a thing. 

Just look away. He’s too invested in that girl of his to want to bother me. 

Damn. 

Stand up and look away. 

Okay, walk now. Briskly. 

Like you’ve got somewhere to be. 

Good. 

I guess I’ll have to get my shoes shined. All this playground sand can’t be good. 

What to do for dinner. 

Well, Paul’s passed me by, seems headed towards the bus stop. I guess I’ll be taking the regular bus home. 

Maybe get me some dinner. 

I’m sick of fast food. Sometimes I think it might be nice to learn to cook. Not having a spouse and all. I simply don’t have the time to learn. 

Well, not if I keep going on these...ridiculous trips to the park. I ain’t that white, am I?

And if I do keep eating fast food, I might end up as obese as Mrs. Beavis. I don’t think that woman can even take the bus home. Might be good for her to walk. But I don’t judge. I wonder if obesity is a sin. 

Let me sit again. 

It’s nice that most of them children have cleared out. A man can think. 

I wonder if the apartments are nicer when they’re closer to the park. I think I’d like a nicer apartment. Not that I’d need more room. 

Though it might be nice to have a dog. Or a wife. 

Have to get me a promotion first. 

It’s getting darker. Why didn’t I just not come to the park in the first place? Why is Marma such a convincing woman? She’s not persuasive, I wouldn’t think. No. She’s just got a way with words. I wouldn’t be surprised if she--Lord forbid--gets me wrapped up in some sort of yoga class. I mean, she got me this far--in the sun, I mean. Pretty soon Marma will have me as sun-tanned as Paul’s trophy wife. How many wives has he had now? Three? 

Dinner. Burgers? Or something more sophisticated. Chinese? 

Pot-pie sounds amazing right now but I know I can’t get that anywhere in a five-mile radius. 

Now that all them children have moved out, the annoyance comes from them birds. Them birds are all dumping out loads of other birds and they’re all screaming and whining as loud as them children were earlier. A man can never catch a break. This is why I won’t have a wife. 

But a dog might be nice. 

But a quiet one, one that will sit on my lap and watch the morning news with me. 

I guess a cat, I mean. 

Oh, the regular bus is arriving in five. I should get up now. 

Chinese for dinner, I suppose.

It’s a relief that Mrs. Beavis can get herself on the bus. Didn’t ask me to help at all. That’s a relief, too. 

But I mean, why did I come to the park at all? It’s ain’t as if I enjoyed it. I knew I wouldn’t. But I still went, regardless. Marma’s got a real hold on me, I guess. I wonder if that’s healthy. 

The bus stinks like, well, people. It makes me...nostalgic? for the park. A man can’t catch a break. Noisy out there. Smells in here. What is the lesser of the two evils? 

Lord.