THE ELEVATOR PITCH

BY: V Pattabhi Ram

CAST: Juhi, Henry, Ron.

My name is Juhi Parmar, and last night I celebrated my 33rd birthday. We had a ladies' night. Six of my friends came for the bash, and like good girls, we boozed; some wine and some brandy.

It's now 7:30 p.m., and after a day's hard work, I tiptoe out of my 9th-floor office. I walk towards the elevator, which will take me to the car park. "When I reach home, I must cook my dinner," I tell myself.

A couple of boys in their early 20s turn their heads around, and it's nice to have their attention. In loose-fitting black pajama narrowing sharply at the ankle, a scarf thrown around my neck, and sporting dark glasses, I know I am hot. My back arches in a natural way, a practice I picked years ago when I was a member of an escort service.

Few know about my past. I had been sought after as I spoke flawless English, and at 5ft 7in, could be a trophy-friend. I retired at 28, thanks to a CEO-client who got me my current job as deputy head of HR in a merchant-banking firm. 

I punch B3, and soon the door opens. No one is inside. Should I have taken the adjoining lift, which, unlike this, measures 6ft by 6ft, and has glass doors from where you could see the outside? Ha, that's meant for upper castes, the bosses. The one I got in is a lot smaller with closed doors that make me feel terribly claustrophobic. Another place where I get insanely stuffed is the loo in an aircraft.

XXX

On the seventh floor, the elevator shook like a rickety old Ambassador car and stopped. Fortunately, the door opened, a man smiled and got in. I wished to get out and take the staircase, as I mortally feared the lift would fail. But before I could decide, the door closed.

And then, it happened without notice. As the indicator showed 4, suggesting we moved three floors, the power went off. "OMG," I screamed. I remember reading somewhere the elevator would go to the next level, and the door automatically opens. Nothing like it happened. It was pitch dark; the emergency light didn't come on.

I stood on my toe, panic gripping me. My companion, who boarded on the 7th floor, must be in this mid-40s, said, "Chill. There is a backup. Power will be on soon."

Only the other day, on this elevator, I recalled reading, "IF THE LIFT BREAKS DOWN, DON'T PANIC. PRESS THE ALARM BELL. OUR TEAM WILL COME." I tried to light the torch on my mobile, only to realize I had left the device behind. I panted, "Use your mobile light and press the button," I told my fellow traveler. 

"My battery is dead, Juhi." 

Rapid alarm bells ring. How did he know my name?

The man smiled, his sparkling white teeth visible, accentuated by the surrounding darkness.

I felt him look straight at my boobs and realized I was wearing my leash, my identity card. I exhaled. He said, "Ron."

Scared, I crouched on my knees with my heels touching the back of my thighs. My palms rested on my jaw, and I shook myself. A moment later, Ron bent, placed his hands under my armpits, and picked me up.

"What are you doing?"

"I am doing it for your good. In a standing position, you will breathe better. Now, stand up." The last three words were delivered with authority. I got up like a spanked spaniel. 

I pressed every single button on the board in the faint hope I will strike gold. In contrast, my companion was calm, relaxed, and composed. Maybe he had been in this situation several times.

By now, Ron's fingers intertwined mine, and he held it tight, giving me an occasional squeeze.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing. It will keep you relaxed." I didn't believe him. 

Finally, I managed to hit the alarm bell. After what appeared an eternity, a voice came on the intercom. "Hi, I am the Security."

"Where were you all along? I am stuck in the lift."

"Sorry, Mam; coffee time for me. Are you facing any problems?"

"Yes, Sir. I am choking."

"You must call a doctor. This is the emergency service."

"My dear, whatever your name is. I am stuck in an elevator; I am panting and choking. Help."

"My name is Henry. Let me pick up my pad and a pen." He called out each word with an excruciatingly slow pace.

After what looked an hour later, though only 60 seconds had gone, he said, "Well, how long have you been stuck?"

Maybe he wanted to check how long I would live. "For 20 minutes now."

Ron had left my hand and was squeezing my arm, ever so slightly.

"Which lift?"

I realized my mistake. How would Henry spot it unless I said which one? 

"The one in the Main Building."

"Which? Lift-1, Lift-2, or Lift-3?"

"I don't remember. The middle one, I guess."

Ron was now moving his hand down. I straightened as each part of my body tightened with his touch.

"Okay, mam, what is your name?"

I wanted to scream, "You pits. Go to hell." I controlled and gave out my name.

"Who all are with you, Juhi?"

"This is crazy," I told myself.

Ron's hand pinched my waist. I jerked.

"What are you doing?" I raised my voice.

"Madam, I am talking to you." What a dumb ass!

"Okay. Okay. I asked the guy who is with me."

"Oh, there is another person. Give me his details."

The pawing continued. Covering the intercom, Ron hissed, "Unbutton your pajama a shade to breath better," even as his hand moved to help. The presence of his hand on me was reducing my suffocation!

"This is for your benefit. I have faced this earlier," he said, loosening the knot a bit.

"Are you a visitor or working in this place?" the security asked.

Oh, God, how did it matter? I yelled, "I work here."

"What is your leaving time?"

"Look here, are you really from the emergency. I may dehydrate any moment, and you are speaking like a credit card call center."

"Sorry, Madam. We understand your situation. But this is the protocol."

Meanwhile, Ron's hand was moving over my waist. I could differentiate between right and wrong touch. This felt wrong.

"Do you work from home?"

"Sir, how does it matter? Send in the guy, or I will report you?"

"Whom do you report to?"

Now I got seriously worried. Had the call been picked by someone else? I could hear people laughing in the background.

"I work in the CEO's office."

"Come on. And I work for the PMO."

"What is this? Why are you joking?"

"What is your residence landline?"

"Why do you want it?"

"In case something happens to you." It was delivered deadpan. "And your mobile number?"

By now, I knew I was trapped and at the mercy of a maverick. "I am going to report you."

XXX

"Hello, this is Dan from the Emergency Service. How may I help you?"

"What? I have been speaking to a man from the service for the last ten minutes. Who are you?"

"Madam, your call just came in. Please quickly give me the details."

I remembered reading a Minister stayed helpless inside a lift for four hours.

"Will I choke and get dehydrated?"

"No, mam. We have exhaust fans. They work independently."

"I have a phobia. I think I may suffer a cardiac arrest." 

Ron's hand ran over my back, and he applied gentle pressure. It will help you breathe better. To be honest, I started breathing better.

"Don't worry, Juhi. I will rush in pronto."

"Dan, who was the other person?"

"Like I said, your call came just now. I am here for the last hour." Ron increased the pressure, and I twitched.

"I will be there now. Just relax."

Ron pulled me close. "Don't worry, the power will come back." The next moment the power came, the door opened, and Ron pinched my bottom and disappeared.

Outside, people were chatting and talking. There were no signs of a power cut. I was very, very angry. Later, I learned that only my elevator had an outage. I had a sinking feeling of being set up by a man unknown to me who wanted to paw.

When I reached home, my landline came to life. The man at the other end said, "Hi, Pam, Ron."

I threw up. Pam was my name when at the escort service.

"You spoilt my life, once. Because of you, my married life got destroyed. I had my revenge today, howsoever mild. Even Stevens."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, you forgot? I once engaged in your service. My wife's friend saw us in a restaurant. I told your center you should call my wife and say we were friends. You never did. She left me forever."

"Oh, no. Nobody asked me to call. Who is this? I am sure your name is not Ron." My blood pressure was rising.

"Don't worry. I won't let out your past."

"Who are you?"

"I am sure you felt naked today, just as naked as I did years ago when I lost my family."

"Did you manipulate the power outage?"

"Take your bet."

XXX