Cupid's Arrows

 The blank look in the pimp's eyes matched the broken video monitors on the walls of the dark bar.

He was generally against the sale of love, it was more of his mom’s department. But it brought real love more often than it should.  Dressed as an old man, he regretted his decision to stay in character and buy the cheap whisky. He wished for Ouzo and olives. Maybe it was time to give up, he was failing at his job.  The pimp was doing better than him. He just couldn't keep up with Tinder or Bumble or even Match.  He tilted back the glass of gasoline-flavored whisky, and placed it empty back on the bar.  He needs his own App.  He was rushing all over the world pushing love, when all people wanted was ‘Netflix and chill.’ 

“I quit!” He said out loud, getting some looks from the regulars at the dive bar.  He looked over with pity at his appointment. Maybe he had it right. At least he was getting paid.  

“Youse looking at something, you old fart?”

The bar was half full on the weeknight, and his appointment had two women next to him sipping on straws in brightly colored drinks, their short dresses barely covering their too thin bodies. They both leaned in to the man to stare back.

”You need some love in your life? Dahlia here can offer you a good time” The pimp nudged one of the women, who reluctantly stepped forward, her dead eyes made her young face look like a mask.   

“Ah, love.” He put out his cigarette in his empty whisky glass. “We are all here for love- of one kind or another.” Tired of this bar, he just wanted to get his job over with. 

“Are you Zach Ryland, also known as ‘Fat lips’?”  

Fat lips, in designer jeans and a garish purple shirt, narrowed his black rimmed eyes and pulled back his thin lips into a smirk.

“Who’s asking?”

“I have something for you."

“I don't want nothing you got, you look like shit.”  Fat Lips looked away, and then across the bar at a young, well built man.  Tall and blond, he had a jawline sculpted out of marble. He was standing over a pool table in an open collared shirt.

The old man’s moment had arrived. He pulled out a short arrow from his jacket, black with a shiny, sharp barb that flickered in the light from the neon beer signs.  He raised it high,  and then stabbed Fat Lips in the heart with a quick swipe.  The arrow evaporated on impact and Fat Lips jaw slackened, his shoulders fell.  His eyes locked with the young man across the bar and he pushed through the women to walk over to the pool table.  

“Can I play with your balls?” Fat lips shook his head, “I mean, can I play with you?” Gesturing to the pool table. Then he reached out slowly, and touched the young man's chin. “You have something on your face-”

The young man leaned back. “I do?” He grinned at the attention.

Fat Lips smiled. “You will”

The old man saw his job was done, and walked out looking down at his costume.  Maybe he overdid it when he heard the job was at a dive bar. He looked like a bum, the grease blackened trainers, dirty jeans and torn denim jacket.  He snapped his fingers and he was back at home in Olympus, poolside in his normal body, pale and fat, wearing a thin white gathered robe. 

“Mom, I quit! The job is just not the same!”   He glanced up at and then had to look down again. Her radiant beauty was hard even for him to look at, though the sexual desire she inspired in most men did not register. Her long flowing hair draped over her naked body as she lounged on her long couch.  

Aphrodite looked down at her son with pity.

“Eros, you need to get over yourself. You had 2,000 years of the love game to yourself. They even put a statue of you in the Louvre! People are just shy, it is a lot easier to swipe right then get your heart pierced by an arrow. And why have you stopped using the bow I gave you? Stabbing people with your arrows is just so, ridiculous.”

“I kept missing.” Eros said, drinking from a goblet. “It was causing problems, hitting the wrong people, and then-” He shrugged. “And this is more like Dad.” He flexed his hand into a fist, stabbing down.  “It gets the job done.”

“I don't think Mars would agree- you are stabbing people with arrows of love!” Said Aphrodite.

“I can't do this anymore, social media, apps and especially the TV shows. They are ruining everything! Love is dead.” Eros shook his head. “Mom, have you seen what passes for entertainment these days? Euripides and Sophocles are out." He sat up, pointing with his goblet. “Take ‘Love in the Jungle’, a show where people mimic animal mating rituals, or ‘Love is Blind’, where you watch people get married who have never seen each other. Or even better, 'Married at First Sight' where the couple doesn’t even talk to each other before they show up at the altar? And I wont even mention the Bachelor!" Eros threw his hands up.  

“Love doesn’t come from an App, or from a TV show!  It’s a spark between two people, a connection! But how can I do my job when people only meet on screens?”

“Love is overrated.” Said Aphrodite, onto her favorite subject. “Lust is what matters!’ Her eyes sparkled. “I don’t exactly know what ‘Grindr’ and ‘OneNightFriend’ are,  but it is working! Getting people together, better than you lately. ” She looked in annoyance at her son.  “You need to get with the times, modernize! And I do have a job for you, so you can't quit yet Eros." She waved and a servant brought over a scroll. "This is at a video game tournament. Maybe you can learn something.  Betty Sue prayed to me for her daughter, Sophia, to find love. I don’t get too many prayers lately so I want to answer it.” Aphrodite handed the scroll to her son. 

“Video games? What happened to archery, or croquet?” Eros frowned. 

“This woman wants you to help her daughter fall in love with a Mr. Arschloch. Sounds like a great guy.”  She rolled her eyes, and then waved her hand. “Have fun.”  Her servants lifted up her chair and carried her back inside.  

 “This is my last one!” Eros yelled.  He snapped his fingers, bored. 

The large arena was packed, huge video monitors hung on every wall and dangled from the ceiling.  ESport Tournament- Reno, Nevada, repeated below every screen.   The air was full of the smell of spilled soda and fried food.  The video gamers' faces showed in close ups, while the game itself played on the center big screen.  He looked down at his outfit, tight jogger sweats, t-shirt and a hoodie. He looked around. He fit in better this time.

Eros looked for his appointment, and found her on one of the screens.  'BlueBalls' was Sophia’s gamertag and she was in the middle of a game. Her face was scrunched tight in concentration, framed by her short blue hair, headset and mic. Each member of her all-women team, the DeathEaters was young and good looking, but she stood out with her expressive face, and evident joy.  He found a seat and then asked the kid next to him about what was happening. Max was a thin, pimply-faced teenager, with long black hair and in a DeathEaters t-shirt. 

“I love the DeathEaters!” He screamed.  “They are about to win, again!” Max pointed each gamer out on a screen as he recited their names. “Dr. Pink, Violets, RedClaws, ArtichokeHeart and the best of all, BlueBalls! I follow all of them on Twitch.  BlueBalls is one of the top gamers in the world right now, and Legends isn’t even her best game!  The DeathEaters won Worlds last year and I bet they do it again!” Sour patch candies erupted out of his hands after an especially exciting play. The crowd erupted with cheers and high fives as the DeathEaters won their match.  

Eros watched BlueBalls get out of her console and lean in to speak to someone from the team they just beat. He was another young boy, cute with long blonde hair, bangs swept over his eyes. 

“Who is that kid, with the hair? He asked Max. 

“That’s Lasers.” Max leaned over to get a better look.  “He’s just a bot, a nobody. I don’t know why he is even here. I could take him.” 

“Well BlueBalls likes him.” Said Eros. He looked down at his scroll, not the target.  That would have been too easy.  

Eros search moved to the luxury box seats, and then he found him. Mr. Arschloch was in a special glassed-in box, cheering and clapping his jeweled hands at the DeathEaters' win. A huge man, he had a battered twisted face, with a red smear for lips and small beady eyes.  He was the ugliest man he had ever seen, or at least top five. But he understood the attraction for BlueBall’s mom Betty Sue.  For a mom, beauty is in the bank account.    

“Max, tell me about him.” Eros pointed up at the luxury box.  

Max’s face turned down as if had eaten his whole box of sour patch kids at once.  “Arschloch” He spit out the name. “He owns the arena.  He doesn't even like gaming! He is just in it for the money. But he loves BlueBalls and I think he wants to-” Max paused and turned red. 

“Wants to-?” Eros prompted.

“Kiss her!” Said Max, his eyes wide in outrage.

Suddenly a whiny voice echoed through the area.

“Hello? Is this damn thing on? Nicky!  fix this piece of s- Oh!  It is on.” 

Eros saw Mr. Arschloch holding a microphone in his luxury box.

“Thanks for coming out today! What a great game with touchdowns and home runs, and what? OK, nevermind.  Congratulations to the DeathEaters for the win!   This afternoon we will have a Fortnite contest for the gamers. May the best gamer win!   The prize will be hand delivered by me, the just released i-Rolex gaming watch! Play ball!” 

A huge roar of excitement went up from the crowd.  

“BlueBalls has this in the bank!” Max shouted over the crowd. “Fortnite is her best game, and she is the best player here for sure!”  Said Max.

“Does everyone think that, even Mr. Arschloch?”

“Everyone knows it!  This whole contest is because of BlueBalls!”

Max lowered his voice to a loud whisper. “I saw on the groupchat that this was set up for her to win, so he could get close to her.” 

Eros nodded. “I want to meet her too. Come on, let’s get closer.” He stood up, but Max looked at him in shock.

“You mean, meet IRL?  I can’t meet them, I only text! And I don’t know how to talk to girls!”

“Come- I need your help.” Eros pulled on his arm. “You don’t have to talk to anyone you don’t want to.”   

The game began with the avatars parachuting onto the island. It was easy to follow BlueBall as her avatar’s skin looked just like her.  She took off in a blur, quickly killing anyone she met.

“Look, she’s taking out all the men!” Max pointed. "She is just showing off."

Eros could not follow the action on the big screen, but he saw the cameras on the gamers' faces blinking out one by one, leaving only three, BlueBalls, Violets, and RedClaws. On the big screen the three avatars raised their weapons and each did a dance.

“She’s throwing the game!” Said Max, “Letting her friend win. Such a boss!”

Violet and then BlueBalls did a final bow and let RedClaws kill them both.  “RedClaws won!” Said Max. 

Eros looked over to see Mr. Arschloch, who had come down to the winners circle. His face beet red, his expression pained like he was the one who was shot by the Fortnite shotgun. 

A short, mousy teenage girl jumped down from her console and ripped off her headset.

 “I won!  I won!” RedClaws face was lit up with joy, her arms up in the air waving her long red manicured nails in the air. 

Mr. Arschloch frowned and sputtered as he tried to put the glittering diamond encrusted watch on RedClaws thin arm.  His fat fingers could not make the clasp work.

 “Here, just take it.” He said, handing it to her awkwardly. 

Eros turned to watch Blueballs walk away, her eyes only for the golden-locked boy she was attached to at the hip.  Too late for that one. 

Eros dropped the scroll. He should have just quit, he failed his mom. But maybe he could still get something out of it-. 

“Max, you know anything about Apps? I want to make one, a gaming App for love. You help me out, and I can help you.” 

“Well, yes, but how can you- help me? “Said Max, suspicious.

Eros smiled. He pulled out a black arrow, and as RedClaws walked by, raised it high and stabbed it into her heart. The arrow evaporated on impact and her jaw slackened, her shoulders fell.

Her eyes searched, and then found her target.  She walked past Eros and then grabbed Max, pulling him in for a long kiss.

Max’s eyes went wide,  and then eventually, he figured out what to do. 

“I’ll be in touch Max.” Eros winked, and walked away.  Don’t count Eros out yet. Love always wins.