Sessions

 "How long have we been married for?"

"Two months."

"A painful, unending two months."

"The first day we met, hmmm...well, I don't quite remember the date, I mean," an awkward laugh "who does that?"

"On the fifteenth of January 2015, I met my husband on campus, he was a librarian at the school library."

"What she was wearing...why're you asking me that, is this a trap?", He blinked, "I don't even remember what I was wearing...Ugh, I've got to answerrrrrrr...okay," he looked to the ceiling, squinting in thought, "I think it was a gown. It was pink, or red...or was it beige?"

"I think it was his first day there, he was a total dork, and he dressed like one, he wore a forest green wool cardigan, probably because it was harmattan, and he had on a pair of black slacks and black palm slippers," she grinned, staring at the door pattern, "and he was dusty from cleaning the books, it was so hot."

"What I liked about her," he stuck out his bottom lip, " infact I don't know, I must have been under a spell...because as you know," he whispered conspirationally, "she's such a sourpuss, with a great body though...", He grinned before taking a sip of his tea very slowly, "but I liked that she was really smart, and she knew what she was saying...and doing."

She crossed her legs, and thought for a moment before answering, "He had a great smile, it was infectious."

"I think she came to return some books..." He tapped the arm of his chair, rolling his eyes, "God, of course I don't know what kind of books they were, you're making this hard for me on purpose, aren't you?"

"I had gone to return a book...uhhhh, Leininger's principles of biochemistry, I think," a pause, "and I discovered that I had had the book way past the deadline, and had to pay a fine...of course I refused to," she frowned, "a whole one-fifty naira, for what?"

"It was my first week there," he grinned and leaned forward, "and you shoulda seen her, she was such a bit...I mean, she was preposterous," he nodded, "She had the book for a month past the lending period deadline, and she refused to pay a meager hundred and fifty naira, A MEAGER SUM!...and to avoid losing my job when I'd barely started, I had to pay for it."

"The only reason why I went out with him," she sighed, doodling with her fingers on the arms of the chair, " was because I thought he'd be boring and we'd never have to meet again...", she looked up, "and to be honest, it wasn't about the price, I would have paid it, only, I hadn't even know there was a deadline, or even a fine!"

"For someone who clains to know everything, you'd think she'd have read the pamphlet she was probably given at orientation, but no...she's never at fault, the rest of the world is." He downed the hot tea in one gulp, and slammed the cup on the table, "And that has always been the problem with her," he took a deep breath, grinding out, "she doesn't believe in paying attention...to the 'little things'."

"Why, I threw that out the moment I left the auditorium," she waved her hands in demonstration, "I had more important things to fill my memory with, you see, that particular semester was short, and we had a lot of courses to cover."

"I fell for her on our first date," he smiled ruefully, "she had this fire, you know, and it burned outwards like the sun."

She crossed her legs, smiling, "He said he liked the fire in me."

"But as we all know, the sun is a star and even though one day it could also go poof, anything that comes close to the sun..." 

"He's so ignorant, that man, and that's why I liked him at first, his naiveity," she murmured, laughing as she shook her head, "the sun will go poof..."

"If you mean our NON-EXISTENT sex life, then as I said earlier," he sighed, "of late, it's been non-.existent. It's one of the little things, you know."

"We have a very healthy, and convenient sex life...and he said what?", She slapped her forehead, groaning, "don't listen to him, he's probably a sex addict, that one, he needs professional help."

"Three times a week, yes, on a schedule, of course, and would you believe," he held up a finger, "she wasn't like this when we dated," he counted away on his fingers, "but then we got married, she got promoted, and here we are...she's become so cold, so distant, I can count how many kissed on my fingers," he suddenly looked abashed, "and she's turned me into a teenager again, who wanks at every chance he gets, all because she doesn't want physical intimacy."

"I've not become distant, and it's not that I don't want it," she sighed dramatically, "it's just now, I'm never home, the E.R has become more busy these days and I barely have a moment of rest," she put her feet down, smoothing her skirt in place, "so when I get home in the morning, he's just woken up from a good night's rest, and I just want to sleep too, I won't sacrifice my beauty sleep, just so he can...he can, ejaculate," she rolled her eyes, "he can do that himself," a pause, "he knows my job, is as physically demanding as it is mental, and I even suggested the idea of an open marriage, but he turned it into an interrogation about whether I was cheating on him."

"No, no, no, she married me, and...I don't even know why I'm defending myself, you need to tell her," he pointed to himself, shaking his head in anger, "that I'm the best man she could ever get, and it's true, because no other man could put up with her bullshit!"

She tapped her feet into a rythm, "He knows I'm the best woman he could get, I'm top spec, if I do say so myself...I'm financially independent, patient enough to bear his tantrums...I'm the best he could ever get. Ever."

"No we agreed on no kids for now...not that I mind the freedom," he laughs, "but also considering her career, I don't want to ruin it for her."

"The cowardice of that man...hiding behind my career," slamming her hand into the chair arm, sneering, "my career affects nothing, he just doesn't want to say it's because he's so financially irresponsible, and can't stomach the thought of being financially responsible for another person, seeing as he can't even be for himself,"

"That's not me, I handle money well," he gulped guiltily, "I do spend a little more than she does, but it's my money, isn't it? I didn't steal it or anything."

" I did notice this when we were dating, but he has no financial plans for the future," she bit her lip, "I should have known, he was too generous a giver, but I thought he would change,"

"It's not as if I can't spend on a child," he snorted, "my child,"

"He won't have anything to spend on it, he's probably finished spending it all on himself...he changes his wardrobe once a year, and when he's done, he's dirt-broke" she held up a finger as if to prove her point, "once a year, I'm sure even Bill Gates doesn't do that...He's a shopping addict, he's happy, he's getting it, he's sad, all the more, and worse, he's a hoarder, you should see his room." She settled back in her chair, examining her nails as she spoke, "Besides, I already have one child, and would like no more children from him."

"Yes, we stay in separate rooms, she hated everything about me, even my INANIMATE stuff, that's completely harmless."

"He bought three guns, he has three guns."

""It's for protecting myself... and her," he paced about the room restless in anger, "and besides, they're all unloaded, completely harmless."

"He has other problems too he considers harmless... his driving for instance, he drives like a maniac being pursued by a police man in a racing car."

"Her grandmother is a better driver than she is, it's so boring you could die...", He scratched his stubble, "but that's not a problem, we have separate cars."

"A little caution on his part would be appreciated, in his driving, his unnecessary possessions, or other parts of his life," she folded her fingers as if to prevent herself from lashing out, "and yes I've spoken to him about all this and yet he refuses," she sputtered in disbelief "...to repent."

"She believes she's above mistakes, and I won't apologize for living my life how I want to," he frowned, his face resolute, "I'd rather die."

"You want me to apologize...never, I won't," she scrunched up her face determinedly, patting her hair, "I've done nothing wrong. I'm done with him, I'm tired, its faded, and I want a divorce, plain and simple."

He shook his head in defeat, "It won't work, she wants a divorce, I want the same, let's do this." He paused by the door, and ground out without turning, "And the way tell her I'm keeping the house, because I bought it."

******************************

They both came out on different ends of the same building and walked up to meet each other in recognition, their faces hard, their eyes set,

"How was your session?"

"Splendid, and yours?"

"Perfect, I feel we've achieved a lot."

They both nodded in agreement, looking away from each other.

"Me too, care for lunch?"

"Yes I'm thinking Suya Republic," she beeped her car alarm off, "want to come?"

"Yeah, no, I'm thinking Chinese."

"Where?"

"Why so nosy?", He put on his sunglasses looking down his nose at her, "where else, the Eko Hotel, of course."

"Isn't that a bit too expensive... for just lunch?"

"I have a lot of emotions running through me right now, I need to process, and so I thought I'd process them while treating myself."

"Okay then...enjoy your lunch." She turned to enter her car.

"Enjoy yours." He beeped his car alarm.

And they both drive in opposite directions, stewing in hate, because they realised too late, that they had different destinations.