Here's A Super Tale Of A, "Superman"

Here's A Super Tale Of A, "Superman"

Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va. there lived a mild-mannered newspaper reporter named Clerk Can't. Actually, that was what everybody in the mail room called him because none of his stories were interesting to anybody but him. The other reporters would write about stories of interest which affected the people of Danville. Yet Clerk was always writing ridiculous stories that he thought would interest the readers, but they did not. He was constantly being fussed at by his boss about choosing such ridiculous topics that nobody who read the paper would be interested in reading about. The only reason he kept that job was because he's the only person crazy enough to go into dangerous places and get the full write-ups on them. He was quite expendable because he had no family-members and he worked all the time which meant he didn't have time for any friends in his life.

That is until a really cute girl came to join the news paper reporter family. Her name was Hieiss Lane. Now, ironicaly, she lived on Highiss Lane, that's not Low-iss Lane. Clerk had a thing for her. Since he worked for the newspaper office, he was the person who was always chosen to go all the way to find out the details about the stories that were news-worthy that people would actually take the time to read about them. The reason both of those

People worked there was because the boss couldn't bet anybody else who was crazy enough to go get the details about the biggest, most dangerous stories in the whole paper. His boss made sure his camera was indestructible in case something bad should happen to him, at least the pictures would still be usable, but Clerk needed that job.

Then one day while Clerk was walking across his yard, he was struck by a bolt of lightening. The odd thing was that there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It knocked him out cold. When he woke up, he felt something was different about him. He couldn't quite put his finger on it. That was because the bolt of lightening had magical powers in it. When Clerk awoke, he felt like something was different about his body but didn't have a clue what it might be. Clerk had to make a phone call to tell his parents he'd be late getting home since his boss wanted him to run into a building that was ablaze to see if any survivors were inside.

While he was running up towards the blazing inferno, suddenly he put out his arms and flew through the air to the 5th floor where a woman was screaming, but nobody else heard her over all the crackling of the flames. As he leapt up, he could fly, and so he flew to where the screams were coming from. There he saw the women trapped in the upper floor of the building and scooped her up in his arms, then flew her to safety. Everybody was clapping and cheering. As he heard other screams, he flew up to save them as well. Then the whole building collapsed. He'd gotten the people out just in the nick of time. The city governor tried to give him a purple heart and a great deal of money for his heroic deeds, but he told him it would take away from his blessing if if he accepted an payment.

"What a super man!" everybody said. None of them realized how right they were saying that statement.

That afternoon Clerk went to pick up Highess to take her to a newspaper meeting. When he got out of his car at her house, he saw a man point a gun in the tellers face at a bank about 4 blocks away. He began running there, but he put his arms in front of him and flew the rest of the way through the air. He smashed through the window, which should have gut him to ribbons, but there wasn't a scratch on him anywhere. The gunman fired 6 shots at Clerk, but the bullets riccoshayed off of him. Then he grabbed the gunman and tied him up, giving his gun to the cashier.

As the people were thanking him for his heroic deed, he saw a plane smoking badly with no sound of the engine. He flew through the air about 9 miles away and caught the plain in mid-air then gently brought it down to the ground. While the passengers were cheering, he heard something else bad about to happen. He spent the rest of that day breaking up disasters and saving people's lives. That made him feel pumped, so he kept doing that. It went on all day.

That kind of thing went on all day. The weirdest thing about it all was that he wasn't the slightest bit tired. In fact, he was more pumped then ever. Finally after midnight the police came to congratulate him on what an awesome job he did risking his own life to save all the others. The mayor of Danville gave him a gigantic meddle and $12,000.00, but he told him, "It would take away from my blessing if I took this," and flew away to prevent some other local disaster. It seamed Clerk had finally found out what his reason for living was. Things couldn't possibly get any better for him.

Yet then some aliens from planet Zigfold landed near where Clerk had been so busy preventing potential disasters from happening. The space creatures were all 8 feet tall, had 2 heads, 4 arms, could fly and shot a laisor out of their fingertips which was destroying everything it saw. The police attempted to shoot them with their guns, but the aliens sucked them out of their hands then zapped them as well. All branches of the Service were called in to stop those terrible creatures from their destructive power they were using on all the people on this planet. Then another ship arrived with the same weird-looking space creatures in them. They joined with the first ship and blasted every kind of defense mechanism known to this planet. Yet those horrible alians continued to blast away every form of defense the world had. It was to no avail. All branches of the military who were attempting to destroy the space creatures had no affect on them whatsoever.

Just when it seamed as if the whole Earth was doomed, in came You-Know-Who. He was went straight to the head of the ships and threw the doors off. The space monsters shot at Clerk, but he just put up his hands and caught each pullet that came out of their weird-looking guns. Then he picked up several of the monsters and smashed them into smithereens with 4 punches in just the right places which caused most of them to explode. That would have blown-up any normal missle carrier, but Clerk was not one of them. He picked up those space ships then smashed them on the ground, thus causing them to all blow up. Everybody began cheering for that hero whom none of those people even knew what his name was yet.

Just then some aliens flew up behind him and shot him with some weird-looking kind of cannon. The huge ball knocked him down. He laid there on the ground, not breathing. It was obvious he was dead. That caused all the space-creatures to make some weird-sounding kind of rhythmic convulsing sound. That was evidently their way of laughing. All 4 of the space creatures who were left came out of the ship and appeared to be celebrating somehow. They were doing a little bit of a happy-dance in honor of killing the one man on Earth who might have been capable of saving the planet from destruction from those terrible aliens, who appeared to have defeated all of humanity becausethey had just killed the only person who would have been capable of defeating those terrible aliens.

That made Highless become slightly irked, to say the least. While the space-creatures were making sounds that kind of resembled evil-sounding laughter, she snuck up behind them and crept into the space monster's method of transportation to get down to our beloved Earth. The space monsters were so busy celabrating their so-called, "victory" by defeating the only person who was at all capable of defeating them, Clerk who had been warn out from flying so hard and fighting all those terrible space-men, got his second wind. That's when he stood up again. Yet nobody cheered for him in case he was trying to catch them off-guard. While the aliens continued to make joyful sounding noises, Clerk quietly snuck into where the space monsters cockpit was and very meticulously quietly broke all the chords that looked important on their ship. Then he flew to the others and did likewise. Yet he didn't want them to know he was still alive to surprise them big-time.

After he had pretty well dismantled most of the inside part of their ship, he went back out and yelled, "Hay! You big, dumb, ugly, sorry, no-count, murdering, ignoramus heathens! Let's see you try to fight me now with the odds being a little bit less in your favor! Put up your, whatever those things are you have attached to your bodies! Do it!"

It was the tone of voice he used that egged those dumb space monsters on, knowing they didn't understand a word he said to them. That was his way of saying, "Na-na-na boo-boo! You stupid aliens ain't got no sense at all!"

That's when they pointed their phazers at him while he continued to egg them on. Then he danced around just to infuriate them. All of them aimed their phazors at him.

Yet since Clerk had rewired all their forms of artillery, they ended up shooting themselves. All the women who were around screamed in utter terror, not knowing what was happening, but when the smoke had cleared, there stood Clerk with his hands raised over his head, signifying victory for the entire planet. All the space creatures had blown themselves up. They would not be a threat to our beloved planet Earth, or any other planet for that matter.

Clerk was awarded the most gigantic award any one person had ever received in the world's history. The president tried to give him a $96,000,000 reward, but he donated most of it to the companies that are trying to find cures for head-injuries and muscle diseases because they could use it to help a lot more people across the world. Later Clerk, "popped-it" to Highiss who naturally excepted his ring. Later they had some really terrific children who were both smart and quite athletic, and so, like the best-written children's stories of all-time will officially finish,

"THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!!"

---------------------------------------- By, Cuz Roye.