The Town That Fights Monsters

By Wendy Kaminski

Staff Writer

First settled in the 1780s, the town of New Madrid, Missouri, appears charming but otherwise unremarkable. It’s a relatively small town of approximately 2,800 residents, a few shops, a small school and a boardwalk, all nestled atop an Omega-shaped bend in the mighty Mississippi River. 

Located in the “bootheel” region of the Show Me State, this part of the US gets all four seasons, and though there’s no enticement here for investors nor industry, the residents are genuine, friendly and helpful. They are the perfect blend of Midwestern practicality and Midsouthern hospitality.

However, there is one noteworthy thing in particular about this town: in 1811, New Madrid was the site of the largest-ever seismic event in the United States. The region is still seismically active, and if such an event were to repeat, it would cause the greatest financial disaster the US has ever known. 

It would also cause something much worse, and for that reason, two dozen locals comprise the membership of a secret order which has volunteered its sacrifice for over 200 years in fighting a horror that few even realize lurks below.

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In the dead of winter, 1811-1812, hundreds of earthquakes hit this part of the Missouri Territory. Most catastrophically, a magnitude 7.0+ earthquake centered on New Madrid completely destroyed the town and devastated surrounding areas for hundreds of miles. That same quake also caused lower-level damage across two-thirds of the US and aftershocks which lasted for months. It was so strong that it forced the Mississippi River from its bed: the event was described as unearthly sounds and visions from hell, the unholy damnation unleashed such that the entire river roiled backwards for several days and actually formed a new lake before the chaotic waters receded. 

McInnery* was a boy at the time of that winter cataclysm, living a mile upriver on his family’s homestead, which was among the dozens catastrophically destroyed. While he and his sister both swore that they saw fearsome creatures of immense size thrashing within those waves as it was happening, this event was only a century removed from the Salem Witch Trials, and McInnery’s parents put a stop to such fantastic talk immediately. 

He and his sister kept silent as instructed, but as he grew into adulthood, McInnery took on the mantle of chronicler, delving into other accounts of that same event, seeking confirmation of the truth -- and find it, he did. Researching local legends, trapper lore, and personal correspondence as far back as the 1500s, McInnery also found that great upheavals in the New Madrid region happened with alarming frequency, always between October and February, and one thing was certain: the earth was birthing monsters. These were winter beasts, and their sightings were legion. 

At least one extreme giant was even enshrined in the broader national conscience: Pepie, the Mississippi River monster of Lake Pepin, Minnesota. Pepie first appeared to the north several months after the 1811 event, miles upstream from New Madrid. Few made the connection, but McInnery was well aware of it and of what that might mean for another event. Though Pepie was not formally recognized and reported until 1871 at Lake Pepin, McInnery remained convinced of its New Madrid origin decades prior.**

Pepie would not be the only giant creature unleashed: indigenous tradition reports huge river monsters centuries ago, and more contemporary reports exist as well, always in conjunction with similar earth-shaking events in New Madrid.

McInnery was joined in his efforts at first only by a couple of trusted friends, but later by more, as a growing community began to understand and embrace the duty thrust upon them: a duty to combat this terror and ensure the continued safety of mankind. Thus arose the original society calling themselves “The Exhort.”

As often happens, there was a split early-on: while some focused on McInnery’s cryptid research and chased information about the existing creatures, the core members and their successors focused their efforts on defense against future events. Antediluvian texts detail numerous epic creatures, and this branch of the order currently uses those data in simulation programs, analyzing what countermeasures might work against titans from earth and sea. 

In discussing their history and strategies with me for this story, one Exhort advisor points to the USGS statistic that shows a 40% likelihood of a 6.0+ earthquake within the next 50 years at New Madrid. As a result of their decades of research, The Exhort believe that only a 5.0 or greater event is required to spawn a Pepie-sized creature: a 6.0 or greater event could spawn a creature 10 times more terrifying, should it occur.

How does one battle these creatures, then? And would it be only one, or would we be plagued by numerous monsters, if another Big One hit? Smaller quakes up to 3.0 are regularly striking the site to this day – are those spawning smaller beasts? On these points, as well as on the finer points of defense, The Exhort members remain tight-lipped.

While many have sought them out over the years to join their ranks, The Exhort tend to reject outsiders, who are often merely thrill-seeking: “We study more than we hunt, and we just prefer to choose our own company,” one member said, in response to my inquiry as to whether they might be interested in additional members.

However, another cautioned, don’t let fear deter you from visiting their beautiful town, nor fret you while you’re there: “If you think you hear ominous sounds on the water, it’s not the creatures – it’s probably just the wind. These things, if you ever heard one, you’d know it, and as long as we’re on guard, you are never going to know that sound.”

Rest assured, The Exhort is on the job, and I think I speak for us all when I say, “Thank you for that!”.

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* Founder’s name was changed at the request of The Exhort to protect anonymity.

** There remains a $50,000 bounty on Pepie’s head to this day.