Wave Barer

The sun was rising over the horizon, bathing everything on the beach in an eerie glow. Arlena and I picked our way across the littered sand to the water's edge. Arlena took out her long silver tube and pointed it towards the water. This was all part of the ritual. Next she would sigh and tut over whatever it was that she saw out there. She would then fold up the instrument and place it back into the ceremonial satchel. She made a circle in the sand, drawing it lovingly with the carved wand.

This is the part where she always sends me away. I am always told that this part of the ritual could only be done by the chosen. I am banished to the other end of the beach, where I can barely hear the prayer song. I know it off by heart of course. The same short rhyme over and over sung in any tone or key for what felt like hours. Any minute now I would hear the crashing of the wave. The only wave. That is when I know it is safe to return. When I do I find the beach is littered with the small black stones that we use to make our tools. Other things too have appeared, like the seaweed we use for our medicines and a few strange objects that I had never seen before. Remnants of the time before. We gather what we need quickly, as we do the sun begins to climb and soon it will be too hot on the beach to finish the task.

The before objects we place onto the pile, those we do not touch bare handed. Once a year we have festivals when we come at night with torches and laughter. We gather the pile with our ceremonial gloves and bring as much as we can carry to the Shaman, he tells us what they were back in the old days. We listen to his stories and celebrate that we do not live like this anymore. Today is not the yearly festival and so I clamp down on my own curiosity and focus on my task.

Once the materials are gathered, we pick our way back to the jungle, back to our home in the trees.

The path into the jungle is not an easy one to get through, though we are nimble and climb easily.

It can take hours to get home laden with the object provided by Mother. We do not begrudge her gifts, without them we may not have survived.

“ Kalianora, Kalianora!!” I hear my name shouted as we finally make it back to our home. I turn to the left to see my little brother running at me, breathless and clumsy. I smile, for one so young he has such a serious expression. I stop placing my burden on the ground, grateful for the small break from the journey.

               “Kalianora, you have to come quick; something is happening with Tonky.” I sigh, always with the drama. I ruffled his hair, and he shook me off.

 I picked up my bags again and said “Tonky is having her baby and she will be alright. If not, then that is Mothers will and we will accept it and be grateful. Sooth her, talk sweetly to her and lay a cool damp cloth on her head. It is the best we can do for her. Now go, I have a ritual to complete. “he looked at me pleadingly and I sighed again. “this is important , you know that. I will finish as soon as I can and then I will go to Tonky.” He smiled brightly at me and ran back towards our pod.

               Arlena and I finished the ritual. We brought the organics to the healers' pod, the stones to our tool makers. We brought the tools we used back to the shaman and then we were free. Our task completed for another week. As we were leaving the shamans pod, he stopped me but let Arlena go.

               “The time is coming soon, for your vigil night.” He said knowingly, smiling in his shamanistic way.

               “Yes” I said, slightly embarrassed. I would soon be 20 winters old and soon I would be of age to learn the secret. When one lives beyond 20 years, one is considered an elder. I would have had a child by now had Mother seen fit to grant one, but she did not. Soon I would be too old, and I would become like Arlena. I would lead and perform the main ritual and the youngster would do my part.

               Arlena would move to the healers’ pod and begin to learn the art of the medicine, as one of the healers would move to the shaman pod and begin to learn from him. If one reaches the age of thirty, they too can become a shaman. No one ever lives past 40, not since the time before.

               “Your first breath day is coming shortly; I believe it falls on festival night” he said quietly, and I nodded. “You are soon to learn the ritual and you must be prepared to face Mother. Are you ready?”

I nodded again, somberly. I thought about the next festival night and realized that it was tomorrow. Fear gripped my stomach as I realized what this meant.

               “Tonight, you will go to the beach alone, after dark. You will carry no torch nor light of any kind. Use only the moonlight to guide you and when you sit in the circle you will drink this” he handed me a small glass bottle with a strange brown liquid. “Bring back to me the first object you see, when the light comes. Return quickly and tomorrow we shall celebrate.”

 I took the bottle and nodded. He smiled suddenly and wrapped his arms around me.

               “Do not be so frightened child. We all must pass the ritual. Do not fear injury for it will heal, and do not fear the gift of death should that be mothers blessing. Mother keeps us, Mother provides. “he touched my forehead with his thumb and I was dismissed.

I felt both excitement and dread, I was terrified, exhilarated. I wanted to shout and tell the world, but I know I could tell no one. This time in my life was sacred and not to be shared. It was our way.

I ran back to our pod trying to master my facial expressions so that my little brother would not try and follow me tonight. Tonky was laid out on the floor, panting and in distress.

               “shhhh,” I said as I leaned over her “it’s ok my girl, just a little bit longer. “I stroked her fur and massaged her back and suddenly the calf was born. I took a step back and let Mother take her course.

               Albion smiled brilliantly. He was always so proud when a new calf was born, he would make a fine Carer when his age was correct. For now, at 6 years old he was unskilled but so excited about everything.

               “I will not be here for our sleeping tonight” I informed my family. My life givers smiled knowingly but Albion looked upset.

               “where will you be?” he asked petulantly. I thought about lying for a moment but decided it would be better to avoid then betray.

               “Its something you will learn about later. I need to you to keep Tonky and her baby safe tonight, stay with her and keep her company and I will be back in the morning.” I did not say the words ‘ I hope’ but I did think them. Albion was only partially satisfied with my answer, but he knew better than to pry.

After dinner I gathered a blanket and my water skin, I took the small glass bottle and with a deep breath I bid farewell to my family. This is tradition every morning when we go to our tasks, life is not taken for granted and we all know that not all of us might make it back by nightfall. Mother keeps us, Mother provides, but Mother also calls us home.

The way to the beach was the same in the night as it would have been in the day. My feet knew the way even if my eyes were blinded. Once out of the jungle canopy the night sky exploded with tiny pin pricks of light, the nearly full moon hung overhead in all its puckered glory. All around me the night creatures serenaded each other in the symphony of the night.

Once at the beach I made a circle in the sand, plucking out debris until I had nothing but clean white sand to sit on. Cross legged, I pulled out the small bottle and drank down its contents.

I sat, watched as the stars began to grow fuzzy, the moon herself seemed to sway and suddenly I was not sitting anymore. I had fallen back and was still falling until I heard my name.

“Kalianora” I sat up suddenly, the world swam around me. “ Kalianora “ I heard again and I looked up. Far into the distance the water rose and formed into the shape of a woman, she beckoned, and I rose to greet her.

               “Kalianora, you have come” she said with no mouth.

               “Mother,” I said with all the love and longing in my heart “I am ready” I lifted my arms to her and she rushed towards me, a wave crashing over my body until I knew no more.

When the first rays of the sun found my crumpled form on the beach, I opened my eyes. Before me was a small stone knife, old and battered. I lifted it and found the edge was still sharp enough to draw blood. A few drops landed in the sand before being taken by the lapping waters. I was alive and had received this gift. Mother had chosen me. Feeling exhausted but elated I made my way home before the heat of the naked sky could damage me.

The Shaman was waiting for me to arrive, smiling, and looking relieved. He hugged me and brought me into his pod.

               “Now my child, you are ready.”

I sat cross legged on his shaggy carpet as he handed me a cup of something warm and fragrant. I sipped, the sweet liquid warming and energizing me at the same time.

               “long ago” he began “our world was divided, we were a people at war with ourselves, each other and even with Mother. “I gasped at the thought that we could war with Mother, she was our everything.

               “We created great machines that poisoned the land and made Mother sick, and so she called a great many of us home. When most of us were gone, those that remained found that when we made peace with Mother, she began to love us once more. We ask and she provides. When you go to the beach and sit in the circle you commune with Mother and she listens. She sends the wave and we harvest the bounty. She keeps us and she provides. We show her our gratitude with the sacrifice.

“We do not live past 40 years, have you ever wondered why?” he asked looking at me earnestly.

               “I did not know that we could live longer” I said, considering his words. He nodded and refilled my cup.

               “Once there was a time when people lived 60, 70, sometimes even 100 years, but now our time is short. It is both blessing and curse. We made do, and we are grateful. When you sit in the circle and call Mother to you, you exchange years of life, for the gifts she bestows. What did you find on the beach when the first rays of sun touched your face?” I pulled out the stone knife, he nodded again.

               “Mother has accepted you, now you trade years, for health and peace and survival. Each time you cut into your flesh to drop blood onto the sand we each give up one year of all our lives. You do this to bring the wave of bounty but also to keep us safe from all the other waves, the force of which would drown the last of us as surely as the sun rises in the morning. It is a balance; one we are tasked to keep at all costs. It is what calls the wave that brings her bounty. It is not for you to reveal this to any, this is your secret to keep. “

My eyes were growing heavy, and the Shaman took pity. He threw a blanket over my shoulders and I lay to sleep right there on the carpet.

               “sleep now, tonight is the festival and after that you will become the new wave barer, a great honor for a worthy recipient.” He touched my forehead and I fell to sleep.