I'm not him.

"I know it's only our third date, but I have a good feeling about this," you said.

"I do too," I said. "But it's still early days."

"I like you," you said.

"I like you too," I said.

"I really like you," you said.

"I really like you too," I said.

"I suppose it's too soon to ask if you want to come back to mine tonight," you said.

"It is," I said. "I'm not quite ready for that. We have time."

"Of course we have, and I know you're going to be worth waiting for," you said.

"Thank you. I appreciate that. No need to rush things," I said.

"You're right," you said.

"Let's just take it slow," I said.

"Yeah, let's take it slow," you said. "I understand. I know you’ve been hurt before."

"I have," I said.

"I'm not him," you said.

"I know," I said.

 "I won’t hurt you," you said.

***

"I can't believe we've found each other," you said. "We're so lucky."

"We are." I said. "We really are."

"I'm falling for you, you know," you said.

"I know," I said. "I'm falling for you too."

"I never thought I'd find someone like you," you said.

"Me neither," I said.

"You can trust me," you said. "I'm not him. I won't hurt you. I won't lie to you. I won't let you down."

"I know," my mouth said.

***

"Happy Anniversary, Darling!" you said.

"Back at you!" I said.

"I can't believe it's been a whole year since we met," you said. "It's gone so fast."

"I know," I said. "It has. I can't believe it either."

"Are you happy?" you said.

"I am," I said. "I really am."

"Do you trust me now?" you said.

"I do," I said. "I really do."

"So, will you marry me?" you said.

"I will," I said.

***

"I'm sorry I was late," you said. "I got stuck in traffic."

"Really?" I said. "Again? For four hours?

"Yes, again! And yes, for four hours!" you said. "A bit of sympathy would be nice. It was pretty awful."

"Oh God. Sorry," I said. "I just thought …"

"I know what you thought!" you said. "But, you got it wrong!"

"I'm sorry," I said. "I was being unfair to you. Forget it. I take it back."

"I'm not him," you said. "Sometimes I feel as though you still don’t trust me. Not really."

"I do," I said. "I'm sorry."

"After all these years, it really hurts that you still don't trust me," you said. What do I need to do?"

"Honestly, I'm sorry." I said. "I do trust you. I really do."

"Just because it happened to you once doesn’t mean it will happen again," you said. "You need to let go."

"I know," I said.

***

"I don't know how they got there," you said.

"But they're short and blond. I have long brown hair. It doesn’t make any sense," I said.

"It's a couple of hairs!" you said. "I work in an office! I meet different people all day!"

"But how would their hair get on your jacket?" I said.

"It could happen anywhere," you said. "An elevator? A cloakroom? the coffee lounge? I don’t know!"

"Well, it just seems odd to me," I said.

"Look," you said. "You're been behaving a bit … irrationally lately. You seem a bit … paranoid. Have you ever thought that you might need some … help?"

"Help?" I said. "What do you mean?"

"You know. A counsellor? A shrink?"

"No," I said. "There's nothing wrong with me."

"I know how much he hurt you," you said. "I love you and I understand, but it's damaging our relationship."

"I know," I said. "You're probably right. I'll think about it. I'm sorry."

"I don’t know how many times I need to say it. I'm not him!" you said.

***

"How was therapy?" you said.

"It was good." I said. "I'm definitely feeling better."

"I'm so pleased," you said. "Thank you for doing that for me. It means a lot."

"No. Thank you. You were right," I said. " I was losing it. Wasn’t being fair to you. Wasn’t seeing things clearly. Thank you," I said.

"You're welcome," you said.

"He suggested that maybe you might like to come along to a couple of sessions," I said.

"Why would I do that?" you said. "There's nothing wrong with me. I don't want to be rude but you're the one with the problem. Not me."

"Sorry," I said. "You're right, I'm sorry."

***

"So, who was she?" I said.

"No-one," you said. "Just someone from work. It was a business meeting."

"Apparently, you were drinking wine in the afternoon," I said.

"Don't start this again," you said. "Please."

"But …" I said.

"It was just a business meeting," you said.

"So, you said," I said.

***

"I don't think your therapy is working," you said. "How much do you pay that guy again?"

"Apparently, she has short blond hair," I said.

"Now you're being ridiculous," you said.

"Am I?" I said.

"You are," you said. "Seriously, you're not well. How many times do I have to say it? I'm not him. I'm not that man."

"Apparently, you were holding hands," I said.

"Of course, we weren't?" you said. "It was a … "

"Another business meeting, I know," I said. "Apparently, you were kissing,"

"Lies! Who is telling you this stuff?" you said. "I need to speak to them. Set them straight."

"You are speaking to them," I said.

"What do you mean?" you said.

"I saw you. It was me." I said.

"Have you been spying on me?" you said. "You really are insane."

"I don’t think I am," I said.

 Look, you’ve got it all wrong. It's all in your head. I'm not … "

"Him," I said. "You're not him. I can trust you, you won't hurt me, you won't lie to me, you won't let me down, you said."

"Exactly!" you said.

"I'd like you to leave now," I said.