Submitted to: Contest #102

We Are Nature

Written in response to: "Start your story with a metaphor about human nature."

Sad Inspirational Creative Nonfiction

Humans are nature. We are violent and cruel, but we can also be strong, loving, and free.

***

Present Day

A Forest in Illinois

A mourning dove sits in a tree. She glances around the forest. It is peak mating season, and she sees two males on the ground, fighting each other. She wishes she could tell them to stop, but she cannot. 

The dove watches them fight, and the bigger one pecks the smaller one on his neck, bloodying him. 

How odd, that since the males were born with testosterone and she with estrogen, that the males would be pitted against each other, violently tearing at each other to hump her. 

When the smaller one retreats, the big one flutters up to her, and begins the mating process, his hard won battle. 

***

May 10th, 1940

Paris, France

Freda looked out the window onto the street. It was normally bustling and cheerful, but now it radiated fear and violence. Tanks and soldiers marched through the streets, waving red flags with black symbols on them. Freda was young, only eight, but she knew what they were.

Swastikas.

Mama said that the soldiers were called Nazis, and Freda knew they were bad news. Whispers behind closed doors, stress written all over Mama’s face. Mama said they wanted Jewish people to die. Freda and Mama weren’t Jewish, but Mama’s close friend’s family was. 

The bad man Hitler that Freda had heard about on the radio led the Nazis. Freda wanted to see him, but also didn’t. 

Freda knew things were going to get bad.

***

Present Day

Gatlinburg, Tennessee (In the Smoky Mountains)

A scrawny fox crept through the snowy forest. The sky was grey as morning, and the fox was skinny. He had gone in search of food, but it had been several days since he’d had more than some dried up berries. Even water was scarce. 

The winter was cruel. The fox continued his journey to a creek he knew wasn’t completely frozen over, and hoped maybe there were some minnows there.

As he reached the creek, he stumbled upon a dead rabbit. He was sure it had starved, and he began to eat. He knew that he’d be able to make it through the winter now, despite this yearly occurrence, winter.

***

March 25th, 1911

Manhattan, New York City

Ellen sat at her station, sewing garments. She smelled a whiff of something burning, but passed it off. After all, it was the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory, full of machinery and people smoking cigarettes. 

Suddenly, another worker cried “FIRE!” 

Ellen shot up, dropping her sewing. Voices around the room rose above the superintendents telling workers to calm down. Ellen sniffed deeply and definitely smelled acrid smoke. Ellen turned to her friend Mary, and asked frantically, “Mary, aren’t we locked in?” 

Mary stared, terror filling her eyes. “Oh shit, you're right! We might have to jump out the window.” 

Ellen looked around. “Oh, we might be saved. I think the fire started in that rag bin, look, the superintendent is using the hose to put it out.” 

The women watched as the frazzled superintendent turned on the hose. All the workers watched, silent, waiting expectantly. 

And. The. Damn. Hose. Didn’t. Work.

The room erupted into chaos. Cries pierced the air, as people succumbed to the spreading flames, and people pitching themselves out of the window, dying on impact.

Ellen and Mary tried to escape, pounding on the fire exits, which were locked by the cruel owners. 

No one heard them get silenced by the smoke.

***

Present Day

Epping Forest, Essex, England

The trees appear different and independent aboveground. The real strength lies under the soil.

Think of Avatar. The soul trees in that movie are connected, right?

That happens in real life too. The tree's roots are interconnected, and the natural balance of different tree types with different root types balances each other out.

The cedar intermingles with the oak. 

The maple ensnares in the beech’s roots. 

The fir can feel the pear tree. 

Everything is interconnected with tree roots. 

***

Present Day

Chippenham Hospital

Richmond, Virginia

David clutches his wife’s hand. She has been pregnant for nine months, gone through seven hours of labor, and is now having contractions. 

“I’m so proud of you, Elaina. So proud.” he says. 

She is locked in her own world, her eyes not seeing him. Elaina is focusing on her child, the instinct of her ancestors. 

David knows this. He thinks that she’s maybe the most beautiful he’s ever seen her, the strongest he’s ever known someone to be. 

With her face devoid of makeup, bags under her eyes, she’s natural. Her hair is matted, and she’s making sounds of determination.

David will wait all day for the baby. Elaina pushes, pushes, pushes, and then the nurse whisks the baby away, cleans him off, and swaddles him up, bringing the newborn to his young mother. Elaina’s eyes fill up with tears of joy, and tears stream down David’s cheeks. Crying more than his wife, he’s glad to.

Elaina cradles her baby, staring at his small red face. His eyes are closed, but he opens them briefly, and they are a dark blue. Dark hair frames his face. Elaina laughs softly. “I can’t believe this. He looks just like you.” 

“And you.” David says. Elaina hands him the baby, and he inhales the sweet baby smell.

The couple becomes a trio, and a few years later becomes a quartet.

***

Present Day

Mount Fuji, Japan

A family of sheep live on a farm. Their owners are kind, and they have a lovely pasture on Mt. Fuji. 

The ram wanders the perimeter of the fence, keeping a watchful eye on the ewe and her lamb. She lets her baby suckle for a little while, and when he is fed, wanders behind him as he explores the pasture. She nudges him when they both approach the ram. When it is time to sleep, she cuddles up next to her lamb and sleeps next to him.

The ram watches the loving mother rest, his mate. He fathered the lamb, and watches out for them both. He knows they are safe from wolves and other things, but it is his duty to his mate and child. 

***

Present Day

Freetown, Sierra Leone

Tenneh holds her son, Abdul’s, hand, as they cross the busy street into the supermarket. Tenneh loves her son very much, and when they enter the store, she indulges in a pint of his favorite ice cream. 

Abdul giddily runs into the house and fixes himself a bowl, and Tenneh asks for some. Her son graciously hands her a bowl, and together, they eat their ice cream. 

***

Present Day

A Town That Is Right On A Forest

 You are walking along a path surrounded by trees. People live in this place, but you stop upon an abandoned bicycle by the side of the road. 

A tree is wrapped part way around the yellow bike, and moss grows on the north side of the bike.

It reminds you of how free nature is, and how useless humans are to stop its reach.

Though several cultures have tried putting the power of nature into a god or saint’s hands, Nature itself is a power no god can wield. 

They can manipulate it, but not completely control it.

***

Present Day

Cuernavaca, Mexico

Antonio watches his best friend Juana straddle her bike and tear down the road, her dusty, barefoot feet helping the bike skid to a stop in front of him. She smiles, laughing as he picks her up off of her bike. He puts her down and they run through Antonio’s family’s property.

They are as wild and free as the wind.

Posted Jul 16, 2021
Share:

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

21 likes 18 comments

Sapphire 🌼
21:45 Jul 28, 2021

Hello!

*!!! LONG COMMENT ALERT !!!*

Before I start ranting, these are just my opinions, and anything I say in this comment are just my thoughts, you absolutely do not have to agree with them or decide to follow any of them :)) This is YOUR story and its up to you to decide what to do with it :D

~~~

I know you said you weren't sure about understanding/interpreting the prompt correctly, but I think the metaphor was really good! I would totally turn it into a quote

"Humans are nature. We are violent and cruel, but we can also be strong, loving, and free." - Pippin Took, 2021

Anyway, as I was reading the first paragraph, I got major Netflix documentary vibes XD (THAT WAS A COMPLIMENT) I loved how you included the location of each scene, like "Gatlinburg, Tennessee (In the Smoky Mountains)". It sounded professional. It was interesting how you reimagined the female birds' POV, and how you gave the dove it's own thoughts and opinions on mating season. :)

I think I was a bit confused at the start about how you switched between nature and human events, but you don't have to worry too much about that, since you kinda start getting the main idea of the story as you go along.

It's incredible how you combined and compared events of the human world with events in nature, and somehow managed to find similarities between the two. That was really interesting and I've never seen such a unique style of writing before.

One thing I would change is this part, ""Ellen turned to her friend Mary, and asked frantically, “Mary, aren’t we locked in?”"

I think you were a bit too straightforward about it, like, before you get your character to state something, maybe back it up with some of the characters' actions or thoughts.

Like for example "Ellen's mind started racing, automatically searching for a way out. Then she remembered something that made her heart stop. She turned to her friend Mary and asked frantically, “Mary, aren’t we locked in?”"

The last sentence of Ellen's POV was....wow. You nailed the suspense and dramatics XD

Another thing I wanted to say is that your use of words and descriptors was brilliant! Like "intermingles" and "ensnares", those were so good!

I love how you set each paragraph in a different place in the world, and how the emotions in this story vary from sadness, happiness, and everything in between! The emotional aspect of this story was so rich and abundant- You definitely did a great job with that.

As a last point of critique, I feel like the the story had a main idea and plot, but it could use a common theme to tie it all together, you know? Like something that each perspective has in common.

Anyway, to end this way too long comment, I think this was a bold, and truly unique story! You should write more of this style! It was super great! <3

- Saph and her way too long comments

Reply

Pippin Took
22:08 Jul 28, 2021

Hi!!!

YUS

kk :D

Well I mean I had no one to work off of....wait whut

HAHAHHA XDDD

THANK YOU

Thank you this helps so much!

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Reply

Sapphire 🌼
22:18 Jul 28, 2021

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD ANYTIME~

Reply

Pippin Took
23:47 Jul 28, 2021

:D

Reply

Pippin Took
13:56 Aug 07, 2021

SAPH!!! DO YOU SEE THE NEW UPDATE??? WE HAVE TO PAY TO ENTER I'M DISGUSTED!!!

😭😭😭

Reply

Sapphire 🌼
22:38 Aug 09, 2021

I DIDDDDD AHHHHHHHHHHHH

dayum that $250 prize do be lookin' nice tho-

BUT STILL AHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS EVIL

Reply

Pippin Took
00:42 Aug 10, 2021

AHHH

ikr...at first i was like "i have been blessed by the gods..." and then i was like

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IKR

Reply

Sapphire 🌼
19:47 Aug 21, 2021

I guess the contests don't really matter anymore so you can post anything you want?? XD Reedsy is now a "post random stories online" platform

Reply

Pippin Took
13:10 Aug 22, 2021

Yeah...but it's going to become a ghost town soon....
yep!! is it just me or are the prompts suddenly really good??

Reply

Alex Sultan
20:12 Jul 23, 2021

I was very impressed by this story! I like the style you wrote it in - the separate entries are really clever with this prompt. I liked the entry with the fox the most. Winter can be cruel.

For feedback, while I think adverbs do work well with this story, I'd say don't rely too much on them. The line 'Suddenly, another worker cried “FIRE!” ' is alright, you could always draft a more vivid approach by cutting the adverb (Suddenly), and replacing it with something like 'A flame caught on the loose window blinds. A worker called 'Fire!'"

Another example would be something simple like 'Abdul giddily runs into the house' You can cut the adverb (Giddily) and write 'Adbul skipped into the house,'
It'd provide the same emphasis while reading easier. Your writing would be a lot more vivid this way.

I think this story has a great concept and is well executed at that, it just needs some polish.

Reply

Pippin Took
20:37 Jul 23, 2021

Thank you for the compliment! Wasn't completely sure how it turned out.

Thank you for the help!! It's always appreciated and I haven't got much feedback for a while!! Will definitely work on it, I want to be a good writer more than anything else.

Thank you!!!

Reply

Pippin Took
01:22 Jul 16, 2021

Hello guys, not completely sure if I understood the prompt properly...

The prose and style of the story is very different, ~PLEASE~ let me know what you think!!!

Have a good day! 😀

Reply

Unknown User
05:09 Jul 16, 2021

Reply

Pippin Took
12:23 Jul 16, 2021

Thank you!!! :D

Reply

Reedsy | Default — Editors with Marker | 2024-05

Bring your publishing dreams to life

The world's best editors, designers, and marketers are on Reedsy. Come meet them.