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Science Fiction Funny Fiction

“Humans are disgusting creatures. Riddled with not only disease of the body but of the mind as well. Constant disagreements leading to wars, blood being used as a currency. Your species has a long journey ahead to be called peaceful.”


“Hmm, I disagree.” 


“Oh?” 


“In fact, I argue that us humans have evolved in ways we never thought we could. Where there is bad there is always good. Where there are crying children in war-torn countries, there are also smiling children comfy in their homes. We may have to be in a constant battle with disease of both body and soul, but we have persevered nonetheless.” 


“And how would you have persevered as you say?” 


“May I give an example?” 


“Go on.” 


“Every person on Earth has a special interest. Whether it be drawing, biking or playing music. One of my personal favorites would be cooking. Cooking food seems like such a tedious task but opens the door to so many possibilities. Not only have humans managed to survive through cooking but they develop it. They discover more and test what ingredients work with what. We don't just survive, we create. We learn and develop. Something so simple as good food can unite people together in the toughest times.” 


“That doesn’t change the fact that there are still the rotten apples of mankind.” 


“Yes, you are correct there. There will always be bad people. But much like your kind, there will be innovators. There will be thinkers, fighters, workers and nurturers. The good ones of the human race may be hard to find but rest assured they are there.”


“Alright fine, say that the good humans are there. Would you say that there are enough good ones to balance out the bad ones?” 


“Haha, no. Not by a long shot. But I will say this, the good ones will last much longer in this world rather than the bad ones. The bad ones always pretend to be strong and wise, to keep a persona up that they are superior to a person with a different background. But the good ones? Now those are the ones who are willing to take a bullet to save another. They are the ones who lend their shoulder for a loved one to cry on, they take care of the weak because they too weren’t always strong.” 


“Hmm, I must say you are an interesting individual. You argue that despite the flaws of your species, the positives will always be able to overcome the negatives, correct?” 


“Yup, to the T.” 


“Well, you’ve almost convinced me. What if the bad were to be gone and the good were to stay?” 


“Well that would be fine and dandy by me, but I wish it were that simple to point out the bad ones.” 


“Ok- now you’re telling me that you can’t always tell who is good and who is bad?” 


“Haha, welcome to Earth. But seriously, it’s always a mixed bag with every single individual. Some have a heart of gold but do bad things. Some can never hope to be a good person but donate millions to charities. Tons of people do what they do everyday just to survive. Some do what they do if it means the survival of their loved ones. It's all a matter of what each person is fighting for I suppose” 


“This planet is such a joke. So you have the good ones that invent and bring you all a step further. But you also have bad ones that will use war as their outlet, yet you can’t even tell at first who is good and who is bad?” 


“If it were easy to spot the bad ones, trust me we wouldn't be talking right now.” 


“Clearly.” 


“Hmm think about us like a deck of cards if you like. Each of us is dealt a hand that we are randomly given from birth. Some have a full house, some have a pair and others have just no matches. They have to pick up more cards in hopes of anything turning into a pair and deal with the consequences if they can’t use the cards they have.” 


“Life is no card game-”


“Oh my god please kindly shush and listen. We all are to deal with what we’ve been given. We choose what we want to do, whether that's making sure the next generation has a better hand or making sure not a single soul is left with no matches. 


“And the bloodshed and cruelty?” 


“Bad people, all of that is the result of power being used by the wrong people. There will always be disagreements, I can’t deny that. But you can’t deny all the progress the amazing minds of Earth have made to ensure that not everyone has to go through such an up-bringing. And one day, who knows when, there can be a time where no one has to live such a life.” 


“Alright, fine.” 


“Wait really?” 


“You win. You and your feeble species may do some of the most idiotic acts in the cosmos, but I will admit that your achievements are commendable.” 


“Haha, you know you’re free to visit anytime. Of course a lot of people may panic with your ahem, people.” 


“Aliens?” 


“Ah yes, I wasn't sure if it was offensive to call you that.” 


“I’ve seen ET, I’m sure your people will adjust to aliens being real quite quickly.” 


“Heh you’d be surprised.” 


“Well, I believe that this concludes our discussion. And don’t worry, this means that we won’t be blowing a hole through Earth.” 


“PHEW” 


“But your memories will be wiped and you will wake up in your home. Any ending words before you never see us again?” 


“Hmm… Have you ever seen the movie Alien?” 


-Sigh- “Yes, we looked through what culture you humans have which includes all your movies that include space lifeforms.” 


“And Rick and Morty?” 


“Yes.” 


“And Men in Black?” 


“YES.” 


“What about Lilo and Stitch-”


“Alright enough, goodbye little human and good luck.”


ZAP


I woke up on my couch, the remote in my hand and my wife leaning over the couch. 

“You okay hon?”

“Yup, I just had a really really weird dream.” 



July 10, 2021 00:02

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2 comments

Jeanne Ellin
14:27 Jul 17, 2021

This is a flash fiction piece and has development potential perhaps some character development would be useful direction to explore.

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Jeanne Ellin
14:25 Jul 17, 2021

A witty story and has development potential But the ending was a little predictable.

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