Dungeons and Kitchens.

*Substances and mild violence/language.

It was Halloween in the village and everyone was in high festivities. All but Jordan the head chef at the Ox Tale. Jordan turned on the equipment and tried not think too much about how he would miss the warmth that day.

He had just changed a supplier, booked the electrician to fix the dishwasher, had two people quit and hired two people replace them and had put off the paper work for it all.

The other chef’s arrived: First Ollie and Lewis, followed by Josh the new sue chef and Aaron the new kitchen porter. The Chef’s began setting up their stations.

“Doing anything for Halloween” Aaron joked to Jordan, he knew most kitchen workers worked during the holiday’s, especially the head chef.

“Doing paper work in the office,” Jordan smiled back. “I wish I was out, my family might be coming here for the Halloween party. My son Casper is going out as Gandalf and my brother is going as Darth Vader, I thought he was a bit old to dress up, but he spent a lot on the costume,” and with that Jordan went to the office upstairs.

The day went by slowly. Lewis and Ollie worked at the back of the kitchen together while Josh and Aaron began talking about lord of the rings.

Lewis walked up behind them looking for the salt when he overheard them.

“What are you talking about?” asked Lewis with a slightly amused expression.

“We’re just talking about lord of the rings, have you seen it?” asked Josh.

“Yeah I watched it a while ago, I didn’t really get it,” then Lewis walked away with the salt.

Josh rolled his eyes.

The back door opened and the electrician walked in and started to work under the sink on the dishwasher. Then the back door opened again.

“Excuse me what are you doing” Lewis said walking over.

“Oh I’ve got a delivery here for, the Ox Tale?” stammered the man.

“Can you leave it on the bench out back, you can’t come in the kitchen like that.” Lewis pointed at the man’s shoes and trousers which where caked in dry mud and grass as if he’d been crawling in a field.

“Freshly picked?” Josh said coming over.

“Sorry I’ve never delivered here before.”

The delivery man gave them two crates of wild mushrooms and promptly left. Josh took the crates and Lewis and Ollie resumed their work.

After Aaron had swept up dirt the man left he went over to Josh.

“Some interesting mushrooms,” Aaron said.

But Josh was lost in thought as he held one in his hand.

“I can’t remember what this one’s called” he said. “Is it a morel or a chanterelles? I can’t tell, but let’s make some mushrooms on toast for ourselves.”

It wasn’t busy so Josh made them all food. Aaron never got round to eating his mushrooms on toast though he said he would.

It was about 4:00 in the afternoon. Ollie had disappeared and everyone else was outside smoking. Lewis sat on the bench on his phone and Josh and Aaron where talking when something caught Josh’s eye.

“Did you see that?” asked..

For a moment Aaron thought he was making a joke and carried on laughing. But Josh grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him down.

He seemed to be stressed. Josh motioned to Aaron to be quiet. Lewis looked up from his phone.

“Over there in the garden, can you see it?” Josh whispered. He was now shaking with fear.

Aaron looked through the open gate from the yard and saw people sat and eating at benches, most of them dressed in Halloween costumes.

“In the sandpit,” Josh said into Aaron’s ear.

“You mean that kid dressed like a bumble bee,” Aaron said.

“That’s a giant bee.”

“No, it’s just a kid in a Halloween costume.”

“No that’s a real bee,” said Lewis now Clutching a rolled up tabloid.

“What are you doing?” asked Aaron.

“I’m allergic to bees” said Lewis gripping the paper.

“Do it,” said Josh.

Lewis ran into the Garden and Josh soon followed him. Suddenly there came an uproar of voices and from what Aaron could tell people where now panicking and fighting. Lewis and Josh occasionally appeared in blurs through the gate amongst costumed people.

Yet Josh and Lewis had many valiant confrontations such as with the giant bee, Darth Vader and the boy dressed as a mouse, whose sordid details shall not be repeated here.

Lewis and Josh rushed back to the kitchen and Aaron followed them in and closed the door. Aaron started to wonder if Lewis and Josh had gone mad.

“There’s loads of them” said Lewis in a puff.

“Skeletons, pumpkin children, buzz light year,” recited Josh from his fresh memory.

Then there came a sound of someone running, speeding toward the Kitchen’s inner door. Josh and Lewis ran and closed it. Lewis took a step back and picked up the broom and snapped the handle free from and pointed it to the door. Josh put his back to the door and slid down, locking his feet ready to hold it shut.

There came a heavy thump from the door and then it began to pushed with erratic vigor. Josh began to convulse as the door pushed into his back.

“I, can’t hold...” John said struggling against the door. “If it’s Vader, hit him in the respirator.”

“What’s the respirator?” asked Lewis.

“Hit him the chest with your spear,” said John.

“And what if it’s the giant mouse child?”

“Then god have mercy on our souls, now get ready!”

Lewis braced himself. John rolled to the side and the door flung open.

Ollie rushed in and slammed the door behind him.

“What did you see” asked Josh as if he hadn't just been panicking a moment ago.

“Fairy’s, two bat man’s and a vampire,” he said still panting.

“We need silver-ware to kill the vampire right?” asked Lewis.

“That’s werewolves you fool,” said Josh stumbling to his feet like a drunk.

“You need a wooden stake to kill a vampire Lewis, even I thought you may have knew that.” Lewis’s shoulders slumped, Josh continued:

“Aaron, fetch me a wooden spoon and a knife, I’m going to teach you how to make a stake.”

“No, let’s not kill the vampire,” said Aaron.

“Then what do you suggest we do?” asked Lewis now leaning on the broom handle.

Aaron didn't know what to say. He stood there tense, while the three Chef’s stared at him. All the while the voices of angry customer’s and staff alike rioted on outside from the chaos they just set off.

Then the back door was knocked. The four workers stopped and turned around.

“Lewis, did you lock the other door?” Josh asked in a hoarse whisper.

Lewis shook his head. The door knocked again. Aaron feared for his life. How would he explain to anyone what was happening and that he was innocent in all this, that the other chef’s are off their railings and possibly assaulting customers.

“Get my knife,” Josh hissed.

Aaron hesitated.

“Get my Knife!”

But it was too late, the door handle began pull itself down. Josh leapt forward and hit the work station with his body and grabbed the knife from the top. He then turned to the door and froze.

‘Gandalf’ he breathed and dropped to his knees, letting go of the knife that then clattered on the floor. Lewis and Ollie didn’t know who it was or what to do, so they made the sign of the cross thinking Gandalf was that important.

“Gandalf you have come to bid us good passage through these perilous lands,” declared Josh, he turned to the others.

“Lewis, Ollie, Aaron, this is Gandalf, he will be our guide and counsel,” he turned back to the little sorcerer. “What would you have us do now?”

Josh got no reply.

“Saving your wisdom for later, I like it. In that case I will lead for now, let’s get ready.”

Josh ransacked the kitchen and found two cardboard boxes, three colanders, one helmet sized pot, various lids to be used as shields, four regular knives, one carving knife, a pointy potato peeler, a big wooden spoon and several rations of food.

“What are you going to do with the boxes?” asked Ollie.

“Make a suite of armor,” said Josh. “For Lewis as he is the biggest and strongest out of all of us.”,

Lewis was honored and once encased in his cardboard carapace adorned he put on the helmet sized pot and knelt on his carving knife. Josh then picked up the spoon and knighted him Sir Lewis of Aldershot.

Aaron watched as the box clad knight got onto his feet. He looked at the other chef’s who stared at Lewis with wonder, as if he really was dressed in armor.

Lewis was the first venture out, he strode into the kitchen courtyard with gallant strides. Aaron, Gandalf, Ollie and Josh waited at the door for the signal.

“I think we’re good to go,” said Ollie.

“Don’t think too fast,” said Josh. “Look.”

Aaron looked out through the gate door, people where still fighting and blue light’s flashed in the car park, it was becoming a hectic night. Then Darth Vader strode into the yard and squared up to Lewis.

“Oi” Vader said in a muffled cockney accent. “You’re the prick who hit my daughter with a newspaper.”

He threw a punch at Lewis but he blocked it with the pot lid.

“Fall back,” Josh Cried. Lewis ran back to the kitchen but was followed by the dark lord who cursed in his thick London accent. The chefs closed the door on him. He banged on the glass with his shoulder several times until at last he got through the door.

Josh fell to the ground in a heap. Vader stepped towards Lewis but Lewis with unusual swiftness stole the broom handle from the floor and plunged it into Vader's respirator.

Join me Luke, and together we will rule the galaxy as father and son, said a dark but distorted voice from Vader's chest plate.

“What’s did he say?” shouted Lewis.

“He’s trying to tempt you to the dark side!” cried Josh.

Vader regained his balance and went to take the broom from the now petrified Lewis. But he never did, because Ollie snatched the broom handle and started to pummel Vader’s chest relentlessly.

He thrashed the plastic costume piece with the wooden stick until bended and buckled and each time he hit it it played another Vader quote until Vader grabbed the handle and pulled it free from Ollie’s hand. The force is strong with this one, said his respirator, for it's last time.

Vader then saw the small Gandalf sat on the dishwasher.

“Casper! There you are, your mother’s been looking for you!” he said.

He went to pick up the stowaway child when a curious thing happened. The electrician who had been obliviously working the whole time under the sink hit a live wire just as the boy reached out.

The lights dimmed for a moment then a lightning bolt left the little wizard’s finger tips and blasted Vader’s respirator into shouldering pieces. Vader fell back as black smoke poured into the air from his chest. The tiny speaker caught fire and began stuttering Vader noises until it whined like tape recorder being slowed down. He fell backwards out of the door, defeated at last.

Even Aaron was stunned.

“Gandalf, you’ve saved us,” said Josh getting to his feet. Casper jumped of the dishwasher and ran back through the door and out the kitchen crying out for his Mum.

“Everyone, Gandalf rides to the garden, let us follow him to battle,” cried John.

Aaron tried to protest but one by one they all left the kitchen until he was left alone. With a reluctant sigh he joined them.

It was late at night when Jordan awoke on the pile of paper work he had fallen asleep on. He looked at his phone and saw he had a dozen or more missed calls. Probably drunk calls he thought. He ignored them and went down into the kitchen and saw it in a peculiar state. It was untidy and the Chef’s where nowhere to be found.

Maybe they had gone to get a drink now Halloween service was over yet judging by the deaf silence it seemed the restaurant was empty. Jordan stood there for a moment and pondered the mystery. He looked around and saw a plate of mushroom’s on toast, then realized how hungry he was.