Seemingly empty (part 5)

Written in response to: Write a story about a character learning to stand up for themselves.... view prompt

20 comments

Fiction Fantasy Horror

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

"How could you, Morrigan?"

The corners of my mouth twitch into an ugly smirk. I slam my fist on the display table, which the crystals almost fell off of. Glaring into Danica's soul. She steps back, holding an arm out to protect the one who persuaded her to leave us in the first place.

"No, Dani, how could YOU?! We were partners. I know you like the back of my own hand. You betrayed us. Nilson, Praxidike... they were furious. I was forced to sit and watch the chaos go down, all because you wanted to pursue 'true love'. Now the servants are forced to stay inside the mansion. We can only go out to get supplies. That's it. I can't believe that you, out of all people, YOU rejected the whole reason of why you were recruited in the first place."

She covers Evangeline's ears, to protect her from what complete nonsense I'm spewing. Well, it's not as absurd as it may sound because it's true. 100% fact. I promise. Actually, why don't I take you down old memory lane?

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Praxidike is a father to me. Tough love all around, strict, but has a soft heart deep down. Which might sound crazy to you, since he's going to make a huge calamity and kill over a thousand of people in cold blood. Some with be spared and others won't. Lots will die, but some will survive. Based on your karma points, we'll see what your death can be.

He is the ultimate judge of a lifetime. He even looks like one, but more majestic with a dark aura. His long natural black, silky-smooth hair. His soft, bushy salt and pepper beard. The tall, muscular build. The deep turquoise green eyes that can shatter all of your self-confidence. This dapper man is the one I look up to. He sees all of us loyal servants as his children.

As his current and hopefully forever favorite child, I am not going to disappoint him like Danica and Nilson has. Not today, never going to happen, EVER. Love is fake. There are only alliances. Trust. Not some stupid, pointless affection.

Evangeline somehow brainwashed Danica to fall in love with her, forcing her to leave us behind to start a new, better life. Well, those are only for the movies, darling. A fresh start is just a way of saying that you are running away from your responsibilities. There's no use in hiding here. She knows what she's doing is wrong.

The only reason we kept her around is because she's Moxie's big sister. She has way less of a potential than Moxie does, but it's good to just put her aside and out of Praxidike's way. I don't think she even realizes that they're siblings. How sad... for them at least. Better for us!

It's less drama about her family about more about the grandparents. Praxi has a really dark past with them. He won't even give me a hint about it! How rude, but to be expected of him thanks to his trust issues. I don't blame him. I would be too, if I was betrayed by someone close to my heart.

She knows that we've been searching for the ingredients for YEARS now, and she's keeping us away from the final one, when we're so close to finishing. I'm not going to allow that. Not with this much pressure on my shoulders. Praxidike is depending on me.

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I take out my dagger, a gift given to me by Praxidike himself, as it glows an ominous neon rose pink. Cyrus's eyes widen, for he is familiar with this very blade I hold in my claw-like hand. He and Danica rush forward, grabbing the nearest deadly object they could find in such a short amount of time.

"After getting this far, I am not backing down this time!" I exclaim, as I dodge Cyrus's spiked flail. My plan is to take Evangeline as hostage, Danica and I have a showdown, and Cyrus flees the scene as always. The spineless coward. He may have loyalty to them now, but once things get dicey, he'll leave them behind. I'm sure of it.

Danica throws a spear in my direction, and I catch it on impact. The spear was going to strike my ankle, but after training, I've learned to listen to my surroundings. The loud whoosh from the spear was a dead giveaway, even if it was in my blind spot. Instead, I impale Cyrus's hand, which was reaching for my neck.

His hand squirts out blood, which trails down his arm. He howls out in agony, but he's determined to not let that get in the way of him. Evangeline tries to aid him, but Danica is aware that she is my target. "Hand over the reeds, damn it!"

Angie takes a bejeweled box and dashes out of the yurt using a secret passageway underneath. I attempt following her but Danica and her freakishly tall body blocks the way. "Move out of the way Dani, I'm not here for you." I half-lie.

Well sure, I want to fight her. But it's not her, Cyrus, or even Evangeline who I'm actually going after. It's WHAT. I need the wrath reeds. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. If only they could just hand them over like I suggested earlier, but they always have to make this harder for me than it needs to be.

My palms glow neon lime green, as I ram my finger into Danica's left eye. She staggers backwards, bumping into the bookshelf, and collapsing onto the floor, trying to get back up and failing miserably. "Pathetic. After your harsh training, you still can't fight? Pitiful creature." I mutter as I deliberately knock over a lit candle. "Oops! Guess you'll go out in flames. See you in hell, then."

Running through the underground passageway, I spot Evangeline's medium champagne hair glistening through the cracks of sunlight. "Aha, there you are." I whisper as I silently creep around the corner and yanks on her hair, pulling her to ground. She whimpers as I put my dagger to her throat. "The reeds. Give them to me. And you won't get hurt if you do."

I thought the gasp came from her, but I was clearly mistaken. A lanky, ashy tow-headed boy in an indigo sweatshirt saw me. Tacito. I hiss at her to move faster and grab the box from Evangeline. I got the reeds, but at what cost?

-To be continued...-

July 05, 2022 16:42

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20 comments

Philia S
13:11 Nov 21, 2022

Heyo Ace :) Long time no talk. How's everything? Hope you're well. (And still waiting for the next part loll)

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Moon Lion
22:34 Aug 24, 2022

Hello! Long time no read ;) Just checking in, all okay with you?

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Moon Lion
04:18 Jul 24, 2022

Hello again! Loved reading this, and keeping with your request for more feedback: 1) Could you maybe mark the entries or write at the beginning whose POV it is? (Just for convenience) 2) am not going to disappoint him like Danica and Nilson has. Not today, n (has should be have, just a minor tense issue). 3) going to make a huge calamity and kill over a thousand (going to cause a calamity and kill over a thousand people) 4) I'll leave more relevant plot related feedback (if I have any lol) once I re-read the series from the start to h...

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Ace Quinnton
01:24 Jul 25, 2022

The POV for this one is Morrigan. Hope that clears things up. I'll fix the grammar and spelling issues as soon as I can. Thank you for the feedback. I appreciate any critic you or anyone else gives to me. Tell the person that I said good luck to their exam! (They may not know me, but it feels good to give encouragement anyways.) I'm looking forward to be seeing you comment in the next one.

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Moon Lion
01:26 Jul 25, 2022

I'll be happy to comment again! Sorry, I knew it was Morrigan, but I wanted to give some advice in general, perhaps for other readers. Thanks!

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Zack Powell
23:21 Jul 09, 2022

Great chapter here, Ace. I find action/fight scenes incredibly difficult to write, but the combat here flowed well, was sensorily engaging, and had a good amount of suspense. It's nice when fights could go either way and it's not obvious which way that it is. This might be my favorite chapter of this story. This glues together a lot the previously unconnected pieces of the story. Plus, we got some good Morrigan and Praxidike backstory and development, and there was some nice, relevant Moxie sibling information here too (she's still my favor...

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Ace Quinnton
18:47 Jul 10, 2022

Thank you for reading and commenting. My intrusive writer thoughts and violent video game knowledges helps me do fighting/action scenes. It really depends on how much damage will be caused. Mild or severe? Unscathed or deadly? These are the thoughts writers should have while writing those kinds of scenes. Suspense is easy to build up, with a subtle and vague ominous wording. Fights can go either way because each character has their own strengths and weaknesses. Never all strength, never all weakness. There is balance. More pros or more cons...

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Philia S
18:17 Jul 05, 2022

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo-why TvT Lemme jump straight to the most important part, when's the next part? I need it. TvT Anyway, lovely story. Twas packed with action and suspense. Tiny grammatical mistake in the firs paragraph. That's all, really. Twas wonderfully written. Also, Tacito too? Dear me, I thought Tac would be sensible enough to look out for the ✨ evil people ✨ TvT

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Ace Quinnton
18:23 Jul 05, 2022

You'll be getting the next part when the next prompt arrives. (If the prompt can be twisted into the storyline, that is.) Mind telling me the grammar error? And what did you notice about the story that really caught your eye? Critique, encouragement, opinions, anything at all? Tacito is a coward. A smart coward. He rises up to the occasion when it's desperately needed. The next Seemingly empty part six will be in Moxie's POV. It'll be interesting, that's for sure.

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Philia S
21:08 Jul 05, 2022

Well, that's nice. XD Twas a tense switch, I believe. Well, I don't really have critique rn(probably cause tis the middle of da night and I can't think) but I think the piece was written quite nicely. The way you show Dani trying to fight for what she knows is right and what she has grown up with(assuming she and Moxie were brought up by Praxie, indirectly). I'm just rather anxious to see Cyrus's decisions. He did fight back so I think, perhaps he is made of good stuff. Anyway, like I said, no critique--twas really nice. :) Ooh! Looking fo...

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Ace Quinnton
15:12 Jul 06, 2022

You're almost there but not quite... Moxie was raised by Charlie and Nilson (since they don't know that he's the traitor, but ever since Gwenore told Moxie and Tacito about him, they are on edge about him.) And Danica was raised by Praxidike, because he took (kidnapped) her in at a young age. She's stubborn and is resentful of him. Cyrus is a good guy, but he can be selfish sometimes. His sarcastic yet somehow arrogant-ness puts him off as a narcissist coward. When in reality, he isn't. He just values himself but makes sure to take care of...

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Philia S
23:10 Jul 06, 2022

Ooh! I see. I was speculating about it yesterday and had a wonderful thought about where this could be going but I forgot it now. TvT Ooh, I see! Basically he's morally grey? XD I am, dw. XD How are you?

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Ace Quinnton
15:14 Jul 07, 2022

Tell me about it once you remember it. Cyrus is morally grey, but he's trying to improve. You'll see some character development for him. I'm nervous because my cousin's father (probably the most homophobic man I've met so far) is taking me and my cousins to the mall. Pride month just past, so I don't know if they took the pride stuff down yet or not. I'm not 'out' as genderqueer/nonbinary and romantic attraction questioning. (Asexual baby!) You?

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