The Arrangement

‘Move.’

‘Why?’

‘Cause, you’re in my way.’

‘And what if I don’t?’

‘I’ll step on your foot.’

In my mind, I was thinking ‘ i dare you. I dare you to step on my foot, you insufferable, adorable, arrogant, wonderful, smart ass, nuisance.’ But instead, I said ‘Wow. Real mature. What are you, 8?’

‘Stubborn intolerable mule.’

Jeez. I didn't know how to respond.

‘Damn nuisance.’ I whispered under my breath, but she heard me

‘I just so happen to be the nuisance that saves your grades every week.’

She had a point, science wasn’t my thing…

‘Anyways eyeball, what’s your brother doing after school?’

What did she want with Sam? And of course- her clever little nickname that she thought I hated. I could hear it in my head everytime she talked to me; ‘get it?? Because Iris is like-part of your eyeball? Yeah. Clever.

‘I don’t know. Why?’

‘None of your business

‘Oh really? Well, I could make it my business.’

What. Why did I say that? What was this conversation even? Why was Charlie, the smart badass supermodel level chick who seemingly hated my guts even talking to me? Our relationship was usually limited to a joking kick or a snide remark in the hall- of course when we were not arguing in science as lab partners.

‘I doubt even you could do that eyeball. Anyways, eyeball- I need your help’

Of course. Why else would she talk to me?

‘Wha- um what do you need?’

‘Well-  as much as I hate to say this, your badass vibe is kinda necessary.’

‘What.’

‘Well- maybe- never mind- sorry’ she blushed. I, Iris Stanley, made charlie- whatever her last name was- blush? Realy? Wow, I mean, sure, I was a punk, motorcycle and piercings and everything, but I didn’t know I had that power- maybe I didn’t, I was probably overthinking, in any case, I didn’t want this conversation to end.

‘No, no tell me whatcha need and I will say yes. Given that I am so so so much cooler than you-’  she interrupted me

‘Well I was going to ask-er-well’

I was getting nervous

‘Spit it out.’

‘Ok. You want blunt? My cousin invited me to a party, but they expect me to come with a date, which i don't have.’

‘Wait- are you asking me out?’ oh my god oh my god oh my god!

‘Uh no.’

‘Then wha-’

‘Im asking you to pretend to be my girlfriend. It’s weird- but the party is gonna be cool. You in or…?’

‘’What. I mean- sure- but- why me?’ heart thumping

‘Cause, eyeball, you poor idiot, you are the only out lezbian that I know except me.’

‘Oh.’ Of course. Of course, that was it- I was definitely not hoping for something more. No. not at all.

‘Ok, fine, but it is very weird.’ was I being defensive?

‘No kidding. Thanks a bunch, eyeball, seriously. Here’s my phone number, ‘ll pick you up at seven-ish?’

‘Yeah, sounds good’ pick me up? Oh god, this was gonna be a weird and wonderful evening and I didn’t even know why.

Maybe if I yell at her she’ll look at me again. I'm pathetic.

‘Move.’ She turned to me with a bemused smile.

‘Why?’

‘Cause, you’re in my way.’ Jeez was i in it or what

‘And what if I don’t?’

‘I’ll step on your foot.’ Really, it was a bluff. A petty bluff at that.

‘Wow. Real mature. What are you, 8?’

Felt like it

‘Stubborn intolerable mule.’ Why would I say that?

‘Damn nuisance.’ She mumbled. I wondered if i actually offended her

‘I just so happen to be the nuisance that saves your grades every week.’ I faked a smirk ‘Anyways eyeball, what’s your brother doing after school?’ Why would I ask that? I didn't care what Sam did? I wanted to know what Iris was doing- not her brother

‘I don't know. Why?’

God only knew. I had no idea.

‘None of your business’

‘Oh really? Well, i could make it my business’

She was adorable when she had no idea what to say. But i didnt come to see how adorable or lost i could get her. I came with a question.

‘I doubt even you could do that eyeball. Anyways, eyeball- I need your help’

‘Wha- um what do you need?’

Try not to fall into prais-

‘Well-  as much as I hate to say this, your badass vibe is kinda necessary.’ Well so much for that…

‘What.’ She looked so confused i wavered. My head flushed and i retreated. Nononono.

‘Well- maybe- never mind- sorry’ oh god oh god

‘No, no tell me whatcha need and I will say yes. Given that I am so so so much cooler than you-’

‘Well I was going to ask-er-well’ oh god oh god. 

‘Spit it out’ oh my god how?

‘Ok. You want blunt? My cousin invited me to a party, but expects me to come with a date, which I don't have.’ Half true. I told my cousin that I had a girlfriend. And maybe I may have told him that her name was iris. Ok I blew it.

‘Wait-are you asking me out?’

Yeah. Wait-but stay cool

‘Uh no.’ Shit.

‘Then wha-’

‘Im asking you to pretend to be my girlfriend. It's weird, but the party is gonna be cool. You in or…?’

‘’What. I mean- sure- but- why me?’

Cause your cute. Cause you're cool. Cause you're nice and hot and awesome and I am in love with you, dumbass.

‘Cause, eyeball, you poor idiot, you are the only out lezbian that I know except me.’

‘Oh.’ She looked down- did she look- disappointed ? ‘Ok fine. But it's very weird.’

‘No kidding. Thanks a bunch, eyeball, seriously. Here’s my phone number, ‘i'll pick you up at seven-ish?’

I pulled the paper I had been gripping for dear life out of my pocket and handed it to her and turned a little too fast to drive away. Tonight would either be epic or disastrous.