HEART DESIRES

                                              HEART DESIRES

‘I want you to study law,’ my mom said.

I stared at her for a while without finding the exact words to tell her. I love my mom and I’ve always wanted to impress him but this time I don’t think I can.

I have two months remaining to complete high school, and this is what she has to say?

           ‘Mum I want to study Literature and I’ll do theatre arts afterwards,’ I said calmly, I just hope she understands me.

           ‘Where the hell will you work!?’She asked more like a yell.

           ‘Mom, for literature I’ll work wherever my services will be needed though I want to use the skills in my writing and theatre arts, I want to be an actress,’ I said.

           ‘Not in this house,’ she said sternly and left.

I dragged my lazy self out of the house to visit Stella. She has been my friend for a long time and also our neighbor. After knocking for a while, she opened the door for me.

           ‘I have been at the door for like forever,’ I complained and she just laughed.

           ‘Sorry about that, I was sleeping. What’s up with you, you look like someone who has been chased by a ghost,’ she said teasing me.

           ‘My mom still wants me to do law, if I want another thing not in her house,’ I slummed on the couch resting my head on it.

           ‘Who does that in the 21^st century?’

           ‘My mom does that? Imagine being in school for seven years without a break. I can’t do that? I’ll even take a part-time class for theatre arts. We all know I don’t sit down for hours to read such things,’

           ‘According to act 287 of the constitution,’ she mocked.

           ‘Not now, please,’ I pleaded.

           ‘Let’s forget about that, I have news for you. This is for a poetry competition, you are going there to win. This is for a singing and dancing competition, we are going to attend,’ she said and handed two envelops to me.

           ‘It’s long we practiced dancing and what song will we do? When will we even practice? My mom won’t accept?’ I rushed with words.

           ‘You aren’t planning on telling her, are you? About the poetry you write it and I help you design on the computer. I have a laptop. Then write the song and bring it we practice together with the dancing steps, we still have one month. I talked to William and he promised to help us practice and even record the song then we can pay him later,’ she said.

           ‘For this poems all the shortlisted participants will be called to their office which from this information, is a two hour drive from here. How will we attend?’

           ‘One problem at a time, unless you want a heart attack, go and write. Come tomorrow, we discuss the next step. Take a photo of the details, I can’t risk this,’

           ‘I can’t misplace them,’

           ‘Those words are almost turning into your national anthem,’

After chatting for a while I walked back home. That night, I didn’t sleep, I wrote several drafts until I came out with something nice. I lowly sang the song as I recorded it in my phone to master the tune.

           ‘So you aren’t asleep but doing your drama?’ mom asked entering the room.

           ‘Mum, I was reading and went on a break,’ I lied.

           ‘Better, because you aren’t going to do any pathetic job,’ she said and left.

I closed my book and faced the ceiling.

           ‘Dear God, I hope my mom understand I don’t want to be a lawyer. I love singing, dancing, acting and writing. I want to do lively things, not some court cases. Help me Lord,’ I prayed but couldn’t sleep.

My mind drifted back on how I started writing. I was only ten and I wrote my first poem on my mom’s birthday. It was dedicated to her and she praised me a lot. That gave me the strength to write more. I wrote several poems and I had the desire to right a story. I had ideas but couldn’t put them down. I always felt that something was missing. I stopped writing at fifteen due to the work at home. My mom had gotten a job and I remained at home with my sister. She never gave me space. After my grade eight I felt lonely as I always remained at home alone. I opted for my paper and pen to keep me company.

I had a book full of poems and had one unfinished fiction story. One day I came home from school and found out my sister had burned my book. She found out about it and even told mom who thought it was a waste of time. I felt broken and hurt. I stopped writing. I met Stella some months later and we became friends. We joined the dancing club in school and I felt happy. When she found out that I could write, she felt happy and wanted to help me.

I joined several writing competitions and have won some. My mom doesn’t know about them and I have hidden the awards. It was easier because she was rarely home. I’ve always felt happy and contended. Stella always believed I was the best and I could do anything.

I remembered all she has done to me and I couldn’t help but smile. I walked to the window and looked at her house. I’ll always adore her. I will try my best to win the award to make her proud and my mom. I know she will be proud after all the award giving ceremony, all parents are always proud of their kids.

The next days were hectic as I had to run away from home to go for practice then come back to meet an angry mom. She has occasionally beat me up and sometimes denied me food. I sat on my bed thinking on how I could run away and attend the finals. I have one hour left and mum isn’t leaving the house. My phone rang and I picked it immediately.

           ‘I’m ready just come then I’ll give you my clothes, we can’t miss,’ Stella said.

           ‘I’m on my way,’ I said and she hanged up. I couldn’t tell her that am still in the house.

I opened my window and jumped out. I ran to the gate and left heading to Stella’s house. Her mom was there and she seemed happy, I wish my mom could accompany me.

She drove us to the venue while I kept thinking of my mom.

           ‘Put on a smile and let’s do this,’ Stella said as we went on stage. We were tagged as contestant seven in the dancing competition and I was contestant ten for the poem.

We sat with other contestants as the judge called the winners according to the category. When he got to poetry, I felt nervous as different thought ran through my mind. He called from position ten and he now wanted to call the winner.

           ‘And the winner of the poetry award is contestant number ten,’ he said as the hall was filled with noise.

Stella smiled as she pushed me from my sit. I walked slowly to the stage with every step wishing my mom was on my side.

           ‘Did you come with someone to take a photo as you get the award?’ he asked and my heart sank.

I looked at the crowd expecting Stella’s mum to come only to see my mom coming from the crowd with a smile. I felt heated up as I didn’t know what to expect. I hope she waits till we get home before she scolds me. She took the award on my behalf with the best smile ever.

We got the second position for the dancing and I’m so happy. I just need to enjoy this moment and see what awaits me at home.

           ‘Ivy is back,’ mom said on our way back and I felt drums playing in my head.

That meant bad luck.

           ‘Thank you for calling me to witness such for my daughter,’ she told Stella’s mom as Stella winked.

           ‘I’m proud of you?’ she said and I smiled.

           ‘I don’t want to be a lawyer,’ I said.

           ‘Okay, we will talk later. For now let’s enjoy the moment,’ she said.

I got down from the car and met a smiling Ivy outside.

           ‘My sister is a winner, I saw you on TV,’ she said happily.

The house was dark and I wonder what she’s doing outside.

 Mom led the way inside as the sweet aroma welcome us.

           ‘Is there a party that we are missing out?’ Stella asked.

           ‘Surprise!’ people shouted as the lights were switched on.

Everywhere was decorated and I’m shocked I can’t believe it.

The party was awesome. I was more happy that mom was happy about it and for once proud of me.

THE END