A Night in the Hospital

The hospital had significantly quieted down from the frantic movement of the morning hours. The darkness filling her room, mixed with the lack of activity coming in and out, allowed the dread that she had been trying to suppress to fill her. The dread was like a fire, one that had been smoldering ever since she had awoken under the bright lights of her first room. The moment her nurse left, she took one shuddering breath that provided enough oxygen to set that fire ablaze. 

 It had taken so much of her energy to stay still and follow all of the commands she had been given. Everyone worked so hard to ensure her comfort and safety and she hated the idea of displaying anything that could be mistaken as ungrateful – though it was clearly not for her benefit.

She pulled her feet closer to her chest and let out a hard kick to move the covers down her legs. They were too heavy and made her feel even more constrained than she already felt by the medical equipment attached to her body. Even worse, they insulated her body heat and made it harder and harder for her to breathe. It felt like no oxygen was reaching her lungs. That with every breath,  the heat from her seared through the very molecules that kept her alive. Terror moved through her as she realized she had started to hyperventilate. 

With a few more kicks she shifted the blankets completely off of her body. The cooler air flowed over her body as she forced her body into stillness. Her legs ached from the movement.

She placed her hand on her chest to force her breathing to return to normal, though with some difficulty. All she could think about was all the violations that she had experienced, as if she weren’t even human.

They prodded her without her consent and their only conversations with her were specifically directed at the safety of the child growing inside of her. It was always “the baby’s this” and “the baby’s that”. Her name was never mentioned anymore, not that Jane was her actual name. That actually made it worse.

 The flicker of hate subdued as she considered why her personhood had been so dismissed. She couldn’t really blame them. They had worried about her condition earlier on, but then it had stabilized. The baby, however, had not been as lucky.

Her slumber had protected her from the worst of their conversation about her condition when she had first arrived. Occasionally, she would still overhear comments about the source of her injuries, commonly hypothesized to be an abusive lover. 

She glanced over at her nightstand imagining the hidden jewel they had found with her unconscious body. A dainty silver ring she had clutched in her hand as she laid dying in the streets. It was beautiful and, as much as she had loved it, their gossip had pressured her into hiding the little treasure. It didn’t take very long for her to slip the ring into an envelope and stuff it into the drawer. She hated seeing the looks they gave the ring almost as much as she hated hearing those hushed discussions about her.

 When they assumed she was too preoccupied to notice, they would shoot pitiful glances her way. Her life was a tragic reminder of the dangers of domestic violence and she couldn’t even defend herself. 

 When she had first awoken, they had directly asked about the identity of the child’s father. Her inability to provide the detailed information was very acceptable in the beginning. It had obviously just been the trauma that contributed to her amnesia.

 That allowance was quickly consumed, as their understanding slowly transformed into annoyance with each passing day. Their pity took a hostile turn to judgement as they began to suspect that she faked her condition. That, just like all the other women protecting their abusers, she didn’t want her confession to result in his punishment. 

No, she couldn’t blame them for their indifference towards her, they thought they were the only protectors of her child. It didn’t help the situation that she didn’t feel any attachment to the child. 

A flutter swam through her lower abdomen at the thought, as if the child wanted its protest to be noted. Even worse, the movement rubbed against areas of her body that still held the deep soreness of blunt force trauma. Her ribs and lower back had been covered in a collage of blues, purples, and yellow bruises illustrating her mosaic of pain.

In fairness, she innately knew that she had loved the child, at some point – but that love had been fleeting. Now whenever she glanced down at her protruding abdomen she could only see another reminder of the life she couldn’t remember and she already had enough of those. 

It had been two days since she had last allowed herself to look in the mirror to see the damage showcased along her body. Last time, she didn’t have the foresight to wait until she was alone and her nursing team had to awkwardly spend hours on and off to calm her down. This time she would not make the same mistake.

 She glanced at her board in the front of the room and read the schedule of the next round of checks. Towards the bottom she was able to see that Valerina was next set to enter at 10:37pm. The clock hanging above the chalkboard showed that she had another 45 minutes to herself before anyone was set to disturb her.  

The fire that burned inside her caused her muscles to twitch painfully compelling her to leave the bed. Slowly, she dragged her legs to the end of the bed to place her bare feet on the floor. Much like the rest of her body, they had not been spared of injury, and the ache that moved through them alerted her to that fact. The brunt of the pain was under the large yellow white bandage that had been wrapped around her big toe. It was a searing pain that intensified as she continued to lower more and more of her body weight down onto the floor. Eventually, it evened out to a dull beat of pain that was tolerable. 

She reached out for her IV pole with her left hand and grasped it for balance. Once she felt that her weight was evenly distributed between her feet and the pole she pulled it towards the bathroom with her. Darkness covered most of the room leaving only two small beams of light shining into the bedroom from the door, which had been left slightly ajar. 

The small amount of light was helpful to alleviate some of her nighttime anxiety. Sleep had become an elusive thing to her. Anytime she would close her eyes she could feel that there was something lying right under the surface waiting to torture her. It felt as if she were about to relive every act of violence and pain that she had already endured. It was a gnawing feeling that refused to let her sleep for any extended period of time. Despite these disturbances and her pleading, her room had been left in the dark. It was imperative that she got the rest she needed, for the baby’s sake of course, at least that’s what she was told. 

The bathroom had been blocked from receiving any light from the hallway and its darkness made her hesitant to enter. She lifted the light switch with a flick and stepped in. It had taken her a few days to get used to the delay of the fluorescent lights though it was still disorientating. Her eyes glanced up as she wondered if the light bulbs had died without her noticing. The moment that she was about to give up the blinding light finally moved through the small room.

 Her arm reflexively lifted in an attempt to shield her eyes before she felt the slight tug from her arm’s IV line prevent her from blocking the light completely. 

Her eyes closed tightly as she switched to using her other arm to block out the residual light. When the light dimmed, she slowly lowered her hand to open her eyes. Bright white was the only thing she could see at first due to the strain of her eyelids clenching to keep the light out. A few seconds went by before the light began to dissipate and the image of the mirror faded into existence.

She struggled to allow her eyes to take in her own reflection as her body resisted by looking at the silver rim of the mirror instead. Her peripheral vision would not allow her the reprieve from seeing her own face, to her disappointment. She just wanted enough time to prepare herself but it was a luxury that she was not meant to have. 

Though she knew that she had a comfortable amount of time before she was next checked on, the idea of standing in the bathroom for too long nauseated her. She came in there for a reason, so she forced herself to look directly at her own image.

Her blue eyes stood the most eye-catching element of her face, in spite of everything that surrounded them. The mix of purples, blues and yellows only acted to highlight the contrast of her eyes shining from the watery and swollen aspects of them. She was indeed a sight to be seen. A bright red line ran from the upper left side of her hairline all the way across to the lower right side of her jaw. It crossed along her eyebrow, eye, nose and finally her mouth. The sutures traced along the line forcing the configuration of her face to align almost naturally.  

The sudden urge to heave burst through her body and she dropped to her knees, her head hovering over the cold porcelain. She could feel her stomach and ribs clench to forcibly empty her stomach. Fortunately, the only thing that escaped was the burning yellow bile that squirted from her throat. Her body clenched again pushing out a small amount of bile. Tears fell down her face as she felt her body prepare for another contraction. She took a deep breath before the final squeeze rocked her body, pushing out only air. Fatigue moved through her as she felt that she could finally begin to relax. With the back of her bandaged hand, she wiped away the tears forming ­–

A soft hiss.

 Her whole body stiffened and froze with her hand lingering against her face. She kept her eyes locked ahead as she held her breath, trying to discern the source of the sound. It had been so low she began to question if she had even heard it at all. As much as she wanted to turn her head, she was afraid that any movement would alert it to her presence.  

Her heart pounded louder and louder as she tried to force her heartbeat to slow – straining to hear the hiss again. Silence filled the room as fear took hold of her body. Visions of serpents slithering around her crouched form filled her mind. There were only so many creatures that made that sound and she had to keep herself from looking into every dark corner. She realized that she had moved herself against the toilet, which cast the largest shadow in the room. She pulled her arms and legs close to her chest and slid her body slightly further from the toilet.

 In the bright lights she could clearly see that she was alone. Even as she took a cautionary glance behind the toilet all she could see were dark pipes and grey laminate. 

 Minutes passed and she had yet to hear another sound. She pressed her shins into the linoleum, fighting the impulse to stand up. It only lasted another minute before the pain against her shins became unbearable and she pushed herself up. 

 A rush of pink blossomed on her face as she realized that it must have been her imagination. It was ridiculous for her to have thought otherwise. She was in a completely safe place. 

 Not only was she in a hospital that had building security, she also had three personal guards who took shifts around her door 24/7. This decision had been made by the police chief after her case had been deemed one of “extreme interest” to their department. Not a statement that she had been too keen to hear but one she was now extremely grateful for. The realization was enough to start the process of her body relaxing, though she highly doubted that she would actually get any sleep that night like the nurses wanted. 

With a quick hit, she pushed down the handle of the toilet and sent her vomit elsewhere before walking over to the sink to rinse her mouth. The taste of bile slowly dissipated and a growing thirst started to take over. Her mouth had been so dry and it was all she could manage not to just fit her mouth over the faucet and swallow the running water. Instead, she placed her lips into the running stream and gulped down as much as she could handle, becoming somewhat bloated from her efforts. 

She really needed to lie back down in her bed. Her body was in desperate need of that water and it would have been a shame to just throw it up all over the floor around her. 

With as much control as she could muster, she turned around and moved towards the bathroom door. Her hand raised and hovered over the light switch.

 She furrowed her brow and stared at the levitating glow within the shadow of the two ribbons of light. There were two small orbs of multi-colored light swaying up and down. A mix of greens, browns, and yellow swirled around becoming clearer as the orbs started to grow in size. They had started as small as quarters but reached the size, and shape, of eyes. The colors were constantly changing patterns, mesmerizing her. 

A loud hiss broke the spell. She took a shaky breath and stepped back from the door. 

Another hiss sounded out closer to where she was standing. She jerked her head to look down at her feet. Still, she saw nothing.

 She swung her head back up and stared directly at a robed figure that had suddenly appeared, sitting in the chair next to her. Their face was obscured by the darkness of their hood. 

Bright lights slowly emerged from the abyss of its face to rest where its eyes should have been.  

An icy fear pierced through her body as one word came to her mind: Mitrik.  

Her forehead wrinkled in confusion. It felt like a name, but it was one that she didn’t recognize. She leaned forward letting her eyes take in the nightmarish creature. In horror she watched as white, sharp teeth appeared in a wide grin that stretched from one side of its face to the other. 

She stumbled back, tripping over the side of the toilet. The IV crashed to the floor, ripping the needle out of her vein and squirting blood all over the white linoleum. Her hands slid around, creating a swirling image of red and white as she tried to drag her body away from the creature, now leaning forward in its chair. 

Another hiss sounded, stealing her attention back to her legs where she felt the crawling sensation of something beginning to wrap itself around her body. She felt a series of contractions along the outsides of her thighs before the weight shifted higher up her abdomen. 

She screeched and clawed at the thing that slowly tightened around her body. Her nails dug straight down under the creature to rip it off of her. Blood flowed out the punctures she had made in her own body while the creature continued to tighten its hold. She knew that if she didn’t get it off of her quickly, the thing would kill her, just like all the others.

Large hands clamped around her shoulders and restrained her hands. She twisted and pulled her hands open and closed before she was shoved down flat on the ground. Her throat seared in pain as she continued to scream.

White light blared down onto her face, pulling her from the ghostly images that clouded her vision. 

On either side of her were two nurses that held her arms and legs pinned to the ground while three other nurses stood nearby, preparing needles and medications. But they might as well have been invisible to her. All she could do was search for the missing villains. Over and over, she looked between her empty legs and the previously inhabited chair, yet nothing reappeared. 

The thing that had been sitting in the chair and whatever had attached itself to her body had vanished without leaving any evidence that they ever even existed. 

Hysteria overtook her as her breathing shook in short heaves. Her body shuddered uncontrollably. The name that had appeared, Mitrik, stuck itself into her head. The more that she tried to lose it the deeper and deeper it would imbed itself.

Along her body she could feel the movement of pricks as the memory of every laceration seeped up from her body.  Her mind screamed at her to block those memories from rising. It was the most important thing she could do at that moment.

With as much air as she could muster, she screamed and screamed and screamed. Her breath ran out with a sob before she slipped into darkness.