Si Vis Amari, Ama

The gun glimmered menacingly under the low tungsten lights. Vic just stood afar, staring at us with her dull, piercing hazel eyes.

"Make your choice," she said, now rhythmically tapping the nose of the gun on her hand, which made me wince.

I glanced at the others in hopes someone would give me a look of reassurance, that none of this is truly happening. That I'm not seeing Vic with her finger resting on the trigger.

But no one has looked away from her. Their eyes were darting back and forth on the gun and the three crimson red envelopes propped up inside the glass box. We were all frozen still.

For a few seconds, the large room fell into stillness. This silence was jarring and Vic's intimidating gun tapping only made it worse. The sound was ten times more clear in our ears, even if we were fifteen feet away from her.

I saw Kate fidgeting a glowing object inside her jacket pockets.

"Call for help, and you won't get anything," Vic threatened, her eyes closely observing Kate.

"Vic, please don't do this. We're your friends!" Danny spoke, clenching his fists and frowning deeper.

Vic stopped, gripping the handle of the gun tighter. "If you were, you would have decided already, but here you are pleading."

She approached the round table supporting the glass box and ran her fingers on the smooth edges. I saw her smile as she does laps around it.

Kate stomped her feet. "Why are you doing this, Vic?" she demanded, her voice cracking.

Vic stopped, her back turned to us. The lights above flickered for a second as silence hung around us once more. Now it feels like everyone's holding their breath.

Kate's eyes softened. She drew closer to Danny and wrapped her arm around his. Brian and I exchanged looks of worry for a few moments, gritting our teeth from the tense wait.

"'Why?'" Vic replied, "Surely you know."

She turned around, slowly facing us. Her fierce look shifted to pity now, but she was still trying to maintain her smile.

I saw them frown at her remark, but I was more pre-occupied with her sudden expression. I hadn't seen her like this ever. She'd always been the most carefree and free-spirited popular girl. Now she felt distant and unstable. Her traits were foreign to me. None of her actions pointed to her being the same as the girl I remembered her to be. The one I—

"Stop," Brian bellowed, "No more riddles, Vic. This isn't a game anymore. You're making us choose over something ridiculous."

"It's a simple choice, Brian," Vic retorted. "Forfeit your win or walk away with triple the prize. All of you must choose the same thing."

"We know what you'll do once we walk away. You'll...you'll—" Brian struggled to finish his words, but we all know what he was trying to say.

Vic interrupted him with a laugh. She swiftly raised the gun to her temple and looked at us straight on. "You mean this?"

"No!" we all yelled as we all instinctively jerked forward with our arms stretched out.

Our voices rung hauntingly, bouncing on the walls. This was the first time I've spoken since we got here, but it felt like I've already lost my voice again.

Vic, with disturbing amusement, laughed once more. "Look at all of you. Pathetic."

"Please, Vic. Don't do this," Kate pleaded. Her eyes were threatening to cry while she tightened her grip on Danny's arm.

"Don't do what, make you choose over money or me?" Vic lowered the gun. "Your hesitation is not surprising to me. It's why I've planned this scavenger hunt in the first place. To lead the four of you here and expose you for who you are."

Nobody spoke, nor dared to produce a noise. We were once again stunned and horrified to have heard her talk like that, but she was right.

Vic continued to speak, "I did give you the benefit of the doubt. That two-week break? That was a test. I thought you'd be concerned with my well-being and come visit or at least call in to check on me. But no. Not one of you called."

She looked at me after finishing her sentence. I felt my shoulders get more tense, so I looked away from her death glare.

I did want to call and visit. But at that time I felt guilty. I could still recall her enthusiastic nature on the dance floor. How the ends of her wavy drab hair moves with her as she dances. Her sultry lips taunting me. But my most prominent memory of that night was her hot breath catching into my lungs. But I couldn't take her. I'm not what she thinks I am. So I ran off, leaving only a word of apology. Then she stopped going to school the day after.

"We were going to come visit you," Kate interjected.

"Y-Yeah but we got so caught up with homework that we didn't have time," Danny asserted.

Brian gritted his teeth, hesitating to speak up. He opened his mouth, but struggled to form words.

And I just stood there, choosing to keep silent.

"You think that's all I did? Just hanging out by my phone?" Vic cackled, "I've been tracking the credit cards that I gave you. And surprise, surprise, you all bought so many stuff. But oh, it must have been just a misunderstanding. Those designer clothes and shoes, they were part of your 'homework', right?"

We were dumbfounded. She was right. We took advantage of her. But I truly cared. At least, I thought I had.

I wanted to tell her that I'm different. That even though I hang out with them, she was truly the one who I'd be glad to have a time alone with. But without properly acknowledging and asking for forgiveness, I couldn't tell her that. Not even a mere sentence to revoke her unrequited feelings, that I've truly understood who I am now and what I want.

Vic held the gun up under the orange glow. She examined it well while smiling eerily at it. "All of you are hesitating to choose one over the other. If you choose to walk away, you might feel guilty to have caused a preventable death. But you can't give up the three million dollars either."

"Please, don't make us choose," Kate pleaded once more, sounding more sincere and frightened than the last.

She sighed and lowered the gun. She still kept up her smile, but this time it was coupled with a pair of stern eyes. "If you truly cared, there wouldn't be a need to choose. You would have already decided. But even after calling you out on your lies and my clear grim intentions, you are still trying to bargain. We're now beyond any type of second-guessing."

She's really serious. She's going to take her life. I had to say something. I had to tell her that I understand now and I know what I want. I want her.

"I forfeit," I declared.

They all looked at me with widened eyes. Brian grabbed my arm and turned me to his direction. "What are doing? You're ruining our chances here," he scowled, but kept his voice low.

"I'm doing what's right, Brian," I retorted.

His expression calmed down a little. "Amber, baby, we need to think this through. Don't you want to go to Hawaii like we've always dreamed of?"

Hawaii was his dream, not mine. And if I do want to go to Hawaii, it wouldn't be with him. "No," I firmly replied.

Brian was taken aback. He raised his brow as his grip on my arms tightened. "No?"

"No, I don't want to go to Hawaii with you. In fact," I twisted my arms to loosen his clutches on me, "I don't want to go anywhere with you!"

I broke free from his grasp. All three of them stood there completely still and speechless.

Brian recovered from the shock and frowned. "Are you implying that we should break up?"

"Yes, Brian. This is me saying that we're done."

Brian shook his head in disbelief. He quickly grab hold of my arm, squeezing it tightly. "You can't do this to me, Ams."

"Oh, I can. You're a horrible person, Brian. All of you. You use people for personal gain, and now you're still debating on what to choose when a person's life is at stake?" I shook my head and slowly backed away from them. "You're all monsters. Whatever friendship we had, I'm burying them in the back of my mind."

I turned to face Vic and walked towards her. Her eyes widened but glimmered in delight as I drew closer to her. I could see her grip on the gun had loosened. I kept my eyes on her as I felt my heart beat faster the closer I got.

This was it. All those long moments of contemplating and denying my feelings toward her had been brushed off. I'm barely of legal age, but I'm already drunk in love. The feeling of letting go and acceptance was a weird mix that surprisingly goes together. It was euphoric and relieving.

When I finally got to her, I immediately grabbed her empty hand and pulled it to my chest. I smiled warmly at her and she reciprocated it. We stood there just enjoying the sight of each other, eager to be together.

"Are you kidding me?" Brian bellowed. Our smiles faded when we heard him. "You broke up with me because you're gay?"

"Lesbian, or she’s probably bisexual," Kate, in a low voice, corrected him.

"Whatever!"

Vic and I looked back at him. His puffy, red face was scornfully judging us.

"No, Brian. It's because you value money over anything," I told him.

"Fine, then," he boomed. "Vic, how about you change the rules of your game, huh? You're clearly not going to kill yourself now. Let us choose the prize money and you won't ever see us again."

Vic looked at me, scanning my expression for any hints of what she should do. I gave her a slight nod and squeezed her hand. She gave me a warm smile and slightly nodded as well.

She looked back at him. "Alright. I assume the three of you are taking the prize money?"

Danny and Kate looked at each other. Brian glanced back at them. "Come on, that's three million dollars for each of us. Between the two of you, that's six total."

Hearing those values replaced their doubtful looks to delight. "Yes, we'll take it."

Vic gestured to her right. "Then go ahead."

Brian's eyes were set on the envelopes as he walked toward us. Danny grabbed his shoulder and stopped him. Brian frowned, surprised at his sudden demeanor.

"What?" Brian grumbled.

"How do we know you won't take all of it, huh?" Danny asked, frowning as he did so.

"I won't."

"Like hell you won't. I know you, Brian."

"Fine, then let's go get it together," Brian begrudgingly suggested.

Danny held his chin up and scoffed at him. He gestured for Kate to come closer. The trio walked side by side toward the glass box. They circled around it, as Brian unhooked the lock and reached inside for the envelopes. He opened one as soon as he got hold of it and held it up. He giggled as he mused at it, seemingly hypnotized.

I leaned in toward Vic's ear to relay a whisper, "Are those true checks?"

Vic chuckled. "Yes. I made sure of it."

Danny reached out his hand to him. "Now give it to us."

Brian's smile waned when he looked back at Danny. Danny jerked his hand, demanding to hand over their share.

"No," Brian firmly replied.

"What?" Danny said, surprised.

"Brian, for once be decent," Vic pleaded. "Three million is a lot already."

Brian stood still. Danny was still coercing Brian to hand over the money as Kate, unsure if she should chime in, just observed the squabble. Vic and I exchanged worried looks.

Just then, like lightning appearing in the sky unannounced, Brian grabbed Vic's gun before she could react to it. He held the gun up to our horrified faces.

"Brian, what are you doing?" Kate's voice shivered as she held her hands up.

Brian stuffed the envelopes inside his back pockets while maintaining his aim. "I'm claiming my damage fees."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Danny screamed at him.

Brian turned his aim at him. Danny and Kate held their hands up higher. "I'm talking about how I'm at a disadvantage here. The two of you get six million, and I only get three million?" Brian scoffed, "And I don't think the rules stated that the host is allowed to steal someone's girlfriend. I count that as a breach of rules. I'm taking this money as compensation."

"No, Brian. You won't," Vic grimly said.

Brian swung the gun toward Vic. "You. You don't get to have any say to this. You promised a prize for your stupid scavenger hunt, and we made it to the end. Then you lecture us about our objectives and viewpoint about money when you made advances on my girlfriend and stole her from me?"

"I didn't steal anything. She came to me voluntarily."

"Voluntarily?" Brian remarked bitterly. "Was the kiss at the party voluntarily too?"

Vic and I stiffened. He did see us.

"You—" Victoria stuttered.

"You're not the only one with surprises, Vic," Brian smugly remarked, tightening his grip on the trigger.

I couldn't think straight. All I heard was static and humming noises. The gun shimmered and taunted us that it made me froze up again. But I tried my best to break away from this trance and prevent Brian from doing the unthinkable.

"Brian, stop!" I yelled at him. He shifted his eyes to me. "You're not a killer. Please, don't do something you'll regret."

Brian's eyes softened as he stared at me with pitiful eyes. "I loved you, Ams. You gave me something to pine for, something to pull through every day."

He began to shed tears. His grip on the gun loosened and he's now holding it up with shaking hands.

I pitied him. He was as confused as I was when Vic did the same to me. But he deserved someone better. Even with his flaws and misconstrued mindset, he's a truly soft and caring guy.

"I'm sorry, Bri. I love you too, but not the same as before." He let his head down and cried. "I know this is hard, Bri. But this is not the answer."

Brian held his head up and exhaled loudly. He then looked back at us. "You're right," he slowly put down the gun.

The tension finally died down as Brian yielded. Vic and I gripped each others hands tighter than before. Danny wrapped his arm around Kate, who was about to break down.

But unlike the unpredictable lightning whose arrival suggests thunder is coming, no one anticipated what Brian was about to do, as he held the gun up against his temples.

"But this is," he said. He closed his eyes as his finger slowly pulled the trigger.

Danny dived in to grab the gun. When he got hold of Brian's hand, a shot rang.

I closed my eyes. I couldn't bear to see what had occurred. My head was pounding and my ears were ringing. Everyone was silent and the sound of the gunshot rang like terrifying church bells around us, reverberating and furiously mocking our ears.

After a while, I heard Kate's screeching scream, gnawing at us alongside the now waning gunshot.

I willed myself to open my eyes. I felt my lids lifting, but somehow I couldn't see anything but darkness. I blinked, but still nothing, though I could hear sirens wailing faintly.

I wanted to know what was happening, but why can't I see anything?

I closed my eyes once again, and thankfully when I opened them there was light. I felt a weight on my arm. I turned to see Vic resting.

"Vic..." I faintly called.

She raised her head and her eyes widened when she saw that I was awake. "Amber, oh thank goodness you're awake!" She leaned in closer to me. "You just fainted and I panicked."

I blinked my eyes. My head was still reeling, but I instantly remembered him. "Where's Brian?"

She gave me a pitiful look. "He's okay but..."

"But what?"

"He's in a coma. The bullet pierced through his head, but not all the way through. Danny made it in time to prevented it."

It was bittersweet news. I'm glad he's alive, but I couldn't believe he'd done that. I don't want him to die feeling betrayed and unloved.

"This is my fault," Vic spoke up. I felt her hand shivering. "I never meant for others to die. It was just supposed to be me. I was just so frustrated and angry that I—"

I shushed her. "Vic, it's not your fault. Brian had a choice." Her tears were warm on my hands. I tucked her hair behind her ear and clasped her cheeks. "And I made mine."

I smiled at her. Vic leaned onto me and wept on my shoulders. She wailed faintly on my ear as I caressed her back.

The things we've been through; the betrayal and intensity of that night. We misplaced our feelings, hid our intentions. It was horrifying, but was due to happen. But we picked ourselves up. And with the truth finally out and our feelings surfacing, we can make it through.

We'll be okay.