Limerence

The There hadn’t been a drop of water from the sky, but Vivek could feel his own personal raincloud forming over him. 

This was supposed to be his week. A reward from his job for all the hard work he put in, that’s what the emails told him, but he had been duped. This was supposed to be a well-deserved, relaxed, week off; Jerky Jerry and Chatty Chris wasn’t supposed to be here, neither was Sheryl from HR, Linda the receptionist, nor his boss, Daysha. But here they were, standing perkily in the lobby, awaiting their suite assignments just like him. 

He should have noticed what was going on on the plane. If he hadn’t been excitedly thumbing through brochure pages, he might have picked up on the fact that Paul and Wayne, two men that he was accustomed to seeing everyday at work, were sitting two rows in front of him. That to his left was a man called Robert, who he had seen before but hadn’t been able to put his finger on where. Now he remembered. He was from payroll. And this was a company retreat. 

Under any normal circumstance, he would never consent to being subjected to seven full days of interaction with the people that he was confined in a building with forty hours a week every week, but he had been desperate. And this was only a four-hundred-dollar vacation, having only had to pay for the flight. There were rarely times that Vivek had a day off. 

When he wasn’t at work, he was busy raising his little girl, Shaylin, all alone. Soccer games, after school clubs, house chores, and biweekly runs to the laundromat for fresh uniforms all added up. The hours were taxing and as a single father, and sole provider, he didn’t get many sick days. He wouldn’t trade his life for anything, but after convincing his sister to look after a kid when she hates children, convincing Shaylin that staying with aunty Janie for a week wasn’t going to be the end of the world and that daddy really needed this, he had better get his times worth.

Now, he was going to be forced to fraternize with the plain-janes of his work place - at least if he wanted to keep up with his appearance of the nice, approachable, trustworthy guy in the office that they could spill gossip to. He needed that gossip, it was the only thing that kept him going in that office. 

As the bellhop unlocked the hotel room door, he closed his eyes and breathed in the floral, salty scent of the hallway and envisioned the white sands that he could get himself lost in to avoid everyone else. He stepped in behind the woman with his eyes still closed and set his bags in some arbitrary place near the door before opening them and tipping her. When the door closed, he drew the curtains, opened the balcony door, and gazed reassuringly at the blue-green waters. 

No matter what smalltalk he’d have to put up with, this was going to be a good week.

He fell back on one of the two beds, folded his arms behind his head and closed his eyes to the sound of seagulls and crashing waves; and didn’t open them again until he heard a door creek open. His eyes darted to the bathroom, which he hadn’t had the chance to get a look at yet, besides what he saw in images online, but, from the glance that he was able to steal from behind the figure, it was immaculate. Much cleaner than the one that he shared with Shaylin, and much more expensive looking. The tub looked like it had jets, and despite his sidetracked confusion of the person emerging from the room, he was excited to get in there later. 

“Levi?” Vivek sat up, pulling his shirt back down where his midriff had become exposed. “What are you … I … uh, am I in the right suite?”

“You get assigned to room 520?” Vivek nodded. “Then you’re in the right place. Welcome to your temporary home, roomie.” 

Levi walked toward him and Vivek jumped off of the bed and backed away. Levi was only wearing a scanty towel held up by his hand. A hair towel, he had been using a hair towel as a bath towel. 

“Roomie?” Vivek blushed as he watched Levi pick up the clothes he had laid out on the bed, presumably before he showered. There was an impression of a body in them now, but they weren’t wrinkled. “Sorry about that,” he said gesturing to them, hugging his arms into his chest and trying desperately to keep his eyes on Levi’s, “but ‘roomie?’ What do you mean roomie?”

“We got assigned this room together,” Levi answered with a smile. “I’m sorry,” he noticed Vivek’s shrinking into the corner, “is this making you uncomfortable? I didn’t mean to offend you. Some kids ran into me back when we boarded. I’ve been sitting in a coffee soaked teeshirt for the last six hours. Usually I’d’ve waited for the roommate to at least settle in before I …” he gestures up and down at his body with his shorts balled in his hand, and it took everything Vivek had to focus on them instead of what he was gesturing to. “You know.” 

“I’m supposed to be sharing … this room …” he spun his finger in a circle, then pointed it at Levi, “… with you?”

“Would you rather someone else?” Levi shot his thumb back to the door and quickly grabbed the hair towel before it slipped down. “I’m ninety-eight-percent sure Daysha will roll her eyes at us making her work on vacation, but she’ll assign us someone else if you want.”

No. God no! Levi was more than welcome to stay here, right here, just like that, all week if he’d like. 

“No, no. You’re fine. I mean … I’m fine. You’re not fine … I mean you’re fine, but not in that way,” he looked away, clenched his eyes, and cringed at himself. “What I mean is,” he took a breath and as quick a second as he could to compose his words, “I wasn’t aware we were partnering up.” He hit himself. “Sharing rooms, I didn’t know we were sharing rooms.” 

Levi’s eyebrows were unleveled and he wore a smile parted in returning confusion. He had to be use to this by now. It was always like this when they were together. He was able to engage in conversation and conduct himself like any other adult pushing forty, but Vivek was incapable of such and would turn in to a babbling, flustered, school boy talking to his first crush. It wasn’t his fault. It had been so long since he had to interact with someone he was besotted with. 

Vivek would consider jumping on the next flight home to save himself the coming week of embarrassment, but two things were preventing him: every flight out was canceled, thanks to some tropical storm that wasn’t predicted to hit them but shut down the airlines; and because being stuck in a room with Levi wasn’t actually the worst thing that could happen on this trip. It at least gave him an excuse to man up and finally talk to the guy instead of limiting their interactions to nervously waiting for the coffee to brew, conferences, or brief work-related exchanges.

Focusing on his kid left little time for flirting and dating, a growing girl needed a lot of attention, and they already had such little time to spend with each other because of their packed-to-the-brim lives. She needed a parent, she need him to be around for her. He just never had time to give any attention to his dating life; but she was growing up now. It had been a long time since her mother, she could handle it now. And even if she couldn’t she didn’t have to know right away. It had just been so long since he had been in the game.

“Right. You don’t usually come to these kinds of things.” Levi pulled his shorts up under the towel and let out a restrained laugh when Vivek shifted his gaze upward that Vivek could only translate teasingly, flirty. Decency. Respect of privacy. “This cool with you?”

“Cool?” If by cool he meant hot, sizzling, scorching, then yes. “One hundred percent. So cool.” He shut his eyes again. 

“Cool.”  

When Vivek brought his eye line back down, Levi wore a smug, confident smile as he pulled a tank top that barely covered his chest on. It wasn’t something you’d expect to see a middle-aged man in, muscle tees were typically reserved for teenaged boys and college kids clinging to their outward appearances, but it was nice. 

“You can have that bed if you want,” Levi said, straightening his shirt and loosening it around his hips. “I’m not attached to it or anything, I just threw my clothes on it and forgot to bring them in with me.” 

Or they could share the bed, Vivek thought. Window view, warm climate and gentle breeze, sounds of the ocean. What could be more romantic?

“Yeah, sure. Thanks.” 

Missed opportunities. 

“Great! Well I was going to meet up with Wayne and Linda for a ritualistic round of drinks to kick off the holiday, but if that’s not your speed…” 

“Holiday? It’s May.”

“Holiday, as in vacation.” 

“Oh … Right,” idiot. “You don’t have to invite me to sit with your friends. I’m a grown man. I’m capable of finding things to do on my own.” 

“It wasn’t a pity invitation.” Levi sat on the edge of the other bed and looked out of the open balcony that he must have by now fully registered that he changed in front of. He sounded offended at first, and Vivek began to wonder what exactly this man had been intending. Surely it wasn’t what he had in mind. A walk down the beach, hand-in-hand; drinks ordered to the room … locking themselves in the room for the night, sharing the bed … but his tone turned to reasoning when he said,“Truth? We should probably be honest with each other if we’re going to be sleeping in the same room as each other.” Sleeping. “I don’t want it to be awkward when we get back to the office.”

“There are truths?” 

“Just one. Maybe two. Biggest one first? I kind of put in a request to Daysha to have us room together.”

Why would he do that? “Why would you do that? And does that mean that everyone else is not partnering up- sharing rooms?” 

“Okay. Second biggest one, maybe bigger than the first actually. It’s strange to order these, and I feel weird saying it, but I asked because I’m interested. Romantically. Or I’m attracted to you at least. Have been for a few years, but haven’t had the chance to put words to it. Now’s as good a time as any. You know? But if that makes you uncomfortable, if I just made you feel like I’m praying on you or something, I get it if you want to switch rooms. I’m rambling. To answer your question, yes, we are actually doing that. This wasn’t that elaborate of a ruse. Everyone gets a roommate at these things.” He scratched his head with a distant smile, like he was nervous to make any other statement; afraid even, probably of coming off as desperate. “The company is nice enough to float us the vacation, but they’re still pretty cheap. But I get it if you want a different roommate. Spending a week in a room with some guy you barely talk to, that orchestrated you being trapped in here with him might not be the most comfortable thing to do. I get that. And I get that it sounds perverse, I know, but we don’t get a lot of chances to talk in the office, and you always run out of there before I get a chance to invite you out.”

“I have to take my daughter to her practices.” Vivek interrupted to ease Levi’s anxiousness, though he regretted it. “Not right now. I mean when I leave. The office that is. When I rush out of the office it’s because I have a kid.”

“Yeah, I know,” then he caught himself, “sorry, not to be creepy. I swear I’m not a stalker. I heard from Chris that you have a kid. He likes to talk. And it’s a good thing, because I thought you just wanted to get away from me.” 

“If you thought that, what made you think I’d want to room with you?” 

“Hope?” He smiled a charming light at Vivek. “A hope that all the times you ran away from me in the break room and refused to look up from your desk were just you being really REALLY focused on your work?”

Vivek could feel the heat in his cheeks and was thankful that it would take a lot more being flustered to raise red into his dark cheeks. A luxury Levi did not have. The entire middle of his face was red. Is it bad that that made him cuter? But he kept looking out of the window cooly, like he was trying to detach himself from this conversation. 

“Is that why? Have you actually been avoiding me?”

“It is.” Vivek squeezed his eyes shut again, shook his head, and sat on his own bed across from Levi, “nervousness that is. I mean, I’m busy too, but everyone has time for a few breaks. Chatty Chris would have had to learn about Shaylin somehow, right?” 

“Then you haven’t been running out on me?” 

“Yes. No. Yes, but for the same reason you arranged all this … I didn’t know how to talk to you.” 

“Does that mean you’re interested? You know, in me?”

Vivek nudged him with his foot to steal his attention from the swaying palm trees outside of their window that created a neat path from the hotel to the sand. 

Levi had just pointed out that he spends most of their time together avoiding his eyes. He wanted to see them now. 

Vivek nodded, not knowing what else to say. He hadn’t asked anyone out since Shaylin’s mother; he hadn’t been asked out since his ex-fiancé. He hadn’t been on a date since then either. He thought it would be too much for Shaylin, losing both her mother and her potential step father was enough; she shouldn’t have to also go through being introduced to anyone else who wouldn’t stick around. 

She’s older now, he had to remind himself. 

“Okay. So, I’m doing it now. I’m inviting you out.”

“Drinking with your friends?” 

“Like I said, I know that’s not your speed.” 

Vivek shifted, “Truth? As you said…” Levi nodded with hesitation, and recessed back into himself little by little in hopes of it being unnoticeable. “Before we get in to this,” he couldn’t let it go, “my kid. She comes first.”

“Of course.” “And she doesn’t need anyone in her life that’s going to walk out on her again. So, whatever we bring back home, has to stay in the office - or at bars or whatever outside of work.” He looked Levi in the eyes and said this with all the sternness he could muster, “I cannot get into anything serious with someone who is going to hurt my kid.”

Levi took a moment to consider what he said, then the moment grew longer, and Vivek was sure he had scared him off. Rule number one of dating: save the mentioning of children for the third date. At the least. 

“Truth?” Vivek nodded. “I love kids. And when I make commitments, I stick to them.” He looked around the room, “How else could a guy work at a company like this for so long?”

“Maybe by looking forward to all the vacations?”

Levi let out a laugh that was just air before pulling himself to the end of the bed and reaching out for Vivek’s hand. He clasped it in both of his own. “I’m in. We can take it as slow as you need to. Hell, I’ve waited this long just to talk to you.”

Vivek smiled, “Okay, then I guess the only thing left to say is, ‘what do we do first?”

Whatever he wanted to do, Vivek was in. As long as the weather was warm, the sun stayed shining above their heads, and he got to finally let loose and get to know Levi, he would have been happy. 

No matter what they did, this was going to be a good week.