The Clean-up

A peaceful black void.  That’s what Marquise was experiencing.  In the far distance, he could faintly detect strange sounds.  It didn’t matter.  Whatever the noises were had to be thousands of miles away and not in his immediate space.  Therefore, they were of no concern to him in his endless space of comfort.  The noises slowly became more discernible and increased in volume.  It was a voice.  That’s impossible.  How could anyone get here?  This was a safe space.  Whatever this disturbance was would surely go away.  All he needed to do was continue to float wherever the atmosphere took him.  Definitely not a care in the -

“GET UP!”

Marquise’s perfect black voice shattered into a thousand pieces.  Light flooded in as the pillow he had over his head was ripped away from his face.

“Did you hear anything I just said?!?”  A beautiful girl with soft, tawny brown skin and tediously styled curls stood looking at him.  Despite her petite stature, the fury in her light brown eyes made her seem a lot bigger.  She waited expectedly for a response.  Her gaze was unwavering as she stood with empty red solo cups in one hand and a half-filled trash bag in the other hand.  

Marquise was still in a state of discombobulation.  Slowly, as if his brain finally finished rebooting, he started to remember the past 12 hours.  

“I heard you,” he gruffly responded as he massaged the side of his head.  “I’m sure they can hear you all the way on campus.”

“Your door was wide open when I came in.  It also smells several different body fluids mixed together in here.”

Marquise was barely sitting up.  The light hurt his eyes making it difficult to fully look at his angry girlfriend standing before him.  “Yeah,” he managed a wry smile, “it was epic.  You shoulda been here.” 

“Some of us actually have responsibilities this morning.”  Maybe you should -- “

“If you’re going to tell me all about myself, can you at least make some eggs first?  Everything sounds better over eggs.”

Elisa crushed the cups in her hand as her eyes widened with rage.

“Ok, ok,” Marquise added, “I’m sorry.  You’re right… It’s definitely a waffles kind of morning.  No! Wait.  You’re always telling me about compromise.  Put me down for both.  I love waffles.  It’s actually the only food I can make well.”

“Yup.  That’s you,” Elisa said as she threw her hands up in the air as if to concede.  “Just make jokes and eventually everything will be fine.”

“I thought you liked my jokes,” Marquise added feigning hurt feelings. 

Marquise wasn’t sure why he was poking the proverbial bear this morning.  They arugured frequently in between the sweeter moments.  James, Marquise’s roommate once described their relationship as a “Disney fairytale… where, instead of happily ever after, there’s a lot more swearing in Spanish and nobody really learns a lesson.”

How did it get to this point?  Elisa was once the center of his universe.  Now she feels like a black hole, destroying anything fun that comes anywhere near it.  Marquise would often wonder why she even tries.  Doesn’t she get it that there’s too much to fix?  Marquise knew he was not innocent in all of this.  Elisa was the pinnacle of success.  She grew up on the top floor of a converted single-family apartment off Woodhaven Boulevard in Queens.  All six members of her family lived upstairs with her.  A beautiful biracial product of an African-American father and a Dominican mother, Elisa was the youngest and defied every statistic thrown in her face.  Neither her mother nor her father finished high school and yet education and the acquisition for knowledge was her main purpose for living.  At this point, she had to have greater than a 4.0GPA and was involved in just about every activity on campus. No.  Correction: She was on the board, running, or facilitating just about every activity on campus. She never missed a day of class nor was she ever late to work; not even once in the two years they had been together.  She hardly needed Marquise or any of his underachieving habits.  What could he do, though?  Was he to stay in a relationship with someone who loves him, but didn’t need him or end the relationship and be alone and continue his abusive relationship with himself?  Marquise knew there was a reason he always ended up at this point.  It’s because he always realized that he wasn’t worth the effort and needed to do the right thing and end this farce.     

Marquise’s tone suddenly shifted.  He felt his hunched-over body straighten up as his eyes finally adjusted to the morning light. 

“Elisa,” he began with no plan of where he was going, “I think… we...”

“Save it, Marquise.  I don’t want to hear it right now,” Elisa said as she continued to clean.  She picked up a trash bag and began stuffing cans, cups, and pizza boxes inside.  The sounds of angry cleaning filled the air for the next 15 minutes.  Marquise knew he had to say something.  He would tell her that it’s probably best to call it quits now and save her the detective work of discovering that he’s not worth it.  Here it goes.  As Marquise turned around to face Elisa, he opened his mouth to deliver the knockout punch.  To his surprise, he was relieved of coming up with the perfect break-up conversation starter.    

Elisa was already facing him when he turned around.  “I’m... not sure this is working out”, she hesitantly stated.  

Marquise had never felt so many different emotions at one time.  It felt like his chest was going to burst.  Isn’t this is what he wanted?  Why then does he feel so much turmoil?  It’s fine.  He would just calmly ask her to expand on her previous statement.

“Are you f$@#ing crazy?” 

Not quite as eloquent as he had hoped, but it didn’t matter.  It was out there now.  

“Excuse me?”  Elisa was in shock.

“What?  You think I’m the problem?!? What about you?”  Marquise wasn’t sure why he was getting so upset.  “Little Ms. Perfect isn’t so perfect in all this.”

“What are you talking about?!?”

“All you do is criticize me.  There’s nothing I can do right.  You constantly remind me that I’m not what you want or need.  If I was, you wouldn’t want to change everything about me.”

“Marquise, you’re not happy!  You self-sabotage to the point where you won’t even try anything new.”

“Is this because I wouldn’t watch Jane the Virgin with you?” Marquise asked in utter confusion.

“See? You just deflect and never take anything seriously.  Being serious means effort.  Effort means commitment.  Commitment means risk.  You never want to take that risk which means you don’t think the risk is worth it… which means you don’t think I’m worth it.”

“Since when did you change your major to psychology?”

“Marquise --”

“No.  You’ve said enough.  Seems like you’ve been thinking about this for a while.  Also seems like you have all the answers today, but the one flaw in your logic is that you think you’re easy to love.”

A chilling silence engulfed the room.  Marquise actually felt the temperature in his apartment drop after his words.

“You don’t think it’s obvious to everyone how embarrassed you are by me.  But it’s just as obvious to me how much you change when you’re around your friends.  You never speak Spanish around them.  You never talk about your family.  You’re ashamed of where you come from.  I don’t know why you keep me around.  Guilt?  Like I’m some connection to who you used to be.”

Marquise’s words hung in the air to the point where he almost thought they were visible to anyone who might walk in.  

“Ok, Marquise.  It seems like we’re in agreement.”  Elisa dropped the trash bag she was filling up and calmly walked out of the door.  It was almost graceful.  For some reason, this made it worse.  Marquise actually preferred that she would have stormed out like usual.  

It was then that James slowly emerged from underneath a pile of pizza boxes and beer cans he had passed out under like some kind of trashcan phoenix rising from the ashes.  He cracked his neck as he stretched, “What did I miss?”   

“Something that was overdue,” Marquise said staring at the empty doorway.  

“O… K...  That’s not mysterious at all.  Was that Elisa I heard?”  James began sifting through the pile of cans right next to him.  His face lit up as he found an unopened beer.  He cracked it open and took a deep gulp.  “I gotta say, in the four years I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you act the way you do with her.”

“What do you mean?”

“You need her, man.  She’s been around longer than any girl I’ve ever known you to be associated with.  That’s saying a lot.  You used to be kind of a slut.”

“Nah, man.  She was too good for me --”

“Which is probably why you should keep her around.  I’m just sayin’, you always seemed like a better version of yourself when you’re with her.  You used to avoid any and all challenges before her.”

“You hear how she talks to me!  She shouldn’t talk to me like I’m some kid!”

James took another gulp from his beer and casually took a seat.  He leaned back on the couch as if he was settling in for a movie marathon of his favorite show.

“Marquise… why shouldn’t she?  We train people how to treat us.“

Marquise slowly threw his head back and closed his eyes as he let out a loud groan.

“When did everyone in this city get so enlightened?”

“I’m a philosophy major,” James said with a smile.  

“You’re also sitting on a slice of pizza.”

“We’re not questioning my life choices right now.  We’re trying to undo yours.  She’s probably at the train station by now.  You can’t avoid this one.  Remember, ‘one often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.’”

“That’s from Kung Fu Panda… and I’m not even sure it applies.”

“Why are you still here?!?  We don’t live that far from the Marta station.”

Marquise once again let out a groan, grabbed his coat, and sprinted out the door.  

In full sprint, he caught up with her about 5 blocks away.

“You… destiny… growth…,” Marquise was gasping for air.

“What are you talking about?” Elisa asked impatiently.  

“Elisa, first of all, you take very long strides for someone with such short legs.  Second, I messed up.  I’ve been looking at everything wrong.  I saw you as a hurdle in my life when really you’re the only reason I’m still in this race.  I’ve never met anyone like you.  You get me.  My issues shouldn’t have to become your problems.  I wanna try this again.  I… I… -”

“Marquise, you were right,” Elisa admitted.  “I’m not easy to deal with sometimes.  I don’t know how to do this.  All I know is that when I’m with you, things usually seem easier.  I do lose myself sometimes when I’m with my friends.  I put a lot of pressure on myself --” 

“So don’t carry that by yourself.  I don’t put any pressure on myself.  I have more than enough space to carry some weight for you as well.”

Elisa smiled as she wiped her eyes.  Marquise pulled her in and hugged her.  Her forehead was just below his chin and he leaned down and kissed her forehead.

“We can do this,” he reassured both of them.  “Also, I don’t want to clean that whole apartment by myself.  James is not good at cleaning.  He’s currently drinking leftover beer and sitting on an open box of pizza.”

“Then we better get started,” Elisa said through a grin. 

It’s Friday night again.  Marquise takes one last look in the mirror. Everything has to be perfect.  No hairs out of place.  His shirt must be ironed and pressed with professional quality.  He examines the plug-ins throughout the house making sure they are full and not needing to be replaced.  The apartment was clean and looked enormous with all of the extra space.  Marquise walked over to his waffle maker to make sure nothing was burning.  The rich aroma of blueberries permeated throughout the house.  

“Why are we having breakfast for dinner?” James was standing in the kitchen doorway wearing only pajama pants.  “And why is the apartment so clean?  Did we get evicted?  We can’t get evicted.  My mama said I can’t live at home--”  

“No special occasion, my man.  Also… you gotta go,” Marquise calmly informed his roommate.  

“But, where am I supposed to go?”

“Don’t know.”  Marquise reached in his pocket, pulled out a wad of money and counted out twenty-five dollars. “Wherever you go, this should be a good start for you.”    

James looked at the money being extended to him, squinted his eyes as he thought it over, and cautiously took the money.  

“OK.  I don’t know what you’re planning, but have fun.”  James then returned to his room and began getting dressed. 

Marquise returned to the kitchen.  He grabbed a pitcher of sparkling water and placed it on the table.  He ran back to the kitchen to make sure take out the waffles and add more batter and blueberries to the waffle maker.  He had just closed the lid on the maker when he heard the doorbell.

Marquise ran to the door, stopped just in front, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.  He opened the door to see Elisa standing there.  Marquise was absolutely seeing her for the first time. It didn’t seem possible, but her eyes seemed an even sharper shade of brown.  Looking into them caused his heartbeat to accelerate, a feeling she had not been responsible for in recent memory.  She wore a blue and white skirt that hugged her body tightly and caused his eyes to linger over every inch of her lower half.  He caught himself and immediately returned after what seemed like hours to make eye contact.  She was blushing.  He just realized at that moment that he never made her blush before.

“Hi.”  James honestly couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“Should I come in or are we eating on the porch?”, she asked with a grin.

“Oh. Yeah,” James said as he regained his composure. “Right this way.  I mean, por aqui.”  James couldn’t help but raise one eyebrow and deepen his voice as he spoke.   

Elisa’s head tilted slightly as she gazed at him both surprised and impressed.  She came in and sat at the table.  “Do I smell waffles?”

“It may not be as classy as the Waffle House, but I think you’ll be satisfied with the menu.”

“So there’s an actual menu?”

“Well… no… that woulda been pretty cool, though.  Damnit.”

“It’s OK,” Elisa laughed, “I’m still impressed so far.  I’m not sure I’ve ever seen your carpet.  It’s usually covered by people, stains, and clothes.  And one time I think I saw a ferret in here.”

“Yeah.  James went through a phase.  It was weird.  Anyway, we should eat.  Maybe we can watch Jane the Virgin.” 

Elisa smiled.  “Marquise, you don’t have to watch that.  I know you --”

“No, you’re right.  It’s kind of a roller coaster.  Jane’s baby’s daddy’s sister violating her like that.  The will they or won’t they back and forth with Jane and Rafeal.  And don’t get me started on what Susanna did to Michael.  I’m sure that won’t stick right?  Mike’s going to pull through, right?  Right?!? Wait… why are you looking at me like that?”

“You watched all of that for me?”  

“Of course.  I know you can’t watch too many episodes tonight because you have to work tomorrow.  So I caught up so we wouldn’t be up all night.”

“Elisa sat silent.  She was expressionless.  She suddenly stood up and walked across the room towards Marquise.  She grabbed threw her hands around his neck and pulled him close and passionately kissed him.  Marquise was immediately transported back to his peaceful void.   The world pulled away from him as he again was surrounded by a peaceful void.  Nothing else mattered.  Nothing else existed before that moment or after that moment.  He was frozen in time for eternity.  

What seemed like hours later, they separated, but only by inches.  Their foreheads were touching as they smiled and looked into each other eyes.

“Marquise, the toilet’s clogged again--” James had come around the corner and froze like a rabbit in the forest that suddenly heard a large animal moving in the bushes nearby.

“I am so sorry,” he said backing away, “I’m just going to see myself out. Pretend I wasn’t here.  Wow.  Sorry.”  James quickly disappeared back through the doorway only to suddenly reappear in the kitchen.  “You guys probably won’t eat all these Waffles.  I’m just gonna take a few.  I get hungry on long Uber rides. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

Both Marquise and Elisa smiled and waved before looking back at each other.

“I guess we better get started if you’re going to make it to work on time tomorrow.”

“Actually,” she said softly as she pulled him down onto the couch, “I think I’ll call out tomorrow.”